"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[chris35]

The Obvious: He gets off on his pretty wife getting ravaged by another guy's big dick and seeing how much excitement and satisfication it brings her.

I agreed watching the wife getting sexual pleasure from another man, and her giving sexual pleasure to the other man is very sexy.


It just a very erotic experience sharing the wife with other guys.

[cyrodil]

As an outsider to the hotwife/cuck/poly culture, I'm more or less just curious why men would want their wife to have relationships with other men but NOT have relationships with other women themselves. I understand open relationships, and have had friends that have successfully had them, but I just don't get this lifestyle, I suppose. Anyone want to clarify this point for me?

[groovy9]

As an outsider to the hotwife/cuck/poly culture, I'm more or less just curious why men would want their wife to have relationships with other men but NOT have relationships with other women themselves. I understand open relationships, and have had friends that have successfully had them, but I just don't get this lifestyle, I suppose. Anyone want to clarify this point for me?

Some of us *would* like them, and some do have them. Personally, I always say I look at the idea of having a girlfriend the same way I look at going sky diving. Sure, it'd be a damn hoot, but it's just not anywhere near the top of my wish list.

If you're a guy who enjoys the idea of his wife getting freaky MORE than the idea of himself getting freaky, and your wife isn't comfy with the idea of you getting freaky, you wind up with hotwifery.

[will7268]

Personally, being on the cuckold side of the fence, the idea of my very sexy wife sleeping around with sexually 'superior' men while I remain faithful and feel lucky to welcome her home, just pushes some psychological buttons that give me thrill unlike any other. It's not the same for everyone, but for me it's like stroking an exposed nerve, which in this case is some kind of deep insecurity and related submissiveness. That's probably not as 'healthy' a reason as many others who enjoy it, but it does provide fertile ground for incredibly enjoyable fantasizing.

[mrexcite]

Just thought I'd chime in on the topic and share my blog with everyone along with some of my thoughts. I've fantasized about this for years and often wondered why I have this crazy fantasy. I still haven't quite figured it out, but I've had this on my mind for so long along with my addiction to porn that I've actually created a website and a blog about it. My blog shares my past experiences which has contributed to my desire to let my wife sleep with other guys, but ultimately I don't think this is the whole reasoning behind my crazy fantasy. Aside from my blog I will share with you some of my thoughts on what I think triggers this crazy fantasy in the males mind.

You can check my blog out here at http://www.excitespace.com/index.php?do=/blog/

I've not updated it lately. Actually about 10 years behind on the story, but it does have most of my story up to just before meeting wife (the love of my life) of 10+ years now. When I get a chance I'll be updating to where I'm currently at in my life experience on the topic, but aside that I would like to say that I believe that this desire is actually a combination of nature along with an imbalance of the brain. It's just like wild game competing for the same female. Just a natural thing that's been closed off to the human mind for so many years that it's been a forbidden topic. I bet that cave men would compete and have sex with the same female. Just a male dominance thing and I think that's why men are comfortable doing another guys girl in front of him.

Now on the imbalance side of things. I believe that there are a couple of factors here. One being that a man ultimately feels that he can not pleasure his female partner and give her the satisfaction she deserves so he offers her to a younger more dominant stud that can give her what she needs. This is kind of like all of the wild game that compete for the female where ultimately all step back and watch the more dominant bull give her what she needs 'submissive'. Now in todays time the natural side of things have been an off topic thing so not too many people think about that. We've had so many different values and things taught to us over the years that the nature of sex is not truly natural. With that another thought that I have is that with what we've been taught when this topic does come into play this triggers an imbalance in the males brain 'Jealousy'.

Jealousy is what has been etched into our brains since the beginning of time when it comes to sex and when a dominant males jealousy is aroused because of something pertaining to sex it triggers a defense in the brain telling him to defend, or dominate. With a submissive male when his jealousy is triggered his brain tells him to step down thus he allows the more dominant male to pleasure her. Imbalance of the brain? Nature? It's all confusing, but in todays time I'm going to go with an imbalance of the brain. I know when these thoughts are in my mind I kind of feel jealous, but I end up getting aroused and turned on by the idea of watching her get pleasured by someone else.

All that said, I would love to hear from someone who specializes in the brain and how it functions on the topic at hand. Maybe they can explain whats going on in our heads so we can understand a little better. Anyone know if there's a place to look for this information? I know there's a lot of guys out there including myself that would like to explain this to their significant other and be able to provide them with some true facts about their crazy sexual fantasies.

