Positives/concerns re: solo vacations with boyfriends?

[deffle]

Wife is going on a cruise with her BF.

There have been all-nighters in the past, but this is a first, so figured I'd get some feedback from members of the hive who are not exclusively in the "Hotties" section. Those (mostly) guys are great, but felt this would be better posted here in the discussion area.

Some background:

My babe (M) has been hotwifing for many years. She's been with her current boyfriend (P) for over 6 years. He lives half the year in Canada and half here in Florida. If it weren't for him not being here full-time, I would say we've moved from a simple hotwife scenario to something of a poly situation. None of us were trying for that, it's just kinda how it's worked out over time.

She has not been with anyone else but me since meeting him. Until recently, he would have girlfriends, two he lived with, but eventually would break it off, mostly because of M. Having a continuous relationship with her while trying to maintain a relationship with a local girlfriend wanting monogamy wasn't very practical, or even possible. I don't pry, but it doesn't seem he's with anyone now, at least not regularly. Kinda hard to hide a cruise from a significant other.

A few years into his and M's relationship he (we think quite purposefully) bought a townhouse right next to our community, so when he's here, they can date and fuck on a very regular basis. In fact, when he's in town, their frequency is way more than ours. Their combined sex drive is off the charts, especially his, so he'll get her 3, 5, 10 or more times per week to our single Saturday date-night. He fucks her, recovers immediately, then is ready for another round. Not just frequency and recovery, but stamina; When they're together, he is on her sexy little pussy for much longer each session, hence, at this point he's has way more time on it per month/year than me. She previously wasn't keen on long sessions, but I think all the consistancy and enthusiasm on his part has converted her. Good, consistant cock can have unusual effects on women.

Unlike early in our HWing, they are mostly solo. Occasionally we'll all get a hotel together, but only about once per year. Also unlike early on, there are no rules whatsoever. They date, kiss and screw whenever they decide. Their relationship has been on auto-pilot for several years now, needing no encouragement whatsoever from me.

They haven't used condoms since the very beginning. His sperm is live, mine is not, so she's on birth control, or she'd easily be pregnant by now. We have been careful, but there's always some risk. Ending a pregnancy would be out of the question for us, so her getting pregant from him would be a real-life disaster. Paradoxically however, unlike men she's been with before, she has said, striaght up, that she would definitely have his baby. He tells her all the time that he would love to give her a baby.

What's also changed over time is previously she would rule out dating in local places, either just going to a hotel, his place or opting for locations further away. Now it's more relaxed and they will often go hit local places. They're not flaunting it or anything, but considering their regularity, longevity and our daughter leaving for college, our guard has dropped considerably. Though M is still cautious. I personally, couldn't care less about getting "caught." I have zero embarrassment or ego issues.

Another former boundary broken is the attachment factor. IOW, he's crazy about her and tells her all the time. He tells her how much he loves her while they're making love, sometimes while he's actually coming inside her. Kinda mind-blowing to hear. You would think it should bother me, and it might have early on, but it doesn't at all. In fact, just the opposite. I love that he's that he loves her, is completely infatuated and that he treats her so well. They both say "I love you" in their texts all the time, which I think is awesome.

As for her feelings, she is somewhat more coy and clinical about it all, but of course being with someone so frequently for so long makes for a much tighter bond than a "bull" or fuckbuddy. She certainly loves his fat cock - which is obvious when watching them fuck, live or on video. She is certainly very "loving" to him when their together, that's just how she is. She treats her men well and is very giving. Before we were married, she was the BEST girlfriend a guy could have. In fact, that's the only aspect that I'm envious of. Having her as a girlfriend while she's married to me must be amazing.

So, back to the cruise. Not sure if there's a question in all this, but wondering what feedback the husbands, hotwives and boyfriends here on OHW might offer.

This is definitely new ground for all three of us. I had gotten quite used to their relationship, but this is different. They'll be a full-on couple next week, being together 24/7, coming and going, eating, holding hands in public. SLEEPING together every night and having all the sex they want, whenever and wherever they want. Not just HWing fantasies, but real couple stuff, for an extended period of time.

