Hey! I’m new!

[xelfor7]

As this board would imply, I’m new here! Being completely honest, this whole thing is totally new to me and not something I’ve ever thought about at all. Honestly, I’ve only ever considered being in a monogamous relationship and the idea of being shared is a completely foreign idea to me.

About a month ago, my husband brought this idea up to me and admitted to me that me being a hot wife is something he would find to be incredibly arousing. Admittedly the idea scares me, and we haven’t discussed it at any length really, outside of him presenting the idea to me and implying he would like there to be a degree of roughness to it. Again, until this point I never would have thought he’d want something like this in a million years.

A little about is, I am a 26 year old woman and my husband is 28. We met in college and dates for a couple years before getting married. At no point during any of that did I get the idea he would be into a thing like this, but apparently he is. Until a month ago as I said, he’s always been extremely protective of me and we’ve always agreed how cheating is something that would be a deal breaker for both of us. I’ve never considered cheating but it’s just one of those things that’s discussed in a “I don’t know how people stay together after that” type of thing, not a “would you leave me if I cheated?” type of thing.

Anyway, this has been brought up and I feel blind sided. I’ve read other places that this is something that can be used to spice up a bedroom, and being honest our sex probably is vanilla, but it’s not like he doesn’t like it. I thought he was satisfied at least. This might be TMI, but we’ve been having sex without a condom for quite some time, and I’m more than willing to give him head and everything that comes with that. We also have sex frequently, around 1-2 times a week, which I’ve always thought has satisfied him.

I realize this is long but please understand how blindsided I was by this. I am feeling a little betrayed and have hopefully joined this message board to learn more about this lifestyle. At this point, I don’t know if I’d say I’m particularly open to the idea. But I feel like it would be extremely unfair to him to not at least try and understand it.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum xelfor7. He probably is completely satisfied and he would protect you to his death. He is just wanting you to have more fun. It is really an opportunity for you that he is going to be turned on by. It should lead to more sex. Better sex and probably you will both learn ways of enjoying sex that you hadn't even thought of yet.

[xelfor7]

Welcome to the forum xelfor7. He probably is completely satisfied and he would protect you to his death. He is just wanting you to have more fun. It is really an opportunity for you that he is going to be turned on by. It should lead to more sex. Better sex and probably you will both learn ways of enjoying sex that you hadn't even thought of yet.

I do appreciate all of that and thank you for the response! But really I mean it’s just so out of nowhere I feel bad for making him want that. The idea of him wanting it to be rough is a little concerning too since that’s never been incorporated in our sex lives to this point.

In terms of leading to more sex, I’m really happy with how much were currently having and I thought he was too. I also thought it was good too, so if he’s wanting better sex like you said that makes me feel like I’m not doing enough of a good job.

Also, I’m really wondering how women who aren’t sure about this lifestyle really get past the idea of sleeping with another man. I can’t even really imagine that at this point. I’m sorry if I’m sounding difficult, I’m really not trying to be.

[leggysman]

It's tough for people to open up about their hidden desires, especially when they're not socially 'normal'. A lot of people can't understand a man wanting to share his wife. He hid this part of himself, and then finally opened up to you. That's a trusting thing to do, and you should feel good about that. Whether or not you ever decide to take him up on it. Way too many spouses are too fearful, or feel too much shame, to talk honestly about their out-there fantasies and desires. This is not a betrayal at all. On the contrary: congratulations!

There are lots of us men who are just like your husband, as I'm sure you'll discover from reading this site (with its 100K+ members, the majority of them men). It's actually an extremely common fantasy, even if most men never get comfortable enough with it to try and make it happen. But here you can also read posts from plenty of happy wives in loving marriages, who get to enjoy extra-spicy sex lives. Lots of us who do this, also feel like our marriages are made stronger by all of the honest communication, and the next-level bond that can create.

Welcome. As a friend of mine here rhetorically asked: where else can you find a whole community of men who are so absolutely devoted to, and so thrilled by their own wives?

[wjp]

just my opinion that is not worth much. sex 1-2 times per day i would call frequent at you age .at least as an older guy is how i recall it. at 70 i like it more often than twice a week.late due to 502

[joel68]

You said your ages. Can you please describe you guys.

Your husband: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, physique

You: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, measurements if you know them

That would give all of us a visual.

And you said you have pretty vanilla sex but your husband wants you to get it rough. I assume he doesn't care to do that himself or have the ability to do that. But he wants to see you really fucked hard. Is that correct? If so, it sounds pretty hot.

