Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Last night SW skipped the spin class and got dolled up to meet a girlfriend (Ms. H, who was the girlfriend of Mr. E until he broke up with her early last May in order to play the field and get more action with his new boat, etc.) for drinks at an active bar/restaurant close to us. Ms. H was in the area for a separate reason, and the girls arranged to meet up. This place is about 100 yards from where we do our spin classes, so SW invited me to swing over there after my workout, which I did. Her text message said they were at the bar. I smiled to myself, that I wouldn't need much effort to spot them even without directions.

They were in good form. Two blonde hotties, holding court at the bar. I've mentioned before that Ms. H is the same size as SW, and on this occasion Ms. H was returning some clothes she'd borrowed from SW.

This bar/restaurant was the same one where we'd been a few times before, upscale, and is a mixed crowd (black and white people). Always one or two athletic black gentlemen at the bar watching a game while checking out the talent. Same last night. Just a contextual reference here. SW had suggested it to Ms. H.

While we were wrapping up the check, Ms. H ran to the restroom in advance of her drive home. SW followed her with her eyes, and then stopped cold. She grabbed me and asked if this guy sitting at a table was my friend Mr. P, who was a regular at our parties during the summer of '20 and also who joins our roadbike rides from time to time. I took a quick look and it was, indeed, this Mr. P, who lives almost an hour drive away. I'd seen him just the night before, at Mr. Italian's house. Mr. Italian had hosted a larger-format boys' night barbecue at his house and about 25 guys showed up, including Mr. P.

I'm mentioning this because Mr. Italian is completing a divorce and one of the things that stands out in my mind is how cruel his soon-to-be ex could be from time to time, especially when drunk. She was a mean drunk. She is of the hottest women in our world, but pretty much over now. She was cruel to her husband and Mr. P because she was incessant in calling Mr. P "gay" and her husband also "gay" because of his friendship with Mr. P.

Back to last night. SW and I looked at each other and decided to lay low while waiting for Ms. H to return from the restroom. When she did return, we asked her to have a look at Mr. P across the way and let us know what she observes. She looked for a minute and said that it appears the two guys at the table were on a date. Mr. P was with a young, tall, handsome and athletic guy.

I said we should depart quietly. But SW had a bit of red wine brashness and led us over to the table and said "Hi Mr. P".

Busted. He jumped up and lost awareness of his friend, and greeted us. I then introduced Ms. H and he had no real choice but to introduce his friend.

We exchanged pleasantries and went on our way.

I asked SW to keep this between us. There is a reason Mr. P is trying to stay in the closet. We will respect it.

[slenderfish]

How in the hell is it possible that Mr. G can possibly keep his hands off that Ass, much less sink his Cock into it!! That man must be made of steel to resist!!!

Ha! Last night after returning home, we were getting ready for bed, etc. and somehow the conversation moved to Mr. G.

SW said to me "I have to get to bed because I have to be ready for Mr. G to pump up my ass tomorrow."

I thanked her for the sentiment and went to sleep with a nice chubby.

It's presently my plan today to be around when she is getting ready for her workout. I'll suggest a more provocative outfit, no matter what she initially decides to wear.

[BallSpanking]

Is SW admitting to wanting a hookup with Mr G, or is she just yanking your chain?

[slenderfish]

Is SW admitting to wanting a hookup with Mr G, or is she just yanking your chain?

Probably more of the latter vs. the former.

It's a positive development nonetheless. This is how SW works.

[Nfhw]

I encourage you to provide more details of the therapy sessions. There are likely many of us that would benefit from knowing how a professional provides trauma relief, and support for trying out the Hotwife experience.

[Mr Mrs Cream]

New Avatar

Her sexy ass looks like this is because mr. G is using her ass and she gained the proper muscels around.

Ha! Last night after returning home, we were getting ready for bed, etc. and somehow the conversation moved to Mr. G.

SW said to me "I have to get to bed because I have to be ready for Mr. G to pump up my ass tomorrow."

I thanked her for the sentiment and went to sleep with a nice chubby.

It's presently my plan today to be around when she is getting ready for her workout. I'll suggest a more provocative outfit, no matter what she initially decides to wear.

Sounds great.
You may ask her to tell mr. G that at home she would try squats with butt plug.

I can imagine her sexy ass butt pluged in the avatar.

[slenderfish]

I encourage you to provide more details of the therapy sessions. There are likely many of us that would benefit from knowing how a professional provides trauma relief, and support for trying out the Hotwife experience.

There was a bit of a pause for a couple of weeks with the therapist because she went out of town with her family over Spring Break. Did a session last week, on Thursday.

