Kill Bill...Asking wife to dump BF?!?!

[luvMyHotwife]

... We had the talk. I told Samantha that I'm no longer ok with Bill. That I've been struggling with it for a while and that I have thought about it a lot. That I really wanted this to work out, but that no matter what we have tried and discussed, the relationship is on a trajectory to continue growing stronger and stronger, and at some point people will be in love and people will get hurt.

From her perspective, what is wrong with this? She gets to fall in love and get ultimate orgasms from Mr Bill. You haven't made the case as to why she should dump Bill.

[davidm205]

From her perspective, lets see. Marriage/children/rules we agreed to etc.,

At the end of day the husband has expressed many, many times his uncomfortable feelings towards Bill. The wife did not take actions to remedy and even progressed to lying concerning Bill.

By pulling the plug the husband did the right thing reaffirming his manhood and what is right for his marriage and family.

My concern is the proceeding weeks as the love for Bill will probably rear it's ugly head, she will be cold and confrontational with her husband and Bill will seek to take her away if he can.

[luvMyHotwife]

My concern is the proceeding weeks as the love for Bill will probably rear it's ugly head, she will be cold and confrontation with her husband and Bill will seeks to take her away if he can.

But she said she would jettison him if asked. So will she?

[davidm205]

"But she said she would jettison him if asked. So will she?"

This is the million dollar question? She probably felt by saying this to her husband he would not call her bluff. He did!

Since Bill is married for the moment probably it will work out in the end but it will take along time.

Right now she will be angry at her husband and blame him at first. Later based on maturity, reality, and the ability to separate self from the emotion, one would hope to see her realizing that she lost focus, balance, (as did the husband in allowing this to grow to this point) and did not take permanent steps to make this work. Like allowing them two too talk or allowing her husband to witness in person or limiting the amount of time they spend with each other.

After all should this not be a shared journey for most? Knowing that for others the extreme sides work.

[Samanthasman]

It will take time to sort this out.

My demands were quite explicit: "I want you to terminate this relationship permanently". She understand clearly what that means.

I don't need to "build a case". I'm out... that's all that should matter.

No, I don't feel the need to bully her into breaking up with him "my way". I need to get her some respect and latitude to handle this appropriately. There are real people and emotions involved.

[davidm205]

Samanthasman as you already know but re-affirm please take blame where blame is due in it reaching this level. Many wise experienced people have offered advise on balance to you in this endeavor.

Recent Examples of successful implementation (for the business guy in you) would include Tyo and Smilinghusband with their respective endeavors. (Just two which come to mind and of recent vintage everyone)

She will need a lot of time to heal and reflect. As you have said respect her but do not waver on this decision at all. Right now desperation will probably take hold and promises of, what if, may come in the fore night.

Stand your ground firmly but backed by gentle love. Express heartfelt sorry for your place in this after all where did this start come from?

Wish you all luck and success as the troubled path of pain has started..,

[shesmine]

I think you do need to man up and put your foot down and say enough is enough. I also really hate to say it but I think she's just telling you what you want to hear. You say she's a strong and independent woman? From the way you describe her she's going to ultimately do what she wants to do. If I were you I'd quick dicking around and go straight to the source of the problem and have a little talk with him and tell him this shit isn't working out anymore.

Agreed...we all get off on our wives having sex with other men and the anxiety that goes with that, but when it comes down to it...if you're not going to be the "man o' the house" then someone else is, that's human nature...so either act like it and tell the guy to hit the road...or let him control your wife and marriage, if that's "your thing"....it happens to not be my thing, so I would have stopped this situation long ago personally...either way, good luck!

Spoken like it's coming from someone named "she's mine" lol


Seriously, don't you think it's more reasonable and respectable to allow her to terminate things in her own way, using her own words. This is hard for everyone, I don't think going macho and trying to kick some guys ass is going to make anything easier here. I don't really know that anyone intended to do anything wrong. People get caught up in their own emotions - including me. I honestly feel bad for someone that is involved in a break up... It hurts...

1. I didn't suggest you kick his ass anywhere in my statement, I suggested yon handle the situation like a man on way or another. And if not, then accept the role you've allowed yourself to be placed in.
2. Ultimately, when it comes down to it, she is MINE, period, end of discussion. Fucking is fucking, it's like her playing tennis with someone else as far as I'm concerned...but when the rubber meets the road she is mine, not his. if there is any disagreement with that, I am right, he is wrong. And that can be handled any way it needs to be. I wouldn't care about his emotions at all. And if my wife had emotions over it, we could discuss that. But if it came to a him or me type call, I guess that is on her at that point.

Either you enjoy the situation you're in or you don't and if you don't do something about it or accept it. I don't see it as being nearly as complicated of a situation as you've made it out to be.

