Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Her complexities are as much a source of entertainment and stimulus for engagement as the beautiful package it all comes in

Yes, Indeed.

I was watching tv a bit ago, and kind of doziing, when the niece (who lives with us) called out from her room asking if I've see the dog. I had not so woke myself up to check on the dog, which turns out was upstairs waiting for me to go up to bed. When I brought the dog down to niece, I realized that SW was on a facetime call with niece and had asked about the dog.

I was glad to locate the dog for SW (via niece) and wondered why SW hadn't just called me. I'd called her earlier in the day to check in and say hello, in follow-up from last night's call.

But at the same time, it's not unusual for her to not call me when she's on this kind of visit.

[slenderfish]

Hmmmmm. Could it be SW had sex with Mr S and is not yet ready to face you?

Good question. I kind of telegraphed this in my post from a couple of days ago, that we apparently are at an inflection point where Mr. S is supposedly headed for the friend zone (according to all reports by SW prior to her trip) and also everything she has indicated during this trip.

But as i said before, she broke form (of paucity of communication) on Friday and over communicated. So much so that I noted it here. She essentially went out of her way to account for every part of her day, even until late late, too late.

Today she had lunch plans again with her mother and niece, kind of a last hurrah, since she will return home tomorrow on a mid-afternoon flight. When we did speak early afternoon, she said she had dinner plans with some friends (older couple) who used to live close us and we were pretty good friends at the time and, by coincidence, the wife is from the same hometown as SF and they moved back to that area several years ago. This couple lives about 1/3 mile from the hotel. Very convenient!

But I got a text a couple hours later saying this couple had cancelled, not feeling well, and that she would be spending the evening by herself with a book. I recommended she relax and enjoy the quiet time.

I do know her well enough that when she's by herself and a glass or two of wine in her, she will almost certainly call Mr. S and/or Mr. M. She's demonstrated that inclination any number of times.

So I will bet she did at least call Mr. S assuming she was not building some kind of ruse with the friends who cancelled. The uncertain point at this time is a) whether he was ever in the friend zone; b) if not, then there is a big cover story that is growing by the day; c) if so, is this friend reclassification momentum sufficient for each of them (or both of them) to remain as such.

I'm really curious as to the frequency and duration of communications between them during her trip.

Also with Mr. M.

I'll answer your question another way. It could be. I hope they did, but I also hope she shares it with me soon if they did. If she keeps it hidden for longer than a day or so after her return, then it falls over into the unacceptable category. If she keeps it to herself while she's there and also for a day after her return, although certainly not my preference by any means, it's probably within the realm of acceptable.

It's a nice coincidence that her last night ends up with her plans cancelled, and her being alone in the nice hotel. If there was going to be a last-night encounter, it'll be happening right now, as I write this. That was the timing on the Sunday night in early December with Mr. S. Monday a workday for Mr. S, so he needs an earlier start to the evening so that there may be a relatively early end. He has a teenage boy at home, presumably every other weekend, so it's no biggie for Mr. S to take a couple of hours away on a quiet Sunday night as long as he gets back in time to remind the kid to wrap up and go to bed.

Oh, she also texted me that today her mother handed her the usual package of tax preparation materials, for me to prepare her taxes. Family duties!

[slenderfish]

Eroticise it. See if she plays along. Something along the lines of “you like to keep me guessing about you and your men”. You might you might make a giant leap forward in what her reaction will be.

Kind of worked out that this is my only path at this point.

[slenderfish]

I am curious to know where you think things would be today between you and her if you had never told her about your hotwife fantasies.

This is quite a question.

When I first saw it I immediately jumped right over it, since it's gonna take more than a bit of thinking.

I promise I'll answer it.

[slenderfish]

How are you going to pass the alone time this week? You typically have some sort of a project (or two) lined up...

Well, it's been five nights and the final one is on us. I'll pick her up at the airport tomorrow early evening.

What did I do?

- Dropped SW for her flight late morning Tuesday

- Worked Tue-Fri and had a boys' night out on Tuesday

- Went to dance class early evening Wed and then hit up niece for the Ramen dinner from our favorite local place, which she owed me

- Went to spin class with niece Thursday night our local place, then took her to dinner

- Had lunch with my son on Friday and gave him some fatherly advice that was overdue

- Friday after lunch did an in-person meeting at my actual office where we began a negotiation for a new startup gig I may take on; it's not really a startup at this point but they are scaling up and apparently need a more senior person with the proper resume

- Big party Friday night, started 4:30 p.m. and got home 2:30 a.m.

