Hotwifing: Long Term Changes

[Pinks Hubby]

This may sound like a dumb question from a guy who has been on here as long as I have been, but what are the long term changes that you have seen in your relationship since you starting hotwifing? I listed several in the poll above, but let me know if I left any out and I will update the poll.

My wife and I have been doing this going on 2+ years now, but we really haven't done it regularly. She's been with a few different men once or twice (not what she wants), and 2 different friends with benefits a total of 5-7 times (once every month or 2), but it has been very sporadic. Both FWBs are gone now.

She has met a potential FWB, and he seems to be her unicorn. Lives very nearby, wants to meet 2-3 times a week, keeps me in the loop with the logistics of when they meet. If this works out, our hotwifing journey will accelerate very rapidly.

[AZStag]

Dangerous in my opinion. 2-3 times a week and they will be alone? And he's a unicorn, which means he's everything she's been looking for in a man? This could lead to romantic feelings. If you've viewed this website and others long enough, you'll see that what you're suggesting has lead to disaster for many marriages. Make sure you set plenty of rules and can read her emails and text messages. Nothing gets deleted or remains secretive. Put limits on how many hours they can spend together in a meeting etc.

[SeaGirtCuck]

Dangerous in my opinion.
This could lead to romantic feelings.

In the end everything is going to be okay and if something is meant to be then you realize, no matter what, it will find a way.

[DavaoMike]

My wife, Maricel, is in love with her boyfriend, Adam, who has been living with us for quite awhile. Maricel is much younger than I am, and her libido far exceeds mine, which is one of the reasons she has a boyfriend who is close to her age. I am happy with sex maybe once or twice a week, and that has not changed since Adam has been in the picture. He and Maricel make love almost daily (except during Maricel's period).

I personally find that, although the frequency of sex between Maricel and I has not changed much (maybe decreased a little), the quality has gone through the roof. Our story is in a different thread, which is linked below.

DM

[Cdncuck]

I'd say go with it. You have been in the game long enough to start figuring out what you both don't like. It's perfectly acceptable to look for something you find more interesting and satisfying. It's not the end of the world if a woman has a steady boyfriend. The hotwifing part works better for some couples if there is only one or perhaps two other men involved. Not all women are interested in a lot of variety.

[PnG2010]

Dull and boring life has overtaken us. Kids, jobs, responsibilities, age, etc. We are less involved now than when we started dating 7 years ago. It's still a great topic for pillow talk but the intense motivation seems to have fizzled.

[Pinks Hubby]

Dangerous in my opinion. 2-3 times a week and they will be alone? And he's a unicorn, which means he's everything she's been looking for in a man? This could lead to romantic feelings.

I think that it's pretty common for a hotwife to want to at least have some feelings for the other man, otherwise the sex is not as enjoyable. Granted, the possibility of falling in love is real, but doesn't always mean an end to the marriage. In our case, they will not always be alone (I will get a chance to watch at times ), and I will be at home most other times (just not in the room with them).

[Samanthasman]

Like you we have been on a journey of understanding. One thing we have both come to understand is that I have a "husband cock" and my wife finds that a "boyfriend cock" fucks her much better, lol. In other words, she wants a boyfriend for the passion, excitement, raw sex, butterfly's, etc. that only a new relationship can offer. And she would like to see him 2-3 times a week (like she did her last BF). If she ever lived wit him or had a long-term permanent commitment with him, his cock would sadly transform into a husband-ish cock, and no longer be as exciting to her.

I don't think ALL women feel this way, but mine does. Because of this, I've become more comfortable with high frequency and solo dates. But, yes, this also means their are more emotions involved and for some women (perhaps not all) this might mean Falling in love and that could be a problem if someone then concluded they wanted her exclusively and she then had to make a decision.

As my wife and I have dealt with this lifestyle for a while, this worries me less. Why? Because she knows the very magic she feels and craves would dissolve before her eyes if she turned a BF into something more, regardless of how she feels about him.

[Pinks Hubby]

After 2 days of voting, the trend seems to be that the quality of sex increases for roughly 8 out of 10 voters, and the frequency of sex increases for more than 2/3 of voters. 8 votes said that the wife has become more dominant in the relationship.

[Mari55]

After 2 days of voting, the trend seems to be that the quality of sex increases for roughly 8 out of 10 voters, and the frequency of sex increases for more than 2/3 of voters. 8 votes said that the wife has become more dominant in the relationship.

That's true but in the interest of the discussion or another poll, I am curious to know if both the quality and frequency of the marital sex was actually great to begin with. Sometimes I read threads where OP states that the frequency and quality of marital sex does increase. However, somewhere down the line (and pages) he reveals that he's getting less and less (and/or becoming an asexual entity for his wife) and that said development is not a big deal because, before the "beginning the journey", he was not getting that much to begin with.

[Pinks Hubby]

After 2 days of voting, the trend seems to be that the quality of sex increases for roughly 8 out of 10 voters, and the frequency of sex increases for more than 2/3 of voters. 8 votes said that the wife has become more dominant in the relationship.