To sum it up, I won't leave out the most important thing here and that's my wife. With all of these thoughts in my head it really all boils down to that she's the most beautiful woman in the world to me and I feel she deserves nothing more than the best of everything including sex even if it's with another guy. I read one post here where someone talked about being able to watch his girl being pleasured and I have to say that I'm definitely with you and anyone else on that.

Don't forget to check out my blog as I will share with everyone my journey the road to wanting a hotwife how it began and where it's lead me. There I'll be sharing all of my experiences to date including anything from emotions, experiences and so on. Hope you enjoy my post and my blog!

[want2watch]

After lurking here for sometime, I finally decided to join some of the conversation and thought that this was as good a place as any to start. It's probably the best place to start actually. "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man?" That is a very good question and one that I still haven't quite figured out completely myself. I know you don't have to explain it to the Hotwife husbands and wannabes like myself. We know that on some level it can't be explained, but we understand. So for the guys not into this lifestyle it's a little more difficult for them to grasp the concept. As someone who doesn't quite have his own fascination with the topic figured out 100% I would simply tell them that voyeurism does play it's part. Having her on top is my favorite position not only because she gets to control the action, but more importantly because I get to lye back and watch her. Unfortunately, probably for just this reason, I also don't last very long in this position. But I know that there is more to this obsession than just the voyeuristic aspect. Because if this was the only reason, I should be able to quench my needs by simply watching sex tapes we have made. But this doesn't even begin to to satisfy the need. After more soul searching I've realized that another large attraction is the taboo nature of the act. You're not supposed to do this.

Although I can't say that I am into the cuckold or humiliation aspect of the lifestyle, I do see where others would be into it. For me the thought of her being taken from me and my having to reclaim her as mine has no particular fascination. At least not on a conscious level. I prefer to think of it as sharing her. Not having her taken from me or me giving her like some kind of possession. So, to explain it to someone who doesn't share our obsession with this lifestyle I would simply say that you have to think of it on it's most basic level. You have to think of it as a fetish. We all, for reasons sometimes not even clear to ourselves, have our own little kinks that turn us on.

For the guys who are into this lifestyle, there is no need to explain. Even if we can't explain it 100% ourselves, we get it.

[roadrunner]

After lurking here for sometime, I finally decided to join some of the conversation and thought that this was as good a place as any to start.
...

Welcome! Thanks for joining the conversation. Hope to hear more from you soon! Maybe I could talk you into starting a new thread and telling up where you stand?

[flhtci]

excellent posting ,,, you went a lng way to explain my feelings about the HW LIFESTYLE.

Why would a sane, rational man want his wife to fuck another man?

The above question is a commonly asked question to those who've just heard of this lifestyle. The uninitiated think the answers are simple. The husband is a latent homosexual. The husband doesn't love his wife and is hoping to "bait" her into a divorce by dumping her off on another man. Or maybe the husband wants to fuck other woman and this is the lever he will use to get his wife to allow that. These are the big three themes but in any event the primary assumption is that the husband is being anything but honest and merely using his wife's promiscuity as a deception-based tool for him to achieve some unstated goal that the wife would normally not be agreeable too.

The truth is that the above stated assumption is rarely the case. Is it sometimes? I've no doubt. If the internet tells us one thing it's that there are very few limits to the human experience. But again, those are the exceptions. The truth? Well, it's a bit more complicated than that....but is much less Machiavellian.

So what is the truth?

Well, the truth is that usually the husband really does want to see his wife fuck others. The truth is that the husband rarely has any significant interest in other women. As for that latent homosexuality thing? Eh, sometimes, but that's generally not a real motivator but rather a fringe benefit for those so inclined.

So what are the motivations? They are as varied as the people who enter into the lifestyle but there are common themes. Will I address these themes? Not directly. Rather than profess to speak for all what I endeavor to do here is express MY motivations (and they are both numerous and dependent upon my mood). Beyond that, I would invite other individuals in the lifestyle to present their observations and motivations with the thought that a more complete and meaningful consensus may be formed.

Why I encourage my wife to fuck other men... Sheesh! Typing that gives me flashbacks to 7th Grade English and assignments like "What I did on my summer vacation!" In any event, I'm going to give you, the reader, several thoughts of mine on this topic. My appologies if they are sometimes contradictory and/or not always organized. We're dealing with the human mind and emotions; contradictions and chaos go with the territory.

