Introducing My Wife to the Lifestyle Gently

[Wanttobeil]

Hi everyone,
I'm just starting to explore this world and I'm curious how to gently introduce it to my wife. I don’t want to suggest right away that she sleep with other men I'd prefer for the idea to come from her, if it ever does.
What’s a good way to slowly open the conversation and let her discover this world at her own pace?
Thanks in advance for your advice

[bbarnsworth]

Welcome!

You've just taken a step towards this dream

I recently made post elsewhere on the forum that I think is appropriate to your question.

viewtopic.php?f=48&t=76299&p=1564035#p1564035

Each situation is different though; if you have more questions, please ask! We're happy to help!

[Wantsomefunto]

What is she like? Does she go out for drinks any? Does she like toys? Those two things can help break the ice

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Do you guys watch porn together? If so....adjust your viewing preferences to hotwife or cuckold porn and watch her reaction.

[Dream Weaver]

Hi everyone,
I'm just starting to explore this world and I'm curious how to gently introduce it to my wife. I don’t want to suggest right away that she sleep with other men I'd prefer for the idea to come from her, if it ever does.
What’s a good way to slowly open the conversation and let her discover this world at her own pace?
Thanks in advance for your advice

Around here I’ve seen the “I had this wild dream” tactic used with some success.

[bbarnsworth]

Around here I’ve seen the “I had this wild dream” tactic used with some success.

Meh. Transparent has hell!

[Dream Weaver]

Around here I’ve seen the “I had this wild dream” tactic used with some success.

Meh. Transparent has hell!

Isn't that the point?

People who play ESP games go nowhere.

[Wanttobeil]

What is she like? Does she go out for drinks any? Does she like toys? Those two things can help break the ice

Home kind of wife doesn't go out much
Likes toys

[Wantsomefunto]

Mention to her how much you like seeing her enjoy toys, especially ones bigger than you and ask if she ever had someone bigger. Them slowly suggest she deserves a chance to experience bigger if she ever wants to

[newtonmenlo]

The first time I mentioned the possibility of her being polyamorous, was when she related a story to me about something we had experienced in the past. Kind of a "remember when?" situation. I honestly didn't remember so I just blurted out, "That must have happened when you were with your boyfriend."
It led to a conversation where I admitted that if she felt that she really needed other cock, "How could I stand in your way?" That I certainly would be jealous but also very turned on. Telling her that she was more than enough woman for me, but I could understand if she needed more than just me.

[cdb]

.

[cdb]

Around here I’ve seen the “I had this wild dream” tactic used with some success.

Meh. Transparent has hell!

Isn’t that the point though? Then if the conversation doesn’t go well you can both pretend like it was just a weird dream.

It’s similar to the end of a date when someone invites a their date inside for some made up reason. Everyone knows it’s for sex. But it gives an opportunity for them to decline and they both can pretend that it wasn’t about sex.

OP, I would use the dream method. But I’d be careful not to describe it in a purely physical way like how you would describe a porn scene to someone.

If I was going to go back to when I first brought the subject up, I’d say to my wife that I had a dream where some successful, confident guy, (or whatever type of guy she finds attractive) who could have nearly any woman he wanted, found you irresistible and pursued you until you finally caved in. He had other women throwing themselves at him but he totally ignored them and focused on only you.

You tried to resist him and turn him down. But subconsciously you loved that he was chasing you because whenever he was around you were smiling, laughing, playing with your hair and touching his arm (or whatever cues she gives when she wants you to “chase” her for lovemaking, think about her behavior when you first fell in love and describe that).

Eventually you two were alone at a place together (describe a romantic situation at real place in another city or anywhere that she does not associate with you or her everyday life) and he grabbed you and kissed you passionately. You kissed him back and let out all your pent up desires all at once. As a result you guys had sex for hours because you just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Don’t describe his dick at all. Don’t talk about sex positions or any of the sexual details. If you simply can’t resist taking about that, keep it short. Let her imagination fill in all blanks on how SHE would see that scenario.