[shesmine]

I think you do need to man up and put your foot down and say enough is enough. I also really hate to say it but I think she's just telling you what you want to hear. You say she's a strong and independent woman? From the way you describe her she's going to ultimately do what she wants to do. If I were you I'd quick dicking around and go straight to the source of the problem and have a little talk with him and tell him this shit isn't working out anymore.

Agreed...we all get off on our wives having sex with other men and the anxiety that goes with that, but when it comes down to it...if you're not going to be the "man o' the house" then someone else is, that's human nature...so either act like it and tell the guy to hit the road...or let him control your wife and marriage, if that's "your thing"....it happens to not be my thing, so I would have stopped this situation long ago personally...either way, good luck!

Spoken like it's coming from someone named "she's mine" lol


Seriously, don't you think it's more reasonable and respectable to allow her to terminate things in her own way, using her own words. This is hard for everyone, I don't think going macho and trying to kick some guys ass is going to make anything easier here. I don't really know that anyone intended to do anything wrong. People get caught up in their own emotions - including me. I honestly feel bad for someone that is involved in a break up... It hurts...

1. I didn't suggest you kick his ass anywhere in my statement, I suggested yon handle the situation like a man on way or another. And if not, then accept the role you've allowed yourself to be placed in.
2. Ultimately, when it comes down to it, she is MINE, period, end of discussion. Fucking is fucking, it's like her playing tennis with someone else as far as I'm concerned...but when the rubber meets the road she is mine, not his. if there is any disagreement with that, I am right, he is wrong. And that can be handled any way it needs to be. I wouldn't care about his emotions at all. And if my wife had emotions over it, we could discuss that. But if it came to a him or me type call, I guess that is on her at that point.

Either you enjoy the situation you're in or you don't and if you don't do something about it or accept it. I don't see it as being nearly as complicated of a situation as you've made it out to be.

And for the record, we've been doing this for about 8 yrs...and while I do not have a small cock at all, I have seen her fucked many times by guys with bigger cocks, and for longer and harder than I usually fuck her etc...etc...she has a regular BF, he's a good friend of mine and is respectful of me, they cum in her etc..etc.....and I love it...but again, when it comes down to it, I am the Rooster in the hen house, that's it, she knows it and appreciates it, and the guys know it and understand it as well. So I'm not new and "don't get it"... I get it...That is just how we enjoy to live out our "thing". It's a win, win, win...people can do it any way they like...all out cuckhold, cool with me...I get that also believe me...so I'm not some macho guy when it comes to the sex, but the marriage outside of that it is another thing all together for us. So I wouldn't tolerate any meddling into that aspect of our lives.

[inkofconfusion]

yo man, your marriage may be at stake here. You've already given her a heck lot by letting her screw other guys. She should be appreciative and grateful for what youve done for her and break it off if oyu ask her too. of course there might be some heartbreak but hey, we cant always get everything we want in life,right? It's not fair to let this doubt continue. It may take some time but eventually she Should be understanding. Man, dont literally kill bill but tell her to break it off. I know it sucks having to do this or to "test" you wife but man, this aint the normal marriage life. Gotta do what you gotta do

[zorro]

Samanthasman, you have done what every man has a right to do: to speak his own truth. You raised the question of what you feel ready to do, you heard pros and cons, you sat with the options. And you acted, cleanly, calmly, and respectfully. No one can do better than that.

I don't think it matters much if Samantha has a chance to say her goodbyes to Bill. She knows you cannot take the extent of emotional immersion she has gotten into. And she knows it is over if she is to be with you. Will she cheat? I truly do not know. If she does, then you know your wife's character is not up to yours. If it helps her to make the break with Bill, I would nod agreement.

There is a big difference between setting your boundaries and trying to control Samantha. It sounds as though you are doing the former cleanly and not getting ensnared in a senseless power struggle with the latter.

I feel for both of you. They say that breaking up is hard to do. Just hang in there with Samantha as she grieves. You might actually wind up closer than you would imagine.

[a_unique_being]

SM,

It must have been a very difficult moment for you and while it maybe difficult for you and your wife. It seemed like you didn't want to be in this type of situation however, it had to be done.
This is a test of the strength of your relationship and if your relationship is still as committed as the day you married each other, then your relationship will be stronger.
However, as you mentioned it will take time for all this to sort itself out. However, as one user commented, now it is time to follow through on your decisions.
Not many users have done this but I will, I wanted to praise you in taking charge of your marriage and doing what you think is best for your marriage. I also wanted to say good job in doing so and also considering the advice on the forums.

[HotWifeDdsHubby]

Kill Bill. Long story short, this seems like marital disaster. You should seriously reconsider the Hotwife thing. This does not seem healthy for either of you. Good luck brother.

[Samanthasman]

Samanthasman as you already know but re-affirm please take blame where blame is due in it reaching this level. Many wise experienced people have offered advise on balance to you in this endeavor.