I like to see my wife fuck other men because I am voyeuristic in nature. The most common expression of my voyeuristic nature is watching porn. I like porn. Most guys do! But what's better than watching porn? Watching real life sex, of course. Why settle for crappy video with a terrible sound track if you can get real live people to have sex in front of you? Now what's even better than a live sex show? A live sex show with the most beautiful woman in the world, of course! And yes, I consider my wife the most beautiful woman in the world. Sure, I'm biased but it doesn't change the allure of watching that magnificent woman get off. What's that, you say? Why don't I just watch her while I have sex with her? It just doesn't work well for me. For starters, there are "camera angles" that a participant can never see. Too, the sensations running through my own body make it difficult (have you ever tried to watch and appreciate somebody else while YOU were having an orgasm?). OK, enough discussion of that angle.

It makes my wife feel beautiful/sexy. Let's face it, men, making your wife feel beautiful/sexy isn't easy after years of marriage. You may tell her that she's beautiful but does she really believe you? If you're me, you're biased and she knows it so hearing "you're beautiful" from me doesn't exactly convince her. What absolutely, positively convinces her that she's beautiful/sexy is some quasi-random guy pursuing her and fucking her brains out. Then she knows that other guys find her beautiful and sexy and that does great things for both her self esteem and her libido. Short version? She ends up feeling better about herself and I get laid a lot more. No losers there!

There are some things one guy simply can not do! I'm a considerate lover and I want my wife to have the most fun and the most powerful orgasms she can have. Most men do, right? But what if it turns out that what really gets her motor running is a guy eating her out while another guy sucks her nipples? One guy simply can not do that; anatomy forbid it (baring siamese twins!). If your wife is such a woman (and mine is), then the only way to really rock her world is to accept help from an outside source. Not every man is confident/comfortable doing so, but I am. Thus another guy allows me to give her sexual experiences that she could otherwise never have.

But most of all, I encourage my wife having sex with others because it is fun.




And with that, I turn the podium over to others who may wish to add to my thoughts.

[flhtci]

THATS A SUPER COOL WAY OF LOOKING AT IT !!

The bar is reset. She comes back a new woman. I must fuck her again to call her mine. Each time she is with another my balls build to explosion and when she comes home I reclaim her as my new wife.

Do not want to sound like a chauvinists but yes there is that too, well put.

[tresm55]

Nice topic and thread. Why we do it, is that its adventurous, perks us up and we both know she wants it once in a while. She gets a kick out of it and turns her on.

[sillyguy25]

I watched how turned on she gets around this guy we met at a parents/teacher meeting for our older daughter. He's a single dad raising a boy and I have to admit he's a really good looking guy. The chemistry between them is unbelievable and such a turn-on to watch.

[DBR31]

... Because: I get excited by it. She gets excited by it. I love her having pleasure. She loves me having pleasure from it. She loves having pleasure from it. Huge ego booster and motivates her self-care and exercise. It helps to settle male/male competition issues and creates a more cooperative erotic life. The whole mindset is something like a multidimensional vibrator...

Exactly! You hit it dead-center on target! Nothing is hotter than seeing her in ectasty or savoring memories of the events while she describes them to me. I get to se her as a sexual being, a loving wife, and of course my lover as well.

[sillyguy25]

the thought of her... with him. dressed like a slut. begging for it. pleading with me to let you see him even as I twist in mishmash of jealousy, rage, and horniness. not caring anyway because you're falling love with him. sucking his cock anytime he wants. Doing ALL the things for Him that you know I wish and beg for.

[Chalmer]

Personally, being on the cuckold side of the fence, the idea of my very sexy wife sleeping around with sexually 'superior' men while I remain faithful and feel lucky to welcome her home, just pushes some psychological buttons that give me thrill unlike any other. It's not the same for everyone, but for me it's like stroking an exposed nerve, which in this case is some kind of deep insecurity and related submissiveness. That's probably not as 'healthy' a reason as many others who enjoy it, but it does provide fertile ground for incredibly enjoyable fantasizing.

this seems similar to my reasons. but i think there's more to it. when i try to think of why i fanatisize about this, i can't help but think of men with supped-up cars. they have these beautiful cars and they take them to these spots where other men bring their cars and some men just come to look at the cars. most of these men raise the hood and open the doors so everyone can get a good look at these amazing cars, but their are even a few who let other men take their cars out for a quick spin so they can truly experience these wonderful vehicles that they possess. i have had few successes in my life, but somehow attracting and marrying these wonderful woman is one of them and i want everyman to know how wonderful she is and i think that requires more than just a peek under the hood.

