Done except for your first post which was left there and copied here.Samanthasman wrote:Please move any comments to me to the thread "Also Newbie!!!" to be considerate to Othello. And, no, I'm not Othello.
MrsTruckStar - thank you for responses. I've never read Othello, but have always wanted to.
Much of the rest of your comments confuse me. There is no fiction in anything I have written. I sincerely want useful feedback on my specific situation and feedback on fiction would be useless.
You and some others have said "you have no plan... End game... Communication... Etc" and I guess I don't understand. I've documented, in these forums, rules, agreements, and endless hours of what I believe is truely open and honest communication with my wife. I'm confused.
Is not the end game to explore relationships and sexual adventures that spice up the marriage? When one is done to move on to the next? In some cases explore multiple at the same time? Is not the end game to grow old together, but with a little smirk our our faces?
Samantha Getting Started
Re: Down the rabbit hole...
Only a fool test the depth of the water with both feet.
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.
Read the rules: app.php/rules
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.
Read the rules: app.php/rules
Re: Down the rabbit hole...
Not even close to each other.Steve1x1 wrote:Wonder what the odds are othelo and samanthasman are the same
Only a fool test the depth of the water with both feet.
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.
Read the rules: app.php/rules
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.
Read the rules: app.php/rules
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jacknjuls
Re: Also Newbie!!!
Nope.dsmcouple22 wrote:Wait - what? Your wife agreed to give up custody of the kids in case she does leave? So you have part of an action plan in place if she leaves? Am I one of the few that can't get past this and totally expects this to end in failure and pain?
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BallSpanking
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
Samantha's marriage is as 'out there' as many others that frequent this forum, and it is hard to determine what is right for them, because every couple is unique in their types of needs, their particular sexual conventions and kinks.
What would be a redline to one couple might be well in-bounds for a different marriage.
A forum could be giving you their best advice, but only you know the bounds of permissiveness in your relationship. Considered advice isn't necessarily gospel, but it can be a cautionary note.
Samantha is perfectly suited to play the role of a HW, her body pulls in men everywhere she goes, and if all bounds are lifted, she may stray too far to ever fully come back, or, she may come back thankful and more fulfilled (or pregnant). But she is able to pick from the cream of men, because she has what they want in a woman. This will expose her to frequent and intimate fucking with Alpha males, who may satisfy more of her needs as a woman, than you. But that is a risk that is inherent to all HotWifing, and the results depend more on the nature and strength of the bond between the husband and the wife that determines the ability to surmount that challenge to their marriage.
Some marriages become liberated, some fail, and some go in other directions.
What would be a redline to one couple might be well in-bounds for a different marriage.
A forum could be giving you their best advice, but only you know the bounds of permissiveness in your relationship. Considered advice isn't necessarily gospel, but it can be a cautionary note.
Samantha is perfectly suited to play the role of a HW, her body pulls in men everywhere she goes, and if all bounds are lifted, she may stray too far to ever fully come back, or, she may come back thankful and more fulfilled (or pregnant). But she is able to pick from the cream of men, because she has what they want in a woman. This will expose her to frequent and intimate fucking with Alpha males, who may satisfy more of her needs as a woman, than you. But that is a risk that is inherent to all HotWifing, and the results depend more on the nature and strength of the bond between the husband and the wife that determines the ability to surmount that challenge to their marriage.
Some marriages become liberated, some fail, and some go in other directions.
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
Folks - there is a zero percent chance that anyone is giving up custody. That's just her way of saying "Honey, don't worry, there is no way I'll ever leave you". Like some others I struggle with wanting her to have these experience but not wanting to screw up our marriage. She knows this is the struggle within me. She really is working hard to make this work: totally transparent and open communication, agreed to rules, boundaries, etc., including me in various ways in her adventures.
Seems to be working. She's having a blast. We're having a blast.
She is open to sharing her story. She almost went thru thus tonite, but had some other things to do. Although she has not read this blog, I have told her most of what's in here, and she thinks I left out an important detail. She actually has had a BF before in our marriage. Long before we ever knew what HWing was, we had experimented with an ex BF that she saw from time to time over 10 years - infrequently, but over a long period of time.
