Bull as a friend or kept as a stranger

[surry]

As social creatures, this is a natural part of our being. When we constantly interact with others, it is inevitable that some social bond will form, whether it be one of friendship, or romance. For some couples, after months or years of interaction, a bull may transcend from being merely a stranger present to fulfill a sexual fantasy for a couple to a "friends with benefits". I personally have mixed feelings about this. If a bull gets too close emotionally it can be an advantage as there is more trust among all parties and it is easier, more rewarding and more enjoyable to do these sexual activities together. On the other hand, a close bull like that could even be seen as a threat to the relationship in a more romantic sense. What are your thoughts on all this? Have any of you developed a deep camaraderie with your bulls, or do you see them as an employee there to fulfill ONE job and that's it? This mostly goes for couples that have a dedicated permanent bull, some others may rotate bulls frequently and this may not apply to them. I read you.

[ferrisandrews]

This is an excellent question to bring up with the spouse, because all couples are different. Some wives get off on the idea of having sex with strangers. When a bull is no longer a stranger, it can seem more routine and she already has her husband to satisfy her need for safety, comfort, and routine. On the flipside, some wives really hate the process of dating and all of the headaches, angst and issues that can arise from it. Finding someone she likes that she can see on a regular basis without having to go hunt for a new guy every time is really refreshing (and the husband can like it as well since he's often the one having to find new bulls for her to interview).

I don't remember ever developing any sort of friendship or camaraderie with a bull, in my case it was always viewed as a partnership. I think the best bulls are specialists, similar to a mechanic, a doctor, a personal trainer, fulfilling a need that they are uniquely skilled and qualified to satisfy. I think the vanilla relationship sabotages a lot of marriages because there's this notion that once that mystical ring gets slipped onto the finger, a husband can be all things that his wife needs or wants (and how dare she for wanting more). Many companies benefit from perpetuating this paradigm, but monogamy isn't always great for the couple long-term.

Even bulls who are promoted to Doms would probably still be seen as a specialist to us. Doms typically do spend more time with a couple and get to know them on a more personal level in order to be good Doms. I don't think the story changes though. If a Dom became someone more than a specialist, their role would definitely take on a new life of its own.

So can you spend more time with a specialist, such as a personal trainer? Sure, but the more time you spend with them the more their role begins to be redefined (or at least it might feel weird not to). It would be weird to introduce a co-worker with whom you spend a lot of time with as 'someone I work with', because time has promoted them to something above that. What 'that' is called is up to the couple (and the bull) at that point. Some couples in that situation may promote their bull to a good friend or even a second husband (poly), while others may want him to remain that specialist they see occasionally to get their needs met.

[ucaneffher]

Duplicate. Please delete.

[ucaneffher]

My then hot gf had a philosophy that she practiced religiously with lovers/FWBs. She needed a connection with her men so she rarely did the one night stand ordeal and instead when she was interested in a man, she would become as close as she could with him. This meant becoming texting buddies throughout the day, long phone calls from time to time, going out to lunches/dinners, hanging out whether going out for drinks or asking them accompany her to the mall when she needed to buy or return something.

This resulted in a friendship and a connection and when the time was right, she always always always ended with her friends between her legs or bending her over and it made her feel more comfortable that she was doing this with a friend. Her ideal scenario was to hang out or even run some errands with her guy friends and if at the end of that they were feeling close, then she'd end up in their bed.

She once started getting very close and intimate with somewhat of a friend that we both went to high school with. I knew him and had made small talk with him in some of the classes we had together but we were never officially friends. Suddenly 3 years after graduating highschool I found out he had been hanging with and fucking my girlfriend. Comically I found out by visiting her apartment without prior notice and found him in jeans shirtless putting on his shoes in the living room and my girlfriend in the bathroom adjusting her hair/ponytail in nothing but a pair of boyshort panties and her usual thin tight camisole tank tops. I didn't know she was screwing him at that point but I didn't make it obvious and I made sure to not make it awkward and talked to him like I was happy to see an old friend asking about his life and how he's been.

We actually had a nice conversation while he put his short on and my gf finished freshening up. I was sure to give him my blessings without saying it. I told him something along the lines of "Hey I didn't know you two were buddies and hanging out at her place catching up but I think that's awesome!, I'm really happy you two are connecting! If you two are gonna be hanging out more frequently then maybe next time you two hangout, call me when you free up and afterwards I can come meet you two we can all go grab a bite together. If not then we'll plan for a future time when you two have time and we can go out." This way he understood I was giving them not only approval to spend time alone but also not planning on interrupting them, and giving them time without rushing them because I would only come after they "free up" from "hanging out" aka when he's done cumming inside my girlfriend. He got the hint and read clearly between the lines. It became normal occurrence to join them after they had been fucking all afternoon. I loved still seeing my girlfriends face all flush and red still glistening from sweating while sitting next to him. He and I became really close that summer and so did they. I loved it much more than any of her other relationships with men because I got myself a buddy to work on our car projects and even talk guy stuff but when it came to him fucking my GF, I'd give them their space and privacy.