[sillyguy25]

hitting a nerve... you can say that again. A fantasy/fetish that just drives me crazy, just so nasty! Lot's of my past experiences have shaped it over the years. Yes, submissiveness and that 'special' humiliation (name calling, scolding and laughing etc) boy it's a charge!! And the challenge is always getting in sync with my wife who is like the perfect MILF. And of course the most important ingredient for me is LOVE, the contridiction and surrender of even allowing oneself to admit that i want my wife to take a lover and do everything and anything that she pleases. That she would let me be a part of it.... well that's up to her.

But it remains as it has for a long time. A naughty dream that make me want her so much more each day.

[NaplesDavie]

It's because how it's turned out!

My wife took to fucking another man as I watched and stroked with great ease. She loved it. She loves cock, loves sucking cock and fucking and this took our sex life up several levels. I was slow to realize that inside she truly is a slut. She took on the third guy, her first uncut cock, by riding him on our sofa, her back to me. For the first time I realized that I was being cucked. She completely ignored me. It was as though I wasn't even in the room. I, however, came in my hand as I watched her juices slip down his fat cock as she rode him up and down, up and down.

A couple of times it has been hard for me seeing her so turned on by another man's cock then passionately kissing him good night. Always she has come to me, repeating she loves only me, loves my big cock most but does indeed love fucking other men and thanks me with uninhibited sex for allowing her to fuck others.

I seriously feel she needs this hot adultrious behavior as it makes her hotter for me, more overtly sexual towards me in the weeks after a fuck buddy has pleasured her. As for me, the hottest sex in the world is fucking her right after another guy and in the weeks after as when we fuck she looks in my eyes and asks, "How do you like fucking your slut wife?" Jesus.

-davie

[cum4me2]

I love reading thru some of the older threads... One I get taken back and also see some names of people that have long since gone away and I wonder where and why.
Strangely I have never commented on this thread...Hmmm, wonder if there's some deep dark psychological reason why not???
Maybe I will collect my thoughts and add my reasonings why I want Miss Donna to sleep, well actually fuck other men...

[MrPepeLePew]

Hotwifing for me is a range of very powerful emotions and feelings all jammed together and hitting me at once, part of the reason I find it hard to verbalize when speaking about it. I do get the sense that the female sex drive in general (and especially my wife's) is continually repressed and discouraged by society mainly. When I read about the female need to have multiple sex partners while the man remains faithfully monogamous, it resonates as simple truth to me.

Given the above, I'll attempt to laundry list the things I find positive about it:
- Bonding opportunities to both shop for the wife's clothing and accessories as well as physically helping prepare her for dates (dressing, makeup, shaving, advice on what's hot, etc.).
- Hot entertainment when witnessing the wife being picked up on (pride in her attractiveness)
- Her smile and unwavering attention on someone other than yourself that she's attracted to. When I saw her unblinking gaze as she stared into the eyes and shook the hand of a fb prospect we later decided would be able to fuck her, gave me goosebumps).
- releasing the conservative, vanilla personality and watching it slowly bloom into a hot smoldering temptress.
- rekindling the feeling of that "new" relationship, not only by rediscovering ourselves but also discovering her new fb
- Re-entering the world of dating without the added pressure of finding the perfect mate. We are able to ignore the qualities normally looked for in a new relationship and focus on the more seductive, basic physical desires that often take a back seat in relationships.
- Watching her become more of a person for me to win back - someone in-demand by other men but who chooses to come back to me
- The opportunity to renew her self-confidence by being told by multiple men that she is desirable (hubby's opinion means little as it's "expected" he will say those things).
- The benefit of the other men not only instigating sex with her but also the evidence she receives when they are truly aroused and satisfied, receiving their cum - boosts her self-confidence.
- Seeing lethargic and passive women suddenly taking an aggressive interest in improving their bodies, appearance, etc. is exhilarating. Instead of the usual shorts and t-shirts they dress in skirts, dresses, heels and other hot attire that makes them feel sexy about themselves. The makeup is varied. Instead of dressing for other women to gain social approval (which is sad in many ways) she dresses for other men, feeling sexy and desired.
- The self-confidence and independence to openly admit to her husband which man she finds attractive and the willingness to start initiating meetings herself (hot).
- The role-play involved in acting like a single again, being picked up on by guys at bars and the anticipation of new activities with new men
- Being pursued with sexually satisfying results makes her feel young and alive again, like the world is new
- An increasing desire to explore the world, to get out of her box and escape some deep-seeded and emotional insecurities placed upon by others (and herself) over the years