That relationship sort of faded away, and then in December we both had a RE-awakening as we learned about HWing, Ashley Madison and this blog. For the first time in my life I realized my fantasy was shared by others and my mind shifted from trying to suppress this to exploring ways to embrace this. When my wife agreed to explore Ashley Madison and started going on dates, I started this thread (actually. I just replied to another thread and the moderator created this new thread) seeking advice.
So... Although I think of us as newbies, and started this discussion as such, my wife would argue that we have experimented with this before - successfully - and the difference is that now we know what to call it, have rules and boundaries around it, and are exploring it in a bigger way (multiple men and more frequency), but in her mind this is a new chapter to an existing book.
It was not my intension to mislead anyone here, by the way, and I apologize to anyone that feels like I mislead you with an omission. I'll try to get Samantha on here to tell the rest of her side.
Seems to be working. She's having a blast. We're having a blast.
She is open to sharing her story. She almost went thru thus tonite, but had some other things to do. Although she has not read this blog, I have told her most of what's in here, and she thinks I left out an important detail. She actually has had a BF before in our marriage. Long before we ever knew what HWing was, we had experimented with an ex BF that she saw from time to time over 10 years - infrequently, but over a long period of time.
That relationship sort of faded away, and then in December we both had a RE-awakening as we learned about HWing, Ashley Madison and this blog. For the first time in my life I realized my fantasy was shared by others and my mind shifted from trying to suppress this to exploring ways to embrace this. When my wife agreed to explore Ashley Madison and started going on dates, I started this thread (actually. I just replied to another thread and the moderator created this new thread) seeking advice.
So... Although I think of us as newbies, and started this discussion as such, my wife would argue that we have experimented with this before - successfully - and the difference is that now we know what to call it, have rules and boundaries around it, and are exploring it in a bigger way (multiple men and more frequency), but in her mind this is a new chapter to an existing book.
It was not my intension to mislead anyone here, by the way, and I apologize to anyone that feels like I mislead you with an omission. I'll try to get Samantha on here to tell the rest of her side.
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
So.. Tonite Samantha is planning to sleep with Sid. She is feeling both excitement and hesitation. Although she has had plenty of experience with men when single, she has also always been a serial monogamist and sleeping with yet another guy is making her feel a little slutty.
We talked a lot about it, and she's decided to go forward and booked a room at a hotel.
Personally, I'm hoping that sleeping with Sid will temper her infatuation with Bill, and I've told her that. My theory is that she'll realize that it was easy for her to find both of them and that she can enjoy there company and the sex without putting all her emotional energy into one guy (as she always has based on being a serial monogamist)
Frankly neither of us know how this new dynamic will feel, but we are talking about it openly and honestly and working thru it one day at a time.
We talked a lot about it, and she's decided to go forward and booked a room at a hotel.
Personally, I'm hoping that sleeping with Sid will temper her infatuation with Bill, and I've told her that. My theory is that she'll realize that it was easy for her to find both of them and that she can enjoy there company and the sex without putting all her emotional energy into one guy (as she always has based on being a serial monogamist)
Frankly neither of us know how this new dynamic will feel, but we are talking about it openly and honestly and working thru it one day at a time.
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
Please update us when you can, I hope she has a great time!
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
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bubbajack
Re: Also Newbie!!!
I like the idea of defusing (so to speak) the infatuation bomb by transcending rather than attacking the narrow "serial monogamy" logic of her sexual history. That logic (with all the correspondences to it in her feeling and action) is already inapplicable here, as your post implies, since she is now fucking two men alternately - naughty girl! 
But one can understand how a longstanding pattern of expectations and habits of thought and action could hang over into her current objective situation - it is not hard to imagine her monogamy-committed brain demanding that Bill's cock in her pussy be justified on the basis of the serial monogamist's theme song, "At long last, Love" - even if there is a different tune actually playing -
I do not underestimate (and I don't think you underestimate) the dangers to your marriage which are implicit in the Bill thing; however, I do think it is worth a try to get Sid (and others
) fucking her as a way for her to find a way to replace her habitual self-view as a "faithful" person 
with a new way to integrate exciting sexual experiences into her life.
After all, the existential risks to women - especially married women - of being thought by men in our society to be promiscuous are not trivial, which is one reason that monogamy and serial monogamy have such a powerful hold on women's minds.
But you don't simply tell people that their strongly-held (and apparently to them useful) beliefs are wrong if you want them to gain a different, broader perspective. Instead, you lead them as gently as possible to have actual experiences which show their former mind-set to be inadequate to disclose all the truth and beauty that is there to be experienced down the road you want them to travel.
