"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[rick181au]

I totally agree with the above two gentlemans theoryas well, we were in the lifestyle for 25 + years on and off.

[E and A]

I totally agree with the above two gentlemans theoryas well, we were in the lifestyle for 25 + years on and off.

What he said only for us it is about 6+ years!

[Randy_S]

Allow me to agree then bring up a twist.

My friend and I used to engage in mmf with his wife and mmf with my wife. The ladies would also have us in mf fashion, with the husbands' consent. But all of our fantasies, and I mean the four of us, seemed to involved more than one man with the wife. Once we did my friend's wife with other two friends for hours, till we reached the limits of soreness. I did not enjoyed this arrangement as much, too much getting into each other's way.

Speaking only for myself, I'm not interested in humilliation, nor in homosexuality, I like having sex with other women, but nothing can compare to the raw primitive lust of a woman taking two men, specially when you are at ease with the other guy.

[Luv2watcher]

well said.

[hubby2]

I dont want my wife to sleep with another man.....maybe spend some time in bed with him, but not sleep lol

[debnace]

As a hubby of a hot wife, and have watched Deb have sex with other men many times, I have asked myself this question for a long time, and have searched for the answer everywhere. We began sharing in 1981, so I think we are experienced. I have read many good answers here and most seem to fit into my way of thinking about it, but today I read something that I would like to share here. For me, this quote just explains it the best. "You have no idea how sexy your wife is untill another man is fucking her"!

[canis]

I love to discuss this on aim. Look for me: pedant4

[PeachesHubby]

I'm not sure if I can really explain it, but I'll try.

I love and adore my wife
I think she's the sexiest woman in the world
We've been married for more than ten years and have been in the lifestyle for more than half
I have not had sex with another woman since I first met my wife
I have no desire to have sex with anyone other than my wife
She's had a about ten FBs since we started, the number is not really important
She enjoys having sex with more than just one man
It really turns her on
It REALLY turns me on
It makes our sex better/sexier somehow
I want my wife to have the best sex that she can possibly have and the biggest orgasms as well
I love watching her with another man's cock in her while she screams through an orgasm
Watching her is as good as giving her a screaming orgasm
It makes us both HAPPY

I do have one wish. I wish that the culture could be more tolerant for all the varied sex lives that everyone actually participates in. To be a bit less controlling and judgemental of those who may see things differently than they do. Having differences makes the world a much more interesting place. Being in the hotwife lifestyle has mostly been a positive with a few small exceptions a long the way but I truly don't want to stop or change our lifestyle in any way.

I hope that this explains my POV and I hope it helps someone else have a better understanding of why having a hotwife is the best kind of wife to have. Of course IMHO.

Peace!

[Randy_S]

The western sickness since the greeks; conquest by reduction to logic.

Ye wise men, highly, deeply learned,
Who think it out and know,
How, when, and where do all things pair?
Why do they kiss and love?
Search out and tell me where, how, when
And why it happened thus.

HA! HA! HA!

[Frauenficken]

Hi, I'm new and this may have been said already, but here is my POV. I am not necessarily interested in the cuckold aspect as much as the wife just being plain HOT! I am married to a woman who I think is very sexy, in looks, demeanor (a natural sub), and her overall expression of femininity. She has a very low, almost indifferent libido, so naturally I fantisize about her expressing wanton, abundant sexual energy. The second thing is that I am physically unable to get enough of her and the older I get, the less able I am to recover and re-arm. So I think I have a vicarious interest in experiencing her being sexual so I can extend my own erotic enjoyment of her sexuality.
Finally, she REALLY gets off on the fantasy. She won't ever do it and her low libido drives me crazy, but once I get her going through fantasy she get's this glazed over hypnotic look on her face and WOW!

So I've got that going for me...

[wolfman4455]

I know I had no choice in the decision. When my wife and I were in high school and knew we were to be married, I tried to have sex with her but was so nervous I was soft and couldn't. The next weekend she went with a friend and ended up in the car with two guys that had taken turns having intercourse with her friend. At 16 and as a virgin she didn't resist, she fucked the guy in the front seat once and after getting that load she fucked him again. She probably would have fucked the guy in the backseat too but he was fucking her friend. It was humiliating for me when she confessed a few days later. But it made me very exited and we soon began fucking on our own. She got pregnant and we got married. I wasn't sure for a while whose load got her pregnant but after we were married she went out and fucked numerous guys I knew which both humiliated and exited me. There is no sexual thrill like it for me. I have no gay fantasy and have had sex happily with many women, but knowing my wife was coming home full of cum after screwing another man is still the best thrill of all.

