whosbeensleeping wrote: ↑Sat May 06, 2023 1:25 pmThe calling at work behaviour is a sign of and/or form of abuse. That is tough to deal with.
Bonne courage as the French say.
Yes, it certainly is. Unfortunately though it soon got a WHOLE lot worse.
I've written up what happened late Friday night but in all honesty I don't think I should post it. I'll write something different now.
Let's just say that I must have been keeping a little bit too emotionally distant for what she immediately required and she pulled out the ultimate form of emotional blackmail to correct that.
I lay in bed with headphones on listening to some uplifting music. She grabbed her coat and left the house at almost midnight. Once I realised she was gone I got dressed to go find her. She came back to get her umbrella just as I was at the door to go find her. She was in a real state like I've never seen before. I just held her for a good long 15 minutes before we spoke. She told me where she was going, and it's real bad.
We spoke for a good hour or so afterwards. Lots of tears. Spoke about the last few years. She accepted a little responsibility for it, but mostly she put forth a different version of events where she wasn't to blame. No mention of her online affair (and I couldn't raise it in that state).
I held her all night and didn't sleep. She told me that Thursday night ( the night before) was bad as she had all those bad thoughts. I guess she was planning out what she was going to do.
2 days later and I'm still really shaken up about it all. I called the emergency councillor number last night. Only of marginal help but she did tell me that I'm not responsible for her mental health and if somthing like that happens again to call an ambulance.
The most chilling thing she said while in that state, and it was the way that she said it "I'm sorry that I don't know how to love". It was like out of a movie and will haunt me for a long time to come.
Having extracted from me what she needed she's in a much better state today. I'm not though. I took her for lunch and to see a movie yesterday (the next day), and she thanked me for that early this morning.
Obviously I can't stay with her through emotional blackmail like that. However I also feel stuck in how do I leave? I'll try and get her to see a psychologist or something (she needs to be diagnosed) but I don’t think she'll go.
My appointment with counsellor isn't for another week, I really wish it was sooner.
When we spoke she wants me to work a lot less. I guess she wants me home at her beck and call. I can't do that.
For now I guess I'm playing along buying time to try and plan something. I'm at a loss as what to do. I know the first place she'll go if I break it off without some kind of plan in place.