Unread post
by hwc » Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:59 pm
Quote:
"If a stranger had spied on our household, who would they have thought I’m in a committed relationship with? You or Brian? We both know the answer to that question, Michael! It wasn’t make believe. Brian and I were a real couple! The make believe part was us putting on an act for our friends and family that you and I were still a normal couple. It was Brian and I that were the couple and you were our friend, roommate, servant, and helper! Yes, you were still my husband and I still loved you just as much as ever, but Brian and I were the couple!"
First of all, this excerpt is from one of the very best conversations you have had to date, completely amazing.
One thing I did want to mention though, is that although you were obviously replaced sexually by Brian, I never really did get the feeling of him and Jen actually being a 'real' couple, in the truest sense of the word. Perhaps there is a lot of couple type stuff that you did not mention, (if not you probably should!), but the relationships foundation did seem to predominantly be a sexual one, whereas in normal everyday life, Jen was properly your wife emotionally.
It seems to me that yes, if someone had looked in on the living situation, superficially at least, they may have seen Jen and Brian as a couple, but on closer inspection they would soon have realised that you and Jen were infact the 'real' couple whereas Brian fulfilled a role more akin to a fuck-buddy, albeit an exclusive one...
Would you agree with my assessment? Is it partially true, or is it wide of the mark?
I only mention it because If I were in your shoes, masochist that I am, Jen's stated mission is what I would genuinely hope for - to be replaced both in and out of the bedroom, in and out of the house, as fully as was possible. This would include them spending as much time together as possible, as much time together without me as possible. ALL dates would be between her and him. I would want to feel as much as simply a friend who just so happens to be living in their home as was practical. If anything, those non sexual confirmations of their status as a loving, exclusive, true couple would be far more exciting to me than the actual sex. This would stem from my feelings of jealousy, angst and a need to feel pushed out of the relationship.
This would also be reflected in the way Jen and her boyfriend acted in front of others, particularly friends, if not family. You haven't really mentioned any of these interactions to date, but I do think they would better describe the relationship between you, Jen and the boyfriend if you did. just as an aside on that point, something I would find delicious, although very embarrassing and would hike the jealousy and angst up several notches, would be to suggest, encourage and implement situations were Jen and boyfriend were seen to be 'together'. For instance, if you had friends round, say for dinner, Jen and boyfriend although not out as a couple could be seen to be getting along well, perhaps sitting together on the sofa, chatting, perhaps Jen being a little to overly familiar and obviously flirty, causing the guests to raise eyebrows. To take it up a level, Jen could announce she was going to get ready to go out, get changed into something sexier, like a shorter skirt and tighter top and then say her goodbyes as her and boyfriend go out, ostensibly as just good friends, but actually on a real date. also, you could have friends or family round for dinner and then Jen and her boyfriend could come home, having spent the day together, and pretend it is all innocent making no mention of it and you acting as if it is all above board and nothing untoward or out of the normal.
I love the idea of those sort of situations, is this something that you and Jen have talked about or would consider doing? Would love to hear your thoughts!
I fully understand that this may not be what you envisage as ideal, or what you would want, or even perhaps what Jen would really want, but if not, then Jen's proclamations of the status of the relationship she desires is over-stated, playing a game for effect, which of course is perfectly fine if that is what you both want!
Maybe my view is distorted or skewered because you don't mention as much the quality, boyfriend/girlfriend just hanging out time as actually happens, or date nights, or romantic nights in, rather than just jumping straight to the sexual elements of the relationship between them. If this is nearer the truth, would it possible for you to talk more about those more mundane times next time?
If this is not the case, is it perhaps because you and/or Jen have purposefully kept the relationship a sexual one
rather than full blown boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? If so, would love to hear your thoughts more on this...