My side note: Earlier in this thread it was suggested by another member that SW is "insouciant" and that kind of took root. We embraced this as a trait of SW (as did she) but in the positive definition (e.g. carefree).

1. having or showing freedom from worries or trouble

But there is a negative definition, and that also sometimes applies to SW (e.g. doesn't really care).

2. having or showing a lack of interest or concern

We were having a discussion about something more common (and mundane?) but nonetheless important, mutual appreciation and gratitude. SW didn't grow up in any kind of serious religious pattern and therefore never really had the daily concept of "being grateful" in her life for other people and how they care for her. And therefore doesn't really seem to consider the feelings of others, and not driven to reciprocate their care. This was my point. She burst into my talking, and said "I slept with two men because you wanted me to do it, that's the ultimate of consideration for you."

The therapist's eyes got wide, this unexpected play of the hotwife card as a defensive measure. The therapist chided her for interrupting.

I said that the hotwife discussion has not yet come into our therapy session and that her use of it as a "wild card" is kind of like her throwing a big boulder into a small puddle, that it splashes all the water out and then some, obliterating it. That she just obliterated what I believe is a meaningful point of possible growth and progress in our interaction and daily mutual appreciation. That this "hotwife wild card" can't really be played like this, as the counter to whenever she feels put upon. That the hotwife activities are bedroom matters, and we presently talking about more of the day-to-day elements of our relationship.

The therapist then interjected that she would like to see SW for a solo session next week (this week).

We continued the session and agreed to have homework, to acknowledge each evening prior to retiring, some things that we are grateful for with respect to the other.

SW did have her solo session the day before yesterday (Monday). She has not yet mentioned anything about it. Solo sessions are considered by SW and me to be private between the therapist and the client, so I'll respect that.

[BallSpanking]

Hmmmm ... She sounds resentful.
There is some truth to her protest, perhaps, but generally HW's own that aspect of their behavior, instead of using it as a cudgel.

[Tryn]

It sounds like a wild card my wife would play! Lol! SW and my wife are scarily similar, though my wife doesn’t put much effort into pleasing me. When she does, it usually backfires at me in a similar way.

[rooster444]

Tryn - my exact thoughts as it applies to my wife. She went along with it originally because 'it's all good for me...' and if the topic ever comes up it's 'see what I did for you?' Backfires for sure.

[afagehi7]

I encourage you to provide more details of the therapy sessions. There are likely many of us that would benefit from knowing how a professional provides trauma relief, and support for trying out the Hotwife experience.

There was a bit of a pause for a couple of weeks with the therapist because she went out of town with her family over Spring Break. Did a session last week, on Thursday.

My side note: Earlier in this thread it was suggested by another member that SW is "insouciant" and that kind of took root. We embraced this as a trait of SW (as did she) but in the positive definition (e.g. carefree).

1. having or showing freedom from worries or trouble

But there is a negative definition, and that also sometimes applies to SW (e.g. doesn't really care).

2. having or showing a lack of interest or concern

We were having a discussion about something more common (and mundane?) but nonetheless important, mutual appreciation and gratitude. SW didn't grow up in any kind of serious religious pattern and therefore never really had the daily concept of "being grateful" in her life for other people and how they care for her. And therefore doesn't really seem to consider the feelings of others, and not driven to reciprocate their care. This was my point. She burst into my talking, and said "I slept with two men because you wanted me to do it, that's the ultimate of consideration for you."

The therapist's eyes got wide, this unexpected play of the hotwife card as a defensive measure. The therapist chided her for interrupting.

I said that the hotwife discussion has not yet come into our therapy session and that her use of it as a "wild card" is kind of like her throwing a big boulder into a small puddle, that it splashes all the water out and then some, obliterating it. That she just obliterated what I believe is a meaningful point of possible growth and progress in our interaction and daily mutual appreciation. That this "hotwife wild card" can't really be played like this, as the counter to whenever she feels put upon. That the hotwife activities are bedroom matters, and we presently talking about more of the day-to-day elements of our relationship.

The therapist then interjected that she would like to see SW for a solo session next week (this week).

We continued the session and agreed to have homework, to acknowledge each evening prior to retiring, some things that we are grateful for with respect to the other.

SW did have her solo session the day before yesterday (Monday). She has not yet mentioned anything about it. Solo sessions are considered by SW and me to be private between the therapist and the client, so I'll respect that.

Narcissistic could be a description? That could be because no one cared about her when young so she had to care for herself or too much caring whereby she became the center of the universe? Everyone has narcissist tendencies, it's human nature, just some people are more than others.

