wife interested in other guy

[Bi+Gigh]

G and I spent the whole 4th of July weekend with Conor. We all played nicely together too lol. We were talking on Sunday and I suggested we up our kink play. They both asked what that would be and I said whatever we each regard as being kinda kinky we add it to our play. I also said that they could be more aggressive with me if they wanted. Conor wanted to know more and G just said I like to be submissive to him, which he knew, but he asked how submissive. I said just keep trying things and I’ll say if it’s too far.
Then later we went for a really long hike on an incredibly hot day. When we got to the top of slope, we sat and were talking, looking at a really cool view. Conor brought up our earlier conversation and said that he wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with me. He said I saw how he can be dominant when he wants but he becomes an asshole. He said he wants to be friends, then smiled, grabbed my dick (in front of G) and said maybe a little bit more than friends. He said that his natural tendency to be an alpha will come through but he doesn’t want to do any dominant/submissive play. So I can live with that. I believe his bi side is coming out more and more, tho, as he gets used to the idea.
So after the hike, we’re laying around our condo rehydrating and cooling off. Conor, as usual is naked, and had worked himself into an erection. He wanted a blow job from G but she said she’s wasn’t going anywhere near him until he showers. So then he looks at me and says get over here and get on this. So I did lol. Gotta tell you, I like a little man musk down there, but that was ripe af.
So Sunday night was for Conor and I. We went to bed and we got to the fucking part and he had his hand around my throat and was going hard talking shit (“you want more of this” kinda shit). So his alpha side definitely comes through and will come through more and more I’m thinking. G even yelled into the room for him not to kill me.
So I was pretty fired up about him saying he wants us to be more than friends when he was calling us just fuck buddies a week or two ago. All in all, I’m pretty happy.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

Hi Bi,

you were only asking about cages the other week, I would advise you sit down with a piece of paper and divide it into two column, Positive and Negative then list the positives and negatives in their respective column.

Just a few negatives - can't use the urinal, will always have to go to a cubical, I've not had one and won't, but reading on here they can cause your urine to spray, you will need to buy multiple before you find the right one...

With the right cage and the right fit you *can* use a urinal...if you are bold enough (or desperate enough). I've only bought one cage, a CB-3000 that I got 20 years ago. It fits right and I can pee standing up without making a mess. It has multiple fitment options so it worked very well for finding the right fit, which can change as you become accustomed to it.

[Bi+Gigh]

Girls weekend at the beach for G and her friends. Conor's coming here for a workout and I'll make us dinner and another hike tomorrow. So boys weekend here. He's already told me he's horny so should be fun.

[Bi+Gigh]

So first on Conor, we had a great time together. We seem to be getting closer and closer. And he’s also enjoying the bisexual part of him now, too.
But, there’s also a bad part about getting close to Conor when you’re married to G. When she came home from girl’s weekend, I saw the look on her face and knew something had happened. And something did. She met a college guy and they ended up fucking multiple times. Without a condom. G said she never intended to go to the beach and have sex with anyone but she saw this guy Griffin, he was hot af with a great body and a was apparently a smooth talker. His group and hers were loosely together on the beach (Griffin has a house with the brother of one of G’s friends). They were eyeing each other up on the beach during the day and that night at a bar, after they both had a couple of drinks, they started talking and flirting with each other. He saw her eyeing up his bulge (which she admitted to) and said “it’s big” and suggested they go down to the beach and he’ll show it to her. What would you expect from a 20 year old? So anyway, she agrees, they go to the beach, she gives him a blow job and a little while later they fuck. She said she was intending to leave the beach after the blow job but they started talking and things got “steamy.” They leave the beach and go have a drink at another bar, he suggests they go back to his house, where they have sex again, they fall asleep and she stays the night. And when they came down together this morning, she said it was pretty obvious everyone knew they had just fucked again since they were acting like college kids. So all the guys in the house know that Griffin picked up this hot 27 year old married woman and had sex with her multiple times, including the brother of her friend who now knows. And to cap off a nice weekend they went out to breakfast together.
So G took a picture of them naked and in bed (as she usually does) and tells him she wants it for masturbation purposes. And she actually does. I get why she did it. He’s really good looking, gym cut body (not as muscled as Conor) and yea he’s got a big one. But I told her she had a couple of problems now.
What she was going to say to Conor? Nothing, she said. She doesn’t want to hurt the relationship. Then she asked how many times Conor fucked me this weekend. It was a shitty question.
Since they went bareback, she has to get tested and can’t have sex with anyone. She said she would but that Griffin has a long term girlfriend and neither one of them have been with anyone else. I told her I didn’t believe that for a second.
Her girlfriends now know she cheated on me. I’ve known these women a long time so that kinda sucks.
She goes away on business for a couple of nights this week so she can avoid having sex with Conor until the test results come back. But I said if she wasn’t going to tell Conor and if he finds out, she was just cheating on me and I didn’t know about it. But I’m going to feel shitty when I’m with Conor and I know what she did.
I asked if this was a one time fling with Griffin and she said he wants to see her again. I was like, no kidding, he just had the best pussy of his life, of course he wants to see you again. I asked her what she wants and she said she’d like to see him once in a while too. She doesn’t want a relationship, just a fuck buddy. Apparently, he’s good in bed too. He’s already agreed to get tested so they don’t have to worry about condoms. I said to her they certainly have this planned out.
This all just happened so trying to figure out my feelings. And for whatever reason, G seems to be in a pretty defensive mood. I don’t care that she fucked this kid so I’m not mad. She’s asleep now. Probably from all the sex and drinking.