Then tell her you were watching it all and it made you unbelievably aroused. It felt so good to see her enjoying herself so much and to see her realize how desirable she is. Tell her that you know it seems weird but you loved dream and hope that you can dream like that every night. Then say she’s beautiful, physically attractive, and that you love her very much.

Then leave it at that. The goal is to plant a seed to open up further conversation.

She might get mad, she might say it’s weird, she’ll for sure say that she only has eyes for you (that’s a subconscious lie but let her believe it). Or she might tell you some of her fantasies involving other guys. No matter what she says, respond positively and listen to her. Don’t add anything to her response.

The goal is to plant the thought in her mind that you see her being with someone else as a positive thing and that someone else that she finds desirable would love to be with her.

Then wait a few days or a week to bring up the subject again. Never bother her with it, never create subtle pressure (I know from experience that she’ll feel negative pressure if you talk about it to much or to graphically), and always move on to the next subject as soon as she signals it. Whether it’s been ten seconds or one hour of conversation on the topic, move on when she’s ready.

Stimulating her thoughts should always be the goal early on, not sharing yours. Save the more lusty, raw, physical thoughts and ideas you have for later on. Once she starts fantasizing then she’ll be thinking those types of thoughts as well.

[aandmp]

My wife is from Asia, a rather modest, closed to sexual 'freedom' I guess. She was divorced, only having her husband before me. Very shy about nudity, sex, etc. I'd been married before a couple times, swung in both. After we'd been married a few years, we ventured to 'family' type nude resorts. Neither had been to one, and took us a bit to adjust to being nude around others. After trips to various 'family' type resorts, we ventured to a lifestyle resort. To see some hard cocks and open sex took getting used to, lol.
So, for a surprise, I booked us a week at Hedo2. Lots of sexy games around the nude pool, and some open sex going on. She was very shy, mostly kept a "don't get near me" look on her face all week, lol. To my surprise, she wanted to return though. next trip, she was more relaxed, carried on conversations and a bit of flirting. Later in the week, we were talking with a male, him on a lounge chair, us sitting on one beside him. He was trying hard to get my wife to agree to going to his room for some 3-some fun, which she declined, multiple times. Best of my recollection, he told her she was making him excited, as he pointed out his hardening cock, asked her to help him with it. She surprised me by grabbing his cock, and jerking him until he came. Appeared a hurdle had been cleared, lol.
A day or so later, we were in the nude pool, standing talking with people, my wife, who had been beside me, wasn't there, so I turned to find her, she was behind me, and had a man's cock down her throat. Hmm. hurdle #2 down?
That week, we met a couple in the pool, wives got along great, we spent time with them all week, nothing else happened though. Next visit the couple were there also, and this visit, the week was almost over, but we ended up in bed, first with the husband, before his wife came and joined in. So, my wife got to experience some mfm fun, and then mfmf fun. After she sat up, exclaimed "that was fun, I want to do it again"! Which was obviously a desired result.
So, that was my wife's slow introduction to the lifestyle. We went on to enjoying fun with a few couples, but found mfm fun was a better match for us. (sorry so long)

[Greg_N_Shelley]

The “wild dream” icebreaker may be a safe opener as some have proposed. Personally, I prefer a more honest approach.

I’ve always been partial to the idea of getting naked after a few drinks (enough to lower inhibition, but not enough to cloud judgement or provoke negative emotion), and invite her to share her wildest fantasy without fear of judgement. Then when she’s finished, it’s your turn.

That’s similar to how I broke the ice with my wife, Shelley.

If she doesn’t have any wild fantasies, maybe ask her about her greatest sex experience before you (granted she had some). Assure her you’re not jealous and in fact, find it quite hot. Let her test your reaction and see how much it turns you on.

I suppose I was rather lucky. My girl agreed quite easily when she realized I was sincere and how turned on I was by the idea of her having sex with other men.