Affair Games

[Parsifal]

Here's an affair game Gala proposed tonight over wine and dinner. She's don't ask, don't tell for a month. Then at the end of the month, we have a tell-all date. So for a month, she might end up with nothing to report, or it might have been flirting with someone at the gym, or maybe she'll have met someone for wine, or it could even be sex. The tell-all is like a submarine surfacing to recharge batteries. After the tell-all, the submarine submerges again and it's don't ask, don't tell for another month, til the next time she resurfaces. Monthly cycles til we say enough.

[regular3]

That sounds like fun for both of you.
Will your affair radar be heightened to try catch her out or do you go the other way and it's business as usual.
You've said previously that she is really good at this game.

[Parsifal]

That sounds like fun for both of you.
Will your affair radar be heightened to try catch her out or do you go the other way and it's business as usual.
You've said previously that she is really good at this game.

I'm too distracted by work usually to have much of a radar. And yes, she sets it up seamlessly so I don't catch her. For me, what will seem different is getting a monthly peek at an ongoing set of story lines, like watching one episode of a miniseries every month, savoring it rather than binge watching all at once.

[54321]

What fun!

54321

[toshare]

Thats so very sexy. My wife and I have a similar agreement. She is allowed to cheat , only rule no family and none of my fiends. She does have to tell me after a month from the first time shes cheated if I ask her to, though she does not have to if I dont ask. If its been over a month,she wont have to tell me ever if she does not want to. ITs wild how much we as men miss and yes, my wife has cheated on me

[ursamajor69]

On the flip side, she has made it entirely clear that if she ever did have sex with another guy, she would never tell him that it was with my permission or as part of a hotwife thing. In her mind, it is "too awkward" to have that conversation, so she would frame all of this as an affair to the other guy. I guess from an external optics perspective, playing the role of a cheating wife is the easier option for her. Thus she would be playing the "affair game" for her play buddy.

Don't see that as any kind of a flip side. In our book it's the hottest way to do it. He thinks she's risking all to be with him. Just makes her seem hotter. Always this way for us.

You are quite right. The furtive and risky side of things is certainly very hot! My wife goes out on dates (intimate lunches and dinners) with single guys fairly regularly. Waiting at home to see if this is the time she returns home with cum soaked panties is the most exquisite feeling.

I would love it if she went all the way while pretending it was all cheating. Even more, I would really love to see her "in action" with my own eyes. However, given the choice of either the first, or nothing at all, I would choose the first in a heartbeat!

[Long Lurker 34]

On the flip side, she has made it entirely clear that if she ever did have sex with another guy, she would never tell him that it was with my permission or as part of a hotwife thing. In her mind, it is "too awkward" to have that conversation, so she would frame all of this as an affair to the other guy. I guess from an external optics perspective, playing the role of a cheating wife is the easier option for her. Thus she would be playing the "affair game" for her play buddy.

Don't see that as any kind of a flip side. In our book it's the hottest way to do it. He thinks she's risking all to be with him. Just makes her seem hotter. Always this way for us.

You are quite right. The furtive and risky side of things is certainly very hot! My wife goes out on dates (intimate lunches and dinners) with single guys fairly regularly. Waiting at home to see if this is the time she returns home with cum soaked panties is the most exquisite feeling.

I would love it if she went all the way while pretending it was all cheating. Even more, I would really love to see her "in action" with my own eyes. However, given the choice of either the first, or nothing at all, I would choose the first in a heartbeat!

UM69
- Pretending to you or her seducer?

[shamed411bee]

Someone asked earlier “So, this is just a mindfuck, right?” There was no reply.

Can/could/should this all be a charade? Perhaps just enough “cheating” (a dinner date, a dance, a kiss) to prime the pump?

[BCiym]

I don't know if what Karen and I have can be defined as a game. We've always regarded her adultery as her private life. Sometimes she talks about it with me, sometimes not. She once told me that being in bed with another man and knowing that I'm thinking of it is a turn off. I have no wisdom to offer others, I can only say that my cuckolding is about accepting that she's going to do what she wants.

[Parsifal]

I don't know if what Karen and I have can be defined as a game. We've always regarded her adultery as her private life. Sometimes she talks about it with me, sometimes not. She once told me that being in bed with another man and knowing that I'm thinking of it is a turn off. I have no wisdom to offer others, I can only say that my cuckolding is about accepting that she's going to do what she wants.

