Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[anondesires]

The forum seems... usable lately.

A few weeks ago she told me that she had trained me to be her cuck. This wasn't exactly news to me, she made no secret about all the reading up on it she was doing and pushing my limits, finding out what I liked. Maybe it was the way she said it, the context in which she said it or the way it sounded like she had planned it all out and her training was now complete but it shocked me a little bit, I felt played and manipulated but honestly it was mostly hot.

She talked about how when she first read about it and realised I might be slightly into it that the idea seemed farfetched. She liked the possibility that I might eventually want her to fuck other guys but thought it would take a lot of time and persistence to get there. She said she would read stories about it and masturbate to the thought of her living out those adventures.

She said she was surprised how quickly she was able to push my limits, she enjoyed doing it, each step spurred her on for the next. She said she wasn't sorry about doing it because she knew I enjoyed it too.

Recently we've been talking about how we always said this was something we were trying out. She's suggesting that this is who I am now and we should make it official. She wants me to grant her sexual freedom, she wants me to ask her to fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants. We've had a few sessions where she'll tease me into saying it. She'll be touching herself as I tell her and telling her gets me going too. We've agreed that me saying it in the heat of the moment doesn't mean anything and she's hoping I'll say it when I'm thinking clearly. Every time I'm thinking clearly again, I'll take it back and express my concerns.

We've been using chastity a bit more recently too, not as a way to stop me touching myself but as a way to remove my ability to overpower her. As much as she might try to control whether we have sex or not, she'll admit that she's weak (physically and mentally) to me physically overpowering her. Once I start, she gets horny and eventually gives into it. If I'm wearing chastity, I can still overpower her and get her horny but being unable to fuck gets us both horny and frustrated. Inevitably I'll go down on her which satisfies her to some extent but she'll tease me that I'm just getting her frustrated for another man's cock.

[johnswan]

We've agreed that me saying it in the heat of the moment doesn't mean anything and she's hoping I'll say it when I'm thinking clearly. Every time I'm thinking clearly again, I'll take it back and express my concerns.

Hi anon, and welcome back.

As regards you granting her complete sexual freedom and, I assume, you staying chaste, why not spend some time together to write down something formal?
I'm sure you could have fun, over a number of sessions, while you write ideas down, amend them etc. Then, when you've got your final draft, have a signing 'ceremony'.

Could be hot!

[anondesires]

He found out that me seeing a dick pic on his phone potentially triggered my cuckold fantasies and premature ejaculation. Luckily he didn't find this out all at once but he thinks its the best thing ever that seeing his cock "turned me into a cuck". I think it was 4 different occasions that these questions came up. There was a question about whether I'd seen his dick before and I admitted that I accidently scrolled across a dick pic on his phone which I assumed was his. Another time, much longer ago, I think I might've shared the conversation here, he asked how I started having the fantasies and I told him how it entered my head a few months back while we were having sex. In a more recent conversation, I alluded to how when the fantasies enter my head during sex, I cum quick. He also asked who I first fantasized about being cucked by to which she thought it would be fun to tell him it was him but didn't elaborate further than that. He had all of the pieces at this point but hadn't put them together.

A couple of weeks ago he was asking about the first time it happened and whether I came quick that time. I admitted I did and it was a new embarrassing experience for me. He then remembered that he was the first person I fantasized about and asked if I thought about him that time, I admitted I did which he loved. A few minutes later he remembered about the dick pic I saw and realised it was around that time. She was giggling as I squirmed and had to admit that it was the next time we had sex after I saw it. He then almost spat out his drink and erupted in laughter.

He's been laying the humiliation on thick since then. He'll show me his erect cock and ask if it's what I pictured in my head that first night and then he'll fuck her and ask if it's what I needed to see that night. I think last time I wrote about the sex on here I was talking about me fake acting saying submissive things, it's less fake now, more natural. I've gained trust that it stays in the bedroom and doesn't affect anything else.

[elina]

Dear Anon.

