First Time Nerves

[ChasteHusband62]

From thinking about getting into the cuckolding lifestyle (which can be an end in itself, which I fine for some), to the actual first time out can be an entire complicated 'landscape' of emotions. Many ups. Some downs. But at no time is there never that tingling, scary AND exciting emotional pathway That goes with it.

Thinking back now a number of years ago when my wife and I took that very first step that would ultimately lead to where we are now, it's easy to forget the raw emotions that were part of it! "Nervous" doesn't quite capture what we both felt like. Though nervous we certainly were, there was more to it than that. There was also the undeniable excitement, and anticipation of what was up ahead of us, that really fueled our driving sense of wanting to "experiment."

There had to have been well over three dozen e-mails, back and forth, between the guy my wife and I eventually settled on to be The Bull. I've kept copies of everyone of them, and reading back over them recently, was like getting a fresh hit of the heady exhilaration of that fumbling, nervous, uncertain, scary, but exciting first encounter.

Truthfully, I wasn't actually sure my wife really would go through with it. But I wasn't entirely sure if I would, either! The whole idea was, admittedly, to say the very least, a real risk to the 26 years she and I had been married, and worked hard to attain---and yet, as I read back over each of these e-mails, it was fairly clear that it was precisely that 'risk' that excited me, and I think my wife as well!

That first meeting my wife and I had with our Bull of choice, felt (to me) like the time I ever tried diving off a diving board at the swimming pool when I was a kid! Driving to the restaurant where were going to meet this other guy, my hands were moist in nervous sweat. I remember chattering away nervously about whatever popped into my head! My wife was nervous as well. It was supposed to be just an initial meeting, to see if the three of us really did wish to take things even further than they had already gone through e-mail exchanges, so it could have ended in disappointment; but it didn't.

The moment I saw our Bull stand up at the booth where he been seated a moment or so earlier, and wave us over, I just knew at the very moment that this was not going to end in disappointment at all; and it didn't! There was just something about him that clicked in my head; and it was soon rather apparent from the way my wife reacted towards him, that she felt something very similar!


It's difficult to put into words what I felt like that evening as my wife and I sat across from this other guy and talked. I watched his face closely, and between the lines of polite and trivial chit-chat, I could clearly see in this other guys facial expression and his eyes, that he was very eager to fuck my wife; and that was a tremendous thrill for me; and it was for my wife, too!

It felt slightly surreal to be setting in such an openly public place as that restaurant, while knowing the nature of why this other guy and my wife and I were there! No one near by probably had the slightest inkling as to what the three of us were up to; and there was something hugely exciting in that! The daringness of it was like a high. It was a high! A mental one. An erotic one.

I remember asking this other guy, at a moment where no one else was able to catch what it was I was going to say, if he was "still interested" in "taking things further."

He had been taking a sip of water, and setting the glass down, he looked first at my wife, and then at me, and he said: "I love to." And that was basically it. My status as an actual cuckold went from the theoretical, to the real in as long as it took for him to say those three short words!

Turning to my wife, I remember saying: "And how do you feel about taking this further?"

She put her hand on my thigh, and lightly squeezing it, she said (looking across the table at the other guy as she did): "I want to take it further, too."

And, eventually, after dinner was finished, the three of us walked to the hotel where I had rented a rather expensive room for that very occasion! The walk couldn't have been more than a few blocks, but the few minuets it took to get to the hotel seemed to pass almost instantaneously! There was this unreality to it; as if it was a dream.

The unreality of it, though, quickly evaporated once the three of us were in the room! Or, rather, a different sort of unreality took over from the one I'd experienced moments before! Take your pick. Words still tend to seem rather unhelpful in describing my own emotions from there on out. What I can say is that I had never felt anything like the eroticism I felt that evening!

Any one else care to share what they felt like the first time they became a cuckold?

[bewareoflizzy]

First things first! Let's hear all about your experience in the hotel...in exquisite detail.

[OOAA]

Wowwwwwww! Amazing detailed explanation of those first thoughts and feelings!!!

GREAT whe she said "I want to take it further, too.", right?

Please, continue soon...

[mace43uk]

Well done you have captured the whole range of emotions that happen once you dip your toe into this lifestyle and I agree reliving those first experience does still bring back those heady emotions....ummmmm.

[Ijustloveher]

Yup, this is how it is and the emotional rollercoaster doesn't stop just there! Wonderfully described. No real need to continue from here as this says it all already!