Do you really need to know

[iloanmywife]

...we were going at it and she told me she wished I was bigger, that it would feel better. Said he was bigger. That was a blow to the ego then when I was young.

Ouch! The truth hurts like hell. But it can hurt so good, if we let it. I think anyone who becomes a cuckold probably gets that.

[Des 31]

My wife of 30 years has never cheated on me. I have told her (3 months ago) that I want her to be with others, the caveat being I have to watch or atleast she has to tell me about it. If I don't know, what would I get out of it? If done in secret then it is cheating and no bueno. She hasn't taken me up on it but we are discussing it.
There was once when we were dating that she was with another man and she told me about it. Not sure I can classify it as cheating though as she was still married to him but separated. She went to see him on their anniversary and informed me she was still married to him and yes they had sex. I really couldn't get too upset over that. The harder part about that was shortly after she was drunk and we were going at it and she told me she wished I was bigger, that it would feel better. Said he was bigger. That was a blow to the ego then when I was young.

I completely understand why most guys prefer to be a part of the action when another guy is fucking his wife. But that doesn't work for us. When my 36-year-old wife was then 28, she carried on a three-month, covert affair with a co-worker. That's commonly referred to as "cheating," but it became the impetus for her agreeing to become a hotwife. Once she learned how thrilled I was upon finding out her friend was fucking her almost every night I was on assignments, she told me she finally understood my need for her to fuck other men. We agreed that women have more capacity for sex than men. Ultimately, she and I agreed neither of us wished to return to the day when it was just the two of us. I think I get as much out of other men fucking as much as she - although she often jokes she doesn't believe that's quite possible. And maybe she's right about that.

We soon learned the sex was hotter and more satisfying for her and most of her guys if I'm wasn't in the same room. I have since slept in our guest room when she and another man are fucking at our home. I have no problem when my wife chooses to drive to another guy's place and stays overnight. She always gives me detailed narratives upon her return. I'm highly excited and fucking her madly as she tells me everything she can remember about her previous nights away.

~ Des

[Shellworship]

I have been cucked by Shelley for over 19 years now and during this time she has been with many, many men (and even a couple of women) almost all with my full knowledge and approval.

We both work in politics and whilst not working directly together any longer, we mix in the same circles and have many shared friends and associates. About 6 years ago, a close colleague told me that he’d heard that Shelley was having an affair with a junior adviser in her office. I didn’t pay too much heed, as the colleague has a habit of gossiping, but a couple of weeks later a different associate told me the same story.

I don’t live with Shelley (we are both married to other people) but confronted her at the earliest opportunity, which happened to be at a meeting in Brussels a couple of weeks later.

She admitted the affair straight away and broke down in tears, begging my forgiveness. Essentially it was with a young guy in Shelley’s office who she really fancied. They’d been working late one night, with only the two of them in the office. They started kissing and within minutes were both naked, with the young adviser fucking Shelley over her desk.

It has been an unwritten rule between us that Shelley doesn’t play with colleagues (she has on occasion, including one which nearly cost her her job) so she didn’t tell me and continued fucking the adviser in private.

It had been a very long time since Shelley had ‘cheated’ on me and I couldn’t believe how exciting I found it, her telling me of the numerous sessions of fucking with the adviser, in hotel rooms, in the office after hours and even in her own home bedroom, which I haven’t even seen in 19 years.

The affair had ended by the time that Shelley confessed and she isn’t keen to repeat it (preferring to stick to our usual arrangements with her lovers) but it was incredibly exciting and will stay with me forever.

[curioushubby1965]

...we were going at it and she told me she wished I was bigger, that it would feel better. Said he was bigger. That was a blow to the ego then when I was young.

Ouch! The truth hurts like hell. But it can hurt so good, if we let it. I think anyone who becomes a cuckold probably gets that.

Yes, that hurt then. Is something I have never forgotten and something I have masturbated over and fantasized about. So yes...hurts so good.