I'll stop there. Given the above, you can start to see why explaining this complex lifestyle becomes quite difficult to pin down. That with the added intensity of some of the strongest sexual desires I've experienced before make it all the more confusing to wrap your head around.

[Busterfun]

VERY nicely done. Some much of what you wrote fits our situation perfectly. Thank you.

[winker]

Wow MrPepeLePew. That has got to be one of the best explanations I've ever read and is so spot on with my feelings that I think I can finally almost explain it so it makes sense.

Thank you!!!

[rdhdlvr2]

Jelousy and excitement are almost the same emotion. My gut shiver when i think about it .

[jmsjmsus]

I must be the weird one. I am maybe a little selfish but I love the hot sex every night two weeks before and two weeks after an encounter. I love laying in bed getting the details of a night out with a fb while she is sucking me. I love watching her make out with him, culminating with an orgasm while wrapped around his cock. It has done nothing but strengthen our bod while creating a lot of hot sex. It isn't finite. Instead of her having sex with another guy meaning you have less, you both have more. Always

[MrPepeLePew]

I must be the weird one. I am maybe a little selfish but I love the hot sex every night two weeks before and two weeks after an encounter.

I totally agree - the wife and I have ramped up our sex lives ten fold - even when we're not having sex, we're attracted to each other and rubbing on each other. Anyone who says hotwifing only benefits the lady hasn't ever experienced it before.

[Puro-chile]

I must be the weird one. I am maybe a little selfish but I love the hot sex every night two weeks before and two weeks after an encounter. I love laying in bed getting the details of a night out with a fb while she is sucking me. I love watching her make out with him, culminating with an orgasm while wrapped around his cock. It has done nothing but strengthen our bod while creating a lot of hot sex. It isn't finite. Instead of her having sex with another guy meaning you have less, you both have more. Always

I wholeheartedly agree with this, the bond between us is closer than ever! It is a "high" that no other drug can give you!

[xxxy]

For years I have been driving myself crazy and probing every corner of my psyche to find an answer to this question. Today I read this entire thread and have come to understand there may be as many reasons as there are people in the lifestyle. But here are a few that resonate for me.

My wife and I had one experience several years ago, and for me it was the most fantastic sex of my life. We met a guy out of town and spent an afternoon in a motel room where I watched her perform and totally enjoy every aspect of sex with our new friend. There was no doubt of her physical pleasure as her back arched and her nipples stood at attention for her multiple orgasms. Charlie was magnificent. He was patient and sensitive and had a beautiful cock that stayed hard until after about 3 or 4 hours the cum exploded all over her. It only happened that one time and she is now reluctant to try again, despite the fact that her pleasure was undeniable, and our sex life for years afterwards was fantastic.

So I have spent many hours since then, even with some professional help, trying to understand why I enjoyed this experience so much. Here are some of my conclusions:
1) She always was a great wife and mother and certainly not a bad sex partner, but seeing her enjoy sex without any attachment or attraction to her partner gave me a new vision of her. She was never more beautiful than when this stranger's cock was positioned on her labia and paused momentarily before its advance into her. There was a certain purity in eroticism for its own sake. She might have had some reservations, although she never showed or expressed any, but when her body was climaxing from the stimulation of his cock probing deeply within her, there was no trace of any inhibition. She had become purely a sexual being;
2) I think I belong to the humiliation camp of this lifestyle. There is a kind of passive domination, that I enjoyed when I was sat on the sidelines and watched my wife pull a strange cock out of the other guy's pants, take it into her mouth, willingly spread her legs and then welcomed his cock into her pussy; AND
3) Although I do enjoy sex as a participant, I have come to believe I have some fear of intimacy and enjoy sex vicariously when she has given herself totally to the other guy.

For me, all of these may be related to each other, but I am not yet able to find the unifying theory or an underlying reason. I am still searching.