Good luck, though. There is nothing quite so gripping to people's minds as "explanations" which are in fact logical and coherent to them, even though based on inadequate data.
But one can understand how a longstanding pattern of expectations and habits of thought and action could hang over into her current objective situation - it is not hard to imagine her monogamy-committed brain demanding that Bill's cock in her pussy be justified on the basis of the serial monogamist's theme song, "At long last, Love" - even if there is a different tune actually playing -
I do not underestimate (and I don't think you underestimate) the dangers to your marriage which are implicit in the Bill thing; however, I do think it is worth a try to get Sid (and others
) fucking her as a way for her to find a way to replace her habitual self-view as a "faithful" person with a new way to integrate exciting sexual experiences into her life.After all, the existential risks to women - especially married women - of being thought by men in our society to be promiscuous are not trivial, which is one reason that monogamy and serial monogamy have such a powerful hold on women's minds.
But you don't simply tell people that their strongly-held (and apparently to them useful) beliefs are wrong if you want them to gain a different, broader perspective. Instead, you lead them as gently as possible to have actual experiences which show their former mind-set to be inadequate to disclose all the truth and beauty that is there to be experienced down the road you want them to travel.
Good luck, though. There is nothing quite so gripping to people's minds as "explanations" which are in fact logical and coherent to them, even though based on inadequate data.
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
We both agree that Sid is an experiment.
If he's awesome, she will want more and have to balance her time between 2 men.
If he's a dud, she's still got a full dance card going with Bill.
If he's spectacular, then maybe Bill fades away and I've got a new and even more formidable BF to worry about.
...Just to make things even more interesting, an old BF, Al, from the past called her out of the blue yesterday to see how she's doing. I know she would love to sleep with him, based on past experiences, but she's like "this guy was great great great in bed, but he is a little bit annoying and egotistical and I don't know if I want to deal with him given all the other things, and men, I've got going on". I basically said to her "you know you are probably going to sleep with Al at some point, don't you?", to which she replied "yes, I suppose it's more a matter of when than if..."
I have receive some "warnings" on this forum that all appear to be because my wife is a serial monogamist and treats men more like BFs than FBs. She needs the emotional connection and likes the pursuit and teasing and banter, etc. that goes along with dating that leads to sex. I don't think she's capable or interested in just sleeping with random men. She does however appear to be capable of engaging more than one BF at a time however.
I guess the bigger question I need to understand is: Do a lot of people on here have success with the BF model vs. the NSA model??
If he's awesome, she will want more and have to balance her time between 2 men.
If he's a dud, she's still got a full dance card going with Bill.
If he's spectacular, then maybe Bill fades away and I've got a new and even more formidable BF to worry about.
...Just to make things even more interesting, an old BF, Al, from the past called her out of the blue yesterday to see how she's doing. I know she would love to sleep with him, based on past experiences, but she's like "this guy was great great great in bed, but he is a little bit annoying and egotistical and I don't know if I want to deal with him given all the other things, and men, I've got going on". I basically said to her "you know you are probably going to sleep with Al at some point, don't you?", to which she replied "yes, I suppose it's more a matter of when than if..."
I have receive some "warnings" on this forum that all appear to be because my wife is a serial monogamist and treats men more like BFs than FBs. She needs the emotional connection and likes the pursuit and teasing and banter, etc. that goes along with dating that leads to sex. I don't think she's capable or interested in just sleeping with random men. She does however appear to be capable of engaging more than one BF at a time however.
I guess the bigger question I need to understand is: Do a lot of people on here have success with the BF model vs. the NSA model??
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
UPDATE: WOW - a new chapter in our HW experience.
Tonite Samantha slept with Sid... TWICE! I guess it was good.
I asked her a million questions:
- How was it?? Awesome!
- Did he give you great sex?? Yes!
- Are you going to see him again?? Absolutely!
- How do you feel about Bill, now that you slept with Sid?? I still like him a lot... although I feel a little less connected... but I like him a lot?
- Do you still want to see Bill? Yes, definitely!
- SO, what is the plan going forward???
==> Well... I'd like to see Bill 2-3 times a week and Sid probably 1 time a week... and of course I will sleep with you 2-3 times a week...