[curioushubby1965]

My wife of 30 years has never cheated on me. I have told her (3 months ago) that I want her to be with others, the caveat being I have to watch or atleast she has to tell me about it. If I don't know, what would I get out of it? If done in secret then it is cheating and no bueno. She hasn't taken me up on it but we are discussing it.
There was once when we were dating that she was with another man and she told me about it. Not sure I can classify it as cheating though as she was still married to him but separated. She went to see him on their anniversary and informed me she was still married to him and yes they had sex. I really couldn't get too upset over that. The harder part about that was shortly after she was drunk and we were going at it and she told me she wished I was bigger, that it would feel better. Said he was bigger. That was a blow to the ego then when I was young.

I completely understand why most guys prefer to be a part of the action when another guy is fucking his wife. But that doesn't work for us. When my 36-year-old wife was then 28, she carried on a three-month, covert affair with a co-worker. That's commonly referred to as "cheating," but it became the impetus for her agreeing to become a hotwife. Once she learned how thrilled I was upon finding out her friend was fucking her almost every night I was on assignments, she told me she finally understood my need for her to fuck other men. We agreed that women have more capacity for sex than men. Ultimately, she and I agreed neither of us wished to return to the day when it was just the two of us. I think I get as much out of other men fucking as much as she - although she often jokes she doesn't believe that's quite possible. And maybe she's right about that.

We soon learned the sex was hotter and more satisfying for her and most of her guys if I'm wasn't in the same room. I have since slept in our guest room when she and another man are fucking at our home. I have no problem when my wife chooses to drive to another guy's place and stays overnight. She always gives me detailed narratives upon her return. I'm highly excited and fucking her madly as she tells me everything she can remember about her previous nights away.

~ Des

I can understand completely and we each have different desires and needs. Nice hearing how everything has worked out so well for you.
If/when something does actually happen, I expect I wouldn't be there every time, or even the majority of the times. From our discussions, she would feel uncomfortable having me watch in the beginning. But, I would still know about it even if I wasn't there.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

We don't have a lot of 'rules', but one of the few is that I have to be aware and/or somehow 'involved'. There wouldn't be any 'thrill' if I didn't know.

[iloanmywife]

We don't have a lot of 'rules', but one of the few is that I have to be aware and/or somehow 'involved'. There wouldn't be any 'thrill' if I didn't know.

Good post, and that's a pretty darned reasonable expectation. I'd hope that most couples have that as a baseline rule, right up there with playing safely. We had the same expectations for the longest time, for the same reasons.

I'll be devil's advocate for a moment, as one whose wife sometimes plays without telling. If I don't know about every time, then it could have happened at any time. And that makes all the time exciting. Every shopping trip that takes longer than it should, every night out with the ladies, every work trip that I take out of town. I'm never 100% sure if she's not fucking someone else. And we like it that way.

I'm certainly not advocating that others try that type of play, only pointing out the thrill for those of us who do.

[Awife]

After 35 years of marriage I thought I knew everything there was to know about my wife, but again I find myself being ignorant to a lot more. Over the years I have been on many hunting trips, throughout the country including many in Canada as well. Most of them have been when the kids were younger and there were a lot of family members around the house helping her out while I was away.

Before we married there were two guys she cheated on me with, while we were dating. I knew about this one that afternoon it happened and she confessed to that a week later. The second one I would not find out until about two years after we had been married, until we went to a Christmas party held by the company she worked for. A co-worker of hers had a mad crush on her and they had gone on a few dates before we met. Once we started dating she had met up with him one more time, she says a farewell fuck.

How I finally found out was that this asshole at the company party was drunk and started running his mouth off to a few other co-workers Then as I was walking by to the bar to get another drink he looked at me infront of everyone and said, "yes I am talking about your wife, and I fucked her while you were dating too" I just shook my head, got a drink for my wife and I and headed back to where she was. She knew something had happened as I went into quiet mode. Which is not good thing for me, being I can be a really fucking angry Marine. Well we cleared that up when we got home. It was here I told her no secrets, I need to know about everyone she has ever fucked as I never wanted to be in the position again. Over the next week we went through, what turned out to be 34 different guys. Sad, excited, turned on and yet happy the shit was behind us.

