Kill Bill...Asking wife to dump BF?!?!

[SSQ]

Sam'sman, I'm of the school that if there's good mutual chemistry with someone, that there will be feelings regardless of what kind of limits you put on it. Then those limits start to chafe, and that's when trouble can really start. So personally, I don't think that she could have fucked him once a week for years and avoided those problems if they really did click that well together.

Personally, I wouldn't be okay with a rule that says I have to call things off if I developed feelings for someone. I mean, so why am I in the lifestyle? Either I have mediocre to good sex with men that I don't have that intense chemistry with (I need that connection to put things over the top, unless it happens to be when I'm ovulating ) or I find someone I have that awesome connection with and either lie to my husband or get my heart broken when I have to end things.

I'm lucky- fortunately my husband understands that. We started out with the same rule, that it would be sex only, and then I found someone that I had more with. And I'll be 100% straight and say that I knew from the very first time that we met that it was going to be more, and I still went ahead and did it. I'm sure as hell not perfect, and I hurt my husband. He didn't deserve that. But he loved me, and he saw how happy I was, so his choice was to let things run their course (not to say your choice was wrong, but this is what was right for us). Eventually I broke up with him because the relationship wasn't satisfactory any more, but it was my decision to do so. As a result, I think my husband is less threatened by emotional relationships because he's seen it play out. He knows that I know that it's not "real", and that he's the one who is there for me through it all.

But as long as the communication is there, it doesn't matter what you and your wife decide as long as you're both on the same page. We learned from our experience, too. I was able to articulate that I needed to have the option for that type of relationship or this wasn't going to work for me. It took months of sitting down and talking and checking in to hammer it out, but it's been so worth it to have my needs met this way. To me, the big difference is, does having a relationship on the side check you in or out of the marriage?

That's not to say I don't have casual sex in ongoing type things; hell, I'm still fucking my very first local FB from over two years ago. But we never had that intense chemistry that made me want anything more, so this satisfied my needs. Honestly, though- unless I'm ovulating, I can take it or leave it, and my sex drive is sky high. What I really need to put me over the top is the connection. So you can pretty much track my cycle by looking at when I entertain casual partners LOL.

I hope you two are able to find a solution that works for you both. I just wonder when I see that Sam thinks she could have kept it under rein with strict limits, if she's only setting herself up for more trouble. After all, she's already shown that she could lie to you if there's something she wants to do that you won't be okay with. If she finds someone with that click... she's going to want more. And now you have the possibility of a full blown affair instead of keeping things aboveboard and out in the open.

Oh, and keep in mind I identified hardcore as MONOAMOROUS when we started... I only wanted sex and had no desire for anything more. I never thought I was capable of loving more than one person since my past is checkered with serial monogamy. It just happened, but I can't and won't go back.

[Samanthasman]

More history on us...

A little more about our past and Samantha's past...

20 years ago Sam left her college BF for her first husband. The reason was that she wanted more in life and was unfulfilled.

10 years ago, she left her first husband for me. The reason was that she wanted more in life and was unfulfilled. We did not marry for 5 more years...

3 years into our relationship she dated an ex BF (with my knowledge). We were experimenting with HWing before we even knew what it was. The truth is that she did grow to love him. Not sure she "fell in love" but there was love. I later found out that there were conversations with him that included scenarios about leaving me. In the end she choose me. I know the reason was that although the other guy was a tall good looking younger very successful attorney, that he also had some of what I might describe as character or personality flaws, and Sam concluded that she would rather stay with me than leave for him. He was not "an upgrade". Later after Sam and I married (5 Years ago) and I found out the details of the attorney, I actually grew comfortable with her occasionally seeing him - not because of her, but because of him. In other words I just knew she could never leave me for him... She had the chance and passed... And he would always have the flaws that made her pass...

In retrospect I think we basically played Russian Roulette with our relationship, and I won.

