Hopeful for hotwife lifestyle

[notatissuebox]

Been married over 10 years and I often fantasize about my wife having sex with other men. I'm at a point where I would let her do it.

I've shared this fantasy with my wife in the past, but I don't think she knows how much I would let her do. We haven't explored the fantasy much, other than fantasizing a little with a dildo.

I'm not sure if she would ever want to sleep with other men, and I'm scared to push this further with her. On the plus side, I've been enjoying watching her take a big dildo and cumming harder than she ever could with me..

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum notatissuebox.

[Wantsomefunto]

Using a dildo larger than you is a great way to have her mind enjoy the different feeling. Talk to her how hot she is to boost her confidence and then tell her how much you wish she would try a bigger guy.

[athlete915]

Welcome to OHW! I hope you find it to be an encouraging and supportive environment.

You've already taken two significant steps: admitting it to yourself and to your wife. Many men struggle with the former, and even more never come close to the second. That's great, and you should feel a sense of accomplishment.

Introducing the larger dildo was a great next step. Not only did it introduce a third element into the bedroom, but your wife has been able to directly experience the pleasure difference that comes with a larger size. I'm also sure it helped confirm your desire for her to experience more sexual pleasure than you're able to provide.

So, where do you go from here? First, I want you to know that exploring further doesn't commit you to anything. I'm sure your sex life now is better than it was before you told her and before she started to use the dildo. There's still plenty for you two to explore, short of her actually sleeping with someone else. So, take it easy, test the waters slowly, and enjoy the ride. Maybe it will end with her sleeping with someone else, or perhaps it will just be some fun fantasy play.

In practical terms, one thing that you could do is to personify her dildo. Instead of it just being a tool, make it a "third." You could name it. You could even give it a backstory. It could be a fantasy partner or you could even connect to someone in your life (friend, personal trainer, etc).

I found out after the fact that my second couple had a dildo they named after me and had been role-playing with for a couple of months before we slept together.

In the meantime, I would recommend that you spend some time thinking about what you actually want. Yes, you want your wife to be with another man, but that's the starting point. For example, do you have a specific guy or type of guy in mind? Are you looking for something long-term or short-term? Would you like to watch? What are your must-haves, want-to-haves, topics of uncertainty, and red lines? You want to think through that stuff now, so if and when you and your wife discuss them, you already have an idea of what you want.

Finally, I would recommend that you bring up your fantasy out of the bedroom. When you're in the bedroom and playing, it's easy for her to play it off as just a fantasy. Bringing it up out of the bedroom can help it feel more "real." One option would be to ask her when you're out if she finds particularly attractive. You can tease her and ask if she thinks he's as big as her dildo.

The goal is to break down the wall between your bedroom talk and your day-to-day lives.

I hope that was helpful. Welcome once again, and I wish you all the luck. I'm happy to discuss any of this or anything else for that matter further.

[notatissuebox]

Thanks for the warm welcome! There is definitely a lot to think about, and at the very least we have open and honest communication without judgment.

For now I will explore the posts on this site and keep the communication open.