Three years later she would go with her friends to an all girls weekend to New York (5 days and 4 nights) This is a long story, but in short, I had a good gut feeling when she got home that she did something. But it would be a year later at a big BBQ party at a friends house, that I would find out about two guys she met and fucked both of them the same night together and one spent the rest of the weekend in her hotel room with her fucking her the whole time. It was here I drew the line in the sand, don't fuck anyone else without me know and if there is anyone else I need to know about now.

About five years after that we finally started our Hotwife Cuckolding journey. Watching her fuck has been one of the most exciting things in my life outside the Marines. I just loved it because I felt included in her sexual adventures. I always liked it for many reasons but a main one was never being left in the dark. Until last night, we were talking and she had two drinks in her, only two but she was in a rare talkative mood. Then after being together for over 35 years, it casually came out almost like she just wanted to get it off her chest. There it was over 17 other times during our marriage, WTF, mostly with the same few guys and one of them being my cousin.

Most of us as Cuckolds know our wife or girlfriend is seeing other men. But who on here has found out after the fact that your wife or girlfriend had been with someone else, how big was that gap in time from it happening until you found out and how did you find out that it did happen. How did you feel about it?

Your wife’s sex is not only owned by her husband.

[troilusand]

I totally get it, I Loan. I love the secrecy you and your wife have FROM each other.

I'm still besties with my friend and he has no clue that I know he and Cressida were lovers for a couple of years. Some day we'll talk.

I'm pretty open-minded about my wife's sexual relationships. To a fault, by most reasonable standards. But if I found out my best friend had a multi-year love affair with my wife behind my back, our next fishing trip might go poorly for him. In my mindset today, I could deal with it. But I remember the abject rage I felt when I first found out my wife was fucking a guy behind my back. I can't imagine what would have happened in your situation.

Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I'll cut the reply down to this part.

Besides not knowing about me being a closet cuckold, my buddy by far knows more about my sex life/desires than anyone else (except, of course, Cressida). He knew that I never felt I'd never have a problem with the other man if I caught my wife cheating. I told him, HE'S not cheating on me, SHE IS! It's natural for a man to want to fuck a woman, married or not, if she wants to fuck him.

I also used to parade Cressida around him in a bikini she'd wear to sunbathe in that fit her back when she was 14. It was stretched out from dozens and dozens of washings, so you could see her nipples if she leaned forward just 10 degrees; you could also easily see her cunt hair all the time as the elastic around the bottoms was completely played out. He even warned me that seeing her that way, he wasn't responsible for his actions!

And besides all that, they were lovers before we dated; so they already had a history. So when I started trying to convince Cress to fuck other men, he was an early target. She even confessed then that she was still in love with him.

Even though Cressida chose to continue to cheat instead of hotwife, a few years later she told me all about the many men she had love affairs with behind my back (boy, she was BUSY!)...except two men. And one was HIM. She waited 'til our 25th anniversary to tell me about their affair -- AS PRESENT TO ME! I was thrilled to hear that my bestie and my wife were in love and fucking behind my dumbshit back for a couple of years...and also thrilled to hear that no matter how I begged, she never told me who "the close friend of mine" was (that's ALL she'd tell me) before then because she promised HIM not to tell!

So even after she was confessing affairs during pillow talk, she still held back some information from ME that HER LOVERS didn't want me to know. You know where you stand when you're begging your wife for information and she won't share it because her lover doesn't want you to know...you're in second -- no, LAST place!!

Troilus

[Beardedweirdo]

I do need to know.

I am in the middle of suspecting that my wife fucked someone but not knowing for sure. I found condoms not intended for us to have sex with, but bought for her to have sex with someone else. I have a long thread in wannabes explaining it all. A fairly conclusive sign of cheating, but I don't know if she went through with it. I've looked out for signs of an affair, but there are none. Just condoms I know are not for me to use and a time when she was awol that coincides.

She has known and accepted for over 15 years that I want her to fuck other men. She even said that she proba bly would in her 40s, as we are now. What I didnt expect is cheating. I had in my mind that she'd give me full disosure before and after. But I think she prefers cheating knowing it isn't really cheating since when I eventually find out I'd love it!