[gordon921]

And for whatever reason, G seems to be in a pretty defensive mood.
I said to her they certainly have this planned out.
ut I said if she wasn’t going to tell Conor and if he finds out, she was just cheating on me and I didn’t know about it.

I suspect she realises she has fucked up. Disrespectful to you putting it out there in the open. Plus she will be viewed as a cheater/XXXX by her friends, not sure how important that is to her or their view on it, but women can be ruthless.
Yes she/they are planning this out, and G has not even given you the heads up.
So Conner is going to say, okay you were cheating on Bi and not me!!!
Hope you sort it out, but getting complicated.

[Bi+Gigh]

Ya, Gordon, I'm not feeling really good about this tbh. And the friend of G who has a brother in Griffin's house had some words with G today. She was pissed at what she did.

[Bi+Gigh]

Thank you everyone for following my journey. Kinda stuck at this point tho and wouldn't mind anyone offering some advice. G texted me today and started off by saying "please don't get mad" but she's meeting Griffin after work for a drink tonight. Somehow, I know they're going to have sex. But when you start off by saying please don't get mad, she knows she's fucking up. And she's leaving tomorrow until Thursday night. This is a recipe for shit communication. This started to go really well until a young, good looking guy with a big dick came along.

[gordon921]

Hi Bi,
not sure I'm the best to answer this but a few suggesting.. and it might be a little late..
Hi G, after the fallout from the weekend, do you really think this is a good Idea, for what it's worth I don't. (Not sure if you've had a chance to talk to her but maybe add we need to talk about what happened as it has exposed our lifestyle to friends that didn't know).
Ah G you're going away tomorrow I wanted to spend some time with you before you went.

[mundyman]

Thank you everyone for following my journey. Kinda stuck at this point tho and wouldn't mind anyone offering some advice. G texted me today and started off by saying "please don't get mad" but she's meeting Griffin after work for a drink tonight. Somehow, I know they're going to have sex. But when you start off by saying please don't get mad, she knows she's fucking up. And she's leaving tomorrow until Thursday night. This is a recipe for shit communication. This started to go really well until a young, good looking guy with a big dick came along.

This sounds like a serious lack of communication! On both of your parts.
1) Before she left neither of you brought up the “what if I meet someone on the trip that I might want to fuck” conversation.
2) You, Connor, and G apparently have not had the conversation about what your relationship is. You have not had the discussion of whether your triad is open or closed. Can any of you fuck some one else outside of your triad, especially Connor and your wife G.
3) G fucked some guy, unprotected, while out on a drinking binge with her friends. No back up, no way to let anyone know where she was going or with whom. I get everything worked out, but it doesn’t always. Many an unfortunate event begins with I met and left with someone while I was out drinking at a bar. She needs to be safer. She should have kept you in the loop if she didn’t want to tell her friends. That communication between you two should be the norm. You need to know about who she’s randomly hooking up with and where!!

