Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Farmgirl]

QUESTION: I am a wannabe cuck, and my wife very down to earth, but I try small steps with her. Sometimes, in rare ocasions, she will make small things that I enjoy, like when she played with her feet on the feet of a mutual male friend. It was exciting to see her in the jacuzi relaxing and her feet touching on him! She is very shy and doenst enjoy speaking to much about sex or other stuff, so my question is: should I motivate her when she makes such things or should I shut up? Imean, should I tell her that Ienjoyed seeing her touching with her feet on our friend, or should I give her space? The feet case is just an example to explain this question, since it was a year ago I will not speak with her about that, my strategy in that ocasion was to no speak, but I would like to read your opinion about future situations where she may play with other guys like this. Thanks!

I hope you girls dont mind bumping my question.

I'm a fan of honest communication especially between spouses or committed partners. Why would you not want to tell her of the things that turn you on?

[overmyhead]

I would really appreciate a woman’s perspective on what I’ve been going through with my wife of 20 years. My thread is in the ‘Hotwife’ section and it’s called Big Update. I have an earlier thread too but I can’t remember the title. If you can help shed some light on the actions of my wife and tell if I’m being unreasonable, I would really appreciate your help. Thanks in advance.
Overmyhead

[feetuji]

QUESTION: I am a wannabe cuck, and my wife very down to earth, but I try small steps with her. Sometimes, in rare ocasions, she will make small things that I enjoy, like when she played with her feet on the feet of a mutual male friend. It was exciting to see her in the jacuzi relaxing and her feet touching on him! She is very shy and doenst enjoy speaking to much about sex or other stuff, so my question is: should I motivate her when she makes such things or should I shut up? Imean, should I tell her that Ienjoyed seeing her touching with her feet on our friend, or should I give her space? The feet case is just an example to explain this question, since it was a year ago I will not speak with her about that, my strategy in that ocasion was to no speak, but I would like to read your opinion about future situations where she may play with other guys like this. Thanks!

I hope you girls dont mind bumping my question.

I'm a fan of honest communication especially between spouses or committed partners. Why would you not want to tell her of the things that turn you on?

Thanks for your reply. She feels embarassed with certain talks, thats why I dont know what to do. Nevertheless She is more open these days, i expect to talk about nee things that may happen.

[Farmgirl]

I would really appreciate a woman’s perspective on what I’ve been going through with my wife of 20 years. My thread is in the ‘Hotwife’ section and it’s called Big Update. I have an earlier thread too but I can’t remember the title. If you can help shed some light on the actions of my wife and tell if I’m being unreasonable, I would really appreciate your help. Thanks in advance.
Overmyhead

Overmyhead, I responded to your thread as did 2inUP. We both advised communication, I still do.
I have an understanding of your situation because I was in the same place as your wife. You two were married 20 years when you amended your marriage agreement. My Number1 and I were married 19 years when we decided to amend ours. I fell too far for my first 'other' guy as it seems your wife did too.
You two started out with the standard marriage agreement but with your urging the two of you amended it for her to be a Hotwife. It sounds like neither of you made it clear to the other just how it was supposed to work and what if any limits were to be in place.
I don't think you are being unreasonable but, neither do I think she is being unreasonable. Your new agreement wasn't well thought out because you two weren't communicating.
Now you two are living under the new marriage agreement. It was decided on and agreed to by both of you. You want to go back to the old agreement, she does not. The truth is that you can't just go back to the old one, it has been forever changed. Now the two of you need to amend this one to be something that the both of you can enjoy. This newer amendment can closely resemble the original one, it can resemble the current one, or it can be something new.
Ya'll can work this out, you can come out of it stronger than before with a better more trusting marriage. Forget all of the advice to not trust your wife, you can't move forward without trust. Come together and work out a newer, better agreement. All it takes is that communication.
This is something you both agreed to, agree to repair it in whatever form meets both of your needs.

[LuvMyFitWife]

Hi VHWs

Did you find your self-confidence increased and you felt more attractive upon becoming Hotwives? If so do those feelings carry over into the other areas of your life ? i.e. do you feel more confident professionally, when talking to other women, at the gym?