I have to say though that I think I prefer knowing a bit but not everything. Ive been enjoying being the cheated on husband trying to piece the story together.

And tonight I disclosed to her, on our WhatsApp group between mhe and her, that I found then condoms, that I know they were bought with someone else in mind and asking her bluntly: Did you fuck him?

It is amazing to be in this space waiting for an answer.

[troilusand]

I do need to know.

I am in the middle of suspecting that my wife fucked someone but not knowing for sure. I found condoms not intended for us to have sex with, but bought for her to have sex with someone else. I have a long thread in wannabes explaining it all. A fairly conclusive sign of cheating, but I don't know if she went through with it. I've looked out for signs of an affair, but there are none. Just condoms I know are not for me to use and a time when she was awol that coincides.

She has known and accepted for over 15 years that I want her to fuck other men. She even said that she proba bly would in her 40s, as we are now. What I didnt expect is cheating. I had in my mind that she'd give me full disosure before and after. But I think she prefers cheating knowing it isn't really cheating since when I eventually find out I'd love it!

I have to say though that I think I prefer knowing a bit but not everything. Ive been enjoying being the cheated on husband trying to piece the story together.

And tonight I disclosed to her, on our WhatsApp group between mhe and her, that I found then condoms, that I know they were bought with someone else in mind and asking her bluntly: Did you fuck him?

It is amazing to be in this space waiting for an answer.

My wife and I used to correspond about sex also -- but it was with paper and pen, we're so old!

We found it a great way to say what we needed to say (and edit them, too, before delivery!) And the other person could cogitate about a response before delivering one.

Hope she comes clean...or even better, tells you, "it's none of your business." That way you'll know the obvious truth, but still have a cheating wife to jack off to.

Troilus

[shadowtantra]

We have been married for 30 years. During that time, I have found out that she has had 2 affairs. the first at 10 years and the second 20 years into our relationship. So are we due for the 3rd? Each one lasted about 6 months and in each one I found out about them about 6 months after they ended. Its the 2nd one that brought me to this site as I realized that I needed to better understand both my anger at the betrayal and my arousal. I regret what I said when I found out as I think I may have ruined any chance of future hotwife opportunities nor do I think that she will cheat again but who knows, we are due - its the 30 year mark. I will share more in the wannabe thread.

[Des 31]

We should understand that our wives need it, whether they tell us or not. It's better if they're open with us, but most wives need more than they get after having been married for a while. If we're good husbands, we should allow her the freedom to get what she needs.

I am grateful to the other guys who make themselves available to my wife whenever she feels the need or desire. And I'm grateful to her she has taken advantage of the freedom to be the woman she is.

[Mgcouplemn]

Yes, If she wants sex with someone she knows I like watching and jerking off. Besides anything else would not work for me. My past wife would go out on dates, get fucked then come home wet and tell me all the details while I was getting sloppy seconds or jerking off. After many years of doing this she started to go out on dates, get fucked but then come home and ignore me and my needs, led to us breaking up.

[Des 31]

I wouldn't say I need to know, but it was nice learning that my wife cheated with a former co-worker. ....

I'm probably as excited as she whenever she is going out on a date with another man.

I understand you pointing out "need" but as you express in your last sentence about how excited you are when she goes out on a date. I like that she can go out on a date and possibly fuck without the deceit or having to use the term cheating, meaning without permission or lack of knowledge of the spouse. I like and always respected good communication and the honesty within that.

No disagreement there. I love it the same way as you. My wife tells me everything, down to the last detail she can remember while she and I are having sex. The good communication and honesty are - in my opinion - a necessary part of this way of life.

[mily83]

Not fair, I can choose only one option from the poll, and I had at least 5 of this scenarios. Yeah...it was a long journey

[long4her]

My wife of 30 years has never cheated on me. I have told her (3 months ago) that I want her to be with others, the caveat being I have to watch or atleast she has to tell me about it. If I don't know, what would I get out of it? If done in secret then it is cheating and no bueno. She hasn't taken me up on it but we are discussing it.
There was once when we were dating that she was with another man and she told me about it. Not sure I can classify it as cheating though as she was still married to him but separated. She went to see him on their anniversary and informed me she was still married to him and yes they had sex. I really couldn't get too upset over that. The harder part about that was shortly after she was drunk and we were going at it and she told me she wished I was bigger, that it would feel better. Said he was bigger. That was a blow to the ego then when I was young.