Now, the new guy Bill... He is a successful good looking guy and a great (off the charts great) lover. He's much younger and stronger than me. However, I'm taller. My dick's a little bigger. We're both about as handsome. However, I'm a lot richer and more powerful and successful (things that do matter a lot to Sam). He appeals to an artistic side of her. They click a lot. I appeal to an ambition side of her.

If she continued to see him I honestly doubt she would ever leave me for him. He's really great at so many things, but not really an "upgrade" overall. I'd put the odds of her leaving at perhaps 1-in-6. But, even with those low odds, playing Russian Roulette again with my marriage is just not worth it to me.

I think people on the forum that talk about wives falling in love but the marriage not being harmed - are basically the winners at Russian Roulette. And, truthfully, you do indeed usually win at Russian Roulette.

So... I ask my wife the big question: can you do this without pushing the relationship over the line? Can you enjoy sex with someone and not have to probe their soul and explore the relationship on such a deep level? Can you have great sex without having a full blown affair!? Clearly, she has not done this in the past, but for the first time she now recognizes this pattern...

[Samanthasman]

New Information...

Samantha sat down and READ everything I posted here and in the "Also Newbie" thread!!! She said she spent hours reading everything I posted, and all comments, since the beginning of the year.

I've been trying to get her on here for months, and she's never had interest. Now it sort of feels like she's read my diary going back to the start. It was a little weird for both of us.

I asked her if she thought I was fair and accurate. She said she thought I exaggerated in some places... Some things I wrote were very intimate and personal... Some things made her feel slutty or sick... Maine things made her realize that mistakes were made. She wishes she could have gone back and done some things differently.

I told her I obviously too made mistakes. In the beginning we both agreed that the advice we got on this forum was in some cases well intentioned but ill conceived. Too many people gave dire warnings that just freaked us out unnecessarily.

She also said she feels some resentment that I did not give her more opportunities to make course corrections. I should have told her in black and white "this is exactly what you can divans what you can't do" for me to feel comfortable. I said I did not want to be an overbearing husband. She said "give me at least the option... If you said I can have sex with Bill for 2 hours a week as long as I have 2 hours of sex with someone else and limit all communication (text, phone, in person) to 30 minutes a week... I might have agreed to that and you might have felt comfortable with that"

To which I said "we had many discussions where I told you we were getting off track.. I asked you many times to work with me... I tried to get your attention... " to which she responded that I operate inc the gray while she's in black and white. She was executing to the exact plan we agreed to. She was fucking multiple guys for balance. If I needed to set addition boundaries to feel comfortable, I should have unilaterally set those boundaries rather than just suggesting their are problems and expecting her to compensate or make course corrections without explicit directions.

In the end because our communication was not good enough, she thought she was doing everything right (which was to a large degree correct) and I thought she was off the rails (because I was focused on just the Bill issue) and the wide disconnect caused me to pull the trigger on Bill somewhat unexpectedly.

And from all of that I ask the million dollar question: "could this have been done differently? Is there something that could have worked? What should we have done? Is there anything we could still do here?"

No immediate conclusions, however, I do feel that our communication has been the best that it has been here in the aftermath...

[mopacpower]

Congratulations, you are finally talking to each other, And she has read your postings! This is a very good thing, she can see what your point of view was, as she remembers the events.

Keep up the talking, and

Has she seen anybody else, or is she just sexing you? Or is everybody cut off?

[Samanthasman]

I think both of you need to stop rationalizing and making excuses. Doing a postmortem is useful, but I feel like both of you are still trying to place blame, which isn't really helpful.

Moving on doesn't require that you figure out who is to blame. Neither your appraisal of the situation or hers is very objective at this point because both of your opinions are still so tainted by emotions.

Playing the game of what ifs is never useful. What if I did this or did that? What if she did this or bill did that? It's a useless exercise because you'll never know. Neither of you have even come close to asking the two most important questions.