I would think that it can’t help but boost your ego, knowing that other men find you desirable.

Thanks as always for your feedback.

[Kate88]

Hi VHWs

Did you find your self-confidence increased and you felt more attractive upon becoming Hotwives? If so do those feelings carry over into the other areas of your life ? i.e. do you feel more confident professionally, when talking to other women, at the gym?

I would think that it can’t help but boost your ego, knowing that other men find you desirable.

Thanks as always for your feedback.

Definitely helped to become more confident. But also more relaxed and happy with myself. I've been career oriented but now thinking to become a housewife.

[Rocket11]

Dear Hotwifes,
i need your help. I fantasize a lot in the last couple of years about sharing my wife. We are both 42, since 15 years together, 7 married with two kids.

In the beginning i was very jelouse, dominant and masculine. Our sex was fine, but i had the comparrison to my former girls and have to say, that my wife is very prude and shy in bed.
I loved the fact, that she was not a slut and didnt push the envelope.
She defenitly isnt into anal, dont like dirty talk at all.

She says that she had two boyfriends before we met, no ons and i believe her.
But since my desire of sharing her is getting stronger and stronger i would like to ask you.

Is it really possible that she would not be in that hotwife thing at all. Maybe she isnt that Kind of women.
I have to say that her sexdrive always has been very low. She likes and enjoys sex, but defenitly not like some girls from my past.

I tried couple of times to talk to her, said her how sexy she is and that i like how other men are starring at her big breasts. In bed i try some dirty talk, how every men would love to fuck her and that i wouldnt mind if they get an errection in the Sauna when they see her naked.
She always wants to stop the talking and thinks that i am only joking.
in our last summer vacation where an arab guy was starring at her on the beach, then when she was alone he talked to her some nonnsense and she could see that he had a massive errection.
I become so arroused and tald it to her. Showed her my errection and fucked her brains out in the hotelroom.

Even then she cannot believe i am seriouse. Maybe because i was so jelous in the beginning.

What would you do in my position. How can i proove to her, that i have changed and want at least to show her off in the sauna or beach. Maybe in a swingers club.

Thank you very much.

Ps. I have to say that my wife is really really hot. blonde, tight body and jeucy 85E boobs. She is a perfect MILF but never had big self esteem. And i know that this is the main problem.

[SexyWifeLisaHubbyACE]

Wife is petite and shy after a year and 2 months. We have our Top fantasy list. We like the same things & decided to focus on those fantasies which are FFM, Stranger, Sensual Cuckold MFM Threesome
To my surprise MFM CAME IN AT #3. I Honestly had been the one who made it into something she would be very interested in. Here is how i went about it. At first she was just okay with a MFM threesome but she was into the FFM big time. Her rule for me was NO Penetration she would not feel comfortable seeing me penetrating another woman so that was off limits. And to this day still no penetration only with my wife also she starts out with the other female in a Twosome one on one action for 30 min's that's how she wanted and then she signal me in to join. Two months later she watch a movie called, "Savages" it really turn her on and what she described was the woman had two guys one made soft & slow passionate love and other was more rough and hard. Her rules started out with new guy only allowed doggy style then she was okay with positions where she has her back facing away from him. Also no kissing, must wear condom, no anal at all, and definitely our favorite 2 positions off limits.
In the next 4 - 5 months I read many forums and websites & I found myself turned completely on by the way this certain fantasy was called Sharing your wife wit another man fuckin your wife and her enjoying it and the husband Watching with a hard on and I found myself so hard imagining my wife and another man. However, the more I thought about it I had to make it exciting for my wife like Sensual & unique.
This is what I did i made it into a Sensual Cuckold MFM Threesome. I told my wife how this was much better than just a regular threesome.
I let her know it started with a Sensual massage so she be comfortable and relaxed. I ask what rules would she like in placed? This is what she wanted, make sure new guy does doggy style and her #1 all time favorite that was to be Spooned and to make sure he did those two no matter what.
She wanted wheelbarrow & missionary off limits only for us.
She said no anal, no deep heavy passionate kissing but agreed short Kisses/lightly kissing would showed gratitude & appreciation.