- Saturday morning 36-mile ride started 8:30 a.m.

- Saturday afternoon started the drywall work in our house to convert the present rounded bullnose-style corners to normal 90-degree squared corners on doorways, around windows, corners of rooms, etc.

- Saturday night made a big meal of spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread, etc. and ate half

- Today got up early and met my daughter and attended as her guest at her favorite spin class (she lives about 45 miles away) and made it through, finishing 5th overall (of 25); it seems she wanted to show me off to her friends because they were all waiting after the class for the introductions

- Daughter took me to breakfast after the workout at a local favorite place of hers

- Jammed home and fixed the slow leak in the tire on my MBZ coupe; seems it took on a nail or screw so I remedied it, then washed the car

- Took the dog down to the park and threw the ball for her

- Cut and installed artificial turf in the main grass square of the back yard, so the dog will heretofore use that as the bathroom instead of killing the natural sod that I end up reinstalling once a year

- Tinkered with the new 4k UHD tv and home theater sound system, ate the last half of the spaghetti from last night, and am settled in for a movie with full 7.1 sound and nobody here to complain if it's too loud

I had excess energy this week and put it to good use.

[solstice]

When reading your thread I often feel like an alien that has dropped in from a planet far far away, my latest puzzle, spin class: I try to work things out before googling, and thought you may be spinning plates on a stick, but would never guessed it would be a cycle exercise. you do more activities in a week than I do in a year, no exaggeration!

[slenderfish]

When reading your thread I often feel like an alien that has dropped in from a planet far far away, my latest puzzle, spin class: I try to work things out before googling, and thought you may be spinning plates on a stick, but would never guessed it would be a cycle exercise. you do more activities in a week than I do in a year, no exaggeration!

Well, as I noted, i had excess energy. Not always this active.

The friends of my daughter were told in advance that I'd been doing this exercise almost since it was started about 25 years ago. I met SW in such a class in 2001; she was the instructor and after attending about three times, I just had to meet her.

Hot for teacher.

The rest is history, and she makes sure we go to spin class together at least once a week, for old times' sake.

[Freemans892]

My prediction is that nothing happed between SW and Mr. S on the weekend besides the typical platonic friendship activities. Mr. S doesn’t want fuck his relationship with his new girlfriend thus has clearly moved SW into the friend zone.

Clearly SW was a little bit jealous of Ms L. on Friday night thus ramp up the coms with SF.

[slenderfish]

My prediction is that nothing happed between SW and Mr. S on the weekend besides the typical platonic friendship activities. Mr. S doesn’t want fuck his relationship with his new girlfriend thus has clearly moved SW into the friend zone.

Clearly SW was a little bit jealous of Ms L. on Friday night thus ramp up the coms with SF.

I place my bet here also.

I'll pick her up at the airport in about an hour.

[slenderfish]

BTW, SW has outright asked me if I'm having an affair with Ms. C (I'm absolutely not). SW is not generally a jealous one, but these days it seems to be poking its green head. I've somewhat deliberately relaxed my usual fastidiousness with respect to hot, available single women in the past couple of weeks. Not trying to be passive/aggressive, but at the same time she never even asked me how I feel about her getting together with, and calling and texting privately (without really telling me) with a very recent lover. If she expects me to be okay with it, and trust her regarding a sudden switch to friendship, then I should be able to also have friends of the opposite sex, especially if a) I have no desire to be intimate b) SW is invited and by all rights should become friends as well and c) I have zero history of physical with her. I'm not pushing anything, but at the same time am not as fastidious.

She is hiding her communications with these guys (Mr. S and Mr. M) and I believe doing so because she knows I expect and she's committed to sharing any hotwife activities. But apparently she has concluded if she is not doing hotwife stuff with these guys anymore (kind of unilateral decision on her part) then all secrecy is okay. And I don't really mind it, though I prefer she openly state her position so that I may then have my position.

We will iron this one out over the next few days.

[BallSpanking]

It is difficult to say whether SW's suspicions originate from possessiveness, or guilt. Rather than speculate as to her true underlying motivation, better to have an open and amicable conversation with her, no point in incurring in speculation until there is a better sense of the why and wherefor, if there is one.

Remember, she is a woman. Volatility can be the result of a number of things, but it certainly it bears looking into.

[MoreGodzillas]

I don't know how you've continued this lifestyle with all this secrecy. I really hope you guys eventually land in a good and sustainable place. It really makes no sense to me for 2 people to eat tacos in secret from each other when they both love tacos. Just saying....