1. Why/how did she become obsessed with bill?
2. Why were you so conflicted about her becoming so obsessed with bill?

You guys are still just rehashing who did what and who's to blame. She became obsessed, you didn't like it. That's what you need to understand in order to move on. The title of this thread is "kill bill" for Christ's sake. I don't think you're being Completely honest with yourself about your own insecurities. I'm not judging you, just pointing out that a man needs to know himself, honestly.

She didn't want to reduce her time spent with him. Period. she's black and white and you're all Grey? What does that mean? It means she'd rather just quit the whole thing than be subjected to your micromanagement. basically her way or the highway.

For her to suggest that she would only see him two hours or text him thirty minutes, that's just her trying to make you feel guilty and trying to get you to agree to let her see him again. I don't know about you, but thirty minutes texting and two hours of sex is nothing. If you honestly believe that she could've pulled it back to this level on her own volition, you're really in denial. She makes it sound like she would've done it if you would've just proposed it. Yeah right.

Then why didn't she? If I remember correctly, her response to you in the original thread was, "you'll get what I give you and like it." that was the red flag that set a lot of us off to urge you to step in and take action. A bunch of women suggested you step out of the way of her sexuality. God only knows what kind of advice she was getting in the ladies lounge.

The million dollar question isn't what could we have done differently and what can we do differently in the future. The big question is why she felt the way she did about Bill, why you had a hard time with it, and why you couldn't see eye to eye on any of it. Answer those questions and the answer to your million dollar question will be self evident.

The answers to your questions I believe are obvious to us both

1) She became obsessed with Bill because he was one of those 1-in-1000 or whatever guys that had off the charts chemistry with her. They clicked from the start and the intensity of feelings grew as the intimacy grew. Not much mystery here.

2) I was uncomfortable with this because I'm one of those old fashioned guys that does not mind sharing here body, but is less comfortable sharing her heart. I'm not "poly" and although I do realize that a woman can love more than one man, I also believe that that can lead to major problems and major heartbreak. In other words, the longer it goes, the more that people get hurt.

Seeing the relationship on its trajectory to continue building emotionally, with no change in site, I ultimately said to her - it's time to pull the breaks here. I'm out.

If we kept going, what would have happened? Honestly, it would have been fine for some time. We would have all had fun and enjoyed everything... However, there were some problems that were growing, and the like or love or whatever it was would have grown and grown and someday their might have been a much bigger problem to solve.

Since this is supposed to be fun and not stressful, why create potential problems? I felt it was not worth it. Yes, in some ways it's not fair, but in the future it would have been way harder to resolve things, and way less fair or more hurtful.

Now we are regrouping. Samantha has stopped all HWing. Not seeing any of her other lovers. Frankly, I did not ask her to stop seeing others, and frankly I wish she were continuing to see others (I hoped that would help her get passed Bill) but she's going through her morning and frankly I suspected all along a lot of the whole thing was always about Bill. I suspect in part (how much I don't know) she saw other guys to make me feel more comfortable with her spending so much time with Bill. She certainly liked the other guys, but never found someone else with the chemistry she had with Bill. I hoped she would (and I think she really did try), but she did not.. At least not yet. Now that Bill is gone, her interest in other guys is reduced. It could also be that she's just sad and not in the mood for anything at the moment.

We did have sex together a few time this weekend and it was ok.

She is just starting to "think" about seeing Sid again... and did even just buy an outfit specifically for him. An authentic cheerleader outfit (his fantasy), but she has yet to schedule anything with him or even talk to him about it.

As we explore our next moves, one question is whether there is any room for Bill in any HW future? If she saw him only 2-hours a week and limited all communication beyond sex - in other words just sort of worked out a mostly sex only relationship with him while dating one or more other guys as much or more - would that make any sense? Or just seeing Bill once a month? Frankly if I caught my wife having an affair with someone, then my feelings would be "no way can you ever talk to that guy again!" But the rules are a little different in the HW world...

