Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[Dream Weaver]

You will always want to be cuckolded now.

This scares me. A week ago, I thought I wanted it to stop or slow down, I wondered if I was over it, if the novelty had worn off. I worried that I wouldn't want it to continue and what might happen if I asked her to stop. When we agreed to have a break from it, it was a relief that it could stop and we could have normality back but it was short lived. Sex didn't feel the same without it. When she said it was up to me to pursue it again, I didn't think she was serious, she would've probably given in and pursued it eventually but I kept thinking about it and maybe even worried that it might not continue, especially if I left it longer. It didn't seem like a big deal to just give him a nudge and make tomorrow happen. So it scares me that I might actually need it now to some extent. I even found myself thinking the other day how I'm lucky that so many guys find her attractive and masturbated to the thought of any guy with a bigger dick than me being allowed to fuck her. The post nut clarity was shocking.

You have a good friendship with your friend. It's fun for you both when you are begging him to fuck your girlfriend, whenever he wants.
It must make you so hard, asking him. Him too, of course.

That last conversation I shared was different... We usually joke about it, that was much more direct and serious. I didn't expect it to be like that and I was hard, probably would've been jerking off too if my girlfriend wasn't there. Part of me wanted the conversation to continue but I guess I was afraid of him thinking I was enjoying it. I've thought about messaging again today but haven't for the same reason.

Everything gets old with time, that's why the first time is so interesting and usually great. Bucket lists, man. Unless you are betraying somebody, have fun. You only get so many orbits around the sun.

[elina]

You will always want to be cuckolded now.

This scares me. A week ago, I thought I wanted it to stop or slow down, I wondered if I was over it, if the novelty had worn off. I worried that I wouldn't want it to continue and what might happen if I asked her to stop. When we agreed to have a break from it, it was a relief that it could stop and we could have normality back but it was short lived. Sex didn't feel the same without it. When she said it was up to me to pursue it again, I didn't think she was serious, she would've probably given in and pursued it eventually but I kept thinking about it and maybe even worried that it might not continue, especially if I left it longer. It didn't seem like a big deal to just give him a nudge and make tomorrow happen. So it scares me that I might actually need it now to some extent. I even found myself thinking the other day how I'm lucky that so many guys find her attractive and masturbated to the thought of any guy with a bigger dick than me being allowed to fuck her. The post nut clarity was shocking.

Dear Anondesires.

Life is a continous evolution as we digest experiences our desires and the understanding of ourselves evolves.

It is higly common among cucks and submissives to want to eliminate the related fantasies, to stop acting these out and go back to "normal", and then when we attempt to do so, reality catches up with us (and the longer you stay chaste or refer from any of the "undesireable actions" the more intense the desire to accept reality becomes. )

I think what you described happening to you now is very typical. So in the previouys cuckold session your Girlfriend tried to make you a) beg them to remove your blindfold so you could watch your Girlfrien enjoying Her self on the big cockl of your friend, you refused.
b) make you suck your friends cock; you refused and use the safeword.

Obviously you will continue to resist sucking cock, but on your last date with your Girlfriend, She managed now to get you to beg your friend to start fucking your Girlfriend again.

So later today when your friend again comes back, will you still refrain from begging for them to remove your blindfold if your Girlfriend puts it on today as well? To me, this should be a much lower hanging fruit that sucking cock?

I hope all three of you will have a wonderful Sunday afternoon and that this session will put everything back on track for your Wonderful Girlfriend to continue to train you to become the cuck She loves...

Sincerely
elina

[Greg_N_Shelley]

..As I came it felt like exorcising a demon, a massive release of pleasure and being cleansed of those thoughts. I felt huge shame.

I think it’s quite possible to return to a vanilla lifestyle after eating the forbidden fruit. But as you noted, something is always going to be missing. Returning to a vanilla sex life may be satisfying, but it will never be as euphoric as your kinky adventures. This is something I always caution wannabe’s who are on the fence about taking the big plunge: Be careful what you wish for! This will change you (and quite possibly your girl too).

For my wife and I, hotwifing wasn’t a regular part of our daily lifestyle and we always enjoyed a good sex life between periodic episodes. But I also think that was due to our approach from the beginning. Hotwifing was always viewed as a ‘vacation from the mundane’ and something we engaged when the itch scratched us both.