So, it looks like Samantha is prepared to become the "primary sexual outlet" to 3 alpha males for the time being! Wowser. I asked her specifically: are you really prepared to provide 3 viral alpha males with all of their sexual needs? To which she replied: yep!
I'm still trying to process all of this.
I'm still jealous of the BF-like affections and infatuations with Bill. I don't know how the Sid thing will affect that. I'm excited about all of the sex. Is it possible to have too much sex??
Sam also has a few other minor interests: she has yet another ex BF that wants to see her. He was great in bed, but sort of a jerk. She is just slightly toying with the idea of seeing him. She also is curious and mildly interested in finding a guy with a big dick. Her BFs/FBs are just average, and not really big. I'm pretty big. I think she wants to experiment with super-size at least once. She's also still a little curious about ashley madison, and may explore that again. Honestly, she's got a ton on her plate and I'm not sure where this is going, but it's one hell of a ride. See her pics at thread "Almost Newbie - picture" in the hotties area. You'll see why so many guys are in hot pursuit.
Tonite Samantha slept with Sid... TWICE! I guess it was good.
I asked her a million questions:
- How was it?? Awesome!
- Did he give you great sex?? Yes!
- Are you going to see him again?? Absolutely!
- How do you feel about Bill, now that you slept with Sid?? I still like him a lot... although I feel a little less connected... but I like him a lot?
- Do you still want to see Bill? Yes, definitely!
- SO, what is the plan going forward???
==> Well... I'd like to see Bill 2-3 times a week and Sid probably 1 time a week... and of course I will sleep with you 2-3 times a week...
So, it looks like Samantha is prepared to become the "primary sexual outlet" to 3 alpha males for the time being! Wowser. I asked her specifically: are you really prepared to provide 3 viral alpha males with all of their sexual needs? To which she replied: yep!
I'm still trying to process all of this.
I'm still jealous of the BF-like affections and infatuations with Bill. I don't know how the Sid thing will affect that. I'm excited about all of the sex. Is it possible to have too much sex??
Sam also has a few other minor interests: she has yet another ex BF that wants to see her. He was great in bed, but sort of a jerk. She is just slightly toying with the idea of seeing him. She also is curious and mildly interested in finding a guy with a big dick. Her BFs/FBs are just average, and not really big. I'm pretty big. I think she wants to experiment with super-size at least once. She's also still a little curious about ashley madison, and may explore that again. Honestly, she's got a ton on her plate and I'm not sure where this is going, but it's one hell of a ride. See her pics at thread "Almost Newbie - picture" in the hotties area. You'll see why so many guys are in hot pursuit.
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:58 pm
Re: Also Newbie!!!
Glowing, you ask?
She is flammable, amigo... a real "fire-starter".
She has lots of things that makes guys go ... "Scwiiiiiing"!
She is flammable, amigo... a real "fire-starter".
She has lots of things that makes guys go ... "Scwiiiiiing"!
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
Re: Also Newbie!!!
Sam what happened to that night that was supposed
to be all about you?
to be all about you?
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
I'm still working to get Samantha on here to tell her side of her story.
In the mean time, the story continues. After a few hot rounds with Sid, and then with me, she is anxious to get back between the sheets with Bill. Maybe tomorrow (today, it's after midnight). She's so revved up she pretty much wants something every day. She's toying with offering To be Bill's "sex slave", which basically means she will do whatever he wants, whenever, and where ever until further notice. I think that means fucking him or blowing him every day for a while. Of course she also wants to fit Sid in, And is toying with bringing Al, an old BF, into the mix.
The problem with Al is that he's not very attentive. Sid and Bill are in desperate pursuit. They want her bad, and she likes that. Al's got lots of GF's and is more passive. But, Al does have the biggest dick by far and has given her the most pleasure with it in the part, and she finds herself thinking about that at times.
I told her to send her pictures (see Also Newbie - picture) to Al and to tell him she's become a hotwife to stimulate some desire and competition in him. So far she's a bit shy to do that.
She's also dealing with the time it takes to be a HW. Working out more, spray tans, more time on hair and makeup, and of course all the sex! Do other HWs have this problem??
I've suggested that if she's going to have very frequent sex, maybe she can mix it up - quickies on some days, so that everything is not a marathon that wipes her out, she's considering that.