My heart pounds the closer we get, so much so that I could barely sleep last night. My heart pounds and my dick and balls have been absolutely on fire, random hardons all the time. I thought I was past the unmatched excitement and angst, but I haven't felt this excited and simultaneously nerve-racked since the very first time she fucked another man. Now, as then, I'm totally into it, but it.is.not.easy totally letting go like this. I'm going to need to keep myself busy while they're at sea.

Soooo, wondering if others here who've experienced similar can chime in. I had one hotwife here tell me vacationing with her BF was off-the-charts sexy. They pretended they were married and she absolutely loved it.

Any ideas, opinions advice?

[BallSpanking]

Hi Deffle,

Thanks for your post/update.
Funny, how after all this time you might still have niggling doubts about the extent of her involvement.

I think you are probably better positioned to determine the correct dynamic for your relationship.
First of all, M will have a determining vote on any present or future arrangement, but also her BF.
In a way, Deffle, I understand you are witnessing their relationship up-close, but you cannot know the extent of their feelings for each other.
All you have is your good will, your objective observations, and M's description of her feelings for him ...
But what you pointed out makes a compelling case.
The amount of time they spend making love compared to you and M, is off the charts.
My guess is that, whether M tells you this or not, she is very strongly bonded to him.
She makes herself available and sexy for him. She feels confident to be seen holding hands by your neighbors and friends.
Perhaps there is no point in asking her to express her views, since her actions are a clear expression of her desires, but, it will come up sooner or later.
There will be a friend or family who will ask her ... If she answers directly that he is her BF, that would make any remaining doubts disappear.

[Tryagain]

I just do not know why they have to go away together. Aren't you guys having fun already ? I guess i do not understand pushing wives to fall in love with another guy and always reinforcing that.

[ferrisandrews]

It would be interesting to hear her feedback when she's back. It's one thing to have sex with another guy a lot, it's quite another to be on a boat with him for an extended period of time. I'm also curious where you would like to go in your relationship. Would you prefer a Dom/sub relationship, be locked up, etc.? Or have you reached your destination and have no interest for anything to change?

[deffle]

The amount of time they spend making love compared to you and M, is off the charts.
My guess is that, whether M tells you this or not, she is very strongly bonded to him.
She makes herself available and sexy for him. She feels confident to be seen holding hands by your neighbors and friends.
Perhaps there is no point in asking her to express her views, since her actions are a clear expression of her desires, but, it will come up sooner or later.
There will be a friend or family who will ask her ... If she answers directly that he is her BF, that would make any remaining doubts disappear.

Of course she's bonded to him, they been having very good sex together, regularly, for a long time now. He lives right around the corner - they're about go on vacation together. She can be very loving with him, it's obvious in person and in their videos. On the other hand, she alreadly nearly broke up with him. She's 50, so even if she is "bonded" and becomes much more infatuated with him falling for someone is much different than when in one's 20s. And if that did happen, I doubt it would have much affect.on us. We'd probably go on as always, so I don't think I'd mind.

And she definitely would not "confident" (lol) being seen by people we know. In fact she'd probably be mortified. My point, which I was not clear on, was that early on she would *never go out in public. It's just that now her guard is just way lower and the situation is way more normalized at this point, especially with our daughter being away.

For my part, I could care less if they get "caught." For her it's nothing she wants, at all, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I just do not know why they have to go away together. Aren't you guys having fun already ? I guess i do not understand pushing wives to fall in love with another guy and always reinforcing that.

Thanks for the reply and good question.

And yes, correct they don't *have to* go away together, but they want to, and I also want them to, or it wouldn't be happening. Their relationship had gotten kinda stale and not going anywhere to the point she almost had broken up with him, and actually did do a "soft" breakup. One main issue for her was that just meeting at his townhouse was getting old. She felt like she was just doing booty calls, and that's not really her style.