But your case may be different. You jumped in quite hard and it’s obvious the humiliation aspects of cuckoldry are a thrill for both of you. That side of this kink (humiliation) was never an appeal for my wife and I, and I can only imagine how that dimension may fuel your cravings even further. My suspicion is that genie isn’t going back in the bottle without leaving a major void in your sense of satisfaction.

I think it’s probably futile to suppress your desires now that you’re this far down field. And moreover, unnecessary. Your girlfriend obviously enjoys the game, and the fact she was willing to pause suggests she loves you and doesn’t think less of you. Your friend is also onboard and doesn’t think less of you either. Personally, I just see a win for everyone.

Maybe just embrace “who you are” now that you’ve fully discovered yourself. Free yourself from guilt and any sense of self-loathe, and enjoy the adventure.

[joel68]

I wonder if his friend visited on Sunday. I thought he was coming over.

Maybe I read his post wrong.

[vicg]

I think he probably did. I’m looking forward to reading about how it went whenever Anon is ready to tell us.

[Xmatty1]

I’m pretty sure they all made sure that they all three know who his girlfriends pussy needs on Sunday. I hope Anon has the courage to tell us about it.

[WarrenOldcuck]

Hey Anon, ever thought about turning this around? Your friend desperately wants to fuck your gf, she wants it too and she obviously loves you so how about making him beg to come and fuck her? You love to watch so make him beg for it.

[WarrenOldcuck]

Hey Anon, ever thought about turning this around? Your friend desperately wants to fuck your gf, she wants it too and she obviously loves you so how about making him beg to come and fuck her? You love to watch so make him beg for it.

[anondesires]

He did come over. It went well, I didn't feel like writing about it Sunday night and now I'm having a busy week. I'll write about it when I get time.

[elina]

He did come over. It went well, I didn't feel like writing about it Sunday night and now I'm having a busy week. I'll write about it when I get time.

[sucker00]

He did come over. It went well, I didn't feel like writing about it Sunday night and now I'm having a busy week. I'll write about it when I get time.

This is directed to all the people on this thread who hound Anon for updates.... please stop. Anon is very generous to share his experiences with us and the last thing he needs is for any of us to make him feel obligated to post, like it's his duty. Burdening the guy with constant and immediate communication will take the enjoyment out of him posting here. Let the guy do his thing on his timeline... we are the lowest priority on his list of things going on in his world.

[MatureCouple]

^^^^^^
Yes, agree

[coastalkid]

Take your time Anondesires! We'll be here when you're ready.

[joel68]

Yeah, whenever he has time to post something is fine with me. Normal life goes on, and sometimes there are curves thrown at you as well which take precedent. Eventually he will return. And it should be interesting as usual.

[DoctorLuv]

The thoughtful, caring individuals who are following your thread appreciate your openness and honesty, and appreciate the courage required to reveal one’s vulnerability. You should only post if your posts are a benefit to you and those you love. I’m hopeful that your posts have helped you gain insight about your true feelings and about your relationships with both your girlfriend and friend. I’m also hopeful that not only has the articulation of your posts been therapeutic in helping you better understand your life and relationships, I’m hopeful that the posts from those following your thread have been helpful, too. I’m hopeful that not only have others’ experiences given you knowledge and insight, they have let you feel some level of camaraderie.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

There are a certain group of posters on this site that I like to call the "peanut gallery". There's about 10 to 15 of them. They absolutely ruin threads.

Anon...don't pay attention to the peanut gallery.

[sucker00]

There are a certain group of posters on this site that I like to call the "peanut gallery". There's about 10 to 15 of them. They absolutely ruin threads.

Anon...don't pay attention to the peanut gallery.

I wasn't fussing about the folks who contribute to the thread with thoughtful dialogue, as there are many thoughtful contributions in this thread with Anon. I just got irked that Anon felt obligated to let people know he's having a busy week which is why he hadn't posted, due to some of the posts after this past Sunday.