[Marc]

Hmmm...bring Bill back into the picture? Maybe that could work. But you should probably give it awhile. And you should probably agree to that only if you have some involvement. You should meet or talk with Bill to set some guidelines. Maybe you finally get to watch. Not every time but some times. Maybe they only have sex at your house so you know when they are together or for how long.

Just some suggestions. It's your life your decision. I would worry about setting so many rules that she feels compelled to break them. And you really have to think it through to the point of what are you going to do when she breaks the rules. Text when she isn't supposed to. Has lunch and doesn't tell you or sneaks off for three hours to fuck him but tells you she was just out shopping and her phone was dead. Can you or will you believe her when that happens? And if you don't what happens next?

You need to make sure you are prepared to handle things going off the tracks---again.

Good luck

[Samanthasman]

Who's to Blame???

Several of the posts here have said things like "it's your fault for not coping" or "it's her fault for going too far" or she blames you or you name her...

I don't believe there was a "fault" here.

I think the fundamental problem was that my wife fell in high-like/pre-love/love (whatever you want to call it) with another man. She simply liked him too much. She admits it. Is that her fault?? I don't think so... it just happens sometimes when two people meet and spend time together, if they have chemistry.

As a result of these feelings, I became insecure and that was difficult for her, and she did a few things to manage my feelings (for example not telling me about some of the things that went on with her lover) and that made things worse. If I had been less jealous, she might have been more open, and that might have made some short-term difference, but the fundamental issue of her liking him "too much" would still be there...

I'm struggling to determine if that is resolvable? If a women likes a lot and spends more time... like can become love. Once a woman loves a lover she loves two men at the same time (lover and husband). At some point (unless this is some sort of poly relationship) one or both men will not want to continue to share her time, mind, body, and soul, and she will be forced to choose. At this point someone that is in love with someone is going to have that person taken from them. Someone is going to get hurt.

I think what this means is that when HW's fall in love, it's time to pull the trigger on the relationship. I think that exactly what many wives on here believe, and many wives on here work tirelessly to keep the relationship in check to keep people from falling in love.

Those that don't believe this, either eventually break their boyfriend's or husband's heart (usually the boyfriend), or struggle to turn everything into some sort of poly relationship - which has it own sets of problems and benefits.

Can a women continue to love two men for a long time and everyone is cool with that?? Sometimes, probably yes, and sometimes no. You don't know until you try it. If you try it and it does not work out, the results can be pretty horrible.

So, a question we ponder, for example, is: "is there any way to involve Bill in any future HWing with Samantha?"

[agawim]

Dear SM,

From all your posts and questions on these forums I understand two major things:

1: You are very indecisive.

2: Samantha is a master manipulator.

Keep those two things in mind when making any decisions regarding this lifestyle.

Best advise I can think of at this point in time.

Wim

[Samanthasman]

Dear SM,

From all your posts and questions on these forums I understand two major things:

1: You are very indecisive.

2: Samantha is a master manipulator.

Keep those two things in mind when making any decisions regarding this lifestyle.

Best advise I can think of at this point in time.

Wim

I'm sure as long as a man has two heads doing the thinking for him, #1 will always have some truth to it.

I'm sure a long as a women has a golden pussy going for her, #2 will have some truth to it.

[WantMore]

As ive said before, she may love another, but if the relationship is secure as in the couple being a team, her other love will always remain less than her full time love. Your thinking love is broad. Love can be narrow with one and broad with another if that is the goal of the couple. This is how it works for us. She knows how to handle the issue instictively. It took a few years for us to learn this too.

I feel you need to communicate with her both of your goals.

Anytime a hw sees a guy long term love will crop up. Its perfectly fine as long as she knows the limit by the two of you communicating.

This is why longer term boyfriends work for some and not others. Its all about how she learns to handle it.

At this point we no longer play roulette. You havent been thru a few of her boyfriends yet so i understand you feel you are playing russian roulette.

Man its all about team communication. Some couples got it, some dont!