[Restarting]

As this board would imply, I’m new here! Being completely honest, this whole thing is totally new to me and not something I’ve ever thought about at all. Honestly, I’ve only ever considered being in a monogamous relationship and the idea of being shared is a completely foreign idea to me.

About a month ago, my husband brought this idea up to me and admitted to me that me being a hot wife is something he would find to be incredibly arousing. Admittedly the idea scares me, and we haven’t discussed it at any length really, outside of him presenting the idea to me and implying he would like there to be a degree of roughness to it. Again, until this point I never would have thought he’d want something like this in a million years.

A little about is, I am a 26 year old woman and my husband is 28. We met in college and dates for a couple years before getting married. At no point during any of that did I get the idea he would be into a thing like this, but apparently he is. Until a month ago as I said, he’s always been extremely protective of me and we’ve always agreed how cheating is something that would be a deal breaker for both of us. I’ve never considered cheating but it’s just one of those things that’s discussed in a “I don’t know how people stay together after that” type of thing, not a “would you leave me if I cheated?” type of thing.

Anyway, this has been brought up and I feel blind sided. I’ve read other places that this is something that can be used to spice up a bedroom, and being honest our sex probably is vanilla, but it’s not like he doesn’t like it. I thought he was satisfied at least. This might be TMI, but we’ve been having sex without a condom for quite some time, and I’m more than willing to give him head and everything that comes with that. We also have sex frequently, around 1-2 times a week, which I’ve always thought has satisfied him.

I realize this is long but please understand how blindsided I was by this. I am feeling a little betrayed and have hopefully joined this message board to learn more about this lifestyle. At this point, I don’t know if I’d say I’m particularly open to the idea. But I feel like it would be extremely unfair to him to not at least try and understand it.

Your willingness to understand explains a lot about why he trusts you enough to speak freely. I know the idea is completely foreign to you but can you imagine if the roles were reversed, and you wanted to explore the lifestyle. It might be difficult to raise the topic with him, wouldn't it? What would his reaction be? It would be much safer to avoid the risk of rejection or ridicule and keep it to yourself.

He has demonstrated immense trust in you by sharing his fantasy. I'm sure you'll find many will say the foundation of a successful marital relationship is trust. It's certainly a key to the lifestyle.

The lifestyle is multifaceted. A single definition of what it entails doesn't exist. It is what you and your husband decide it to be.

There's the aforementioned trust aspect. That includes overcoming any fear of abandonment or loss, too. If that is a concern of yours, it's a great place to begin an earnest consideration of what the lifestyle would mean to both of you.

There's a social/moral aspect, like cheating. Cheating requires secrecy and deception. Consenting spouses can mutually modify their vows as they wish, no differently than when they wrote their original vows. As for people that might judge you harshly, this subject is no more anyone's business than anything else that goes on behind your bedroom door.

There is actually a bonding aspect that you might find surprising. In my opinion, the journey is meant to be taken together. To be able to share in your joyful experiences will be your husband's joy. He will relish in your afterglow and feel disappointment if your experience isn't better than exceptional.

The main thing is that the lifestyle is all about you. You have the freedom. You make the decisions. You broaden your experiences and learn more about yourself. All the while you have a loving husband who wants the best for you.

At least that's how I feel.

Best of luck to both of you.

[wjp]

xelfor7 i gave an opinion .most replies are from guys .there is a ladies lounge to get more a women's prospective . you have to get verified for the ladies lounge to keep guys out. the admin does that.

[Wantsomefunto]

Hope
There is more from you coming soon

[Hotwife Carla]

Hello everyone my name is Carla and I love to cuckold my husband Danny. I have plenty of stories to share and actually plenty of pictures but this place is for stories.

[wjp]

Hotwife Carla you need to start your own thread. the hotties section allows pictures.. go to new members forums page click on new topic. for pics go to hotties forum /new topic.hope this helps

[njprofessor]

hello
thank you for sharing.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. I work with many couples and what you are doing is outstanding. What your husband needs the most is someone who will just listen to him and his needs. You did that. So thats a huge win for you. In terms of his actual desires, I think the best course of action is to just talk to him about it

here are a few questions I would recommend.
1. how long have you had these desires? is this new or long standing?
2. what do you think about me being with someone else? Like emotionally?
3. do you think you're really ready for the reality of this?
4. would you like to "test" this out before going beyond the point of no return?

[RetiredSnowbird]

Aside from feeling blindsided and perhaps disappointed in your husband for not being like other men, one thing I haven’t really heard is whether the thought of being with another man secretly appeals to you. If it should ever become a reality, you should do it more for yourself than for him. When I said your husband is not like other men, it’s not entirely true. While I don’t have solid research data to back me up, his fantasy is probably shared by untold millions of men in the English speaking world. The thing is, most of those men are afraid to say what they really want.