Now if you're asking from my perspective, my thing is that I'd love to make a new friend specifically a good friend/best friend that resulted out of my girlfriend's relationship with him. I'd love for her lover to become my best friend so that I feel more and more comfortable giving her to him.

I feel that if he and I become really close friends, I would be happy to surrender her to him as opposed some random fuck buddy of hers whom I've only met once. I feel that I'd be more willing to let her cut me off to go exclusive with him and I think that I definitely would just overall feel more comfortable backing down and letting him take over as her main full-time partner including him moving in our home so that they can actually share a bed. Them sharing the master bedroom would allow them to further bond as a couple and because he and I would be best friends, I would be happy to see them together.

[Tryagain]

This thread addresses a question I have had for a very long time. In all the years we have entertained guys in threesomes, not one has progressed to being a friend outside of the sexual activity. For example, her latest boyfriend has been a sexual partner for about 1 year, meeting every 2-3 weeks. So as not to put pressure on him, we said he if he ever wanted to stay for dinner afterwards that would be great, he has not taken us up on our offer. He really does like both of us and we like him personally as well. And we are a friendly, warm outgoing couple.

But moving beyond sex has not happened, and we also feel funny asking him again because if a guy does not want that, we do not want to lose the sexual relationship.

I am amazed how often I read here that even the guys go out bowling or whatever together. My personal experience makes me doubt how often this really occurs.

[Cdncuck]

I'm close friends with several of her boyfriends. With others, they are aware I know but we don't interact much. The third type, I don't even know who they are.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

(I detest the word “bull” and all of its connotations. I don’t see the relationship they have as animalistic. He’s her “boyfriend,” and he’s a nice fellow who my wife lets have sexual privileges when they’re BOTH feeling it. The idea of a bull being released to pasture to fuck all of the cows doesn’t apply.)

My wife’s boyfriend is a good friend.

He was originally interested in getting my wife to cheat on me, but we eventually dropped the boom and told him that I’m VERY aware of what’s happening, and that I’m even encouraging her to explore her sexuality with another fellow.

He was “enlightened” in that moment, and he realized that if he played well, he could have a continued, long-term emotional and sexual relationship with her, not just a single one-night stand. She was basically saying, “You can have all the pussy you want, but I want MORE than a short-term fling. I want a full-blown boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you in which it is understood that you and my husband are the only ones who can enjoy me sexually and (this kind of) emotionally.” (She wanted him to be sexually exclusive as well, of course, so that we’d all be able to play without having to worry about STDs and such. He quickly got on board with this.)

As a consequence of their relationship, she has encouraged us to play well together. We do everything that good friends do…hang out watching TV, dining out together, helping each other with various problems (landscaping, car repair/maintenance, rides to/from the airport, etc.). We take it a step further, of course, because we both fuck her.

For her part, she essentially gets two husbands, although I am MUCH more financially embedded with her than he is.

She keeps a drawer in his dresser…a small section for herself in his closet. With me, there are children (adults, now), there is an entire (suburban) co-owned house filled with our co-owned shit, cars, joint investments, joint bank accounts, retirement beneficiary declarations, life insurance policies, etc. (These are relationships she will never have with him.)

He is a good boyfriend to her. Treats her well……And she treats him well.

So I treat him well, too. (And he treats me respectfully.)

For this, he gets to enjoy her feminine charms on a (at least) weekly basis, she is A LOT happier…..and I’m happy that she’s enjoying herself.

[Tryagain]

I'm close friends with several of her boyfriends. With others, they are aware I know but we don't interact much. The third type, I don't even know who they are.

Since you met the guy in order for him to have sex with your wife, then their relationship is the primary one. So you hang out a bit before sex and then you guys all have sex ( or you just watch). Then you hang out ( a bit ?) and then he leaves. Since guys need to have something in common to develop a friendship, than what do just you and him have in common? Sure.. you both fuck your wife but what the heck are you talking about together?

[Cdncuck]

She doesn't always play at home. She goes out on dates without me. So some of those guys I don't know who some of them are. I have no idea what they may know about me. I don't ask because it's not important to me.