Thanks for coming back to post again, many of us have missed you.
Yes, often the site is more stable now but don't take it for granted!!
The strong advice is still to write (at least the longer) posts in another window and then paste it in before hitting "submit".

I am happy for you and your Girlfriend that both of you are now accepting who you are, and that you are now gradually accepting that it is more natural for you to "say submissive things", which I assume is because you are more starting to accept that you actually are submissive to your Girlfriend?

For those of us who have accepted our submissive longings for a long time and are living with spouses who are not Dominant, or in many case are but will not accept that they are dominant by nature; the challenge is to find something that can trigger Her desire to dominata us and bring out our submissive leanings. Obviously, this is not an issue for you as your Girlfriend took to this like a duck to water and enjoyed pushing you into acceptance.

Take good care of this wonderful Lady of yours. Maybe it is time for you to thank Her and also tell Her how much you love Her for it?
Or is that still a bridge to far for you?

Some of the most dominant Ladies I have been privileged to correspond with at this point would actually "break it off" with their spouse at this stage, not because they intend to end the relationship, but because they know that once they have gotten their "insginificant other" to this point, the submissive will soon become desperate for their Cuckoldress to come back! The Lady may then tease and flirt but deny the male untill the male is willing to fully accept that his true desire is to serve the Lady he loves.

Maybe your Girlfriend is not even close to thinking about this idea. But regardless, can you imagine where this would leave you? Is there something you might want to do now to pre-empt such an evolution?

Sincerely
elina

[US31]

Anon,
I’m glad you’re back. As a long time cuck I love to hear your thoughts. It’s a strange mixture of emotions to be a cuck!
I love it and hate it at the same time.

Thanks for sharing

[WillSheDoIt]

Welcome back anon! This is a great thread. Glad you can share your experiences with us.

[wannabecUKold]

Fabulous to have you back.

Yes, please give us a blow by blow account of everything that has been going on!

[Jeremie11231]

Anon - has he seen you locked in the chastity device? Does he even know about it?

[mfmfantasy50]

Anon,
Welcum back…. Can’t wait to hear more of your continuing saga!!!
Rock

[anondesires]

It’s a strange mixture of emotions to be a cuck!
I love it and hate it at the same time.

Couldn't agree more!

Anon - has he seen you locked in the chastity device? Does he even know about it?

I think he knows we tried it but that we're not into the idea. He hasn't seen it.

[anondesires]

In the post I lost, I described 2 times he came over. The first one, there was a moment where she was sucking his cock, she turned to me to make out, she was sort of holding my hand but while I was distracted with making out she placed my hand on his cock and then turned back to suck it with both our hands on it. I sort of freaked out and removed my hand when I realised, neither of them mentioned it or pushed it further than that.

I think it stuck in my mind a bit for the week after. It felt so wrong that I had touched his cock. I think my first thought was how hot (temperature) it was. I guess because it was similar to holding dildos which were always cold. The fact that it reminded me more of holding a big dildo than of holding my own cock was humiliating in itself. It also didn't help the involuntary thoughts about how I had sucked big dildos and how his cock might feel similar but warmer. Honestly, the thought of how stretched my mouth is around a dildo and knowing that's probably what it's like with his cock is humiliating and degrading. I don't want to suck his cock but the thought enters my head and turns me on. I try to channel the thoughts into how she would feel sucking his cock. That in itself is a sign of where we're at. I remember when the thought of her sucking his cock was something I tried not to think about it, now it's the safe alternative to other thoughts that enter my head.

The following week she tried the same trick, less as a trick, more as a suggestion but I went along with it. I had my hand around his cock as she sucked it. It felt so wrong, I don't know if that's what made it hotter or if it was feeling so compliant in her cucking me. That lasted less than a minute but since then I've become more comfortable with it. In more recent times, I've guided his cock into her pussy and gradually gotten comfortable essentially jerking him off while we're making out between times where she's sucking him if that makes sense. That thing feels mighty in my hand, I can only imagine what difference it feels for her in her pussy.