The fact that he shared his fantasy with you suggests to me that he trusts you to at least give serious thought to having sex with other men. If the idea appeals to you but you fear some of the unknown factors, then be honest with him. Many wives fear that it’s going to be used as an excuse by the husband to have an affair of his own. Or they’re afraid that family, friends and neighbors will find out. Or they’re afraid that may pick up an STD from the other man. Or get pregnant. Nevertheless, those problems can be overcome. There are ways to gradually approach this suggestion of his. But, again, you need to tell him if the thought secretly appeals to you. In which case you can start with some great fantasies between the two of you and decide if you want to eventually go ahead. Also, please get yourself verified and start chatting with other hot wives. There’s a huge body of knowledge and experience you can draw upon to decide. How far you want to go with hotwifing. Or not. Good luck.

[slenderfish]

I second the suggestion that you ask your husband how long he has been keeping this desire to himself. The reason is that I (we?) suspect it's something that has been inside of him for a long time, and he finally got the guts to reveal his desire to you. Finally fully revealed himself, based on his trust of you.

I went through the same thing with my wife SW.

Upon reflection of my own process with SW, I came to realize that I had years of getting my head around the concept of hotwife and plenty of times running scenarios in my head, etc. Became very comfortable and accepting of it. Over the course of years.

The contrast is that my wife SW (and it sounds like you are in a similar situation) now have it thrust upon you and it's all very new and surprising and uncomfortable and everything else. You need the benefit of time and understanding, but of course your husband doesn't realize this.

[xelfor7]

It's tough for people to open up about their hidden desires, especially when they're not socially 'normal'. A lot of people can't understand a man wanting to share his wife. He hid this part of himself, and then finally opened up to you. That's a trusting thing to do, and you should feel good about that. Whether or not you ever decide to take him up on it. Way too many spouses are too fearful, or feel too much shame, to talk honestly about their out-there fantasies and desires. This is not a betrayal at all. On the contrary: congratulations!

There are lots of us men who are just like your husband, as I'm sure you'll discover from reading this site (with its 100K+ members, the majority of them men). It's actually an extremely common fantasy, even if most men never get comfortable enough with it to try and make it happen. But here you can also read posts from plenty of happy wives in loving marriages, who get to enjoy extra-spicy sex lives. Lots of us who do this, also feel like our marriages are made stronger by all of the honest communication, and the next-level bond that can create.

Welcome. As a friend of mine here rhetorically asked: where else can you find a whole community of men who are so absolutely devoted to, and so thrilled by their own wives?

I think really I’m just trying to work on understanding why he thinks that way. I never once got the impression that he wanted to share me with other men, and we have always had a good sex life as far as I thought at least. He never seemed upset or disappointed, even though we definitely had a vanilla lifestyle. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that by the way. I’m NOT trying to shame him in any way, I just want to understand.

[xelfor7]

You said your ages. Can you please describe you guys.

Your husband: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, physique

You: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, measurements if you know them

That would give all of us a visual.

And you said you have pretty vanilla sex but your husband wants you to get it rough. I assume he doesn't care to do that himself or have the ability to do that. But he wants to see you really fucked hard. Is that correct? If so, it sounds pretty hot.

Hi yes. My husband is 6’2”, 197lbs, dark blonde hair, blue eyes, and a average to moderately athletic body

I am 5’3”, 102lbs, long light blonde hair, blue eye, and in good shape.

Yes, as far as I know, which admittedly isn’t much, his specific fantasy is me having rough sex with 2 men that are not him. We have never had rough sex and it’s somewhat embarrassing to admit I don’t really know what it is other than “fucked hard” as you said I guess. As I said in other replies I just really want to understand where he’s coming front.

[xelfor7]

As this board would imply, I’m new here! Being completely honest, this whole thing is totally new to me and not something I’ve ever thought about at all. Honestly, I’ve only ever considered being in a monogamous relationship and the idea of being shared is a completely foreign idea to me.

About a month ago, my husband brought this idea up to me and admitted to me that me being a hot wife is something he would find to be incredibly arousing. Admittedly the idea scares me, and we haven’t discussed it at any length really, outside of him presenting the idea to me and implying he would like there to be a degree of roughness to it. Again, until this point I never would have thought he’d want something like this in a million years.