Recent Examples of successful implementation (for the business guy in you) would include Tyo and Smilinghusband with their respective endeavors. (Just two which come to mind and of recent vintage everyone)

She will need a lot of time to heal and reflect. As you have said respect her but do not waver on this decision at all. Right now desperation will probably take hold and promises of, what if, may come in the fore night.

Stand your ground firmly but backed by gentle love. Express heartfelt sorry for your place in this after all where did this start come from?

Wish you all luck and success as the troubled path of pain has started..,

Each person on here is conducting their HW lifestyle model in a way that is compatible with their own personality and boundaries. One of the challenges I have faced when communicating on this forum is an endless number of people saying "do it this way... No no do it this way... See I told you so... This is the way..." For example, when we got started, it took us a while just to figure out which of these "forums" to post to and indeed if this exact story were posted to the cuckold forum the advice coming back would have been more "how dare you tell the wife what to do", while the poly people would have said "there is nothing wrong here... You just need to love and accept this guy". So we all try to "find our place" and them we try to find what works even within that place.

For example, several people suggested it is wrong to allow solo and that you should demand an MFM. Well, my wife and I talked about that extensively and she felt totally uncomfortable with being watched live or doing an MFM... But she said she would do videos if she could go solo which was the only model she felt comfortable with. I found many others on these forums that agreed with that model and we moved forward with that. Tying to implement a model that your wife would never do or that is outside your own interests is a waste of time.

Frankly. we never know with certainty if we are making the right decision until we look at results in the rear view window. I believe this was the right decision and I posted it here in real time for all to see and learn from, but only time will tell. It is more than possible and frankly more than probable (folks I know my wife and relationship better than anyone) that if I let this relationship continue, it would have provided tons of tons and months or years of joy and excitement for all, and would have NEVER harmed our marriage (and in fact it would have continued to enhance our marriage with sex and excitement). I will now never know. The reason I took this move was as an insurance policy - I'm not interested taking unacceptable risks with things I care about. Even a 5% chance of losing my family is beyond my interest, although I feel many on here have a much higher risk tolerance.

My wife is still dealing with this now. A lpart of her feels that this was not fair - she played by all of the rules we agreed to. She fucked multiple guys for "balance" and she was mostly transparent and she never felt she did anything to harm our marriage. Yes, there was one lie about a meeting for coffee, but it was not a capital oftense (we all make mistakes). Yes, there were a few "bumps" but I doubt many people ever do this without a few bumps, bruises, and mistakes along the way.

So...Now, after jumping into this at my request, and doing it with lots of energy, attention and excitement as I wanted, she ends up losing her favorite relationship... The relationship she put the most energy into that yielded the most fun, pleasure, etc. The one she believed was "perfect" for us because this guy said he was happily married and never wanted to upset our marriage but was interested in providing mind blowing sex to my wife on a frequent basis. And now that is gone...

Was this the right decision? Certainly the majority here felt so, and I ultimately agreed.
Now it's a moot point, as only the future will tell...

[DavaoMike]

If all else fails, send "Guido" to "reason" witb him. Then, your wife will simply wonder why Bill decided to dump her. lol

[mopacpower]

Great job on talking to your wife and telling her your feelings, Communication with each other is the KEY.
Does she get on this site? Maybe talk to the other ladies in their forum?

Find her a new cock to play with, that won't threaten you, and that understands you are letting your wife fuck him.

Or go on a romantic getaway to rekindle her love for you! That fire is down, put some logs on the fire! Hurry

[zorro]

Samanthasman, you don't need to worry if you made the "right" decision. You made the one that was right for you. Had I been in your shoes, I might have made (and have made) a different decision. But your and my decisions were right for each of us as different individuals.

You are testing Samantha's love for you and her commitment for you. Perhaps if she remains true, as another poster here mentioned, you might down the line somewhere feel more secure with Samantha's rekindling her relationship with Bill. But that is not a decision you need face now.

The real issue is the same as it has always been all the way through your journey: the solidity of the relationship you have with Samantha. Time will tell.

[seductionrules]

It will take time to sort this out.

My demands were quite explicit: "I want you to terminate this relationship permanently". She understand clearly what that means.

I don't need to "build a case". I'm out... that's all that should matter.

No, I don't feel the need to bully her into breaking up with him "my way". I need to get her some respect and latitude to handle this appropriately. There are real people and emotions involved.

Well said and done Mr SM

Regards

Mr. SR

[Samanthasman]

Sam called and talked to Bill for about an hour to finally explain everything. She felt she owed him that.

At the end she said her final fair well. On every previous call they always ended by scheduling their next get together. This time it was good by. It was very very sad.

[MyAznHW]

I am very sorry to hear about that my friend. It is very very sad.

