Would you organise a bar hook up?

[brisfun1980]

My wife is at the stage of wanting to meet someone socially but she's also aprehensive about organising something like a coffee or drink meet up. She says it would feel too awkward. She is more comfortable with an environment like a bar where she might get hit on and flirted with .. however we live in country Ireland (hr from Dublin) and know nothing about the city and where to meet people, and we've been together for so long she says she has no pick up game anymore

The closest we came to something was a swinger social event organised on fabswingers and we had arranged to meet a guy, but he flaked out on us. The social was a bit of a sleazy setup as well and we're not going back.

So my question is, would you organise with a guy to meet her at a bar to flirt and try to pick her up? I am absolutely aware of how 'behind the back' this may be, but I would be up front with her and tell her that I had organised for someone to meet her. She would feel more comfortable with this then going to a bar and standing around waiting for someone to approach her.

[MartasBoy]

My wife is at the stage of wanting to meet someone socially but she's also apprehensive..........

....and we've been together for so long she says she has no pick up game anymore .....

We have had luck with her getting picked up at Major hotels that have conference centers, in big cities. We have done this in Chicago, St louis, Atlanta, Minneapolis and others.

If you go when there is a large sales conference, Medical convention, or anything of that sort. My wife will dress sexy but elegant and will find a place at the bar, in the late afternoon, just before the conference convenes for the evening. Usually convention attendees will go to the bar for a drink after a day of conference meetings. I sit at a table where I can watch from a distance.

They are often single or married men, from out of town, away from their day-to-day life. They may wonder if she is a high price call girl. When they approach her and ask her if she is drinking alone, she will tell them that she was there to meet a girlfriend, but just got a text message that her girlfriend is unable to make it, and she decided to stay and finish her drink. They will usually offer to buy her another, and will ask if they can visit with her.

As far as feeling like she is off her game, a woman in this world really doesn't have to do very much. We men are pretty driven to seek out encounters. Most men do most of the work of keeping the interaction going. I imagine she will easily slip right back into old habits of being able to make conversation to entice a man. And if she is shy and nervous, that works just as well as being confident in more aggressively flirtatious. It doesn't matter to men. They're looking for a connection, and are willing to do the work to keep conversation going.

[brisfun1980]

Thank you for your reply!

It seems easy but as a wannabe couple the idea is daunting. I am not sure how busy Dublin can get with conferences and the like. It just doesn't have that same vibe that some of the American cities have when it comes to hotel bars, conference centres, etc - or we're just inexperienced.

I always forget how easy it is for a woman to pick someone up and I think my wife has as well. She needs to be reminded!

[Long Lurker 34]

BF1980
- If she wants to meet and flirt with someone she should always consider the 'everyday' events, and yes I realize you live in a more rural area. So going shopping there can be the opportunity to do a little practice light flirting without letting things get too deep and suggestive. Plus you have a built in advantage being Irish in that you guys have quite a ways with words.

[firef503]

Not necessarily a bar hook up but I've arranged things with husband before to meet the wife seemingly organically. It's typically after they have talked and she said she's open to it but wants things to happen "naturally." But sometimes when you wait for nature to happen you wait forever. Esepcially a more introverted woman that doesn't veer very far off her normal routine.

[bighelmet]

I've always struggled with how to approach the topic of hotwifing with my wife of 12 years - I have often thought that having someone else bring up the topic might be the way to go (at a bar, or wherever) - then see how she reacts and looks to me for MY reaction... ease into it that way. It's a delicate balance between respecting her comfort and exploring our mutual fantasies. Currently, she has no idea about my interest in this, so I'm considering how to gently introduce the idea. I appreciate the insights shared here, especially the idea of using conferences or social events as a starting point. It takes the pressure off both of us and creates a more natural setting for these interactions. Has anyone else tried this approach, and if so, what were your experiences? I'm curious to hear more about how others have navigated this journey and any tips for making it a positive experience for both partners, especially when one partner is initially unaware of the other's fantasies. Maybe even finding a young stud in a hotel bar who brags about his size could be an interesting way to gauge her curiosity.

[John Ryan]

We started out as friends at college. She was Bisexual so in the beginning once we became comfortable with one another she introduced me to her bisexual women friends for 3 ways. As time passed we did 3 ways with her bisexual male friends. It progressed to her branching out to men on her own with me on the sidelines. We had lots of fun. It was so erotic seeing her with another man. Made me so hard.