Kill Bill...Asking wife to dump BF?!?!

[Samanthasman]

Samantha and I are on opposite coasts this weekend so we are not talking for hours a day about our relationship. The mood is good - she is not feeling sad about Bill or highly emotional today. She did post her story at long last (written no doubt on a long flight). She says she is getting closer to resolving her feelings about how to best move forward.

Yes, she is alone, staying with my secretary.

I miss her - I just don't like sleeping alone even for a few days.

And I lust for her

[Samanthasman]

Samantha is verified !

[jane]

do I have some catching up to do...18 pages in two weeks...

[Samanthasman]

Ok... After some time "off", and about 100 hours of conversation, soul searching and much sharing of feelings and brainstorming, we have maped out a "plan" to reboot, restart, and move forward.

After reading all of these threads, Samantha realized we were not communicating sufficiently and she was a little tuned out of my feelings as she went turbo HW.

At his point we both have the same goals for this lifestyle, and simply need to converge on implementation. To make that happen, we wrote up a new detailed plan!
The new plan involves moving slowly with frequent "check points".

[MrsTruckstar]

Ok... After some time "off", and about 100 hours of conversation, soul searching and much sharing of feelings and brainstorming, we have maped out a "plan" to reboot, restart, and move forward.

After reading all of these threads, Samantha realized we were not communicating sufficiently and she was a little tuned out of my feelings as she went turbo HW.

At his point we both have the same goals for this lifestyle, and simply need to converge on implementation. To make that happen, we wrote up a new detailed plan!
The new plan involves moving slowly with frequent "check points".

How wonderful. Boundaries, limitations, reviews and momentum. What more could a couple want

[WantMore]

Awesome! Turbo Hotwife, Too funny! Love it!

[Samanthasman]

Cuck Test????

I don't like humiliation, cages, I'm not bi-sexual, and I do have a big dick...

I don't really think of myself as a "cuck"... However, the thought of my wife taking control of our sex life is exciting to me. Sometimes I think instead of having her ask "permission" when she wants to fuck her BF, perhaps she should just fuck who she wants when she wants and tell me "this is how it's gonna be".

I ask her "do you just wanna take charge and cuckold me!?" And she says "no, I think that would not make you happy".

The truth is that it might be a great idea, or not.

Ho do you figure this out??? Do you do a trial run!!?? She we put her in total change for 1, 2, or 7 days as a test. Sort of say "fuck whoever whenever all you want and we'll revisit everything in the month.

[BallSpanking]

Excluding Bill?

[lozrob66]

I say yes. Have already suggested in previous posts. Good luck

[MrsTruckstar]

I say yes. Have already suggested in previous posts. Good luck

We say yes
Once the boundaries are set for the month let it run.

[54321]

Dear SM,

You might be interested to look at these links:

http: //iplayhewaits.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=4524fe1dbab14f10

http: //incidentalhotwife.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=816f35e30a684d56

I hope everything goes well for you both and look forward to hearing how the next 7 days unfold.

Best wishes,

54321

[Samanthasman]

I say yes. Have already suggested in previous posts. Good luck

We say yes
Once the boundaries are set for the month let it run.

Like what sort of boundaries?

[MrsTruckstar]

Whatever boundaries will make you feel better. Like if you have a weekend away, you must call on arrival, let me know you are ok. I want a good night text of at least ten words and a good morning text.

I don't want a family event cancelled for a FB event, once booked we stay booked.

And the like

[mundyman]

MrsTruckstar your'e like a Hotwifing Yoda. Except your not green, scaly, several hundred years old, or two feet tall. Rather your sexy, sensual, hot, AND very wise.

[redskull]

you're already a cuck but don't realize it. she was having sex with
Bill, Sid and forgot the third guy while you complained you weren't
getting what you wanted. she pretty much controlled the who what
where and when. temporarily has ended with the kill Bill. temporarily
though

[Ephraim]

http: //incidentalhotwife.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=816f35e30a684d56

Or you could just use http: //incidentalhotwife.blogspot.com/ -- and she's on this side of the Atlantic.

I adore her. She has all kinds of wise things to say. She and her husband have the life I want.

Unfortunately, she hasn't posted anything in almost three years, and there is no contact link.

[Samanthasman]

you're already a cuck but don't realize it. she was having sex with
Bill, Sid and forgot the third guy while you complained you weren't
getting what you wanted. she pretty much controlled the who what
where and when. temporarily has ended with the kill Bill. temporarily
though

Frankly, I'm trying to understand what it means to be a "cuck"?? By broad definition every man on here is a cuck. By narrower definition it seems to mean the wife does what she pleases.

I know that neither of us are interested in humiliation, cages, bi-sexual activity, and the likes, and my wife does seek my "approval" of most of her activities, but I am open to turning more control over to her, and we may try this out.

[viking53]

Frankly, I'm trying to understand what it means to be a "cuck"?? By broad definition every man on here is a cuck. By narrower definition it seems to mean the wife does what she pleases.