In the mean time, the story continues. After a few hot rounds with Sid, and then with me, she is anxious to get back between the sheets with Bill. Maybe tomorrow (today, it's after midnight). She's so revved up she pretty much wants something every day. She's toying with offering To be Bill's "sex slave", which basically means she will do whatever he wants, whenever, and where ever until further notice. I think that means fucking him or blowing him every day for a while. Of course she also wants to fit Sid in, And is toying with bringing Al, an old BF, into the mix.
The problem with Al is that he's not very attentive. Sid and Bill are in desperate pursuit. They want her bad, and she likes that. Al's got lots of GF's and is more passive. But, Al does have the biggest dick by far and has given her the most pleasure with it in the part, and she finds herself thinking about that at times.
I told her to send her pictures (see Also Newbie - picture) to Al and to tell him she's become a hotwife to stimulate some desire and competition in him. So far she's a bit shy to do that.
She's also dealing with the time it takes to be a HW. Working out more, spray tans, more time on hair and makeup, and of course all the sex! Do other HWs have this problem??
I've suggested that if she's going to have very frequent sex, maybe she can mix it up - quickies on some days, so that everything is not a marathon that wipes her out, she's considering that.
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
Yeah... women always want to look their best, even when they are on a date where she doesn't leave the hotel room, or FB's bed. lol
I think Samantha will find a good balance, or a more relaxed attitude, and she can just show up looking sexy in jeans and a teeshirt, and dispense with the more time consuming preparations. After all, her BF's probably want to get her naked as quickly as possible!
Please feel free to post more pics of your sexy wife, especially if you have some of her with her BF's.
BTW, it's great that she is accepting the dynamic of seeing multiple guys, she will likely soon feel much more comfortable with that.
I think Samantha will find a good balance, or a more relaxed attitude, and she can just show up looking sexy in jeans and a teeshirt, and dispense with the more time consuming preparations. After all, her BF's probably want to get her naked as quickly as possible!
Please feel free to post more pics of your sexy wife, especially if you have some of her with her BF's.
BTW, it's great that she is accepting the dynamic of seeing multiple guys, she will likely soon feel much more comfortable with that.
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
We had a little argument on Saturday and were not in a good mood, so she cancelled her date with Bill (I did not ask her to, it was her decision). We don't argue very often - probably less than once a month, and it's genially over within hours.
Sunday was a new day, we both woke in a good mood and she said I think I'll invite Bill over for a little time on my back today. They had a 2-hr play date, after which I had her. She "needed a little more"
She invited Bill back for another round tomorrow.
I guess I'm getting into a groove here. I used to wonder if it would ever happen and now it's happening all the time. To be honest, the last 30 days have been so exciting and distracting it's been hard to concentrate at work. I'm sort of hoping I can just start enjoying this without being obsessed with it. Just feel comfortable knowing we're all having a blast, she's happy, the marriage is happy, etc. She wants the exact same thing and is telling me "I'm sure I can make all that happen for us. I have perspective. I love the sex and NRE, but I love you more and need you to just be happy, say thank you, and relax and enjoy"
Sounds good to me!
Sunday was a new day, we both woke in a good mood and she said I think I'll invite Bill over for a little time on my back today. They had a 2-hr play date, after which I had her. She "needed a little more"
She invited Bill back for another round tomorrow.
I guess I'm getting into a groove here. I used to wonder if it would ever happen and now it's happening all the time. To be honest, the last 30 days have been so exciting and distracting it's been hard to concentrate at work. I'm sort of hoping I can just start enjoying this without being obsessed with it. Just feel comfortable knowing we're all having a blast, she's happy, the marriage is happy, etc. She wants the exact same thing and is telling me "I'm sure I can make all that happen for us. I have perspective. I love the sex and NRE, but I love you more and need you to just be happy, say thank you, and relax and enjoy"
Sounds good to me!
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
AND AGAIN... Samantha slept with Bill again today. She says "I absolutely love fucking him. I want to do this 24/7!!" I congratulated her for becoming such a great hot wife. As it turns out we really have 2 primary rules: 1) lots of fucking, 2) don't fuck up marriage. She says "I'm totally on board with that!", and am gearing up for much more fucking.
Then she told me she's planning to see Bill again tomorrow... and maybe the next day. Golly.
I still feel some insecurity about her spending so much time with Bill. She works hard at monitoring this and putting my fears to rest. I feel like if I could only relax a tiny bit...