I’m so twisted that I’d be turned on - and hurt - that she admitted he was bigger than me. If he’s not bigger, why would she bother?

[Beardedweirdo]

I've told me wife that she need only ever tell me basic facts, who? When? Where? My thinking is that she may want to keep her extra marital liaisons separate to our married and family life, psychologically. I've always told her that if she does anything then it's not about me, it's her being free to do as she pleases.

Lately I've suspected she has gone through with it (see wannabes) but she hasn't been forthcoming with any confession. If she has and when she is ready to tell me then I do not want her to feel awkward or that she has to tell me all the details. Factual disclosure will do. Who did she fuck? When did she fuck him? Where?

[The Owl]

We have been married for 30 years. During that time, I have found out that she has had 2 affairs. the first at 10 years and the second 20 years into our relationship. So are we due for the 3rd? Each one lasted about 6 months and in each one I found out about them about 6 months after they ended. Its the 2nd one that brought me to this site as I realized that I needed to better understand both my anger at the betrayal and my arousal. I regret what I said when I found out as I think I may have ruined any chance of future hotwife opportunities nor do I think that she will cheat again but who knows, we are due - its the 30 year mark. I will share more in the wannabe thread.

Hi Shadowtantra:

There is a difference between a private affair and consensual hotwife/cuckold boundary pushing. Have you spoken with your wife about the arousal side of the equation? She knows about your anger, but does she know how arousing her behavior was for you. You may want to integrate some fantasies of yours while you are inside her and she is close to orgasm. "I like being inside you after you have been freshly fucked by another man..." that sort of thing. Make sure to apologize for your anger and let her know that you would like to know before she has her next affair, not after it is over.

[isinlarsa]

I could have responded affirmatively to two options. My wife once had an affair with a coworker that lasted about three months until I learned of it. She confessed and I loved it. So now, she is sexually active with other men and with my full approval. I love that as much as she loves other men fucking her as she wishes.

That's also the way my first wife started. She started an affair with a coworker and carried it on for a few weeks before she confessed to me. I, too, loved it and encouraged her to continue. She continued and her paramour knew that I was aware and approved.

[shadowtantra]

We have been married for 30 years. During that time, I have found out that she has had 2 affairs. the first at 10 years and the second 20 years into our relationship. So are we due for the 3rd? Each one lasted about 6 months and in each one I found out about them about 6 months after they ended. Its the 2nd one that brought me to this site as I realized that I needed to better understand both my anger at the betrayal and my arousal. I regret what I said when I found out as I think I may have ruined any chance of future hotwife opportunities nor do I think that she will cheat again but who knows, we are due - its the 30 year mark. I will share more in the wannabe thread.

Hi Shadowtantra:

There is a difference between a private affair and consensual hotwife/cuckold boundary pushing. Have you spoken with your wife about the arousal side of the equation? She knows about your anger, but does she know how arousing her behavior was for you. You may want to integrate some fantasies of yours while you are inside her and she is close to orgasm. "I like being inside you after you have been freshly fucked by another man..." that sort of thing. Make sure to apologize for your anger and let her know that you would like to know before she has her next affair, not after it is over.

Hi Owl,

Thank you for your suggestions! The affair happened 10 years ago and since then I have undergone a transformation in my belief of our relationship from one of possession and sexual exclusivity to an open marriage based on trust and love. With that I apologized for my anger at the time and that in future she has my full support to explore outside of our marriage. Til now, she has refused, still too much shame about what she did and it has actually reduced her overall desire for sex in general. We are going back to the basics to lessen shame and increase confidence. Will see what happens! Thanks again!

[KBZ69]

We have been in the lifestyle for s goof get yet now but I tell her I love her to cheat on me as well as being aware of her other liaisons