I know that neither of us are interested in humiliation, cages, bi-sexual activity, and the likes, and my wife does seek my "approval" of most of her activities, but I am open to turning more control over to her, and we may try this out.

I think from Samantha's long post it was very clear that basically she has been in control but still trying to be considerate of your feelings. Clearly no interest in humiliation. I think you would be much happier if you let her take full control and just trust her.

[Samanthasman]

UPDATE:

- After Sam turned down the offer to "take control" we decided to give it a go at the 75% plan... Basically she agreed to put limits on her relationships. She could see Bill as long as it was limited to 1x/week with 2 hrs of sex and no more than 30 mins on non-sex interaction. She also agree to continue seeing other guys for "balance"
- as we implemented this, we both felt less than fully satisfied. She wanted more contact. We both wanted more frequency. I wanted more inclusion. I pushed for watching - and talked about that in my other thread, Samantha Getting Started...

At this point:
- I have lost sexual interest in Samantha's relationship with Bill. It no longer turns me on when she sees him. It's like a switch was flipped in me. I frankly don't understand these feelings. It's like I'm no longer HWH !

Does this happen? Is it temporary? Why would I feel this way?

[Iamtheman]

Is it just Bill? Or has all the HWing lost its appeal?

[Samanthasman]

Is it just Bill? Or has all the HWing lost its appeal?

Not totally sure. I still want her to see other guys, but she has not had sex with a guy other than Bill for 2 weeks. The last 3 times with Bill were a turn off - I no longer get hard or excited. Didn't even need to reclaim. These are strange feelings - I've always been wired to want this and now it's like the switch has been flipped off.

Have other people gone through this? Is it temporary?

[livedit]

It's temporary and it's Bill. You guys need a break and one or the other or both will come back.

[mundyman]

We never had the loss of trust that you have. It seems that when she kept things from you and lied to you that's when the switch was turned. On top of that, the necessity for you to be so insistent to be able to watch makes the whole process more of a job than something that can be enjoyed. But it did come back as we moved on to others. Peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys.
I think you have three choices here:
1)live the status quo and continue to get very little out of her relationship from Bill. Let her live the poly-lifestyle and hope your fire for the relationship comes back. The danger here is that as you detach from her, she becomes more attached to Bill for her emotional and physical needs.
2)end the relationship with Bill but still let her see others. To you, their past history has obviously poisoned any future activities and relationship. You tried to go back, it didn't work, time to move on. Your wife bears the burden for the fallout from this decision, not you. In time you two may both find that third person who will burn as hot as Bill.
3)end all HWing for now and go back to your vanilla lifestyle. If the lifestyle is truly in you, the desire to include a third will return, but take it slow. Sexy talk in bed, building the excitement of including a third, choosing a third, and then the meeting process all over again from scratch. You may HW again, or you may never. Enjoy a family summer together and maybe on a trip you see someone or meet someone who piques your interest. But get away from the lifestyle for a while. Like a surfer, you rode the wave, it was exhilarating, and the wave dissipated. Time to wait for the next awesome wave. It may or may not come again, but you've got some great memories.

I am curious what she thinks now that your interest in her seeing Bill is dead. Is she going back to the "let's drop the whole thing then" routine? Does she even care? Did she give her first guy the Bday blowjob and did that do anything for you?

Best of luck.

[BallSpanking]

She needs the boyfriend experience with him to play out, it got started and then pulled from under her...

Right... except for the part where the "boyfriend experience" becomes the "break up your marriage experience"!

[Samanthasman]

To be frank, your journey includes way too much self analysis for my liking, too much "we're both ENTJ" blah blah... but in this case I would say it's definitely Bill, you didn't like the situation because it felt out of control, and now you have I think attempted to give up all control of the situation, and it does nothing for you.

In the other thread I suggested letting Samantha have a free ride with Bill, let it go where it goes, total no limits. If you can do that, the times with other guys will likely fuel your needs, and Samantha's feelings for Bill will work themselves out. She needs the boyfriend experience with him to play out, it got started and then pulled from under her.

Glad you had a nice date last night and Samantha maybe has more appreciation for what you are giving her with these adventures.

I have talked to Sam about having her take control. She has concerns about Doing that. Afraid it will make me miserable, which is possible.

When I look at that option it also occurs to me that the results will be unpredictable. And, shit, this is just supposed to be fun. Taking on risk for fun seems stupid. Especially when only one of us is still having fun...

So, we had the "kill Bill" talk again...

She does not want to but us also tired of trying and trying to make everyone happy.

I guess I have certain resentments that have built up around Bill. I don't know if all my feelings are reasonable or not.

1) the lying was unacceptable
2) she treats this like an affair and I want an "us" activity
3) I feel like each activity should answer the questions: "how can this enhance our marriage?", "how can I make sure my husband gets his need filled?". "How do I always make this inclusive?"
4) I should not have had to fight to watch
5) her "near love" (or whatever you want to call them) feelings for Bill are inappropriate