I found out her preferences. Here's SexyWife preferences wants Caucasian male circumcised, 5'9" or taller, also would like penis size 5"-7". I ask her what he us slightly under 5" SexyWife said this no way has to be over 5" and definitely no bigger than 7 1/2" under 7 1/2" and for girth wants average or kinda thick. Also likes eye color to be blue, green, or Hazel. Body type as long as he's not real big. She said from Athletic to few extra pounds. However she loves bikers so if he is a biker that's a huge bonus.

Is SexyWife's preferences too much or understandably normal?

[2inUPMichigan]

Wife is petite and shy after a year and 2 months. We have our Top fantasy list. We like the same things & decided to focus on those fantasies which are FFM, Stranger, Sensual Cuckold MFM Threesome
To my surprise MFM CAME IN AT #3. I Honestly had been the one who made it into something she would be very interested in. Here is how i went about it. At first she was just okay with a MFM threesome but she was into the FFM big time. Her rule for me was NO Penetration she would not feel comfortable seeing me penetrating another woman so that was off limits. And to this day still no penetration only with my wife also she starts out with the other female in a Twosome one on one action for 30 min's that's how she wanted and then she signal me in to join. Two months later she watch a movie called, "Savages" it really turn her on and what she described was the woman had two guys one made soft & slow passionate love and other was more rough and hard. Her rules started out with new guy only allowed doggy style then she was okay with positions where she has her back facing away from him. Also no kissing, must wear condom, no anal at all, and definitely our favorite 2 positions off limits.
In the next 4 - 5 months I read many forums and websites & I found myself turned completely on by the way this certain fantasy was called Sharing your wife wit another man fuckin your wife and her enjoying it and the husband Watching with a hard on and I found myself so hard imagining my wife and another man. However, the more I thought about it I had to make it exciting for my wife like Sensual & unique.
This is what I did i made it into a Sensual Cuckold MFM Threesome. I told my wife how this was much better than just a regular threesome.
I let her know it started with a Sensual massage so she be comfortable and relaxed. I ask what rules would she like in placed? This is what she wanted, make sure new guy does doggy style and her #1 all time favorite that was to be Spooned and to make sure he did those two no matter what.
She wanted wheelbarrow & missionary off limits only for us.
She said no anal, no deep heavy passionate kissing but agreed short Kisses/lightly kissing would showed gratitude & appreciation.


I found out her preferences. Here's SexyWife preferences wants Caucasian male circumcised, 5'9" or taller, also would like penis size 5"-7". I ask her what he us slightly under 5" SexyWife said this no way has to be over 5" and definitely no bigger than 7 1/2" under 7 1/2" and for girth wants average or kinda thick. Also likes eye color to be blue, green, or Hazel. Body type as long as he's not real big. She said from Athletic to few extra pounds. However she loves bikers so if he is a biker that's a huge bonus.

Is SexyWife's preferences too much or understandably normal?

There is no such thing as "normal" as we are all a bit different in what we are looking for. However I can tell you that I have often given out the advice to never lower your standards for anyone or you will be disappointed. If those are her search parameters then it might take her a little longer, but how awesome will it be when she finds someone who fits what she is looking for

Enjoy the search

[2inUPMichigan]

Dear Hotwifes,
i need your help. I fantasize a lot in the last couple of years about sharing my wife. We are both 42, since 15 years together, 7 married with two kids.

In the beginning i was very jelouse, dominant and masculine. Our sex was fine, but i had the comparrison to my former girls and have to say, that my wife is very prude and shy in bed.
I loved the fact, that she was not a slut and didnt push the envelope.
She defenitly isnt into anal, dont like dirty talk at all.

She says that she had two boyfriends before we met, no ons and i believe her.
But since my desire of sharing her is getting stronger and stronger i would like to ask you.