Yes while you’ve been living in the bliss of the NRE of your new triad, none of you gave a thought to whether your relationship was still open or not. I can’t remember from the early part of your thread whether you said G was truly a hotwife who fucked multiple other guys, or Connor was a first or just the most recent partner she had.
So you three need to have his conversation or the deceit will continue to eat you two up. Now that you know, you are now an accomplice of her cheating on Connor. My sense is given your age and where you are in your lives and the fact your triad is born of G’s hotwifing activities, Connor will be ok with G’s behavior. I know he said he generally Does not share his women, however he needs to step back and understand the triad he’s in now and where it developed from.
G also needs to deal with her girlfriends. Whether spills the beans that she is an open relationship or not is her call. She needs to deal with that. Good luck the next time you are out socially with that group.

Good luck on navigating this bump in the road of your journey in the lifestyle. In many things honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth and let Connor decide if he can accept it or not. My guess is Connor wasn’t going to be the last guy your hotwife G was going to fuck outside of your relationship. He might need to be reminded of that fact. You owe it to him to let him decide for himself, and also to communicate to you two how he feels about your triad and about G fucking others.
If he’s not down for that he can then decide to check out of the relationship. You and G are the primary, Connor can decide if wants to continue to be a part of a relationship where the woman still fucks others.
I hate to sound like a dick, but wasn’t he eventually moving away?

[Bi+Gigh]

I'll give a full update tomorrow. But G is in full cleanup mode right now knowing that she fucked up. Work is incredibly busy as G and I are supposed to be going away next week but don't know yet where that stands. And it's actually good that G had to travel for work this week. She got away from here, took a step back, and realized she needed to fix some things. What's really cool is with G gone, Conor and I have spending a lot of time together working through this (and doing some other things too). He's become a voice in our marriage and I really like it.

[bernhard-bln]

yesterday I met with my wife's friend and her for a nice glass of wine. Or should I say we met with my wife's love? He openly said to me that he had a very intense and deep love for my wife.
My wife smiled dreamily and when I congratulated both of them, he said that I was a really gifted man, that I let both of them have this freedom.

[Chrislydi]

I'll give a full update tomorrow. But G is in full cleanup mode right now knowing that she fucked up. Work is incredibly busy as G and I are supposed to be going away next week but don't know yet where that stands. And it's actually good that G had to travel for work this week. She got away from here, took a step back, and realized she needed to fix some things. What's really cool is with G gone, Conor and I have spending a lot of time together working through this (and doing some other things too). He's become a voice in our marriage and I really like it.

I've full confidence in your ability to work through all this, as you say the communication angle has somehow been lost along the way. G is obviously now doing damage repair and I await your next update later today. Great news Conor and yourself are really bonding quite strongly now as you can all help each other clear up this misunderstanding.

Chris

[Bi+Gigh]

yesterday I met with my wife's friend and her for a nice glass of wine. Or should I say we met with my wife's love? He openly said to me that he had a very intense and deep love for my wife.
My wife smiled dreamily and when I congratulated both of them, he said that I was a really gifted man, that I let both of them have this freedom.

That's awesome Bernhard. I love hearing stories like that.

[Bi+Gigh]

