Sometimes I Get Jealous and Sad at Being Second to Him

[MartasBoy]

It's 1:00 in the morning, and I'm lying here in the guest bedroom unable to sleep. I can hear them in the master bedroom going at it again, with her making shrieks of ecstasy. Hearing her make sounds I have never heard her make with me. I'm holding my fully erect penis in my hand, and seeing the image in my mind of the last time I saw his penis, and how much bigger it is than mine. I'm there holding mine in my hand, squeezing and pulling on it, listening to the sounds of their carnal pleasure on the other side of the wall. I keep imagining that mine is still growing larger a little bit at a time, though I know it isn't.

If I believed in god, I would wonder why God chose to make that man's penis so large, and mine so small. I sometimes fantasize of a time when medical science might develop the ability to transplant a large penis on to my body, in place of my little one.

Holding mine in my hand, and remembering how much more is filled my hand, I feel a little jealous and sad. I also feel jealous and sad when my wife tells me he's coming over and I will need to move to the guest room. I get jealous that I have to move, and jealous that he can do things to her that I can't. But I know that it makes sense for me to step out of the way and let the two of them do the thing that they do so well together, that I can't do with her. I know it makes sense, and it wouldn't be right to interfere with it. My job is just to accept the way things are.

How do other people deal with these feelings?

[submissivedanny]

I guess at first I got a little jealous when my wife first started dating but I knew it was best for her because I was not able to satisfy her sexually because of my small dick. What really help when my wife found a guy she really liked and only sees him. They go away on weekends and for vacation and yes they fuck in our master bedroom while I sleep in the guest room. My wife's boyfriend is a really nice guy and we get along really good. Sometime me and him do things together and because we have a good friendly relationship together I love when he takes care of my wife sexually. I feel good when they go out on dates and my wife lets me help her pick out her outfits for her dates.

[Jujube]

Both of your situations really resonate with me. You are both powerless to change your situation, but it is that helplessness that is what’s driving your addiction to it. Even though it churns your entire being, it just feels right that this is your station in life. I bet both of your wives tease and torment you about it. Tell me everything! PM me if you’re too embarrassed to talk about it in this forum.

[MartasBoy]

You are powerless to change your situation, but it is that helplessness that is what’s driving your addiction to it.

Wow, you are right. I feel incredible feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. I want it to stop, yet I keep supporting it and feeding into it, like a moth drawn to a flame. I want to beg her to stop, but there are the little things I seem addicted to, like when she asks me if I would like to go shopping with her to pick out sexy lingerie or a dress and heels to wear for him, pangs of intense jealousy surge through my heart, yet I find myself jumping at the chance to go with her.

Even though it churns your entire being, it just feels right that this is your station in life.

But why does this happen? When I first married her, I was possessive of her. I never imagined in a million years that I would ever become accepting of her sleeping with other men. It feels right, but why? Exactly what is "my station"?

I bet both of your wives tease and torment you about it.

She didn't at first. She felt concerned about hurting my feelings, or harming my fragile male ego. But, over time she realized that I somehow get turned on by some of it. And I think he has had some influence on her somehow, I'm not sure how. Whenever she spends the weekend with him, she comes back different, more willing to tease me.

[Jujube]

I think it turns her on immensely to see your little dick get so hard and wet about her wanting to completely surrender herself completely to his maleness. She’s smug that she owns you and he owns her.

[ucaneffher]

It's 1:00 in the morning, and I'm lying here in the guest bedroom unable to sleep. I can hear them in the master bedroom going at it again, with her making shrieks of ecstasy. Hearing her make sounds I have never heard her make with me. I'm holding my fully erect penis in my hand, and seeing the image in my mind of the last time I saw his penis, and how much bigger it is than mine. I'm there holding mine in my hand, squeezing and pulling on it, listening to the sounds of their carnal pleasure on the other side of the wall. I keep imagining that mine is still growing larger a little bit at a time, though I know it isn't.

If I believed in god, I would wonder why God chose to make that man's penis so large, and mine so small. I sometimes fantasize of a time when medical science might develop the ability to transplant a large penis on to my body, in place of my little one.

Holding mine in my hand, and remembering how much more is filled my hand, I feel a little jealous and sad. I also feel jealous and sad when my wife tells me he's coming over and I will need to move to the guest room. I get jealous that I have to move, and jealous that he can do things to her that I can't. But I know that it makes sense for me to step out of the way and let the two of them do the thing that they do so well together, that I can't do with her. I know it makes sense, and it wouldn't be right to interfere with it. My job is just to accept the way things are.

How do other people deal with these feelings?

I figured that I wasn't alone in feeling this way from time to time. Although I'll be honest and tell you that I never felt this way when my girlfriend was out with fuck buddies countless nights over the years. I actually loved that she was out several weeknights every week, gone most weekends, away on vacation with lovers, and that there were nights that she only came home to freshen up after being with one man simply to leave again to see another one . It never bothered me and I actually encouraged her unconditionally to truly let go without feeling guilt of leaving me alone and behind while she was busy socializing and meeting men.

However, once she truly let go and stopped holding back, I started feeling left out but turned on nonetheless. I genuinely felt completely powerless when she finally decided to give her fuck buddy the opportunity to become her boyfriend. My voice no longer had as much weight, if any. His wants and needs took priority over mine. If he made plans with her, they took priority over mine even if I made plans or reservations well before him. His sexual needs were her priority while mine were not longer important to her. I became her second choice and second priority 100% of the time for well over three entire years.

