The girl that I have the biggest crush on is making me feel I'm destined for this

[hamadasamada88]

Hey guys,

So there's a girl at work who I have the biggest crush on. Ever since my ex and I broke up last year, this girl is the only thing I can think about. Sometimes we hang out but she never really made it seem like she was interested but then sometimes she does. It's like she has me in a trance and I can't ever think straight whenever she's around.

Anyway, I wanted to celebrate a new role at work and I invited her and a few friends friends to go hangout. It was me, her, a couple and another guy who's single. Everything was going great and it felt like me and her were really bonding and enjoying the night. Then it was time to go grab food so everyone was headed towards their car, and since she didn't have a car, I was happy to see she was walking with me towards mine. Then all of a sudden the other singe guy shouts "Hey M, do you need a ride?". She didn't think twice, she just walked towards him and left me! At the table she was sitting next to him, making a lot of eye contact with him and whenever she was talking she would only look at him and completely ignore me.

This confused the shit out of me! I thought we were really bonding me and her and to just leave me to go ride with him like I was nothing brought a lot of feelings that my ex-girlfriend also brought....I was broken but also starting to build scenarios that started to me very aroused. All the time during dinner I'm envisioning her, with her incredibly pretty face, locking eyes with him as he takes her to bed and rock her world. It's almost as if I was wishing instead of him dropping her at the train station, she'd ask him to drive her home so he could make love to her and father her children.

It just feels like she always viewed him as the alpha and I'm the worthless beta and she was just waiting for his signal.

Guys, and gals, I think I'm destined for this. I think I'm just a beta and the sad thing is that it's really starting to turn me on.

Please help if you have any advice on how to deal with this because I'm afraid it might just turn into depression

[hamadasamada88]

Sorry to keep rambling but I barely had any sleep and just want to share what's been on my mind.

The whole night I was thinking about them talking and laughing in the car. She looking at him and slowly getting wet knowing she's with a real alpha male who she allows to be dominant over her. She wouldn't allow any man except for a real manly man with a strong personality.

I kept thinking of him gently brushing his hands against her legs and her simply allowing and inviting him to sample more. I masturbated so hard to this thought!

Is there something wrong with me? Or is this a new reality of who I truly am?

Any guidance would be extremely helpful!

[RetiredSnowbird]

Sorry to burst your bubble but, from what you’ve said, she is just not into you. It’s happened to all of us at one time or another. I suggest you not waste any more time on her and move on to someone who is more likely to show some attraction to you.

[hamadasamada88]

Thanks for your reply snowbird! Yeah I definitely know she's not into me at all. I'm just struggling to grasp how I'm feeling about the whole interaction and how it actually hurt but turned me on really really hard.

It's like it hit so hard and deep that I couldn't stop thinking about or jerking off to it.

Am I a cuck in the making? Should I embrace this?

Just a lot of confusion that I'm hoping someone can help me navigate

[truesub]

Seems you're just acting out your little cuck fantasy here. But giving you the benefit of the doubt, here’s some “navigation.”

She’s not into you. She’s not NOT into you. She’s on the fence, so she’s playing this typical pull-push game.

The easiest way to counter this would be to start ignoring her, without being demonstrative about, because being demonstrative is childish.

The less easy but more beneficial way would be to man up and start playing pull-push back. Like, flirting with other girls, dating, and generally growing a pair. One moment you "bond", the next you chat with someone else. Etc.

Girls are easy to play, and those inclined to such games are the easiest.

[hamadasamada88]

Hey truesub! This is really valuable feedback! Thank you so much for this.

She definitely has given some indication over the past few weeks that she was interested but then that interaction happened and derailed my entire thought process completely.

For a few months I've been embracing a very submissive side....I've paid a shit ton amount of money on onlyfans to have whoever was on the otherside to call me degrading names and fully dominate me verbally. It has resulted in an incredible sense of arousal but also a dangerous level of financial instability.

I like your advice about ignoring her without being demonstrative, which is hard to balance sometimes knowing my nature. But I'll give that a go!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and write this thoughtful reply