The guys that fuck her here and at parties I know. I know who they are, sometimes I've joined in fucking my wife. Sometimes I just watch. Some in this group are good friends. When not engaged in playing with my wife we talk about all kinds of things like hunting, photography, canoeing what we're planning to plant in the garden next year. We talk about the normal things everyone talks about.

The guys who are good friends is a bit different. But basically, either they fuck her and I watch and jerk or I join in depending on what my wife prefers

[Cdncuck]

She doesn't always play at home. She goes out on dates without me. So some of those guys I don't know who some of them are. I have no idea what they may know about me. I don't ask because it's not important to me.

The guys that fuck her here and at parties I know. I know who they are, sometimes I've joined in fucking my wife. Sometimes I just watch. Some in this group are good friends. When not engaged in playing with my wife we talk about all kinds of things like hunting, photography, canoeing what we're planning to plant in the garden next year. We talk about the normal things everyone talks about.

The guys who are good friends is a bit different. But basically, either they fuck her and I watch and jerk or I join in depending on what my wife prefers

[Newbull]

I met my girlfriend on OHW twelve years ago. We've developed a relationship we consider polyandrous. I've committed to her and only her sexually, recently. She has decided to search for new lovers which has increased my sex drive considerably. She's very humble, but no doubt enjoys the idea that her pussy controls both her hubby and me.

[dreamer72]

The world of non-monogamous sex is a pretty broad field so it really just depends on the people involved. But I do not believe there is such a thing as "sex without emotion". All sex is basically a physical expression of emotion, it just depends on what the emotion is all the parties involved are acting out. If you're just about experience different penises and vaginas then ONS and NSA type stuff might work for you. If the couple in question is wanting explore the deeper aspects of being HW/cuck then a having a closer relationship, like an "erotic friendship" will likely fit the bill a little better. Really just depends on how deep someone wants to explore. If it's a lack of size or ability to perform on the cucks part and it's about finding quality sex on a regular basis for the HW then a regular lover, or a small stable of like 2-3 regulars who can learn what she likes and who everyone can feel safe with would probably be best. The longer and more frequently someone is having your wife the more likely some sort of "friendship" is likely to evolve.

[BadCandy]

my experience with this is pretty limited still, as my wife and I only just started in the lifestyle a few months ago, and she has only played with one other guy in that time... but that other guy is her ex, that she dated before me. I knew him, when they dated previously, and i helped her through the break up... they broke up on good terms. they wanted different things, and they admitted the only real feelings they had for each other were physical... he is now her fuck buddy... and he and I get along pretty well. I'd dare say we are becoming friends... not that he and i would, like, go out together without the wife, where as she has seen him without me around... but whenever the three of us are together, he and I get along pretty well! we like a lot of the same movies and music, and happen to both be fucking the same woman... my wife...

i can say i really like being friends with him. i like having a friend who is also fucking my wife... i like that the three of us can hang out, talk about movies and stuff, get a beer, whatever... and then take turns groping my wife's tits...

its a really hot dynamic that I am finding i am really enjoying!

i have not yet experienced the other option, where the bull is a stranger i dont know... but i really like this so far!

[MartasBoy]

As social creatures, this is a natural part of our being. When we constantly interact with others, it is inevitable that some social bond will form, whether it be one of friendship, or romance. ....

....This mostly goes for couples that have a dedicated permanent bull, some others may rotate bulls frequently and this may not apply to them. I read you.

He is my wife's boyfriend, and she is his girlfriend. I am pretty peripheral and inconsequential to their relationship.

[Uncertain9901]

As social creatures, this is a natural part of our being. When we constantly interact with others, it is inevitable that some social bond will form, whether it be one of friendship, or romance. ....

....This mostly goes for couples that have a dedicated permanent bull, some others may rotate bulls frequently and this may not apply to them. I read you.

He is my wife's boyfriend, and she is his girlfriend. I am pretty peripheral and inconsequential to their relationship.

Same here, my wife and her bull have a relationship of their own and I play little part in it. I've met him socially a few times before and after my wife decided to sleep with him so I know a bit about him and he knows me, but overall I respect their relationship and I try not to interfere, we're not 'friends' as such.

[John Ryan]

(I detest the word “bull” and all of its connotations. I don’t see the relationship they have as animalistic. He’s her “boyfriend,” and he’s a nice fellow who my wife lets have sexual privileges when they’re BOTH feeling it. The idea of a bull being released to pasture to fuck all of the cows doesn’t apply.)