A little about is, I am a 26 year old woman and my husband is 28. We met in college and dates for a couple years before getting married. At no point during any of that did I get the idea he would be into a thing like this, but apparently he is. Until a month ago as I said, he’s always been extremely protective of me and we’ve always agreed how cheating is something that would be a deal breaker for both of us. I’ve never considered cheating but it’s just one of those things that’s discussed in a “I don’t know how people stay together after that” type of thing, not a “would you leave me if I cheated?” type of thing.

Anyway, this has been brought up and I feel blind sided. I’ve read other places that this is something that can be used to spice up a bedroom, and being honest our sex probably is vanilla, but it’s not like he doesn’t like it. I thought he was satisfied at least. This might be TMI, but we’ve been having sex without a condom for quite some time, and I’m more than willing to give him head and everything that comes with that. We also have sex frequently, around 1-2 times a week, which I’ve always thought has satisfied him.

I realize this is long but please understand how blindsided I was by this. I am feeling a little betrayed and have hopefully joined this message board to learn more about this lifestyle. At this point, I don’t know if I’d say I’m particularly open to the idea. But I feel like it would be extremely unfair to him to not at least try and understand it.

Your willingness to understand explains a lot about why he trusts you enough to speak freely. I know the idea is completely foreign to you but can you imagine if the roles were reversed, and you wanted to explore the lifestyle. It might be difficult to raise the topic with him, wouldn't it? What would his reaction be? It would be much safer to avoid the risk of rejection or ridicule and keep it to yourself.

He has demonstrated immense trust in you by sharing his fantasy. I'm sure you'll find many will say the foundation of a successful marital relationship is trust. It's certainly a key to the lifestyle.

The lifestyle is multifaceted. A single definition of what it entails doesn't exist. It is what you and your husband decide it to be.

There's the aforementioned trust aspect. That includes overcoming any fear of abandonment or loss, too. If that is a concern of yours, it's a great place to begin an earnest consideration of what the lifestyle would mean to both of you.

There's a social/moral aspect, like cheating. Cheating requires secrecy and deception. Consenting spouses can mutually modify their vows as they wish, no differently than when they wrote their original vows. As for people that might judge you harshly, this subject is no more anyone's business than anything else that goes on behind your bedroom door.

There is actually a bonding aspect that you might find surprising. In my opinion, the journey is meant to be taken together. To be able to share in your joyful experiences will be your husband's joy. He will relish in your afterglow and feel disappointment if your experience isn't better than exceptional.

The main thing is that the lifestyle is all about you. You have the freedom. You make the decisions. You broaden your experiences and learn more about yourself. All the while you have a loving husband who wants the best for you.

At least that's how I feel.

Best of luck to both of you.

I’m so glad he trusted me to bring that up, but I do feel blindsided nonetheless and I’m really trying to understand it from his point of view. As I’ve said to others I just really can’t understand why he’d want me to be with other men. I just can’t understand that at all. I totally understand how hard it was for him to bring it up, especially since I think he’s felt that way for quite some time and has only now mentioned it.

The bonding you mentioned has been referenced other places and I understand or am trying to that it’s a mental thing but I’m really having trouble with that one. Thank you so ouch for your insight though. I really appreciate it!

[xelfor7]

hello
thank you for sharing.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. I work with many couples and what you are doing is outstanding. What your husband needs the most is someone who will just listen to him and his needs. You did that. So thats a huge win for you. In terms of his actual desires, I think the best course of action is to just talk to him about it

here are a few questions I would recommend.
1. how long have you had these desires? is this new or long standing?
2. what do you think about me being with someone else? Like emotionally?
3. do you think you're really ready for the reality of this?
4. would you like to "test" this out before going beyond the point of no return?

Thank you so much for this information. What would you recommend being the best setting for asking those questions? I’ve been very hesitant to really bring this up and we haven’t really discussed it much at all.

When you say you work with couples do you mean you’re a therapist?

[leggysman]

I think really I’m just trying to work on understanding why he thinks that way. I never once got the impression that he wanted to share me with other men, and we have always had a good sex life as far as I thought at least. He never seemed upset or disappointed, even though we definitely had a vanilla lifestyle. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that by the way. I’m NOT trying to shame him in any way, I just want to understand.

The 'why' is a very difficult question to answer, for many of us. It's not really a set of reasons that we can explain, and has really nothing to do with being unsatisfied by our wives. Quite the opposite. The extent to which we love and desire our wives is central to all of this.

Lots of women, for example, have rape fantasies. I think it's safe to say none of those women would enjoy being raped for real. But they get aroused by the fantasy version, and some even enjoy role-playing that - my wife included. If you asked them why, you might get a variety of speculative answers, but many of them would probably boil down to some version of "it's just hot" to think about being 'taken' against your will.