Thanks everyone for all of your interest and advice. I appreciate it.
When I last wrote, G was meeting Griffin after work “for a drink.” After multiple fucks later, she strolled in close to midnight. I heard her come in but I was mostly asleep and it wasn’t a great time for talking anyway. She got to her travel location on Tuesday morning but we spent most of the morning on our phones talking. She was apologizing for the damage she knew she caused. G said her and Griffin had this intense physical attraction to each other and got carried away. He started talking about breaking up with his long term girlfriend so they could be together more. Coming home that night G realized it had to stop and that she would lose too much if it continued.
We talked through the issues. I told her that I am fine if she wants to fuck other guys. That’s just who she is. But she needs to understand how Conor feels about that. And there are 3 in our relationship now and she needed to think about the sexual health of all of us. We also agreed that we always talk about who she wants to fuck beforehand. Her excuse was that she knew Conor and I were together and thought it would be awkward calling me at that point. She honestly thought she’d just give the kid a blowjob and go back to her friends. Obviously that didn’t happen.
At some point, both of us are going to sit with her friend (Griffin’s roommate’s sister) and tell her some things about our marriage (we’re not going to admit to an open marriage but we will say we don’t believe monogamy is healthy or lasting).
As for Conor, they also talked on Tuesday. She doesn’t want to lose him and that she loves him (I’m fine with that). He called me later after they had talked and said he was done with her and he couldn’t tolerate the cheating. He said he’d like to “keep what we have going” when G wasn’t around. I said she’s not around tonight. So we spent the night together. At one point we’re laying in bed talking after we had sex and he said he really wasn’t prepared to end things with G but he wasn’t going to have sex with her until he’s satisfied she’s clean. He also admitted that he loves her, I told him G already told me that, and he wanted to know how I felt about that. I told him if it was anybody else, it would be a problem but that I was developing some pretty strong feelings for him, as well. We then proceeded to have some pretty amazing sex.
After a second round of sucking and fucking, we talked more, mostly about how important it will be for the 3 of us to figure out how this is going to work and what we expect from each other. I also said to him, based on all that G had told me, that Griffin will continue to be a problem. He just smiled and said we can handle Griffin. We had such a great night on Tuesday, Conor stayed at our place again last night. Tonight, G comes home.
Thanks for reading everyone. This is an interesting situation that somehow I would like to see work. I guess the only question is how long can Conor (mostly) and me (some) satisfy G sexually so she doesn’t look for another young, good looking guy with a big dick.

[gordon921]

Her excuse was that she knew Conor and I were together and thought it would be awkward calling me at that point.

Think "me" in that sentence means you and Connor, you may have agreed, but do you think Connor would of?

But irrespective of if she called and you said yes etc, it was a very poor decision on her part. As the saying goes you "Do not shit on your own doorstep."

Coming home that night G realized it had to stop and that she would lose too much if it continued.
I also said to him, based on all that G had told me, that Griffin will continue to be a problem.

So you think although she realises she would lose too much, she could be willing to take that risk?

Maybe you need to put her over your knee and give her a bloody good spanking

Enjoy the home coming..

[Bi+Gigh]

Her excuse was that she knew Conor and I were together and thought it would be awkward calling me at that point.

Think "me" in that sentence means you and Connor, you may have agreed, but do you think Connor would of?

But irrespective of if she called and you said yes etc, it was a very poor decision on her part. As the saying goes you "Do not shit on your own doorstep."

Coming home that night G realized it had to stop and that she would lose too much if it continued.
I also said to him, based on all that G had told me, that Griffin will continue to be a problem.

So you think although she realises she would lose too much, she could be willing to take that risk?

Maybe you need to put her over your knee and give her a bloody good spanking

Enjoy the home coming..

That's a good point on getting Conor to agree to it, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have. But the first call definitely should come to me. And the fact is, if she really wanted to fuck him, she could have waited until we talked about it. We go to the same beach town as him most weekends and something could have been worked out (if Conor was on board with it but, again, I don't see that happening).
And as for taking the risk again with Griffin, I just have to trust her. I just don't believe he can walk away tho that easily from a beautiful, older woman who he had multiple sexual encounters with over 3 days of first meeting. But G and I (and Conor) have some things to talk about.

[gordon921]

Please don't take this the wrong way...

Men are often accused of thinking with their dicks and not their head, think you might agree in this case G was thinking with her.... and not her head

[rascalnvixen]

Quick question, Is Conor's issue with G that she cheated on you and he or is it the health issue and concern?? Is OK if she fucks other guys but with some advanced planning (health) and notice that she would have another for pleasure??? I hope I haven't missed that info if it has already been discussed.

Rascal

[gordon921]

Quick question, Is Conor's issue with G that she cheated on you and he or is it the health issue and concern?? Is OK if she fucks other guys but with some advanced planning (health) and notice that she would have another for pleasure??? I hope I haven't missed that info if it has already been discussed.

Rascal

You have, but I'll let Bi answer.....

[Bi+Gigh]

Quick question, Is Conor's issue with G that she cheated on you and he or is it the health issue and concern?? Is OK if she fucks other guys but with some advanced planning (health) and notice that she would have another for pleasure??? I hope I haven't missed that info if it has already been discussed.

Rascal

Conor's issue is that she cheated on HIM. Maybe he cares somewhat about her cheating on me but it's more about him. He doesn't want her with anybody but him and I (and deep down I think he'd be ok if it was just him).

[Bi+Gigh]

Please don't take this the wrong way...