Is it really possible that she would not be in that hotwife thing at all. Maybe she isnt that Kind of women.
I have to say that her sexdrive always has been very low. She likes and enjoys sex, but defenitly not like some girls from my past.

I tried couple of times to talk to her, said her how sexy she is and that i like how other men are starring at her big breasts. In bed i try some dirty talk, how every men would love to fuck her and that i wouldnt mind if they get an errection in the Sauna when they see her naked.
She always wants to stop the talking and thinks that i am only joking.
in our last summer vacation where an arab guy was starring at her on the beach, then when she was alone he talked to her some nonnsense and she could see that he had a massive errection.
I become so arroused and tald it to her. Showed her my errection and fucked her brains out in the hotelroom.

Even then she cannot believe i am seriouse. Maybe because i was so jelous in the beginning.

What would you do in my position. How can i proove to her, that i have changed and want at least to show her off in the sauna or beach. Maybe in a swingers club.

Thank you very much.

Ps. I have to say that my wife is really really hot. blonde, tight body and jeucy 85E boobs. She is a perfect MILF but never had big self esteem. And i know that this is the main problem.

I think that you are talking to her only about how this turns you on. What reasons would she have for doing this? If you think about that question you might think of another way to approach her.

I'm not saying that she will be receptive because a lot of women will not be interested, some will only be willing to role play in the bedroom and a few will be willing to take that big step to explore this in real life.

Becoming a hotwife is much more than deciding if you will have sex with someone else. It is shifting your mindset from monogamy to non-monogamy.

Be sure you are ready for this before you approach the subject!
Good luck

[Blugoose580]

Why do men struggle with reading comprehension?

I guess this would be a bad place to ask for your favorite cookie recipe then?? ( that's for you Farmgirl!!!)

BTW I don't really do cookies, I prefer to do cream pies!

Speaking of creampies or as I like to refer to them as dessert. Is this a turn on to women having a man lick her clean after wards or do they find it as a turnoff?

[Farmgirl]

Why do men struggle with reading comprehension?

I guess this would be a bad place to ask for your favorite cookie recipe then?? ( that's for you Farmgirl!!!)

BTW I don't really do cookies, I prefer to do cream pies!

Speaking of creampies or as I like to refer to them as dessert. Is this a turn on to women having a man lick her clean after wards or do they find it as a turnoff?

I can't speak for all women but, for me, it is very much something I like my husband to do. The turn-on is his outward show of encouragement, love, and support. When he does that for me, I know he is enjoying who I am.

[powah]

Dear hotwifes,

After implanting the idea of hotwifing to my wife and after many rejections, she has admitted she would like to sleep with another man. She thought I was just fantasizing until I told her she could go the whole way up to no condom, as long as safe sex and STI screening is done.

She is hesistant in terms of safety and advised I can be in the room and we can screen all potential bulls and the choice of man is her choice entirely and always chose a safe option. I have suggested she could try online role playing with other bulls. Is this the best place to learn.

As she has only been with me she is afraid she has no flirting ability and wants help. What is the best way for my wife to educate and practice? Find a role play offering beginners, find a hotwife to help or ask a bull.

She is also a BBW 210lb / 95kg, I assured her many men would still want to sleep with her, could that be an issue?

[Farmgirl]

Dear hotwifes,

After implanting the idea of hotwifing to my wife and after many rejections, she has admitted she would like to sleep with another man. She thought I was just fantasizing until I told her she could go the whole way up to no condom, as long as safe sex and STI screening is done.

She is hesistant in terms of safety and advised I can be in the room and we can screen all potential bulls and the choice of man is her choice entirely and always chose a safe option. I have suggested she could try online role playing with other bulls. Is this the best place to learn.

As she has only been with me she is afraid she has no flirting ability and wants help. What is the best way for my wife to educate and practice? Find a role play offering beginners, find a hotwife to help or ask a bull.

She is also a BBW 210lb / 95kg, I assured her many men would still want to sleep with her, could that be an issue?

Men like all sizes, ages, hair colors, ect. !