I wouldn't characterize your style of play with Karen as a "game," either. Your situation reminds me of the marital dynamic Dolly Parten had with her late husband, an open marriage in which the wife's sovereignty is understood by the couple to include a degree of privacy or distancing from her marriage in pursuit of her outside sex life, which borders on don't ask-don't tell. Sometimes tell, sometimes not, whatever she decides. A "game" aspect is mostly missing from your arrangement because she having separate spaces in which to be married and have erotic sex. A game dynamic is activated to the extent it proceeds as a form of role play or simulation, for the purpose of facilitating her exploration of situations that arouse her both when enacted in a private dimension and then later when merged into food for marital intimacy.

I assume your "acceptance" of the arrangement you have with Karen still arouses you. Even if she doesn't share it with you as much as you might prefer, it's still a major turn on to fuck your wife knowing what you know about her real, complete self.

[Parsifal]

My May 26 post describes the affair game G and I currently play. Each month she's allowed to explore privately (lie and cheat), at the end of which she tells all. She also has a few regular relationships in the open with me that she's finally reactivated after a lengthy post-op quiescence.
.
June was mostly uneventful but she did have two social media contacts, one from a neighbor and another from a recently divorced high school boyfriend who looked her up on LinkedIn.

The neighbor is a junior high coach, married, who's close friends with one of G's sisters. His wife once had a reputation for being the neighborhood slut and homewrecker, and part of the gossip we'd heard was that the coach and she were in a hotwife lifestyle. Later we'd heard they renewed their vows and she'd developed a serious illness which killed their sex life.

The LinkedIn guy was totally a blast from the past. One of our game boundaries is that she can't have an "affair" with a past lover. But as some of you know, we're both lawyers and understand how and when contract modification is in the best interest of all concerned. G and I frequently talk about some of the postings I read here on OHW about wives who have sex with old boyfriends or even ex-spouses to good effect, so the idea of that isn't totally beyond the pale, as it were. More perhaps later...

[BCiym]

I don't know if what Karen and I have can be defined as a game. We've always regarded her adultery as her private life. Sometimes she talks about it with me, sometimes not. She once told me that being in bed with another man and knowing that I'm thinking of it is a turn off. I have no wisdom to offer others, I can only say that my cuckolding is about accepting that she's going to do what she wants.

I wouldn't characterize your style of play with Karen as an "game," either. Your situation reminds me of the marital dynamic Dolly Parten had with her late husband, an open marriage in which the wife's sovereignty is understood by the couple to include a degree of privacy or distancing from her marriage in pursuit of her outside sex life, which borders on don't ask-don't tell. Sometimes tell, sometimes not, whatever she decides. A "game" aspect is mostly missing from your arrangement because she having separate spaces in which to be married and have erotic sex. A game dynamic is activated to the extent it proceeds as a form of role play or simulation, for the purpose of facilitating her exploration of situations that arouse her both when enacted in a private dimension and then later when merged into food for marital intimacy.

I assume your "acceptance" of the arrangement you have with Karen still arouses you. Even if she doesn't share it with you as much as you might prefer, it's still a major turn on to fuck your wife knowing what you know about her real, complete self.

I think of it as a corner of her life that’s hers alone — and it arouses me more than I can say.

[BCiym]

I don't know if what Karen and I have can be defined as a game. We've always regarded her adultery as her private life. Sometimes she talks about it with me, sometimes not. She once told me that being in bed with another man and knowing that I'm thinking of it is a turn off. I have no wisdom to offer others, I can only say that my cuckolding is about accepting that she's going to do what she wants.

I wouldn't characterize your style of play with Karen as an "game," either. Your situation reminds me of the marital dynamic Dolly Parten had with her late husband, an open marriage in which the wife's sovereignty is understood by the couple to include a degree of privacy or distancing from her marriage in pursuit of her outside sex life, which borders on don't ask-don't tell. Sometimes tell, sometimes not, whatever she decides. A "game" aspect is mostly missing from your arrangement because she having separate spaces in which to be married and have erotic sex. A game dynamic is activated to the extent it proceeds as a form of role play or simulation, for the purpose of facilitating her exploration of situations that arouse her both when enacted in a private dimension and then later when merged into food for marital intimacy.

I assume your "acceptance" of the arrangement you have with Karen still arouses you. Even if she doesn't share it with you as much as you might prefer, it's still a major turn on to fuck your wife knowing what you know about her real, complete self.

I think of it as a corner of her life that’s hers alone — and it arouses me more than I can say.