[WantMore]

You keep mentioning poly. Poly is equal and shared love for 2 right? We arent poly. She reminds her bf that she may love him but her love for me is untouchable. They learn if they want her long term they must respect that im her hubby and has final say. Your right many guys wont do that. She kicks em to the curb at that point.

For her, being i trust her and her actions makes hw ing even more enjoyable for her.

Yaya, most think im fantasy talking.. It can be reality if the couple works as a team, communicates and sets goals and achievments in her alternative relationships.

[Samanthasman]

You keep mentioning poly. Poly is equal and shared love for 2 right? We arent poly. She reminds her bf that she may love him but her love for me is untouchable. They learn if they want her long term they must respect that im her hubby and has final say. Your right many guys wont do that. She kicks em to the curb at that point.

For her, being i trust her and her actions makes hw ing even more enjoyable for her.

Yaya, most think im fantasy talking.. It can be reality if the couple works as a team, communicates and sets goals and achievments in her alternative relationships.

What are the "goals and achievments in her alternative relationships"????

[SSQ]

You keep mentioning poly. Poly is equal and shared love for 2 right? .

I told myself I'd stay off this thread but I had to chime in here. No, it isn't. You guys think hotwifing has a lot of variations? So does poly.

Personally, I practice hierarchical poly. That means my husband is the primary love in my life, period. I'm not looking for a person to move in with us and become a co-spouse or anything near that level. I just enjoy going out and having fun with people that I have that emotional chemistry with. So yes, I look for people that I can fall in love with, but as I think someone else said, there are different kinds if love.

I just strongly disagree with the premise that there's some magic formula here. We're all human beings and we have different wants and needs and ways of handling things. Just like children- you can't parent all children the same way. So I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to alternative lifestyles- everyone has to find their own path and see what works for them.

[WantMore]

You keep mentioning poly. Poly is equal and shared love for 2 right? .

I told myself I'd stay off this thread but I had to chime in here. No, it isn't. You guys think hotwifing has a lot of variations? So does poly.

Personally, I practice hierarchical poly. That means my husband is the primary love in my life, period. I'm not looking for a person to move in with us and become a co-spouse or anything near that level. I just enjoy going out and having fun with people that I have that emotional chemistry with. So yes, I look for people that I can fall in love with, but as I think someone else said, there are different kinds if love.

I just strongly disagree with the premise that there's some magic formula here. We're all human beings and we have different wants and needs and ways of handling things. Just like children- you can't parent all children the same way. So I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to alternative lifestyles- everyone has to find their own path and see what works for them.

Exactly! Thats what we are! You see SM, there are variations to poly just like love. We dont call ourselves poly. But looks like theres a name for what we do to, lol!

We call poly 2 equal. SSQ has a name for what we do.. (shrugs shoulders lol)

I agree there is nothin that fits all. I have told what we do. Love and roulette isnt a problem for us. We do what SSQ does and things tick lick a clock. Hot fun!!

[WantMore]

Goals and achievements can be anything. Her boyfriend wants to take her to Tahoe skiing for a week. We set a goal for the date and rellish in it prior. She once wanted to go out on her own. I allowed her wish, no lol, I dealt with her wish. I mean hell I could write all day on the goals weve placed on our relationship. Could also write forever on the achievements she has wanted out of hotwifing. We started small like many do. Over the years things have ramped up and up. There really is no end to the enjoyment of hotwifing, love, poly I should say, lol, and the crazy things that can come along with it as we as a couple found our niche!

[zorro]

You keep mentioning poly. Poly is equal and shared love for 2 right? .

I told myself I'd stay off this thread but I had to chime in here. No, it isn't. You guys think hotwifing has a lot of variations? So does poly.

Personally, I practice hierarchical poly. That means my husband is the primary love in my life, period. I'm not looking for a person to move in with us and become a co-spouse or anything near that level. I just enjoy going out and having fun with people that I have that emotional chemistry with. So yes, I look for people that I can fall in love with, but as I think someone else said, there are different kinds if love.