I have said many times, flirting is as simple as making eye contact and smiling, holding the eye contact just a little longer than normal. Escalate as you see fit!
Safety-wise, I play with guys I know or have gotten to know.

You'll find that there are as many ways to do this as there are Hotwives. There is no right or wrong way as long as you two are taking care of each other.
If she will join and become verified, she can talk privately to us VHWs.

[Elling50]

How important is hotwifing to you?

If your husband wanted it to stop, would you
- be happy to stop with no remorse and no looking back?
- resent his wish but accept and go back to monogamy?
- telling him no way, its your body and you will continue to do what you want to do with it?

[Cookiescream]

How important is hotwifing to you?

If your husband wanted it to stop, would you
- be happy to stop with no remorse and no looking back?
- resent his wish but accept and go back to monogamy?
- telling him no way, its your body and you will continue to do what you want to do with it?

My mistake, I forgot this is for VHWs to reply.

[Farmgirl]

How important is hotwifing to you?

If your husband wanted it to stop, would you
- be happy to stop with no remorse and no looking back?
- resent his wish but accept and go back to monogamy?
- telling him no way, its your body and you will continue to do what you want to do with it?

If these are things you are concerned about, you aren't really ready for your wife to see another man. I don't mean that in a bad or mean way but, if that is your thoughts and fears, then you don't trust or know your wife enough for this lifestyle yet. When you two are ready and trust and communicate as you should, those things won't be relevant.

[SexyWifeLisaHubbyACE]

Like to get more than one Hotwives advice/opinion.

How long should you wait as a couple before we try out this fantasy Cuckold/Hotwife Fantasy?

Also should we start out with doing a Cuckold MFM Threesome?
or do we work together to help her find someone she would have sex with and let her go out to get pick up while i watch her safety and make sure nothing goes wrong?

Or should we join an Adultxxx dating site? or maybe go to a cuckold share wife or hotwife dating sites?

[2inUPMichigan]

Like to get more than one Hotwives advice/opinion.

How long should you wait as a couple before we try out this fantasy Cuckold/Hotwife Fantasy?

Also should we start out with doing a Cuckold MFM Threesome?
or do we work together to help her find someone she would have sex with and let her go out to get pick up while i watch her safety and make sure nothing goes wrong?

Or should we join an Adultxxx dating site? or maybe go to a cuckold share wife or hotwife dating sites?

I answered part of your questions in your thread (about the timing) but I will address some of the other concerns here.

It really is very much an individual choice on what the best option is for the two of you. Some couples prefer MFM and others prefer for her to play alone or with him in the room watching. No one option is better it is all about what works best for the two of you.

Again with picking out men it varies. I always choose the men that I go on play dates with. If I have any doubts I can always run them by my husband, but as he said "I trust you and no one will know better than you what you are looking for".
Some couples prefer to pick out men together and in some cases the hotwives ask their husbands to screen the men for them. It really is about what works for the two of you.

We have some basic safety guidelines that we agreed on when we first started to help ensure my safety and make hubby feel more comfortable. I never give out my last name, address or phone number (use a Google voice number instead). I always meet someone new in a very public setting that has a lot of security.

I also do not meet anyone without getting to know them a little bit online first. I ask a lot of questions and have no problem turning down anyone who raises too many red flags.

I have found all the men that I have played with on SLS (swing lifestyle). I like that site because a lot of the men seem to understand the hotwife dynamic. (So much easier than explaining it!)

[2inUPMichigan]

How important is hotwifing to you?

If your husband wanted it to stop, would you
- be happy to stop with no remorse and no looking back?
- resent his wish but accept and go back to monogamy?
- telling him no way, its your body and you will continue to do what you want to do with it?

I looked back at your posts and there was a post in December that stated your wife wasn't interested in having sex with other men.

Are you concerned that if she did agree you would change your mind?
Are you concerned that the reality won't be the same as the fantasy?

I hesitate to answer your original question and I will tell you why. I'm not your wife and the way I might respond could be completely different than the way she would simply because we are different and our circumstances are different.
If I answer one way and then you expect that answer from your wife but are surprised when she answers a completely different way, that wouldn't be good

How important is hotwifing to you?