[vicg]

Right, I completely agree. It is OK to encourage an author by telling them you're enjoying their story, or that you are eagerly awaiting the next installment. One of this site's few downsides is that it doesn't give readers away to express appreciation other than actually commenting, and sometimes writers will quit in frustration because as far as they can tell nobody is reading or caring about their story.

But pressuring people to write is not cool.

[Bluetoed]

I am pretty sure the people asking for updates are typing one handed.

[octavian]

I am pretty sure the people asking for updates are typing one handed.

And no doubt, many on here who are reading this exciting account are doing so in a similar fashion.

[lockedbybullsw]

This thread is simply fire. From the aggressive progression to the willingness of anon to explore. Anon, from the right POV you’re living a dream. From the sounds of it, you’re loving it too. It’s easy to get those feelings of doubt. Iv have certainly been there! You’re handling this in incredible fashion. I hope you and everyone involved throughly enjoys every little part of this unique experience.

[anondesires]

Annoyingly, I'm over a week behind again and can't remember too many specifics, I guess it is what it is, I can't change that now. Last Sunday morning she was teasing me a lot about how I'd asked for it, how every other time I'd been pushed or pulled into it in some way but this was all my doing, they had agreed to back it off and I'd asked them to continue. She said she felt good about it, she said that there had always been a small amount of guilt and worry when she had been pushing me into it but now she didn't feel responsible for potentially hurting me.

I think telling me this was more to help her relax into it than to tease me but it did up the angst, wondering if they were going to notch it up a level. In the first few times we did this, she would be quite secretive about getting ready and making herself look good for him. She was no longer hiding anything about it, I wouldn't say she was rubbing my face in it but more towards that end of the scale. She'd ask me to choose between things, she tried on different lingerie and asked which I thought he would prefer. There was definitely some humiliation in choosing how my own girlfriend would look so that my best friend would want to fuck her the most.

She would make small talk about how she was going to enjoy it, how good his dick felt both in her mouth and her pussy. Again, I don't think it was to tease me, it seemed to be so she could feel confident about not hurting me but it did turn me on too. She asked about whether they would need to tie me up and blindfold me again. I said it wasn't necessary. She asked if I was going to beg, I told her I intended to play along this time. We had a discussion about whether that meant I'd be faking my part. I said that I didn't see it as faking it. I explained that I had been overplaying the reluctance to save face, by role playing I was just countering that part of me that felt the need to appear reluctant.

When he arrived, we went straight to the bedroom where she had stayed, waiting for us on the bed in lingerie. He told her how hot she looked and how he looked forward to seeing her undress as he sat next to her. She told me to undress and asked what I thought she should do. I said she should do whatever he wants her to do. She asked him what he wanted. He told her to get on her knees and suck his cock. She got on her knees, he stood up and she took out his cock. She paused and looked at me as if to prompt me. I asked her "please... suck his cock...", it felt both strange to be asking and humiliating. I felt the urge to stroke my already hard dick but resisted before remembering that I probably should play the part with that too. It felt good to stroke my dick while watching, he noticed that I was, I realised that it probably turned him on which in turn turned me on more too.

She was sucking slowly and deeply, swapping between eye contact with him and eye contact with me. He told her he knew she could suck better than that. She sarcastically told him she wasn't just a whore for a big cock. He told her we all knew she was, she giggled. She asked me if she should be a whore for his big cock. I said yes, she waited, I said "please be a whore for his big cock", it probably sounded a bit sarcastic or scripted but I meant it, it just felt like my new way of masking it. She smiled at me and then continued to suck his cock with more enthusiasm. She then jokingly asked me if I didn't love her. I told her I did love her and she called me over to her. I went over to her, kneeled next to her and she started to make out with me before returning to his cock. There were flashes of last time but I could see this time, I wasn't fearing the unknown. I could see up close, my beautiful girl pleasuring his magnificent cock like a pro, I was proud of her. I felt so cucked, stroking my dick as I watched her suck, willing her on, it looked so erotic.