If you have any fantasies of your own, you might try asking yourself why, as an exercise.

It's a kink, you know? Not a way of rational thinking. It largely defies explanation, in the way that a person's sexual orientation might. Why do some people - men and women - fetishize feet, or other body parts, or humiliation, or things like 'feeding'? The list goes on... Why are we attracted to some looks or body types and not others? Why are we attracted to one person, and not another superficially similar person?

You'll find various threads here where we men ask ourselves why we have a sharing kink, but there doesn't seem to be a common answer. It seems hardwired for many or even most of us.

[Wantsomefunto]

Xel
Like others said, continue your good communication with your husband.

I can tell you why I enjoy sharing my wife and maybe your husband shares some of these reasons. Mate. Ask him if this is why he wants you to do it.

I enjoy my wife getting the chance to experience new physical experiences with guys of curious ages and various sizes.

I like her having sexual freedom to flirt and be with a guy is she is attracted to him.

I like that guys can give her better sex, especially if they are bigger than me and can last longer. Ask him if he wants you to experience bigger.

He maybe feels you will open up sexually to other guys and experience things you would be hesitant to do with him. Like being used hard, or tied up. My wife enjoys a guy screwing bet harder than I can.

I love the fact she is very sexy, great body and very good at oral and I like knowing other guys get to experience that.

I enjoy the tingling rush of her being out with a guy alone and not knowing what she is doing until she gets home to tell me all.

And I love the reclaiming sex we have after she has been with another guy. It seems to bring us together closer as she tells me all she did and we have sex together after.

There are others but I don’t want to bore you and everyone else.

Message me if you want to chat privately and I can share more

[allways]

You said your ages. Can you please describe you guys.

Your husband: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, physique

You: Ht., wt., hair and eye color, measurements if you know them

That would give all of us a visual.

And you said you have pretty vanilla sex but your husband wants you to get it rough. I assume he doesn't care to do that himself or have the ability to do that. But he wants to see you really fucked hard. Is that correct? If so, it sounds pretty hot.

Hi yes. My husband is 6’2”, 197lbs, dark blonde hair, blue eyes, and a average to moderately athletic body

I am 5’3”, 102lbs, long light blonde hair, blue eye, and in good shape.

Yes, as far as I know, which admittedly isn’t much, his specific fantasy is me having rough sex with 2 men that are not him. We have never had rough sex and it’s somewhat embarrassing to admit I don’t really know what it is other than “fucked hard” as you said I guess. As I said in other replies I just really want to understand where he’s coming front.

Your husband wants you to do this because to him your his porn star. The most important issue is do you want this? Does it turn you on? If not no. You do not want to do this unless its something you grow into and enjoy.

I think two men and rough sex to start is a road too far. Your both young you have a life time ahead of you. Figure out what you want and do not feel guilty if it is not for you.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

As other have suggested, there’s nothing unusual about your husband’s fantasy. If key phrases are an indication of commonality, “hotwife” and “cuckold” are two of the most common search words related to porn on the Internet. Rest assured, your husband is quite normal. The only thing that isn’t normal is public discussion about it.

As for “why” or the psychology behind the kink, there’s a lot of theory and speculation and perhaps a number of factors contributing to his interest. For some guys here at OHW (many who self-identify as cuckolds), there’s a humiliation aspect that appeals to them. For others, compersion is the main driving force, often accelerated by craving for novelty, adventure, or what psychologists call “sexual-sensation seeking.” I certainly fall into that category. To me, there is nothing more exciting and euphoric than witnessing my wife in a state of sexual bliss with a gifted lover.

But what matters most is what you feel about it. Does the idea excite you?

[Fearlesspain]

There is another member who's wife is in a similar place to you. I'll link the thread here: viewtopic.php?p=1579522#p1579320

In his first post on the thread he said the following "I asked my wife to read “The Faithful Hotwife.” Afterwards I asked her about. I think she appreciated the explanation of hotwife desires within the husband’s mind."

While I have not read this book, I have seen it mentioned numerous times on the forums and it might illuminate some things for you and provide some answers to your questions. Amazon has a digital copy for like 3 bucks. If you have amazon unlimited it's free.

[LVyoung]

Welcome to the forum! If you have any questions for a single guy in the lifestyle, I'd love to help.

[BallSpanking]

Xe,,
Welcome to the forum.
Of course you are trying to understand. Perhaps this might help.
Your husband loves and adores you.
He wants to see you completely fulfilled, including extraordinary experiences that he alone cannot provide.
It turns him on to turn you on, without possessiveness, encouraging you to let your hair down, and revel in your sexuality.