[Farmgirl]

It is difficult to say whether SW's suspicions originate from possessiveness, or guilt. Rather than speculate as to her true underlying motivation, better to have an open and amicable conversation with her, no point in incurring in speculation until there is a better sense of the why and wherefor, if there is one.

Remember, he is a man. Volatility can be the result of a number of things, but it certainly it bears looking into.

I corrected the parts to make a really good comment!

[slenderfish]

I don't know how you've continued this lifestyle with all this secrecy. I really hope you guys eventually land in a good and sustainable place. It really makes no sense to me for 2 people to eat tacos in secret from each other when they both love tacos. Just saying....

I really think your point sums it all up. At least from my perspective; she has the green light and freedoms to do essentially whatever she wants, so long as she doesn't do so in a deceitful way. Yet she chooses this secrecy and deceit.

Or, as you noted, we both are eating tacos and we both love tacos, but she insists that we can't eat tacos together and, when I ask whether she has been enjoying her tacos, she denies even liking tacos and says she is only eating them to make me happy. And then she goes right back to eating and apparently enjoying tacos, but does so in secrecy so that I won't know what she's doing.

[slenderfish]

It is difficult to say whether SW's suspicions originate from possessiveness, or guilt. Rather than speculate as to her true underlying motivation, better to have an open and amicable conversation with her, no point in incurring in speculation until there is a better sense of the why and wherefor, if there is one.

Remember, he is a man. Volatility can be the result of a number of things, but it certainly it bears looking into.

I corrected the parts to make a really good comment!

Point well taken!

Thanks for this.

[Rockhard70]

She is hiding her communications with these guys (Mr. S and Mr. M) and I believe doing so because she knows I expect and she's committed to sharing any hotwife activities. But apparently she has concluded if she is not doing hotwife stuff with these guys anymore (kind of unilateral decision on her part) then all secrecy is okay. And I don't really mind it, though I prefer she openly state her position so that I may then have my position.

I’m sorry but hiding communications with other men, whether it involves the lifestyle or not, is sketchy as hell. I’m certain if you were exhibiting the same behavior she wouldn’t be pleased. Not good....

[Roadtripking]

My prediction is.

She will have a laser focused to get in front of her trainer as quick as possible in the sexiest workout attire as possible. Nipples hard and cameltoe obviously on display. Oh she is hiding something and close to home.

[R_H_NC]

I don't know how you've continued this lifestyle with all this secrecy. I really hope you guys eventually land in a good and sustainable place. It really makes no sense to me for 2 people to eat tacos in secret from each other when they both love tacos. Just saying....

I really think your point sums it all up. At least from my perspective; she has the green light and freedoms to do essentially whatever she wants, so long as she doesn't do so in a deceitful way. Yet she chooses this secrecy and deceit.

Or, as you noted, we both are eating tacos and we both love tacos, but she insists that we can't eat tacos together and, when I ask whether she has been enjoying her tacos, she denies even liking tacos and says she is only eating them to make me happy. And then she goes right back to eating and apparently enjoying tacos, but does so in secrecy so that I won't know what she's doing.

Now I'm hungry..............

[Mark K]

Not taking it as a good sign that SF has been offline since before the airport pick up last night. But then again, maybe he and SW have been super busy reacquainting themselves to each other...

[afagehi7]

What ever you're doin slender,,,, it ain't work'n.
How about you change the rules. To No rules. NO pics, videos, text messages, discussions of possible partners, nothing. Just reinforce to her that she has a hall pass to fuck whom she wants, when she wants, where she wants. No questions asked.
Then after some time, start to bring it up in the heat of passion. Work your way into the Hotwife LS that way.

He has done this almost exactly. She's had her time now it's time to share with her husband. He's not a cuck.

Not taking it as a good sign that SF has been offline since before the airport pick up last night. But then again, maybe he and SW have been super busy reacquainting themselves to each other...

I agree. I think last time he disappeared for a few days and we had the same concern. Hopefully he'll soon update us.

[anonymister1948]

I think this boils down to the very basics. What do you want out of this marriage? Kelly brought up the no pics, videos, etc, but you have ALREADY done that. So now it comes to what do you want? I'm sure you went into this with a pretty clear idea and accepted that it would change over time.

Slenderwife clearly does not want to include you in her extra-marital affairs. (If that sounds familiar then you've been reading HWCs issues with Melissa) And the jury is out as to whether those extra-marital affairs happened (or are happening) completely outside the hotwife kink.