After seeing your message I read about Dolly Parton's marriage and the way it was described was that she became emotionally involved with another man, but it never became sexual.

[Parsifal]

I don't know if what Karen and I have can be defined as a game. We've always regarded her adultery as her private life. Sometimes she talks about it with me, sometimes not. She once told me that being in bed with another man and knowing that I'm thinking of it is a turn off. I have no wisdom to offer others, I can only say that my cuckolding is about accepting that she's going to do what she wants.

I wouldn't characterize your style of play with Karen as an "game," either. Your situation reminds me of the marital dynamic Dolly Parten had with her late husband, an open marriage in which the wife's sovereignty is understood by the couple to include a degree of privacy or distancing from her marriage in pursuit of her outside sex life, which borders on don't ask-don't tell. Sometimes tell, sometimes not, whatever she decides. A "game" aspect is mostly missing from your arrangement because she having separate spaces in which to be married and have erotic sex. A game dynamic is activated to the extent it proceeds as a form of role play or simulation, for the purpose of facilitating her exploration of situations that arouse her both when enacted in a private dimension and then later when merged into food for marital intimacy.

I assume your "acceptance" of the arrangement you have with Karen still arouses you. Even if she doesn't share it with you as much as you might prefer, it's still a major turn on to fuck your wife knowing what you know about her real, complete self.

I think of it as a corner of her life that’s hers alone — and it arouses me more than I can say.

After seeing your message I read about Dolly Parton's marriage and the way it was described was that she became emotionally involved with another man, but it never became sexual.

The story of Dolly Parten's marriage is told in several different versions. The emotional affair is but one. I wasn't there with a lit candle to bear witness, obviously, and I understand she's private about it publicly. Same for Will and Jada Smith. Gossip abounds that they've played that way too. Who's really to say. The point is that 1) lots of fine upstanding people have affairs and some even make affairs a way of life, 2) one coping mechanism for spousal infidelity is to turn a blind eye to it if the marriage is otherwise functional or even happy, 3) the "blind eye" (and various degrees thereof) can be an openly negotiated term of a marital relationship.

Admittedly, for some in the Lifestyle, hide-and-seek games of this sort will always be an anathema, because absolute transparency is a fundamental feature of the intimacy these couples are looking to achieve. I get that. However, I also understand the appeal of injecting a dose of mystery into a marriage, which revives a sense of newness about one's spouse that gets lost with years of dulling hyperfamiliarity. The psychology of the reclaim is a case in point. Reclaim sex to me feels like a feast because I'm reabsorbing my wife's being that was temporarily lost to me. And when we play an affair game in which she's lost to me for an extended period, the lovemaking I have with her feels as if I can never get enough of her. My imagination fills in the gaps in ways that magnifies my lust for her. I'm understanding your marriage in this light, as well as my understanding of the version of Dolly's marriage I used to illustrate my idea

[Hungdaddynyc]

When I was in my 20’s I worked at a school. I was the tech guy and I was still going to university. There was this one secretary. Nerdy and very skinny. One day she starts teasing me that she’ll fuck me. The time I ended up calling her bluff her husband comes by. We were in the front office at the end of the day. She hushed me away and it was just awkward I caught her husbands eyes. I figured that was the end of that. I don't want to go into too much detail but she made it known it wasn’t off the table and well. We had an affair. Later I learned her husband knew and it had to end. I liked it a lot.

[Parsifal]

At the end of each month Gala tells tales of any affairs of that month. We had that ceremony again tonight. This time she opened with, "I had sex this month with someone new." We spent dinner digesting the whole escapade, after which I reclaimed her to Q & A over the details. She loves how naughty hot it is to run free in the neighborhood like that. Proximity to a recently divorced man could be edgy for us all.

So next month this time I'll get the next episode.of the season.

[Carlbiinchicago]

This is a really interesting thread and i agree the “affair” aspect of it may make things alot hotter for women

[Husband7]

I could probably get into my wife doing this in some capacity, but I feel like we know one another's schedules and tendencies so well that I would immediately know what she was up to and there would be no "mystery."

But it does sound exciting. I'm picturing her coming home from her "girls night" when she was supposed to be dancing, and jumping in the shower when she got back to wash the evidence away. That would be hot as hell.

[Parsifal]

I could probably get into my wife doing this in some capacity, but I feel like we know one another's schedules and tendencies so well that I would immediately know what she was up to and there would be no "mystery."