I just strongly disagree with the premise that there's some magic formula here. We're all human beings and we have different wants and needs and ways of handling things. Just like children- you can't parent all children the same way. So I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to alternative lifestyles- everyone has to find their own path and see what works for them.

I would echo SSQ: There are many variations on poly. The common thread is that there are more than one person who is loved, but it is generally (and most stably) done openly. In bisexual situations, where a lot of modern polyamory began, it was recognized that for some women, they needed to also hav a love relationship with another woman as well as with their man. The challenge was to do without hurting the husband. Then it was found that many straight women like having more than one man to love and sex. And this has led to a lot of exploration of vee relationships with hetero partners. (I am discussing all this from the wife's point of view. Men can also love more than one woman, but that is another topic.) A very common arrangement is for one man to be the primary and the other the secondary. We almost got into a vee relationship this past year, but it never clicked because the other guy -- although a great fuck -- was never really comfortable with being a secondary. Emotionally he could not consider being anything but a primary. So this was a no go despite efforts to iron it out. There are some women I have known who don't want a primary -- but they also don't really want a regular partner. They just want to fuck whomever they want to fuck, and they want no possessiveness (or "clinginess," as they call it).

Many men find that sharing their wife's body is as threatening as you find sharing Sam's heart. And who are we to speak against what each of us feels.
I like sharing R's body and her heart. I do not feel like losing her. And I think sharing her actually strengthens our bond, because she has no sexual or emotional reason to break it. You describe yourself as having a very strong hold on her -- especially since success and money mean a lot to her. If that is the case, she may sex and even love another, but in the end the golden clam will hold on to you because it pays better.

When R gets involved with men who are much wealthier than I, I can feel anxious, because I know I can't compete on a financial level. That can stir up my abandonment jealousy. But some men might get nervous if their woman really thrilled to another man's bigger cock (which happens from time to time). I don't; I just enjoy her pleasure. I guess underlying a lot of insecurity is our deepest assessment of what holds us together as a couple. And our confidence in ourselves.

Very complicated.

BTW, I think it is way premature for Sam to spend more time with Bill. You both have a lot to work through. There is no harm in learning even more about what she experienced with Bill that drew her to him as much as he did. And more about what she feared that led her to keep Bill and you apart. And you need to think about the conditions under which you would consider her starting up again with Bill -- if ever.

You both have an opportunity to get to know yourselves more than you ever have. Do consider making the most of it.

[MrsTruckstar]

As we explore our next moves, one question is whether there is any room for Bill in any HW future? If she saw him only 2-hours a week and limited all communication beyond sex - in other words just sort of worked out a mostly sex only relationship with him while dating one or more other guys as much or more - would that make any sense? Or just seeing Bill once a month? Frankly if I caught my wife having an affair with someone, then my feelings would be "no way can you ever talk to that guy again!" But the rules are a little different in the HW world...

Of course they are, didn't I say it was not over?

So, a question we ponder, for example, is: "is there any way to involve Bill in any future HWing with Samantha?".

Of course there is, didn't I say that would become your future conundrum? If she starts seeing him again what will they know about you. You got pissed they had to end but within 7 days you relented, it is easy to give up up but the future is No - no longer means no, it means not right now. You will call it compromise and dress it up some how, how did you get to your decision? Why did you make it? why will you relent? then you have your answers.

Of course you love her - compromise and give and take are part of being married. Do big decisions stay made or are you a push over?

You may regret the compromise, you may rue the day.

BTW, I think it is way premature for Sam to spend more time with Bill. You both have a lot to work through. There is no harm in learning even more about what she experienced with Bill that drew her to him as much as he did. And more about what she feared that led her to keep Bill and you apart. And you need to think about the conditions under which you would consider her starting up again with Bill -- if ever.