[Aynsley]

I agree TOTALLY with PeachesHubby.

[us4bull]

To us, it is the culmination of a long,erotic and so very hot fantasy. No site more erotic and decadent, that to see my respectable, profesional and very proper wife, become a total wild animal when her black male friend whom by the way is very very well endowed, takes her to a point of absolute saturation and debauchery. As I, stand by their side to serve drinks, dry the sweat of their bodies and lick the copious amount of body fluids their powerful friction produced.
Her face contorts to the rithm of his pumping. The pace increases,culminating in a scream full of profanities and grunts.
My turns starts after he departs......then I take control. We love our marriage. 38 short years.We will not make any changes to our way of life any time soon.

[dava]

Me thinks that a husband and wife team should, and must do whatever is necessary to keep it completely hot and smok'in, if that means having sex with total strangers then so be it. If one or the other is reluctant perhaps they don't want to grow as a couple.

[MrBrunetteBeth]

If one or the other is reluctant they should figure out what the other needs, NOT try to start a lifestyle relationship.

MrBB

[sharedbeth]

Let me try to explain this the way I did to one of her previous boyfriends. He asked why I would do this. Here is what I said. When you have a child that you love almost more then life itself and it is Christmas time and they have asked for something special. So, you do everything in your power to get that gift for them. Then when Christms morning comes you must be there to see the excitement in their face and eyes and the enjoyment they get from that gift. We have all been there and we get as much enjoyment from seeing it as your child gets from receiving the gift. Now, my wife loves sex and making love to others. So, it is like Christmas to see that excitement and enjoyment in her face and eyes. If she goes on her own it is almost as good to hear the excitement about what happened when they were together. So, in short it is like Christmas everytime it happens.

[dinoo]

Very, very interesting thread indeed.

Before yesterday I wrote my wife a letter (yes, sometimes it is more useful to write down your feelings) in which I tried to give an answer to the question why I do like it so much seeing her to make love with other men.
I discovered this site today and see how more men are struggling with this question, at least to find an answer on it. I’m not alone…

Our experience first.
Before our almost 40 years of marriage, my wife already liked to tease me with other men. Then already I liked it. Kids came, were educated and left the house. We had a “normal marriage“ with only a couple attempts to swing. Till last year.

Juin 2008. Very hot holidays, as always in the South of France (I’m Dutch, therefore I ask clemency for my English). We told each other the remaining secrets we had for each other. Real secrets and all secrets. Then (of course) we told each other our very hot fantasies. We decided then to change our lifestyle completely, trying to have a complete other life.

One of our fantasies was to visit the beach at Cap d’Agde, the big naturist center there and only 40 km‘s from our resort. I discovered on internet there was a area where couples had sex on that beach. I warned my wife for the possibility that men there could be too bold. The first time we drove to Cap d’Agde, I discovered suddenly my wife was masturbating in the car exposing her pussy. (A few days ago she did promise not to wear panties anymore when wearing skirts or dresses.) Ugh, that was hot. We tried to reach the beach but didn’t succeed.

Directly at home in the Netherlands, I studied internet to find a swinger club in our neighborhood. I found one (there are more) and four days after returning from holidays, we visited that club were -at some special evenings- single men are allowed. But before, we threw a key in a little river as symbol to “close” our existing live to make place for that wished new lifestyle.

To make a long story short, in that club (named Kasteel Waterloo; kasteel means castle and it is) my wife was fucked within 15 minutes after our arrival. Lots of hands were caressing her body. One man had much patience and waited for his chance. Almost the rest of that evening she made love with him, denying me almost completely. But the way after she made love, I will never forget. Such a passion, as if she made up for lost time. Returned at home that night, we did discuss the whole evening meanwhile enjoying a good bottle of wine. I decided to write down history, to enjoy things later.