[joytous3]

Wow. Tough one. Tough call. I could have gone either way with you one this one, so I won't judge. Part of me would dearly love to try on for size the type of intense emotional/sexual relationship that existed here and part of me worries that I might not know myself as well as I think I do and should leave it at NRE and puppy love and no further because I don't know how one puts the brakes on one's falling-in-love mode.

If it was the right thing for your marriage, that's what matters when the day is done.

I'm OK with The Lovely One having a love relationship, as I don't think she can keep her huge loving heart out of the bedroom and the quality of guy I want for her lover would tend to draw her that way. It's the nature of the beast. I could do what you did for a while and maybe then some, I just don't know where that line would be for me. She wouldn't flaunt it and throw it in my face the way Sam did with you and she would never, ever, ever lie to me, not even a tiny one. So maybe we come from a slightly different place than you and we're a bit older than you and emotional maturity is a big advantage in HW'ing.

Not an indictment of your maturity, just an observation that we've had longer to develop it.

For now you did the right thing. I hope it doesn't sour Sam on HW'ing fearing that if she finds another dandy fit she'll get too attached and burn you both again. You two are a classic example of too much of a good thing. I hate it when that happens.

[DavaoMike]

Now, the real test is whether she starts seeing Bill behind your back.. Keep a watchful eye!

DM

[MrsTruckstar]

Amazing that it took an hour to end it. What is there to explain in an hour?

Sam - Hubby said we have to end this and it is permanent, no going back we are over. I am sorry but that is the way it is.
Bill - What do you mean ?
Sam - It is over, Ende, Finito, kaputt.
Bill - Does that mean we are finished?
Sam - Yes
Bill - Are you sure?
Sam - For fucks sake is this going to take all night to explain this to you?
Bill - I just don't get it
Sam - I should have finished with you ages ago you are such a dumb ass, I can't beat this into you with a baseball bat.
Bill - Is this what you really want?
Sam - Fucking hell man, put the god damn phone down, we are over.
Bill - No you first

Exit phone calls are five minutes. This ain't over, even if she thinks it is. You may have preesed stop and Bill reads pause. His next phase is bugging or stalking.

How do I know this. Because I have been in the lifestyle for years and when a man who has been fucking your brains out and back in again gets told that he has dumped his last load on you and he was not expecting it, no matter who he is, he won't take it lightly.

Does she have the resolve to see it through, he will be on this chasing her within 7 days. I would like to be wrong on this but I know people.

[WantMore]

Im with you Truckstar! Totally agree!

[SSQ]

Amazing that it took an hour to end it. What is there to explain in an hour?

Sam - Hubby said we have to end this and it is permanent, no going back we are over. I am sorry but that is the way it is.
Bill - What do you mean ?
Sam - It is over, Ende, Finito, kaputt.
Bill - Does that mean we are finished?
Sam - Yes
Bill - Are you sure?
Sam - For fucks sake is this going to take all night to explain this to you?
Bill - I just don't get it
Sam - I should have finished with you ages ago you are such a dumb ass, I can't beat this into you with a baseball bat.
Bill - Is this what you really want?
Sam - Fucking hell man, put the god damn phone down, we are over.
Bill - No you first

Exit phone calls are five minutes. This ain't over, even if she thinks it is. You may have preesed stop and Bill reads pause. His next phase is bugging or stalking.

How do I know this. Because I have been in the lifestyle for years and when a man who has been fucking your brains out and back in again gets told that he has dumped his last load on you and he was not expecting it, no matter who he is, he won't take it lightly.

Does she have the resolve to see it through, he will be on this chasing her within 7 days. I would like to be wrong on this but I know people.

I'd tend to disagree. My first breakup call was over an hour and it was something that I genuinely wanted to do since the relationship wasn't meeting my needs. When there's emotions involved, it's still painful.

Hugs to Sam and Sam'sman.

[hornedhubby]

Since you have the means and may be able to find the time, as well, I think you should take Samantha on a long, exotic vacation as far away and as soon as possible. Maybe a diamond necklace would come in handy in the meantime.

You need to sweep her away from this event, or at least try your very best to do that.

From the beginning of this thread, even in the subject title, it's been clear that you were going to insist that your wife break it off with this guy. Given how you felt and what the rules were (as you and Samantha agreed), you had a right to act as you did. And you were smart to seek feedback and received some wise advice.

But this was a very hard thing for Samantha to do. The fact that you acted with due consideration and balance is not going to mitigate her pain. I think you should appreciate the fact that she honored your request, expressly against her own wishes and inclinations.

I mainly posted to emphasize that it's really important for you to relate to her feelings and also understand that she had to break up with this guy at what may have been the peak of her affection for him, the peak of their new relationship energy. And, you shared the pix with us, they had a lot of NRE going on, sexual chemistry, etc. And I understand how you found that to be really fucking scary.

Best wishes.