[ckathrill]

Is flexibility the issue?

I have been trying to imitate the various positions her boyfriends use when fucking her. I am 5.5 inches so not really small. I can only fuck her in the following positions: missionary, standing at edge of bed while she is sitting at the edge, her on top and doggy style.

Other guys fuck her from behind while she is laying face down one the bed; spoon her laying down from behind; fuck her with him kneeling and her laying on her side and he is sort of between her legs with one leg over her leg. I even could not adequately enter her when I sat on an armless chair and she sat on my cock (the seat maybe should be longer so I can skootch down more) Of course, these guys are usually 7 in or more.

Granted we are pretty old and it is laughable when we move from one position to another so slowly. But shouldn’t I be long enough to fuck her in these other positions?

[SuperHardYEG1]

Okay, I'm a very curious if any hotwife has ever fucked a guy that their husband didn't approve/disliked, and if so, why and did you ever tell your husband that you did? Thanks.
I've been a hotwife bull/fwb for the last 15years, been with 8 couples in that time, vanilla is not for me!

[early-kink]

I have a question for the ladies - and it's kind of "mechanical."

When I read of hotwives saying that their BF's / FWB's "pounded them" like their husbands do not / can't ........... what do you mean by that??

I ask this because I once saw a female on a talk show forcefully strike the shoulder of the male host with 3 fingers held tight together. She asked him if that felt great. She told him that neither does it feel great for women to be penetrated like that, and it's NOT what gets women to have orgasms. (I'm assuming she meant no clitoral stimulation?) She said a dull "thumping" against the cervix isn't pleasurable.

So ................ do some of you like to be "pounded" and prefer sex to be a bit "rougher" ?? Does being "pounded" hurt at all ??

Open to all LADIES' input!!

[Kate88]

I have a question for the ladies - and it's kind of "mechanical."

When I read of hotwives saying that their BF's / FWB's "pounded them" like their husbands do not / can't ........... what do you mean by that??

I ask this because I once saw a female on a talk show forcefully strike the shoulder of the male host with 3 fingers held tight together. She asked him if that felt great. She told him that neither does it feel great for women to be penetrated like that, and it's NOT what gets women to have orgasms. (I'm assuming she meant no clitoral stimulation?) She said a dull "thumping" against the cervix isn't pleasurable.

So ................ do some of you like to be "pounded" and prefer sex to be a bit "rougher" ?? Does being "pounded" hurt at all ??

Open to all LADIES' input!!

A couple times I had to 'tap out' when having sex with my boyfriend because I thought his cock would break through my cervix, quite painful. Having said that, if we're warmed up and in a comfortable position, I love taking his big cock fast and furious, it shows how much he misses me and it's not something my husband can do.

[Husbands Kandi]

Is flexibility the issue?

I have been trying to imitate the various positions her boyfriends use when fucking her. I am 5.5 inches so not really small. I can only fuck her in the following positions: missionary, standing at edge of bed while she is sitting at the edge, her on top and doggy style.

Other guys fuck her from behind while she is laying face down one the bed; spoon her laying down from behind; fuck her with him kneeling and her laying on her side and he is sort of between her legs with one leg over her leg. I even could not adequately enter her when I sat on an armless chair and she sat on my cock (the seat maybe should be longer so I can skootch down more) Of course, these guys are usually 7 in or more.

Granted we are pretty old and it is laughable when we move from one position to another so slowly. But shouldn’t I be long enough to fuck her in these other positions?

Hi ckathrill. Flexibility might be part of it. I think it's boils down to practice (and maybe stretching ). Kentros is 7 inches and doesn't do well with some of these positions. He's pretty much a fan of the 3 you mentioned. But other lovers do all the others you've listed. BTW - fuck her with him kneeling and her laying on her side and he is sort of between her legs with one leg over her leg- that's my favorite!!! It's called Splitting Bamboo. A lover gets to see and has access to everything that way!! Maybe chat with the wife - and think about which you'd really like to do - and practice at it.