Believe me or not, but the second evening the same plot, now with an Englishman. The third too, than with a man from Belgium. The fifth evening, a black man was impressed by my wife but he didn’t dare to approach her. He left but after 30minutes, he came back. I waved him to join us. Again, that passionate kissing and love making, it was unbelievable. He was very kind, she did like him and he became her permanent lover. When he is in Europe and is our guest at home 5 or 6 times a year. (He lives in the US.) Very long evenings then and all I can do is making pictures and being of use.

My written story is now more than 130 pages long. Not only that written down story about her encounters, but more about our feelings, emotions, fantasies. It is more a communication between my wife and me. How we both underwent our changed lifestyle. How we do enjoy it. The memories of tender loving between my wife and her lovers, handjobs, blowjobs, but too sometimes desinterested hard and deep fucking which I wasn’t allowed to interfere (I offered to protect her; she said NO!!).

We do visit that club (or other clubs) once a month. A lot of men are attracted by my wife, most of them are much younger. She is so natural, not mechanic. I’m not allowed to partake. Sometimes my wife wants me to suck dick. When a man cums in her mouth, she forces me to taste his cum.
My wife has become a nymphomaniac, having 10 orgasms (on average, yes I have to count) during that long evenings at that club. My interest in other women dropped nearly to zero. Her delight became my pleasure. What do I want more?
(This year we succeeded to visit that beach at Cap d’Agde, four times. It is really hot to see that couples -or moresomes- having sex. But you have to accept that numerous voyeurs sitting down only a yard from you.)

BUT WHY DO I LIKE IT SO MUCH, MY WIFE BEING A HW? THAT IS THE QUESTION.
My wife’s simple answer this morning:
“Don’t struggle with that question anymore, enjoy about what I’m enjoying. I do like being a HW or cuckolding you. It brought us so close together. We do love each other more than ever. We do like this lifestyle. I‘m extremely excited seeing you be excited. What do you want more?”
BUT YET, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AN ANSWER. Not that I’m feeling guilty. Perhaps the last message from cum4me gives the best answer. I have to think about it. But why only WE? Are we so different from other men? Are we normal men? Or doesn’t matter these questions?

It isn’t liking to watch or voyeurism because you aren’t necessarily with her. (Yes, I’m on her command. I have to watch!!)
It isn’t to enjoy sloppy seconds or becoming bi curious because it is a result, not the origin.
It is more “a mind bending experience for feeling free” or “sexual liberal expression” as some are saying. Yes, too of course, “the HW takes control of events, takes control of her own life.” And we are proud she does. For me, it is giving her all I can give. Consequently too, she is enjoying, in some way, better lovers.

MY COMMENTS ON SOME IMPORTANT MESSAGES (I do like a lot of them)
MikeandDeb wrote (posted Dec 21, 2007):
It may sound strange but swinging and hotwifing have made us a closer couple. We trust each other more than most of our non lifestyle friends. This lifestyle has made us more attuned to each other. I can't think of a better or more fun way to get closer as a couple.
We agree with completely. Our already good marriage has become too even greater and we are closer as ever.

US4bull wrote (posted Jan 15, 2008):
She will entertain and pamper her bull as I dedicate my self to host them both as if they were royalty. I delight in seeing her give maximum pleasure to her long time bull and I indulge my long time voyeuristic desire to partake in the debauchery taking place in every room of the house. They will give each other numerous orgasms and seeing her expressions, listening to her cries for more cock and smelling the mix of body fluids drives me to complete extasy. For her the reward is complete, she will bask in the after glow of many hours of sexual abandon and in the complete pampering she will receive after he departs. As for me, love the complete serenity that follows after all of us have share the most intimate pleasures, kinks and taboos that so many do not get to experience. By the way we have 38 years of happy and fulfilled marriage under the belt.
We both have the same experience. Too the same duration of marriage.

BT2 wrote (posted Nov 12, 2008):
Of course, for it to really work you have to have a good marriage, and it is important that your wife is enjoying herself and wants to be a hotwife, and isn't doing it strictly for her husband's jollies. And best of all, if all goes right, it brings the husband and wife closer together physically, emotionally and sexually.
We fully agree with. I could have written these sentences.