[anondesires]

Something else that we discuss a lot at the moment is that she wants to tell some people about our arrangement. In particular, she has a close friend that's currently single and she likes to talk about her dates and guys she fucks. My girlfriend wants to talk about her own sex life with her but can't. She understands that telling her might mean the secret getting out and so hasn't told her but she wonders how she'll ever be able to talk about her sex life with anyone.

[mfmfantasy50]

Anon,
Good for you! They both seem to see you as a compliant cuckold and are eagerly treating you as a welcome participant in their special kind of sexual relationship, accordingly. They are exposing you gradually to the role they envision you filling and your gradual submission and acceptance is contributing your particular kind of cuckold sexual energy to the mix between your girl and her new lover. Remember that the lover is also making accommodations to allow your male participation simply by allowing you to touch his genitals. If this continues and all three of you continue to grow your roles, together, you will find you always have a place in their relationship, which I believe is a good outcome to this experiment overall.

[US31]

She should write a book on how to train a cuck!
Please keep telling us about your experiences!

[Jujube]

I’m curious, how often does she get to fuck your friend ? Is she fucking him more than you? I apologize, but I took a hiatus from your thread when the site was experiencing so many glitches. Your situation of slow submission to the way things are is excruciatingly erotic!

[anondesires]

I’m curious, how often does she get to fuck your friend ? Is she fucking him more than you? I apologize, but I took a hiatus from your thread when the site was experiencing so many glitches. Your situation of slow submission to the way things are is excruciatingly erotic!

They fuck about 1-3 times a week, I'm present probably half of the times.
We fuck after every time they do plus other times, probably 3-4 times a week total.
Unless you mean time spent fucking or number of orgasms, in which case he's definitely getting more.

[Jujube]

Can you think of some celebrity she resembles? Getting a visual always helps!

[anondesires]

Can you think of some celebrity she resembles? Getting a visual always helps!

I think Ryan Ryans, especially when she was younger.

[anondesires]

She should write a book on how to train a cuck!
Please keep telling us about your experiences!

I don't think she'd want to. I wonder how much demand for that kind of thing there is? Are there many other girlfriends/wives that would want to do that? I think there's already plenty of material out there, that's where she learned it from.
I think she's got it down to a fine art now, it's like hypnosis, I'm aware that she's doing it to me but it feels so good (for both of us I think). She'll get me right up to the edge and then start telling me things, turning me on with things, having me do things, agree to things, say things. I shouldn't let her do it but like I said, it feels too good.

[ppisbest5]

Hi anon, glad to see you're posting again. Hope you are doing well both physically and mentally.

A while ago some of us asked about you see all this being turned out, and you said you didn't know then... Have you figured out what you want from the future?

As seen previously, your girlfriend seems to just go full speed in pushing your boundaries, do you guys take a break and talk about what do you both want long term?

Do you think someday you'd not be as into this kink as you are now and would want to stop? How would she react to that?

More accurately do you actually want to be in this kind of relationship for the rest of your life?

This may be a sensitive question but do you think she'll lose interest in you once she's done with pushing you and gets all she wants? I hope you guys have talked enough and your thoughts and worries are taken into consideration as well instead of her just pushing you all the time.

And most importantly, how are you doing mentally/emotionally? I see most of the people cheering and pushing for more but hey somebody's gotta ask the boring and serious question and in this case it's me. All this above stuff I asked is what I thought of when I put myself in your shoes and the type of stuff that I would think and wounder about if I were in your place.

[US31]

Delete

[US31]

“I think she's got it down to a fine art now, it's like hypnosis, I'm aware that she's doing it to me but it feels so good (for both of us I think). She'll get me right up to the edge and then start telling me things, turning me on with things, having me do things, agree to things, say things. I shouldn't let her do it but like I said, it feels too good.”


It’s such sweet anxiety/ecstasy isn’t it!!!!
Kinda turns a man into jelly.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

[coastalkid]

And most importantly, how are you doing mentally/emotionally? I see most of the people cheering and pushing for more but hey somebody's gotta ask the boring and serious question and in this case it's me. All this above stuff I asked is what I thought of when I put myself in your shoes and the type of stuff that I would think and wounder about if I were in your place.