One exercise I like to do with wife and anyone is to cut my story short rather abruptly and see if they notice: eg wait, then what happened... rarely is it noticed and usually they're just waiting to talk about themselves. I may be as asshole, but I'm genuine and I don't fake anything. I guess that's why I'm not popular.

As for private sessions, unless she invades upon yours, I agree it's a private matter unless she cares to divulge.

I'm certain that the hotwife wild card boulder came up in her one to one... I thought that the therapist already knew about this? Personally I would probably ask if it came up but no additional information, just so I knew what was in the open.

Her throwing the boulder means that you struck something and she felt like she had to defend herself.

Does she seem to have more one on one with SW or is it about even?

Just my thoughts and it's worth about as much as you paid for it.

[slenderfish]

Tryn - my exact thoughts as it applies to my wife. She went along with it originally because 'it's all good for me...' and if the topic ever comes up it's 'see what I did for you?' Backfires for sure.

This was always an expected outcome, by me (e.g. provide this wild card that may show up at random moments).

Comes with the territory, I suppose.

[slenderfish]

So today I was on the phone with our friend (Ms. I) in Europe. We are planning for attendance at the birthday party, travel details, number of days, whether she is bringing her boyfriend, etc.

Given that she (Ms. I) was with me/us as a third wheel at that dinner last October (when she was here in the U.S.), and witnessed SW's proclamation that I "will get my greatest wish by my birthday," I figured I would take the opportunity to see if she (Ms. I) has any thoughts on the matter.

I asked her, outright, to recall that proclamation and to look back in her mind's eye and her intuition as to what SW might have been implying at the time. Specifically, if it was something related to her reconnecting with the significant other of one of my best friends (so that we may resume the closer friendship as couples) or if it was something else. Ms. I immediately said, even before I finished with the second option (friendship thing), that she remains under the strong impression the promise is representing something very private between SW and me.

I asked Ms. I if she thinks it is appropriate for me to start some kind of subtle conversation right about now (some weeks ahead of the birthday) to clarify what I believe my "greatest wish" is, to reduce the possibility that (a) SW forgot or (b) SW can become clear about this wish and be sure to fulfill the correct thing.

Ms. I said it's the exact right time to drop the subtle hints. That her longstanding relationship with SW dictates that SW needs time to process things in order to make them happen.

Hmm...

[BallSpanking]

In view of your upcoming birthday celebrations, would it be appropriate if Ms I asked SW if she had acted on fulfilling your greatest fantasy?

[subtoall]

SW did have her solo session the day before yesterday (Monday). She has not yet mentioned anything about it. Solo sessions are considered by SW and me to be private between the therapist and the client, so I'll respect that.

I'm surprised you're keeping things confidential in one on one sessions between the therapist and SW that are a part of your couple's therapy. In my experience, most good couple's therapists will discuss a "No Secrets" policy with you in your first session. This policy usually means that she will require that anything one of you shares with her, she will expect you to share that with your spouse shortly afterwards or she will share it with the spouse. Secrets are toxic to couple's therapy.

This is also how she manages the reality that the relationship is the client (as opposed to either of the individuals), even while she is meeting with only one of the pair.

So in my book, it should be perfectly fine for you to ask her about her one on one session with the therapist, and vice versa. About the only valid reason she should hold back on sharing with you what they talked about would be if she or the therapist believe it best to wait for all 3 of you to be together at the next session before discussing it.

[slenderfish]

This is an excellent idea. I have a call with Ms. I in about an hour. I'll see if I can get it into the conversation.

[rooster444]

When is the birthday? I guess it's her 's*** or get off the pot' drop-dead date to get something done. If it doesn't happen, oh well...it has been fun.

[BallSpanking]

Contradictions ...

Even when a woman becomes a HW, she remains full of contradictions.

[slenderfish]

When is the birthday? I guess it's her 's*** or get off the pot' drop-dead date to get something done. If it doesn't happen, oh well...it has been fun.

Birthday is in mid-June.

[slenderfish]

Separate side subject. A certain popular movie figure recently pleaded guilty in New York to forcibly touching a woman. SW had a similar experience, and I was there. It did not go over the line to something illegal, but was clearly aggressive and insistent. No touching of private parts. Off and on over the course of two hours while we were attending a party hosted at my good friend's sister's house. By the end of the party, SW was actively avoiding being anywhere near him (actually running away and pushing his hands away), and it kind of ruined the party for her.

We had been looking at this from a hotwife perspective, in that SW does get attention, especially when she's all dolled up. She even was wondering if I had somehow encouraged it.