That's true but in the interest of the discussion or another poll, I am curious to know if both the quality and frequency of the marital sex was actually great to begin with. Sometimes I read threads where OP states that the frequency and quality of marital sex does increase. However, somewhere down the line (and pages) he reveals that he's getting less and less (and/or becoming an asexual entity for his wife) and that said development is not a big deal because, before the "beginning the journey", he was not getting that much to begin with.

That's a good point. What was the starting point of the sex frequency or quality. If it was already off the charts, it doesn't leave much room for improvement.

[zorro]

There is always room for improvement, IMHO.

[ucaneffher]

My experience with the ex went from us being rabbits, then convincing her I wanted her to be promiscuous. She began as a hot girlfriend who slept around while I stayed home. With my blessing and encouragement, she started becoming very outgoing and busy with many many more men and this caused a slow down in our sex life. I hated it but I loved it.

2 years into the relationship she discovered what it was like to have a regular vs having different guys and then those who flaked out and would leave my poor sexy Gf all dressed up and hot looking at home.

Despite feeling neglected, I encouraged her to spend more and more time with her regular and this led to her wanting to try a full blown relationship with him. She liked the idea and I accepted, this was the point of no return, the point where I knew my girl was meant to be fully had by another man while being my Gf. Things went from me getting less sex to no sex but she was looking more amazing than ever and she was happy which I loved to see!

Things ended with her boyfriend, she went back to having different lovers to sex her up periodically but eventually along the way she found a regular lover again and during pillow talk she confessed she was really into him and wanted to try a full blown relationship again but this time she wanted it to be serious and go all the way with him unlike her former regular turned bf. She asked if I could handle seeing her become as intimate and possibly in love with him as she was with me. She once again got my blessing and that was yet again a point of no return. For two years I witnessed my girlfriend make her boyfriend a priority. For two years I saw her physically and emotionally change, she slimmed down, dressed sexier although not in a slutty way, nails and hair done more often, high heels all the time. Two years of knowing she was saying I love you to him, two years of knowing she was making love to him. During that time she told me she wanted him to put a baby in her. All of it was sexy, hot, extreme to me but it was also draining seeing that everything I wanted was happening. I wanted to give her to him but I didn't want to lose her. While she wanted us to continue together, I simply could not anymore. I think that if I would have stayed, she would have tried to have two boyfriends, just like she told me she always wanted since she was a little girl.

[Tncvegas]

We’ve had much hotter sex since our hotwife experience started. From initially talking about the idea to finally following through with it, we talk about it often in bed when she’s stroking my cock. Or if I’m teasing her clit I’ll ask her questions about sucking her boyfriend’s dick. Once it finally happened, the reclaim sex after was amazing! Five or six times over the course of two days with her begging me to take her pussy back.

[Passion4sharingamy]

Adults Only: I must admit that after about 7 years now of my Amy participating off and on in a HW lifestyle, I know that she has transformed in certain, nice ways: 1) Enhanced confidence in her sexual influence and power with other men, 2) Assertiveness in communicating what her own needs are, 3) More open to tell me about the pleasure she feels being intimate with her regular partners and select new men without worrying if it would bother me, 4) a higher level of open communication with me. She looks younger and more sensual every year I think too...

[txhwhubby]

Me and my wife always had an excellent sex life. She is by far the best I've ever been with. And she truly loves to fuck. We've also always had very frequent sex. When were together it's more like times per day than times per week. I still choose frequency increased and quality increased. Hotwifing has opened new doors for us and pushed our limits. My wife dates quiet a few different guys until she finds the one she's looking for. She does fall in love. I've heard her tell two different guys on several occasions that she loves them. The sex is better for a woman of there are emotions involved and it's natural for a woman to love her lovers. There's a difference though. She loves them as boyfriends and me as her husband.

[Justmight]

Like you we have been on a journey of understanding. One thing we have both come to understand is that I have a "husband cock" and my wife finds that a "boyfriend cock" fucks her much better, lol. In other words, she wants a boyfriend for the passion, excitement, raw sex, butterfly's, etc. that only a new relationship can offer. And she would like to see him 2-3 times a week (like she did her last BF). If she ever lived wit him or had a long-term permanent commitment with him, his cock would sadly transform into a husband-ish cock, and no longer be as exciting to her.

I don't think ALL women feel this way, but mine does. Because of this, I've become more comfortable with high frequency and solo dates. But, yes, this also means their are more emotions involved and for some women (perhaps not all) this might mean Falling in love and that could be a problem if someone then concluded they wanted her exclusively and she then had to make a decision.

As my wife and I have dealt with this lifestyle for a while, this worries me less. Why? Because she knows the very magic she feels and craves would dissolve before her eyes if she turned a BF into something more, regardless of how she feels about him.

This is some what good news, but usually comes as an afterthought like a consolation prize of sorts,
Like , Well if she leaves me for him , someday I'll be able to tell " Him " Now you know what it feels like .