Thanks ppisbest! Your questions are the same as mine. Most people want to know "what happened" and all the delicious details. I want to know "how it works", as in what are the effects during non-sexual times. I can't imagine that there are not a myriad of complex feelings and emotions, and completely distinct differences in what the wife and husband experience.

The partners have such different paths and witnessing each other as they go in different directions. I know that many of these relationships are entered in to in a shared way or idea but I don't see how a wife can fully understand what a husband thinks and feels. She can guess at it but unless she has a "sit down" frank discussion with assurance that her husband is being honest then she really can't know. The exact same should hold true for the husband. He can't fully understand without discussion either. Both are doing things they don't "normally" do (at least from the outset). It's a new side to their shared experience accompanied with new uncharacteristic behavior, even if that characteristic is anticipated it's still new.

When I think about the dynamic the answer I come up with is, "It's easy!" Easy to totally fuck it up, or easy to make sure things are on the right track and everyone is excited to carry on. It's also easy to simply accept the ubiquitous phrase, "It is what it is!" (translated: "not as good as it could be"). As a long time wannabe I'm very familiar with, "It is what it is!"

[venus-can99]

Thanks for taking the time to start posting again annon. Great to hear from you again

[anondesires]

A while ago some of us asked about you see all this being turned out, and you said you didn't know then... Have you figured out what you want from the future?

No but it's something we discuss an increasing amount. At first it was a "try it and see" thing but now it's become a "this is what we do now" thing and I can't see it stopping in the foreseeable future. I still don't see my future self as some "cuckold husband", I guess something's got to give there and I think I know which and it still scares me. From her perspective, she doesn't see the problem (as much). She says people have all sorts of sexualities and relationship dynamics these days, it's not that weird any more. I point out that if my friends, family and/or colleagues found out, it would define who I was and some might start pushing for a piece of the action.

As seen previously, your girlfriend seems to just go full speed in pushing your boundaries, do you guys take a break and talk about what do you both want long term?

We talk about a lot of things. It was talking about our pasts and present desires that led us to try other things in the first place. When we're both horny, things inevitably tend to go "full speed", why would you only go half speed? You want to arouse your partner as much as you can, right? With regard to where it's all headed, we don't know, we're just seeing where it goes. I don't think you can plan how your likes/dislikes will change in the future. Sure, you could argue that she's been suggestive about things that she likes the idea of but these things find their own direction.

Do you think someday you'd not be as into this kink as you are now and would want to stop? How would she react to that?

I guess I hope someday that we both lose desire for it but where would we go from there? I guess the bigger and more general worry is "what if our desires go in different directions and we drift apart?" For your specific question, does that happen? Do you know anyone that's happened to?

More accurately do you actually want to be in this kind of relationship for the rest of your life?

A large part of me doesn't want to be in this kind of relationship now. There are days/times where I wonder if I'm no longer into it, most of those times I get straight back into it when it's imminent, other times I don't get into it but days later I'll remember it and be annoyed at myself for not making the most of it.

This may be a sensitive question but do you think she'll lose interest in you once she's done with pushing you and gets all she wants?

I don't know. I guess there's a thrill to pushing limits but there's also memories and a bond created along the way. Having gone through what we have, there's been emotional times and we've been through it together. Are you suggesting she would rather start again from scratch with someone else because she only enjoys pushing limits? Do you think pushing those same limits with someone else would be as fulfilling? Would it not just remind her of when she did it with me?

I hope you guys have talked enough and your thoughts and worries are taken into consideration as well instead of her just pushing you all the time.

As much as it might seem like she's just selfishly steering things where she wants, she's also very considerate.

And most importantly, how are you doing mentally/emotionally?

I think I've learned to cope with it. Maybe that's by compartmentalising this as an experience or as a temporary situation and not dwelling too much on the long term implications. I can't undo what's happened so far. The implications of what's already happened are already there so I may as well have some pleasure from it. I'm assuming that with time I'll become more comfortable with the bigger picture as I have done so far already.