But it does sound exciting. I'm picturing her coming home from her "girls night" when she was supposed to be dancing, and jumping in the shower when she got back to wash the evidence away. That would be hot as hell.

You've hit on the essence of the game - restore magic mystery to marital relationship in which overfamiliarity can make things too predictable. If your lifestyle makes it nearly impossible for her to sneak around, or if she's just not very good at covering her tracks, then it's gonna be a lot more challenging to set up that kind of role play.

I work mostly at home and my wife's gainful employment has tapered down mostly to handling the accounting function of our business, which puts her at home a lot too. It works, however, because she's always out and about and a sneak by nature. I get so focused up in my office writing legal briefs that hours pass before I'm even aware she's out, and when she returns, she's always got a perfect excuse for her whereabouts. She's attired for attention everywhere she goes so she shows no "tendencies" in that regard.

Part of the game is an understanding that I won't look too closely. We both know that in an age of affordable electronic surveillance, I could, of course, catch her if I were so inclined. But that would spoil the fun. And there are times when she walks in with that tell-tale starry eyed look that signals her endorphins are in overdrive, which in turn triggers suspicion on my part. But I tend to overlook it or utter some innuendo that puts her on the spot and prompts the "lie" which for me is a major turn on. I've always been turned on by cheating women. So this game facilitates a mutual kink, not just hers.

[Parsifal]

Gala and I had our monthly reveal date last Friday night, a week ago. That was her third month into our game. She had a second sex date with her new affair guy, whom I'll call M. He's a divorced man with two teenage daughters of whom he shares custody with his ex. He travels often. During August, too, she saw one of her regular guys, the Beaumont cowboy, weekly. So in all she got laid five times in August.

During reclaim sex last Friday night, she confessed to me that she wants to experience a "torrid" affair. I encouraged her to imagine that happening as she built her orgasm. It was an idea I wanted visualize and layer over the image of her beneath me, because the cathexis is irrepressible when we both cum together, or almost together, to the same idea, maybe her then me right after, so none of the immediacy of her building, peaking, and resolving will be lost to memory.

[regular3]

Can you please provide her definition of torrid?

[Parsifal]

Can you please provide her definition of torrid?

Intensely passionate, hot stuff of which she can't get enough.

Your Q prompted a dig into the etymology of "torrid" - Latin: torridus "dried by exposure to heat, parched, scorched". So think of it as a drying heat, as an oven heat that cools as it wicks wet passion out of her system just before cooler days start to seep in. Think of it as the grand finale of a fireworks display.

[toshare]

So, one where she desires this man that she risks even more? What is it she and you would like for it to come about in the torrid affair?

My wife and I enjoy her having affairs,too. We have where she tells /comes clean every 3 months but does not have to tell if thats all the men, of that 3 months, only of the men / man she has seen for all of those 3 months. She gets a 1, im not going to tell you the answer to that question, and I get 1 you have to tell me over the 3 months.

She was out of town on business last few days, she did tell me (as they were not affairs per-say and bc sometimes she just tells me about her adventures) that she kissed a guy Tuesday night as he walked her to hotel, and made out some in hotel bar, but she didnt invite him up. Hes a pro-ish tennis player and people would ask him for his autograph. And she last night ( stayed extra night for fun) went out looking sexy and has only confessed she did meet a guy, and has several new guys numbers, along w the fact shed tell some Im a cuckold, others she played the "cheating wife". Last text she sent me last night was at 12:50 am our time/ 10:50 pm her time. It was a big trip

I still dont have much details yet. Shes on way home today.

[Parsifal]

So, one where she desires this man that she risks even more? What is it she and you would like for it to come about in the torrid affair?

We both want to fuel up on new relationship energy. We trust she's able to compartmentalize her feelings sufficiently well that the risk factor, though augmented, remains manageable for us.

There's a scene in The Odyssey when Odysseus has his crew tie him to the mast so he can listen to the sirens' song while the crew, whose ears are stuffed with beeswax and can't hear a thing, row past. Odysseus was the wisest of the Greeks for a reason. Wisdom comes to those with courage see (or in the siren parable, hear) some of Life's most exquisite dangers. Prayer helps. The Gods gave us lust to enjoy it.

[Parsifal]

[She] has several new guys numbers, along w the fact shed tell some Im a cuckold, others she played the "cheating wife"

My wife's relations vary like this too. Each of those alternatives creates a different dynamic for her.