You both have an opportunity to get to know yourselves more than you ever have. Do consider making the most of it.

great stuff by Z, you also need to know what you would be conceding if she was to relight that fire.

[mrsblue]

I read through this last night and thought, and the situation is not unlike the problem that my husband and I had. You've gotten plenty of good advice, so I won't rehash all that, but the simple fact is that you should never, ever go back with a previous lover if either one of you had a problem with them. It is just a bad idea to take chance like that.

My husband and I still are not back to where we should be because years ago when he said stop or else, I didnt. I had kept my true feelings hid somewhat, and pursued a ten month affair, because I truly loved the other man. That relationship is at the root of our problems today, even after seven years.

She admitted lying to you about a coffee meeting, but there maybe much more involved. The fact that this relationship was only a few months old, you both can get through the breakup, if really want to. I have been there and it does hurt, and it will take time, just be patience with her, but do not compromise with her about Bill.

[Samanthasman]

We are having many long conversations. Many frank discussions. She admits she "went over the line". She admits she got a ticket to have sex and used it as a ticket to have an affair. This kept me uncomfortable and was devisive. I fully admit I love the sex and fear the emotional intimacy, which ads pressure to the relationship.

The question I ask her is: can't you enjoy the relationship and the sex without continuously pushing into someone's soul. Can't you stop at good enough? Certainly the relationship with Bill was good enough for mind blowing sex... So why spend even more time sharing feelings and pushing for more? Yes, it feels good, but it bothers your husband.

I've told her I don't really want to play Russian Roulette with my marriage so for HWing to work I only see two models that we could utilize:

- go into another relationship unbounded, let it grow until people are in love. Then terminate the relationship.

Or
- set boundaries on the relationship to keep it a little lighter and sex based and less likely to be more heavy and love based. This is not her natural tendency.

She has asked me to "set hard boundaries". Tell her how many hours of fucking, talking, etc. Tell her what she can and can't do. Tell her even what she csn and can't talk about. She wants me to set the boundaries! This feels odd and over barring to me, outside of my comfort zone, but that's what she's asking for. She's like "ok, 120 minutes a week of fucking, and 30 minutes of non-sexual intraction per lover with a minimum of two, and no talking about marriage relationship... Is that it?? I can do that if that is exactly what you tell me,,,". I'm not sure where to even start...

[MrsTruckstar]

You have to understand that she is hurting, she has been through some tough shit. She will be irrational there should be no rush to restart.

[agawim]

It seems this is not a good time to "negotiate" to many emotions running around in both your heads. Perhaps it is better to focus on just the two of you, your family together in stead of developing new models and devising contracts.

[Samanthasman]

It seems this is not a good time to "negotiate" to many emotions running around in both your heads. Perhaps it is better to focus on just the two of you, your family together in stead of developing new models and devising contracts.

I agree that we are not in a hurry... She's actually more open to this and pushing this than me. Perhaps she is not quite as "hurt" as I might have thought, or at least she is healing faster than I thought. I mean she is clearly feeling bad about Bill... but, She is, for example, also talking about wanting to meet one of her other BFs...

[Iamtheman]

I'd suggest seeing where it goes with the other boyfriend. It sounds like as the days pass, she's missing the HWing or at least thinking more about it. Maybe some time with a lover is what helps close the door on Bill.

[davidm205]

Two things

One, she just wants Bill back so no no no. You pulled the plug so stand your ground on that one or further trouble lies ahead.

Two, the life style can work but she has to get over Bill which has not happened yet and will take time...,

[Samanthasman]

Moving along...

Samantha saw Sid again!! She bought an authentic cheerleader outfit and pom poms (his fantasy) and made his fantasy come true! I have to say her tanned and trim 36D-24-36 physique looked pretty damn hot in the outfit!

I asked her where her head was at and she basically said that she likes Sid a lot and even though she are I are still figuring things out after the split with Bill, she did not want to lose her connection with Sid. She also started tooling around on AM again...