Then she told me she's planning to see Bill again tomorrow... and maybe the next day. Golly.
I still feel some insecurity about her spending so much time with Bill. She works hard at monitoring this and putting my fears to rest. I feel like if I could only relax a tiny bit...
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
Often, when Hw's are starting out, there is a period of activity and intense infatuation. That sounds like what Samantha is going through now.
Of course you should both be on guard that this not become an enduring emotional attachment, so much intimacy with one man, and so often, can certainly lead to falling in love.
You only have Samantha's word on what is going on with her emotions, and we can all hope she is remaining objective and sincere in what she shares with you, but..., it's good to stay on your toes as this moves forward.
I am in the camp that believes that her having multiple FB/BF's helps keep her from investing too much emotional attachment in one particular guy, although I think I can understand Samantha's desire for closeness and intimacy with her lovers, I still think it is less fraught if there is more than one.
Of course you should both be on guard that this not become an enduring emotional attachment, so much intimacy with one man, and so often, can certainly lead to falling in love.
You only have Samantha's word on what is going on with her emotions, and we can all hope she is remaining objective and sincere in what she shares with you, but..., it's good to stay on your toes as this moves forward.
I am in the camp that believes that her having multiple FB/BF's helps keep her from investing too much emotional attachment in one particular guy, although I think I can understand Samantha's desire for closeness and intimacy with her lovers, I still think it is less fraught if there is more than one.
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
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Samanthasman
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Re: Also Newbie!!!
"Monitoring it" ... My wife and I had an open an frank discussion about Bill again tonite after our own love making. My wife told me again that she is monitoring things, and that I can stop this any time I want. I told her that I don't ever want to be the "bad guy"... that if the relationship with Bill is at anytime coming between our relationship, that SHE needs to cut it off. She agreed, and said that it is not.
Now.. I know, and we discussed "how can you be infatuated and objective at the same time. You really really like this guy and admit you want to be with him all the time..." To which she answered "you know me better than anyone and you know what I am capable of" (which is true)... them she talked about our past
The truth is, as I stated earlier in this blog, she did have another BF/FWB during our marriage for several years. His name is Al and they had dated on and off for 15 years (before and during me). During our marriage and before we even knew what a HW was, she would occasionally although usually infrequently sleep with Al. At that time I encouraged her and I thought I was the only crazy man on the planet that had such thoughts and allowed his wife to do that. I had no idea what I was doing. As such, I frequently told her go...no stop... yes go ahead... no don't do that... And despite driving her crazy (and literally calling off many dates just before the date), she loved me just the same. As she dated Al she did have a few periods of intensity (at one point seeing him weekly) and she did say that she even loved him, but was never really "in love" with him and always knew that I was who she wanted to end up with at the end of the day, year, life... During our conversation tonite she said "I was able to sleep with Al, and even love him at times, and keep it all in perspective and stay with you all along. Even if I did start loving Bill, and no, I'm not saying that will happen, but even if for some unexpected reason it did get that far, you know and I know in my heart, that I still have perspective and want to be with you. You are the person I have built my life, business, and family with, the person I respect more than anyone, and the person I want to end up with".
I do know her and I can tell she is sincere and not just saying what I want to hear. I can feel the difference.
Maybe this is a little poly? Maybe in some ways because of the past with Al, I feel a little more comfortable with letting her pursue the BF relationship with Bill (she does not call him her BF, by the way), and a little more reluctant in jerking the rug out from under her with Bill (as I did with Al). The truth is that every time I stopped her dates with Al, I regretted it, and every time I did not stop her, it made us stronger.
I also know she is open to still sleeping with Sid a few times a month, and maybe even Al again. Somehow this makes me feel more balanced than having her only be with Bill. Maybe that's crazy thinking, but some others on here have agreed.
So, the story continues. She wants to experience an intense period with Bill - seeing him frequently (fucking him daily) for a while - with a little Sid on the side. I'm monitoring it...