Cum4me wrote (posted Aug 20 2008):
So why would he want his wife to sleep with another man, for the same reason a woman desires to do it. And what greater expression of love and trust could there possibly be between a husband and a wife. To give one's love the freedom to be what they're not supposed to be, or so says society yet secretly want to be, for a woman a slutty whore sometimes. And for us men the sense of not having to be in charge all the time, to give up control, to be in a sense dominated and still be loved and accepted by the one that we love the most. All without the guilt or judgment that would normally come with it. To be sexually alive and fully aware of ourselves with the safety and security of love's ultimate acceptance and understanding of one's needs and desires to be fulfilled and the craving satisfied.
Perhaps the best answer to the question WHY. Thank you cum4me!! Excellent.

Thank you all so much, to write down your feelings here. Keep on with this thread.
When you have questions, please ask them.
Dinoo, Dutchman.

[HerLittleGuy]

Welcome Dinoo! That was a very nice post.

I'm intrigued by the gesture of tossing a key into the river. Is this a dutch custom or just a bit of symbology that you and your Mrs came up with on your own... saying 'farewell' to the old straight life (locking it away?), and 'welcome' to the new fun, exciting life?

I, for one, take heart in the fact that you're diving into this with nearly 40 years on 'near-normal' marriage under your belts. My Mrs and I are coming up on 30 years, but are still struggling with the worries that accompany such a decision. At present, I'd say health-risk concerns are the biggest hurdle for her to overcome. The other, self doubt in her own desirability, is probably easier to deal with (enough compliments from people other than her hubby would fix that ).

Knowing that there are mature couples, who decide to make the leap later in their marriage, gives me hope that perhaps, one day, we too might join the fun.

Thanks again for posting!

hlg

[dinoo]

Hi HerLittleGuy,

That key, tossing in a small river to say farewell to our old rather straight life, isn't a Dutch custom. It came just up to us to symbolize our decision. Every time (once in a week) we pass this bridge over that river, we are watching to "our decision". Fun!!

On behalf of your remark, "the other, self doubt in her own desirability", my wife was very pleased to discover already during the very first evening that the contrary was true. Most men are (much) younger. She was really surprised by this fact. And loved it of course.
But I have to say she is very natural and shows much passion with what she is doing. Moreover, she is still attractive, has a great body and isn't shy. I really think it helps a lot when a wife is openminded and makes contact very easily. Always with a smile. You see, she is a nurse (emergency). To give an example of making contact: I can remember very well a guy with a heavy pearcing in his glans. I thought she wouldn't appreciate his companionship. They were however a long time together. She told me afterwards he was a very nice, polite guy and she was intrigued by his piercings.
Health risk is quite another question. The risk is never zero but we are rather careful.

I made her a summary of what was written in this interesting thread.

Thanks for your comment.

Dinoo (Dutchman)

[cam2share]

Here is a link to an interesting study. It discusses how the penis is designed to remove semen from other men from the vagina. It also says men penetrate deeper and harder when they think their wives have been with other men. But I guess we knew that already!
http://tinyurl.com/yhkc9tc

[54321]

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[cam2share]

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54321

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[54321]

Thanks, cam2share,

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Best wishes,


54321

[Randy_S]

Evolutionary biology?
Can they explain why I prefer a fork to chopsticks?

This reductionism to the monkey is laughable. Can they explain why do I prefer a Thai, or Italian dish, to raw meat? Or a car to a horse?

I like to think that I do what I do because I am sophisticated enough to play with, and manipulate for, my sex drive. Monkeys don't have "sexuality," they have a reproductive strategy, cause bthey don't own their environment.

Just like others discovered that spice improves the flavor of food. I certainly do not need a "doctor" to sanctify my actions using an evolutionary model. That a woman can take several men, that is biology, that we enjoy being a part of that event its cultural. That we use a biological construct to explain it; that is early 21st century dellusion and bs.
We do what we do because we are free to experiment and experience. Try to organize a gangbang in Saudi Arabia and see what happens.

[superman64]

Here is a link to an interesting study. It discusses how the penis is designed to remove semen from other men from the vagina. It also says men penetrate deeper and harder when they think their wives have been with other men. But I guess we knew that already!

I'm skeptical... I'm pretty sure when I'm in there after my wife's FB I'm doing everything I can to push his come further up in there. =) Although it's a lost cause anyway given that he's a good couple of inches longer than me. =)