Each time she turned to kiss me, it felt like a privilege, this beautiful being kissing me, I told her I loved her a couple of times more. Edging myself heightened everything, I was aware that it was embarrassing to be like this in front of my friend but I figured I could pass it off as role play. I could see she was touching herself as she was sucking. I was tempted to go down on her but didn't dare to humiliate myself anymore than I was, it felt like I'd crossed the limit already. Eventually he got on the bed and laid back, she followed him and continued to suck on all fours. Her pussy was slightly exposed, it was still tempting to eat her pussy as she sucked but I didn't. He asked her to strip for him, while kneeling on the bed she seductively removed everything and then gave him a foot job.

He then grabbed her, pulled her off of him and got on top of her, spreading her legs and resting his dick against her pussy. "C'mon then cuck, this is what you want, right?" he said. I said yes. He told me to beg and convince him. Again, in a semi-sarcastic tone, I asked him to fuck her, to cuck me. He started to fuck her, I was jerking off as I watched but got a bit carried away. I stopped as I got close but maybe I got too close or the moment pushed me over, I waited hoping I would fall back from the edge but cum started to shoot/dribble as I essentially ruined my own orgasm. I started jerking again to rescue what pleasure I could from it but it was mostly gone and I was left in post nut clarity, realising the harsh reality in front of me, my best friend balls deep in my girlfriend, not arousing to me at all, just upsetting and shameful.

I waited, trying not to draw attention to myself, using her lingerie to clean up the cum. It seemed like an eternity, sat there, unsure what to do, regretting what had happened. He was adding commentary and they were saying things to each other but I was blanking it out. Eventually the arousal came back, not as much as before but enough to mildly enjoy it. He asked us both to beg for his cum. I did so but basically faked it. He came inside her and then left us alone, went downstairs. She tried to insist that I go down on her but I explained what had happened and that I didn't really have the urge to. She understood and we had sex for longer than usual. It was good but didn't have the same intense feelings and release it normally would. We went downstairs and everything was as normal.

I've tried to avoid this happening every time so far, I hoped to never experience this but it was a reminder to be more careful. It's a shame, it was good up until that point. I was a bit worried about the things I had said and done, I thought one of them might mention it after but nobody did, it was like once we'd all finished, it was forgotten about which was good.

[sucker00]

Welcome back, Anon. I hope life is good in your orbit, aside from what you write about here. I'll be curious to hear what your feelings were after last Sunday, I suspect you had a lot to process. It seems you came down pretty hard after your premature orgasm, and it seems like your GF handled the reconnecting period with you pretty well. I sense that the dynamic has changed a little bit among the three of you based on what you've relayed here. How did you feel about your GF being more open / blatant about your friend with you? I also get the sense that even though an aspect of the humiliation turns you on, maybe the way it went down specifically, wasn't such a turn-on for you. My sense from reading your account, was that the whole cuckold thing went down kind of like a poorly written sex story and that's not what pushes your buttons. It's important for everyone involved to make sure everyone in this complex kind of relationship gets what they need out of it, or it doesn't work. Another thought, I have to wonder if your GF hasn't since pondered how to circumvent the premature post-nut clarity situation again... have the two you discussed anything along those lines since last Sunday? I get the sense that being cuckolded turns you on, but you're not necessarily wanting to be a 100% willing participant? Not sure how that works out exactly for you, but just my observation.

[Jeremie11231]

That is basically how/why I got in a chastity device...
Just too hard to control without help.

[elina]

Thanks for coming back Anon.

Wonderful to see how you are gradually more and more accepting that cuckolding is turning you on and that you are now embracing your lovely Girlfriend cucking you.

In retrospect, doesn't it feel good that your Girlfriend is now dressing for Her fuckbuddy in front of you, having you help Her select the lingerie that will excite your friend Her bull? Also, must be really good for your Girlfriend to feel that you now actually want this and it is not Her pushing you into new things that She doesn't really know if you want or not.

It is completely understandable that you failed to stay on the edge, but induced a somewhat ruined orgasm. Just put it on the account of another experience that is worth having. Now you know what this will lead to and from your description it sounds like you will make an extra effort to not cum untill you are allowed to make love to your Girlfriend afterwards. Maybe time for you to think about playing with a chastity device, for your Girlfriend to lock you up before She starts selecting Her lingerie and then to release you before you are allowed to lick Her pussy? There are many aspects of this but one of them is that you are demonstrating your devotion to your girlfriend...

Sincerely
elina