As time and space passed, we looked back on it more as this whole "protected-class narcissism" where these folks truly believe normal rules don't apply to them. And they believe their handlers protect them.

And of course recent years' resurgence of women's rights in these historically male-dominated and protected industries, it's taken on a very different light.

It's quite a tapdance, specially nowadays, being a hotwife husband. I like the attention given to her, but have to be extra diligent to be sure it's coming from the right place with the right energy.

This is one of the reasons why I stayed away from any after-the-fact conversation a couple of months ago after SW's exchange at the dance bar/club with that porn star guy.

[BallSpanking]

The behavior of certain men is inexcusable, regardless of the time period or social class. An unwelcome/offensive touching is ASSAULT. It is a crime, and prosecutable civilly as well. This man-pig did not know how to keep his hands to himself and his pecker in his trousers, is a reflection of a lack of upbringing and ethical foundation, objectifying women, and quite probably class-related. That behavior is thuggish and deplorable, it is too bad such morons consume valuable oxygen.

[afagehi7]

Separate side subject. A certain popular movie figure recently pleaded guilty in New York to forcibly touching a woman. SW had a similar experience, and I was there. It did not go over the line to something illegal, but was clearly aggressive and insistent. No touching of private parts. Off and on over the course of two hours while we were attending a party hosted at my good friend's sister's house. By the end of the party, SW was actively avoiding being anywhere near him (actually running away and pushing his hands away), and it kind of ruined the party for her.

We had been looking at this from a hotwife perspective, in that SW does get attention, especially when she's all dolled up. She even was wondering if I had somehow encouraged it.

As time and space passed, we looked back on it more as this whole "protected-class narcissism" where these folks truly believe normal rules don't apply to them. And they believe their handlers protect them.

And of course recent years' resurgence of women's rights in these historically male-dominated and protected industries, it's taken on a very different light.

It's quite a tapdance, specially nowadays, being a hotwife husband. I like the attention given to her, but have to be extra diligent to be sure it's coming from the right place with the right energy.

This is one of the reasons why I stayed away from any after-the-fact conversation a couple of months ago after SW's exchange at the dance bar/club with that porn star guy.

You're saying a similar incident happened with another celeb or with this unnamed celeb that we have no idea who it is?

I don't understand the bold. The statement before, yeah... but I don't make the connection.

One thing that's difficult is there are such different standards. If I were to be staring at SWs tits at a party I'd be a creep and harassing her, if it was Idris Elba it would be flattering. There's no line as to what is what, it's arbitrary..I ask SW if she wants to come to my room and make her husband a cuck, I'm harassing her,. Idris Elba is flattering. (Actually Idris would be making you a cuck hahahahahah)

[BallSpanking]

I think the line actually is clear. If the attention is unwelcome, unwanted, and persistent, it is harassment (even for Idris Elba).
Of course that determination is ultimately made by the woman in question, but publicly,
such blatant objectification is generally understood to be distasteful and offensive.

[slenderfish]

You're saying a similar incident happened with another celeb or with this unnamed celeb that we have no idea who it is?

I don't understand the bold. The statement before, yeah... but I don't make the connection.

One thing that's difficult is there are such different standards. If I were to be staring at SWs tits at a party I'd be a creep and harassing her, if it was Idris Elba it would be flattering. There's no line as to what is what, it's arbitrary..I ask SW if she wants to come to my room and make her husband a cuck, I'm harassing her,. Idris Elba is flattering. (Actually Idris would be making you a cuck hahahahahah)

SW used to live in NYC, I've mentioned in the past.

I deliberately kept the reference to the specific celeb unclear. But let's just say it's a very similar situation as the one who recently pleaded guilty (same type of guy, same industry, etc.).

Ballspank is correct. Initially SW was surprised and perhaps flattered. But she made it clear she was not interested. As the party continued, this man kept seeking her out (as she moved away from room to room) and literally grabbing her elbow to pull her away, also grabbing the side of her hip the next time, etc. but she got to the point where she had to say "leave me alone" and yet he persisted. It was about to become a scene, as I began to become concerned and SW saw that I was going to intercede. But we avoided it somehow.

As for the more recent interaction with the porn star guy, his group was being very noisy and he started to act aggressive, kind of showing off to the other guys, so SW immediately took the offensive and spurned him down. And when the subject came up some days later, I could tell she had this negative energy so left it alone.

[slenderfish]

In view of your upcoming birthday celebrations, would it be appropriate if Ms I asked SW if she had acted on fulfilling your greatest fantasy?

I did speak with Ms. I about asking SW for update on her intention regarding fulfilling my fantasy. She agreed to take this one and run with it, and even told me how she will approach it.