Unread post
by anondesires » Sun Jul 27, 2025 2:34 pm
She had messaged me a few times in the evening, a couple of times to tease me and a couple of others just to let me know where she was. The thoughts I was wrestling with was how I almost wanted her to find someone who could fuck her well and how I could remember from weeks before not wanting that and not wanting to let myself ever feel this way. I could remember only wanting it when I was really horny, it being a guilty pleasure and as I backed away from the peak I'd feel shame for having wanted it. It was almost the other way around now, I'd think about her getting fucked and it would get me horny. I would consider whether I was thinking clearly before or now. Had I become corrupted and wasn't thinking straight now or had I become enlightened and my former self couldn't put his ego aside to see it for what it really was?
I spent the evening feeling nervous, anxious and horny. When she was over at my friends house, I had a good idea of what was happening, when she was out like this, I had no idea what to expect and whether she was safe. Each message she sent would reassure me she was ok and I could focus more on the erotic thoughts.
I realised how I'd kind of forgotten about my worry of not being able to be everything for her, not being able to sexually satisfy her. I realised I'd somewhat accepted that sexual satisfaction was something she was getting from other guys and how that was actually hot and how I'd been more happy and relaxed without that worry and responsibility on my shoulders. I still have internal conflict about it, I don't like to consider myself a cuck that can't satisfy his girlfriend but it feels good to give into that realisation when I'm horny.
I still enjoy the thought that she just tells me it's meaningless but in the moment it might mean everything to both of them, that they're laughing about how she'll tell me that it's meaningless and how he would want to rub my face in it.
Anyway... around 10pm I hear her open the front door, she slightly staggers into the lounge, fumbles with her shoes and kicks them off then looks at me with a naughty grin. She tells me to lay on the floor if I want to hear all about it. I do as she says, she sits on my chest and reaches behind her to stroke my cock. She tells me about different guys she spoke to and whether she was attracted to them, whether she thought they'd fuck her good. She tells me about meeting a guy at the 2nd bar her group went to and that they left to go somewhere else without the group she was with. She said how they flirted with each other, that he offered to take her back to his place, that she wanted to fuck him. She asked what I thought happened next. I said I didn't know. She took off her underwear and offered her pussy to my mouth. I ate her pussy, she grinded against me and made pleasurable noises before withdrawing and asking again what I thought happened. I told her I thought she went back to his and fucked him. It wasn't obvious from eating her but she had got back quite late given what she had told me so far.
She told me that she wasn't feeling it with him, he had gotten her really horny, she needed to fuck but didn't feel right about going back to his with him. She messaged my friend, he wasn't busy and agreed to pick her up. She sucked his cock in his car and then they went into his house and fucked. She said he gave her what she needed and that it was her turn to give me what I needed and made me eat her pussy again until she came. We then made love to each other and it felt like everything was perfect again. She thanked me for allowing her to enjoy nights like that night and told me she was lucky to have me.
We went to bed, she fell asleep fairly quickly but I couldn't sleep, my mind was filling with doubts about where we were headed and where I was headed. Remembering how I used to think about all of this and realising how I thought about it now scared me in an indirect sort of way. I can remember what I would've thought about someone in my position, I would've wondered how they let themselves get there. I sort of agreed to let my girlfriend get the sexual satisfaction I wasn't able to give her with other guys, it started out as something we talked about beforehand, I thought it would be once every couple of weeks with some anonymous stranger. I had just licked up my best friend's 2nd load of the week and it would probably be 3 by the end of the week. I didn't even know who's load I was just eating at the time. Probably every time we had sex this week would be sloppy seconds. The question was, was I happy? I wasn't unhappy. I thought about it that I was on a rollercoaster, are people happy on rollercoasters? Usually they don't stop to consider it, they're too busy experiencing feelings and emotions. Is it better to experience those feelings and emotions or better to keep your feet on solid ground? I didn't want to get off the rollercoaster. I considered what I "should" change about my situation or what I "should" avoid, it was a long thinking process that amounted to nothing, I decided that what we were doing was exciting for both of us so why change it?
The next morning, fairly predictably, I got a message from my friend telling me what a nice surprise it was to have my drunk and horny girlfriend offering herself to him and how he was happy to help us out. He told me that the other guy had got her all revved up and that she was begging for his cock. I think he was hoping I would thank him but I didn't give into it. He then told me, as a "heads up", that she had been talking about her guy on guy cock sucking fantasy in her drunken state. He was letting me know that he had nothing to do with it and had rejected her suggestions of him allowing it. There was a bit of banter back and forth with him reconfirming that I didn't want it and me reconfirming he didn't want it either. We agreed it would be too weird but he stated that he was glad she was fantasizing about it the way round that she was.
I felt a bit betrayed that she had discussed me sucking his cock with him. I know she was drunk and had already told him it was her fantasy. It was only logical that her fantasy meant she was fantasizing about me sucking him and not the other way around but it still felt like a gut punch that she had spelled it out to him and possibly even suggested it to him. There was also a realisation that he had probably thought about me sucking his cock, if only just to consider whether he could tolerate it. The idea that he had thought about it got my heart racing and I wondered whether he had realised that I must've thought about it too. It was a bit of mind fuck.
... Maybe you could meet her halfway.
are you still finding it possible to view your friend as a friend rather than someone that sleeps with your girlfriend? Does the friendship dynamic still exist outside of your bedroom escapades? Is he trying to be dominant outside the bedroom dynamic?
?
... Maybe you could meet her halfway.