The problem is that as a tad of a masochist, I asked her for that and encouraged it not thinking it would truly happen. Boy was I surprised when I could no longer take things back. Once the ball was rolling and the cat was out the box, she told me that she couldn't go back to normality and I should get used to things because that's how I wanted them.

It's a double edged sword to be turned on by something that causes hints of loneliness, hints of feeling neglect, hints of feeling less important. I hate that despite of experiencing those feelings, I still want it to continue that way. To some extent, jealous and neglect turn me on and it's most likely the reason why I allowed my ex to demote me while giving another man the complete right be her man and it's probably the reason why I would try it again with the hopes of a better outcome than the first time.

[coastalkid]

How long does it take until the jealousy and sadness do NOT provide that cuckold thrill? At what point do things become so anticipated and routine that there isn't the same "electrical charge" that there was when it was new? Would it be a success if you didn't feel any jealousy or have any sadness? As in, your wife does what she does and you no longer feel any jealousy because you aren't really in the "sexual" picture at all and you've accepted it?

Is it always something that you have to just "buck up" and live with? It always seems like there is either an attempt or committed effort to sincerely satisfy both people or it's a progression of escalations that lead to a breaking point.

If a wife's intention is to "train" her husband to be sullen, insecure, and resentful it isn't that difficult of a task to achieve. Monogamous women do this all the time. It doesn't require sex. To keep a cuckold happy may be trickier than most let on. If the whole lifestyle fails without having a participating cuckold then in ways it flips the script.

You always hear, "Happy wife, happy life!" In this lifestyle, "Happy cuck, happy wife!", is probably the unmentioned motto of successful couples. In the group, husband, wife and lover(s), the one person with the most likely to fail position will always be the husband. The wife and lover's job is easy by comparison, find someone compatible and off to fucking. The husband faces several emotional/mental/physical possibilities that could affect the success of the attempt.

I keep believing that the women that know they have it good and want to keep their good thing going know they need to keep their husband happy or it falls apart. Otherwise, it's a wild ass ride with a big crash at the end. What do I know anyway? I'm smoking weed and having fun thinking about it!

[Loserpaul]

Both of your situations really resonate with me. You are both powerless to change your situation, but it is that helplessness that is what’s driving your addiction to it. Even though it churns your entire being, it just feels right that this is your station in life. I bet both of your wives tease and torment you about it. Tell me everything! PM me if you’re too embarrassed to talk about it in this forum.

This is how I came to feel in the end. At first I guess I was jealous, upset and increasingly frustrated. Why did she want to have sex with other men more and more but less and less with me? Of course, in my heart I knew the answer, it was because they satisfied her sexually more than I ever could.

But in the end I heighten her sexual pleasures in other ways by being her cuck. I accept my lot. I am pussyfree now and all I have is masturbation and, of course, she often teases me about it. Her teasing both frustrates and thrills me. It makes me cum harder when I jerk off. Just little sarcastic asides can be enough to turn me on. Simply her casually announcing her boyfriend is coming over, so I will need to sleep in the spare room, looking at me with a knowing smile and making a teasing hand gesture of male masturbation before laughing and turning away - more than enough to ensure I spend most of the night jerking off, listening to them fucking next door. It is just what's meant to be.

[Jujube]

I agree with coastalkid, in that if the cuck feels totally defeated, that can eventually lead to apathy, resentment, and a kind of numbness to his situation. That’s why his hotwife should endeavor to keep her cuck involved and excited about the way things are. Her cuck may be pussy free, but there are lots of ways she can be intimate with him. It’s a fine line she has to walk so everyone is happy.

[coastalkid]

I agree with coastalkid, in that if the cuck feels totally defeated, that can eventually lead to apathy, resentment, and a kind of numbness to his situation. That’s why his hotwife should endeavor to keep her cuck involved and excited about the way things are. Her cuck may be pussy free, but there are lots of ways she can be intimate with him. It’s a fine line she has to walk so everyone is happy.

Thank you!

It seems like everyone gets a thrill from the wife/gf having NO responsibility for ANYTHING other than pursuing her own happiness and satisfaction. They love reading about wives/gfs becoming self-obsessed wanton sluts. They love the restrictions, the humiliation, the self-perception that they are inadequate.

Unfortunately, the there is NO thrill in discussing the realities associated with the responsibilities of the power exchange that naturally occurs. To become financially secure to enjoy the freedom to do as you please requires work and responsible behavior. You earn that freedom. That's what makes the rewards of home ownership, taking nice vacations and having nice things valued and appreciated. If you want and value those things you HAVE to work to have them.

It's easy to take for granted the things that you don't have to work for. The things that you don't have to work for always have a diminished value, they are of lesser importance. It strikes me as odd that this is so often ignored in the cuckold/hot wife world. By default the wife/gf assumes MORE responsibility even if that responsibility is unacknowledged. It's not any different than the unmentioned responsibilities a owning a home like painting or keeping up the yard. If a wife/gf doesn't have to work to maintain her freedom to do as she pleases than it is unearned and ultimately taken for granted and at risk of loss.

It's just no fun to talk about wanton wives/gfs that keep their shit together by being aware enough to realize the importance of all the players in the game. It's by far much more interesting to read about wives/gfs that follow the ubiquitous progression of escalation that results in having an asexual roommate for a husband/bf. In all the years I've been on this website very few have shown me that they are concerned with the full dynamics and sustainability instead of an end point.