He took it pretty hard. Shortly thereafter, I invited him to our club, which I posted about in the "Hotties" forum. I basically consulted with him as and inside on her feelings and what I knew. After that is when he started taking her out on more dates and doing more beyond just great sex at his place. He also felt me out on this cruise, to which I responded positively.

And to your point, I'm not pushing her to fall in love, at all. He's already in totally in love with her so there's that, but if she came home completelt head over heals, it would surprsing and would definately add a new demension, but ultimately would not bother me. Regardless of how close they get, she still comes home to me, cuddles up for streaming shows then sleeps with me every night. We still have datenight every Saturday, run our businesses and do our thing.

We have been together a long time and she has been a hotwife nearly our entire marriage. She handles it exceptionally well. Nothing about our daily life ever changes. During her's and P's 6 years together I have not for a minute felt any kind of apprehension, regret or drama... anything like that. Also, if I somehow, in some very unlikely scenario did have major reservations or worries, I could ask her to stop, and I'm pretty positive she would.

All that said, why should I want her, or him for that matter, going nowhere together and just doing booty calls at his place? If they break up, she'd either have to try playing the field again or not have a boyfriend at all. Not sure we'd wanna go back to either.

Sounds funny, I think it's great that he loves her and treats her the way he does. If she started loving him back - and I'm certain she does to a degree - I'd probably think that was great too, as opposed to them not loving each other, or getting bored with a purely sexual affair. Her happiness is mine as well.

Hope this makes sense.

It would be interesting to hear her feedback when she's back. It's one thing to have sex with another guy a lot, it's quite another to be on a boat with him for an extended period of time. I'm also curious where you would like to go in your relationship. Would you prefer a Dom/sub relationship, be locked up, etc.? Or have you reached your destination and have no interest for anything to change?

Yes it is quite different. We've done the HW thing for many years, and she's been with him for 6 years, but this is certainly a big step for all.

If it works out, they will probably be taking more trips together. She was a fitness instructor when we met, and has kept credentials current, mainly because she gets free accomodations from an international hospitality/resort company for giving classes. The problem is I never really care for the destinations nor, because of my previous work situation, do I like travel in general. In fact I don't like it, at all. I would actually be perfectly happy if he took that "duty" off my hands.

As to you other questions, no dom or sub issues and I like our relationship just the way it is. They are free to take theirs wherever they wish.

Thank you for the feedback.

[venus-can99]

Though I am not in the LS I found your questions and subsequent discussions very interesting. IMO the relationship among the 3 of you works well because of your complete trust in M.
As a side note M is 50? Seeing her pics in Hotties I thought she was maybe late 30s ….

[ferrisandrews]

...

The problem is I never really care for the destinations nor, because of my previous work situation, do I like travel in general. In fact I don't like it, at all. I would actually be perfectly happy if he took that "duty" off my hands.

...

I know what you mean! My wife loves to go to baseball games and had a bull for a little while that would take her (even pay). I don't really like baseball so his involvement had multiple benefits for me personally. We both genuinely miss him.

[deffle]

Though I am not in the LS I found your questions and subsequent discussions very interesting. IMO the relationship among the 3 of you works well because of your complete trust in M.
As a side note M is 50? Seeing her pics in Hotties I thought she was maybe late 30s ….

I think that's pretty much it. I totally trust her, because over the years she's proven to be trustworthy. She's stuck by me through thick and thin, and we've been through so much and accomplished so much together.

She's the love of my life.

I know what you mean! My wife loves to go to baseball games and had a bull for a little while that would take her (even pay). I don't really like baseball so his involvement had multiple benefits for me personally. We both genuinely miss him.

lol, funny.

I think about those meme's we see on social media "Name something everyone loves that you hate." I have a few, but travel is at the very top. I HATE nearly everything about traveling - airports, tours, being away from home/business, packing and lugging all your stuff around.

Part of the reason is, for my work I needed to travel to very distant places on a continual basis, so became very put off. I've also travelled a lot outside of work and with the military.

No need for me to experience new places, people cultures. I've seen almost all of it - I'm good. Also, I love my home and where I live and all the things I have going on.