Men are often accused of thinking with their dicks and not their head, think you might agree in this case G was thinking with her.... and not her head

That's funny Gordon, cause I was trying to use that expression about G but couldn't figure it out lol.

[Bi+Gigh]

Just a quick side update. Conor's position to not have sex with G until she's clean lasted about an hour. They had sex last night, and this morning. But I know he used condoms, though. They hadn't been together in a while.

[Bi+Gigh]

So the 3 of us have spent a lot of time talking over the last couple of days. Connor has stayed with us this weekend as well. So this update will be a few paragraphs long but our agreement was days and hours in the making. I know I can say, all 3 of us are happy with it even though there will some who will think I’m out of my mind.
But first, this detail is important to the story. On Friday, we were in bed together. Conor had just finished fucking G and said to me “why don’t you get in there too” or something to that effect. So I entered G and within about a minute I had completely lost my erection. It was humiliating and embarrassing (not really sure what the difference is tbh). So with that in mind, here is what we’ve decided, mostly suggested by me.
As for Conor, we talked about the fact they are in love is now out in the open. As I said before, I’m fine with it but naturally creates some angst for me but I’m not going to attempt to change it. That in my mind would be like trying to push back the ocean. With these feelings, Conor said he doesn’t want to feel like a secondary or part time boyfriend. As always, he insists he’s not trying to break up a marriage but doesn’t want his time with G to be restricted to 2 days a week or whatever. He wants more “open access” (his words) at the same time respecting that G and I need time together also.
G’s position is the events of the last week or so have her feeling really slutty. Not only the experience with Griffin, but Friday night when Conor basically offered her up to me without any say from G. She said to have 2 guys (attempt to) fuck her back to back, especially this week, made her feel shitty. So she’s not really feeling very good about herself.
So my suggestion was this, based on these conditions and facts. For one month, they can be exclusive sexually. For one month they can have an exclusive relationship. G and I still need a couple of nights a week by ourselves (and to do family things) but what happens the other nights is up to the 2 of them. Only 1 guy for G for a month. But I still get to have sex with Conor at least once a week (he quickly agreed to that so that’s good). Conor reminded us the last time we had some agreement in place G and I cheated on them and he said what would keep that from happening again. In fact, we did cheat on the agreement but we’re married! And the sex was pretty decent. And then G piped up and said when you can’t have something, that’s when you want it more. I volunteered that they could put me in a cock cage if they wanted. Conor rejected that quickly but G was like “not so fast, let’s talk about it.” When we talked about Conor being the only one with a key, he suddenly perked up and became interested, realizing the control and power he would have over me. And the more I thought about it, the more erotic it became to me, knowing that my wife’s boyfriend could have that kind of power over me. When I said to him he would decide when and how I get off, he lit up like a Christmas tree and said “ya, let’s do this.” So, we’re researching cock cages (we're having some pretty animated discussions as we review them on youtube and such).
So I guess this is a bit risky but I think I know G well enough to be confident that it won’t last more than a month or so until she gets bored. I don’t really want to feel that embarrassed again with losing my erection during sex. It would be a blow to my ego so time away from that might be good. And to be completely honest, giving this kind of power to another guy, especially Conor, is erotic to me. Don’t know why, but it is. But I also know the sex between him and I has gotten more heated so I know he’s into it.
So that’s where we’re headed now. Where’s the fun if you don’t take some risks and try something new?

[gordon921]

Hi Bi,

don't have time for a long reply, but Connor holding the key is a big No, he does not live with the 2 of you 24/7, he's 40 minutes away, what if something happens and you need to be rushed to hospital or something, G MUST be able to release you. One way round is to buy a key safe, a spare key goes in there, and Conner sets up the combination and leave it in a sealed envelope, which he can sign over the seal or something to stop either of you removing the key and putting it in another envelope.

[Bi+Gigh]

Hi Bi,

don't have time for a long reply, but Connor holding the key is a big No, he does not live with the 2 of you 24/7, he's 40 minutes away, what if something happens and you need to be rushed to hospital or something, G MUST be able to release you. One way round is to buy a key safe, a spare key goes in there, and Conner sets up the combination and leave it in a sealed envelope, which he can sign over the seal or something to stop either of you removing the key and putting it in another envelope.

This is a really good idea, Gordon. Thanks.