So what do you want SF? Do you want a monogamish marriage where SW fucks whomever she wants and hides it from you or denies she ever did anything? Or, do you want an open marriage where you each have FWBs? Or, do you want a closed marriage? (I don't see SW every being closed) And finally, considering the pushback and lies and deceit by SW, do you want to find another woman who isn't as high maintenance, who doesn't lie and hides things from you, and has probably been fucking around on you for a while?

Until you can clarify all this in your mind and put it out there for SW to see, you are both going to be going through this constant state of distrust. That sounds like a horrible way to have a relationship.

[anonymister1948]

When has he really done this/ I'm not talking about 1 or 2 times. I'm saying give her 4, 5, 6 months of playing totally on her own. Let her get comfortable fucking other men or women. Then start by basking the simple questions. "How's the extra sex goin"? "You getting satisfied"? Keep it lite in the beginning.
He's never done that.

This comes down to what SF wants out of his marriage. By-the-way, simply giving SW a full-time no-questions-asked hall pass doesn't negate the fact that she doesn't want him involved - at all. That's not likely to change simply because he changes the way it's said or done. To give an unfettered pass for six months is only going kick the can down the road. Remember how this whole thing started. Do any of us believe that SW didn't fuck Mr. B? Where's that hot talk now, 8 months down the road? Eight months does not seem to have enlightened her regarding trusting her husband enough to tell him the truth. Remember, he CAUGHT her. If he hadn't stumbled upon that security tape, wouldn't Mr.B still be coming around when SF is out of town? And given the way SW has kept her distance in situations when Mr.B was at a party, doesn't that suggest that he is still coming around when SF is on ski trips or out of town?

From my perspective, no matter what SF does, his wife isn't going to allow his participation. He needs to determine what he wants and how to either negotiate it or move on. Their marriage is fundamentally flawed in that he doesn't trust her, she doesn't trust him, and neither has the courage to come right out and say what they're thinking. For instance, why doesn't SW trust her husband to tell him the truth about Mr. B? Why does she feel the need to hide and act deceitfully? Why can't he come right out and call her on her lies and set boundaries? Why do SF's boundaries change seemingly every day? Where is the foundation of trust?

[slenderfish]

My prediction is.

She will have a laser focused to get in front of her trainer as quick as possible in the sexiest workout attire as possible. Nipples hard and cameltoe obviously on display. Oh she is hiding something and close to home.

She has her trainer as per usual schedule tomorrow noonish. I'll be around, so will probably get a look at her prior to her departing for the workout. I'll report.

On a related note, I recently noticed some new, edgy workout outfits that I haven't yet seen on her. Will be on the lookout for those.

[slenderfish]

Not taking it as a good sign that SF has been offline since before the airport pick up last night. But then again, maybe he and SW have been super busy reacquainting themselves to each other...

Not time for a full update, but I did pick her up and we were all happy/lovey and got home, greeted the dog, etc. Then she toured the house a bit and noticed that of all the stuff I did on the house while she was away, I did not finish the drywall repairs in the guest bathroom. I didn't finish those because niece unexpectedly came home over the weekend after a tiff with her boyfriend. So that bathroom was not available for me.

But SW was nonetheless disappointed and would not keep her feelings in check. After explaining at least twice, I said that I don't need to answer to her, that I was very happy with my time and my productivity and the bathroom would have to wait. She was upset, as was I. So I said we will resume the update (tomorrow) today when we are both in a better mood, and I went out to Home Depot to get some supplies and grabbed dinner on my own while out.

Upon my return, she was downstairs watching tv with niece, so I took over the big tv upstairs and watched the movie 1917 for the first time. SW had indicated she got about halfway through it on the flight, and asked if I would watch the first half so that we could complete it together. She joined me on the sofa for the second hour, held hands and kissed, and we then retired. She was beat; also the time difference.

[slenderfish]

I don't know how you've continued this lifestyle with all this secrecy. I really hope you guys eventually land in a good and sustainable place. It really makes no sense to me for 2 people to eat tacos in secret from each other when they both love tacos. Just saying....

I really think your point sums it all up. At least from my perspective; she has the green light and freedoms to do essentially whatever she wants, so long as she doesn't do so in a deceitful way. Yet she chooses this secrecy and deceit.

Or, as you noted, we both are eating tacos and we both love tacos, but she insists that we can't eat tacos together and, when I ask whether she has been enjoying her tacos, she denies even liking tacos and says she is only eating them to make me happy. And then she goes right back to eating and apparently enjoying tacos, but does so in secrecy so that I won't know what she's doing.

Now I'm hungry..............

I'm hungry for a pink taco. I know just the one....