If he takes her places or goes with her on her adventures I'm 100% fine with it. Good for her too.

[subtoall]

This trip is a fantastic development. It might open up some deep avenues for their increased intimacy and connection. For example, with your daughter away from the house now in school, I wonder if you might enjoy sending M to Canada for a week every once in a while so they can reconnect and not have to wait a full 6 months for him to return each year.

[deffle]

This trip is a fantastic development. It might open up some deep avenues for their increased intimacy and connection. For example, with your daughter away from the house now in school, I wonder if you might enjoy sending M to Canada for a week every once in a while so they can reconnect and not have to wait a full 6 months for him to return each year.

They wanted to make exactly that happen last year, but life and his last girlfriend had other plans. I think it's very likely to happen now, especially if he stays exclusive to M. She's ready.

I also think/hope this will be the first of many trips. She loves to travel and he loves having her all to himself.

[Late]

Of course there are increased risks to your marriage. But your history and track record would indicate there isn't THAT much risk. On the rewards side, it sounds like there are some real possibilities of benefits for all. He might finally get his fill. She might finally get HER fill. They get to enjoy travel while you get to enjoy not traveling. There are plenty of other potential benefits as well. Every successful marriage is unique. Yours is definitely unique. Yours sounds successful. What the hell. Go for it.

Late

[Her number1]

From all you've said and replied to in this thread, I see no reason for the three of you to not enjoy this.

[deffle]

From all you've said and replied to in this thread, I see no reason for the three of you to not enjoy this.

Thank you #1, input from someone like you is exactly why I started this thread.

And yes we all are enjoying it very much. Took me a minute to wrap my head around it because it's unlike anything we've done, but wow.

Has Farmgirl gone on trips with any of her men? If so, would love to hear your thoughts.

[Her number1]

From all you've said and replied to in this thread, I see no reason for the three of you to not enjoy this.

Thank you #1, input from someone like you is exactly why I started this thread.

And yes we all are enjoying it very much. Took me a minute to wrap my head around it because it's unlike anything we've done, but wow.

Has Farmgirl gone on trips with any of her men? If so, would love to hear your thoughts.

Years ago, when we were new to this, she hated cum in her mouth and absolutely would not swallow.
Then she had a lover that she wanted to go away with for a weekend, so she came up with the idea, " I'll enthusiastically suck you till you cum in my mouth, show it to you, and then swallow, and it won't be a one time thing."
She had made up her mind that she wanted that trip .
Even then, I had the same internal questions you had.
I had no reqrets!

[bbarnsworth]

Deffle, I can't comment in specific about the scenario of your wife going on a cruise with her boyfriend. My wife has never done something like that with either of her boyfriends. I talked about this scenario with my wife, and how she would feel if it were me going off on a cruise with my girlfriend. She said she wouldn't like it; it'd feel unbalanced, and would feel like she's being left out. For my part, I'd be ok with her doing something like this. It'd help to get the updates you're getting, seeing the videos you're seeing.

I absolutely adore my wife having sex with other men. Part of this though is that my relationship is intensely close with her. The compersion is real, and I relish her enjoyment in doing this. So, going on a cruise would be an extension of this.

I've watched a number of videos that you've posted erome. It is an absolute treat to see how much your wife is so thoroughly enjoying herself and her boyfriend. Her obvious delight is absolutely erotic. You have a special gift in your wife embracing this, having a boyfriend and having you as her husband. You are very, very fortunate!

A word of caution though; you note that her getting pregnant would be a real-life disaster. There are some men here who feel like this would be the ultimate in cuckoldry, having their wives get pregnant by their bulls. I don't see that here. As you note, it's more like a poly triad. Anyway; back to the word of caution. Hormonal birth control will fail. It's a matter of time. I think you and your wife should strongly consider a tubal ligation. My wife did this, and was gloriously happy for it. It was after she had that done that her first boyfriend came into the picture and she could have bareback sex with him all the time. While having his baby might feel wonderful in some ways, doing so would have significant impact on their love life. Also consider the child's perspective in this. Eventually, they will need to know.