My wife’s boyfriend is a good friend.

He was originally interested in getting my wife to cheat on me, but we eventually dropped the boom and told him that I’m VERY aware of what’s happening, and that I’m even encouraging her to explore her sexuality with another fellow.

He was “enlightened” in that moment, and he realized that if he played well, he could have a continued, long-term emotional and sexual relationship with her, not just a single one-night stand. She was basically saying, “You can have all the pussy you want, but I want MORE than a short-term fling. I want a full-blown boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you in which it is understood that you and my husband are the only ones who can enjoy me sexually and (this kind of) emotionally.” (She wanted him to be sexually exclusive as well, of course, so that we’d all be able to play without having to worry about STDs and such. He quickly got on board with this.)

As a consequence of their relationship, she has encouraged us to play well together. We do everything that good friends do…hang out watching TV, dining out together, helping each other with various problems (landscaping, car repair/maintenance, rides to/from the airport, etc.). We take it a step further, of course, because we both fuck her.

For her part, she essentially gets two husbands, although I am MUCH more financially embedded with her than he is.

She keeps a drawer in his dresser…a small section for herself in his closet. With me, there are children (adults, now), there is an entire (suburban) co-owned house filled with our co-owned shit, cars, joint investments, joint bank accounts, retirement beneficiary declarations, life insurance policies, etc. (These are relationships she will never have with him.)

He is a good boyfriend to her. Treats her well……And she treats him well.

So I treat him well, too. (And he treats me respectfully.)

For this, he gets to enjoy her feminine charms on a (at least) weekly basis, she is A LOT happier…..and I’m happy that she’s enjoying herself.


I completely Agee with you view. Bull is an inappropriate way of characterizing a relationship. We’re not in a field full of cattle. Just friends enjoying one another in a pleasurable way. It’s about respect. The word “BULL” should be dropped from the lexicon when it comes to human relationships.

[John Ryan]

(I detest the word “bull” and all of its connotations. I don’t see the relationship they have as animalistic. He’s her “boyfriend,” and he’s a nice fellow who my wife lets have sexual privileges when they’re BOTH feeling it. The idea of a bull being released to pasture to fuck all of the cows doesn’t apply.)

My wife’s boyfriend is a good friend.

He was originally interested in getting my wife to cheat on me, but we eventually dropped the boom and told him that I’m VERY aware of what’s happening, and that I’m even encouraging her to explore her sexuality with another fellow.

He was “enlightened” in that moment, and he realized that if he played well, he could have a continued, long-term emotional and sexual relationship with her, not just a single one-night stand. She was basically saying, “You can have all the pussy you want, but I want MORE than a short-term fling. I want a full-blown boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you in which it is understood that you and my husband are the only ones who can enjoy me sexually and (this kind of) emotionally.” (She wanted him to be sexually exclusive as well, of course, so that we’d all be able to play without having to worry about STDs and such. He quickly got on board with this.)

As a consequence of their relationship, she has encouraged us to play well together. We do everything that good friends do…hang out watching TV, dining out together, helping each other with various problems (landscaping, car repair/maintenance, rides to/from the airport, etc.). We take it a step further, of course, because we both fuck her.

For her part, she essentially gets two husbands, although I am MUCH more financially embedded with her than he is.

She keeps a drawer in his dresser…a small section for herself in his closet. With me, there are children (adults, now), there is an entire (suburban) co-owned house filled with our co-owned shit, cars, joint investments, joint bank accounts, retirement beneficiary declarations, life insurance policies, etc. (These are relationships she will never have with him.)

He is a good boyfriend to her. Treats her well……And she treats him well.

So I treat him well, too. (And he treats me respectfully.)

For this, he gets to enjoy her feminine charms on a (at least) weekly basis, she is A LOT happier…..and I’m happy that she’s enjoying herself.


I completely Agee with you view. Bull is an inappropriate way of characterizing a relationship. We’re not in a field full of cattle. Just friends enjoying one another in a pleasurable way. It’s about respect. The word “BULL” should be dropped from the lexicon when it comes to human relationships.

[cthubby]

well considering it started withmy buddies, she feels safer and more intimate when its someone she knows/feels a connection with so yeah..it'd have to be friends

[cthubby]

well considering it started with my buddies, she feels safer and more intimate when its someone she knows/feels a connection with so yeah..it'd have to be friends, and actually it would lead to a closer friendship with us anyway

[Cuck_Steve]

My wife’s boyfriend was a friend of ours for a long time before they got together.

My wife would only agree if it was someone she already felt comfortable with. Stranger was never an option for us.