zardoz7766 wrote:I am a Therapist who treats Alt lifestyle patients exclusively. I have seen a lot of so called facts related here and I wonder where thay are coming from. The truth is if you are in a hotwife or cuckold lifestyle your chance of divorce goes to 75%. This has been verified more than once. You have the same stressors as a regular marriage plus the additonal ones. I am not saying you cannot be successful, you can but it is even more difficult. In my opinion you need a certain level of intimacy to stay married and that's what get threatened in most cases because you lose your sense of being special in your partner's eyes.
Since this has been "verified more than once", it would enhance your credibility if you would cite your sources. 75% sure sounds like a made-up guesstimate. In any case, even if it is accurate, it is meaningless. Because "B" follows "A" doesn't mean that A caused B. How do we know how many of those couples would have divorced had they been vanilla? It's not like you took a group of couples and randomly assigned some to be control and some to be HW couples.
As to intimacy and feeling special, the perspective you present would be one held by a vanilla male. The HW husband feels a tremendous sense of intimacy with his HW, because she shares with him something that he cannot share with the world. She does something for him that most wives won't do for their husbands. He adores her for that. If she and her FB become too close and the FB relationship encroaches on the primary relationship, that could indeed be problematic, but that is not what most HW couples desire and create.
However, there is a valid point to be made that there are risks involved in this. It is NOT for everyone, not even for everyone who is strongly attracted to the scenario. For some, it is better to keep it in a fantasy role. If both partners get into it, that can be very fulfilling, without the risks.
For some, and I would include myself here, it needn't be an ongoing "lifestyle" for the wife to act out. The thrill is there if she does it, even once. From that point on, it is verified as "real" and something that could really happen, and might happen again if the situation is right.
I think I speak for most of us HW fans when I say that when you smell the scent of another man's sex on your wife, and she looks into your eyes and shares with you the details of how he fucked her and how much she enjoyed his cock, in that moment you feel closer to your wife than you ever thought possible. It feels like what the "Vulcan mind merge" must feel like. And afterward, you adore her more than ever. Every time she smiles seductively at you or in some subtle way reminds you of how she brought intense excitement to your marriage by opening her legs to another man, your passion and adoration for her are renewed.
If she later falls under the spell of societal taboos and begins to feel guilty, THAT can be ruinous. But is it fair to call that the result of HWing?