Now.. I know, and we discussed "how can you be infatuated and objective at the same time. You really really like this guy and admit you want to be with him all the time..." To which she answered "you know me better than anyone and you know what I am capable of" (which is true)... them she talked about our past
The truth is, as I stated earlier in this blog, she did have another BF/FWB during our marriage for several years. His name is Al and they had dated on and off for 15 years (before and during me). During our marriage and before we even knew what a HW was, she would occasionally although usually infrequently sleep with Al. At that time I encouraged her and I thought I was the only crazy man on the planet that had such thoughts and allowed his wife to do that. I had no idea what I was doing. As such, I frequently told her go...no stop... yes go ahead... no don't do that... And despite driving her crazy (and literally calling off many dates just before the date), she loved me just the same. As she dated Al she did have a few periods of intensity (at one point seeing him weekly) and she did say that she even loved him, but was never really "in love" with him and always knew that I was who she wanted to end up with at the end of the day, year, life... During our conversation tonite she said "I was able to sleep with Al, and even love him at times, and keep it all in perspective and stay with you all along. Even if I did start loving Bill, and no, I'm not saying that will happen, but even if for some unexpected reason it did get that far, you know and I know in my heart, that I still have perspective and want to be with you. You are the person I have built my life, business, and family with, the person I respect more than anyone, and the person I want to end up with".
I do know her and I can tell she is sincere and not just saying what I want to hear. I can feel the difference.
Maybe this is a little poly? Maybe in some ways because of the past with Al, I feel a little more comfortable with letting her pursue the BF relationship with Bill (she does not call him her BF, by the way), and a little more reluctant in jerking the rug out from under her with Bill (as I did with Al). The truth is that every time I stopped her dates with Al, I regretted it, and every time I did not stop her, it made us stronger.
I also know she is open to still sleeping with Sid a few times a month, and maybe even Al again. Somehow this makes me feel more balanced than having her only be with Bill. Maybe that's crazy thinking, but some others on here have agreed.
So, the story continues. She wants to experience an intense period with Bill - seeing him frequently (fucking him daily) for a while - with a little Sid on the side. I'm monitoring it...
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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BallSpanking
- OHW Addict
- Posts: 7458
- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:58 pm
-
Samanthasman
- OHW Addict
- Posts: 1767
- Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:05 pm
Re: Also Newbie!!!
Samantha's Story...
I have gotten my wife to agree to sit down and spend an hour or two this weekend writing her story to post here. Essentially, we embraced HWing about a month ago after about a decade of discussion and experimentation. My wife has always been an "over achiever" and basically jumped "all in". I posted our story here to solicit advice, and have received a ton of it. Some of the advice has been critical: slow down, stop, warning, your doing it wrong, etc. Other's have said "enjoy the ride... etc.". We appreciate all of the advice!!
At this point I'd like to solicit: What do you want Samantha to discuss??
She will answer all questions about her feelings, relationships with lovers, falling in love, protecting the family, her history with how we got here, her commitments, sexual attitudes and interests, rules, exit strategies, whatever... I'm gonna compile a list and she's going to pound out her story...
I have gotten my wife to agree to sit down and spend an hour or two this weekend writing her story to post here. Essentially, we embraced HWing about a month ago after about a decade of discussion and experimentation. My wife has always been an "over achiever" and basically jumped "all in". I posted our story here to solicit advice, and have received a ton of it. Some of the advice has been critical: slow down, stop, warning, your doing it wrong, etc. Other's have said "enjoy the ride... etc.". We appreciate all of the advice!!
At this point I'd like to solicit: What do you want Samantha to discuss??
She will answer all questions about her feelings, relationships with lovers, falling in love, protecting the family, her history with how we got here, her commitments, sexual attitudes and interests, rules, exit strategies, whatever... I'm gonna compile a list and she's going to pound out her story...
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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techvet963
- Virgin
- Posts: 37
- Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:00 am
- Location: chicago
Re: Also Newbie!!!
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long...
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Samanthasman
- OHW Addict
- Posts: 1767
- Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:05 pm
Re: Also Newbie!!!
Tech - are you saying "fucks twice as many twice as often?"
Half the guys on here are desperate to get their wives to even try this, and the other half are warning those that do go figure...
Half the guys on here are desperate to get their wives to even try this, and the other half are warning those that do
go figure...Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...
Samantha Getting Started...
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SmilingHusband
- Pervert
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:18 am
- Location: Not Here
Re: Also Newbie!!!
that's funny, but, it's not actually a necessary contradiction if you think about it.Samanthasman wrote:Tech - are you saying "fucks twice as many twice as often?"
Half the guys on here are desperate to get their wives to even try this, and the other half are warning those that do