Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Badapple39]

Hello VHW!
What do I do if my wife likes a guy neighbor and insists on being friends with him and his wife but also mixing in some sex when the evening suits BUT she wants me to be friends with them but I am defensive around him because I’ve been offended with comments and double standards he has between my behavior and my wife’s. I’m not into humiliation or being bullied. I just want my wife to have a good time. I feel my absence would be better but my wife wants to be friends. I don’t understand the dynamic. Visiting them and the fun stuff always starts off as couples and I’m uncomfortable around them together. And she doesn’t want to visit them alone but she wants the excitement it leads to. Any help is appreciated.

[alicexg]

That's where clear rules comes along. If it doesn't feel right for my hubby I wont do it, true the other way around. Your wife may have a good time with them but you don't so express to her your feelings. I'm my case we do have detail conversations in everything we do in the LS, if it doesn't feel right for one it is not right for both.

Alice

Hello VHW!
What do I do if my wife likes a guy neighbor and insists on being friends with him and his wife but also mixing in some sex when the evening suits BUT she wants me to be friends with them but I am defensive around him because I’ve been offended with comments and double standards he has between my behavior and my wife’s. I’m not into humiliation or being bullied. I just want my wife to have a good time. I feel my absence would be better but my wife wants to be friends. I don’t understand the dynamic. Visiting them and the fun stuff always starts off as couples and I’m uncomfortable around them together. And she doesn’t want to visit them alone but she wants the excitement it leads to. Any help is appreciated.

[Badapple39]

Thank you. This is the response I was hoping to get.
I want to enjoy this too and I thought maybe it was just harder for me and I was getting cold feet but I didn’t think I was and I started to not trust myself.
I think I can go into this now thinking, it’s okay to be uncomfortable for my wife if we are just going to be friendly.
Who knows what will happen from there! One of the best off broadway shows I saw was “I love you, you’re perfect, now change”
Thank you.

[Farmgirl]

Hello VHW!
What do I do if my wife likes a guy neighbor and insists on being friends with him and his wife but also mixing in some sex when the evening suits BUT she wants me to be friends with them but I am defensive around him because I’ve been offended with comments and double standards he has between my behavior and my wife’s. I’m not into humiliation or being bullied. I just want my wife to have a good time. I feel my absence would be better but my wife wants to be friends. I don’t understand the dynamic. Visiting them and the fun stuff always starts off as couples and I’m uncomfortable around them together. And she doesn’t want to visit them alone but she wants the excitement it leads to. Any help is appreciated.

An open and honest discussion will allay fears and insecurity. That is how my Number1 and I prevent this kind of conflict. We talk about the LS every day, several times a day, partially to share our enjoyment and partially to make sure we are both happily on the same page.
We don't have rules, but we know each other's likes and dislikes, and I would never knowingly do something that would cause him concern. For that to work, I have to know how he feels and he has to know how I feel.

[Allinfun]

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before. Would you recommend a swing or hotwife lifestyle to your daughter? If single, would you recommend more of a "sow your wild oats/play the field" sort of attitude about dating and men? I think the stigma around women who seek variety is lessening (it differs by region), but is certainly still there. Men can sow their wild oats, but women are sluts for the same behavior.

[excitedPotential7]

My wife detests the idea of hotwifing or cuckolding but I have seen her make out with someone else before, she doesn't know that I know, I'm desperate for her to want it but she doesn't seem interested. Anything I can do to make her consider her own sexual needs?

[2inUPMichigan]

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before. Would you recommend a swing or hotwife lifestyle to your daughter? If single, would you recommend more of a "sow your wild oats/play the field" sort of attitude about dating and men? I think the stigma around women who seek variety is lessening (it differs by region), but is certainly still there. Men can sow their wild oats, but women are sluts for the same behavior.

I wouldn't recommend this choice to anyone. However if someone came to me asking for advice I would listen to them first, then give them both the pros and cons. It is an individual decision, not one that works for everyone, so recommending it as something that would work regardless of the situation would never be my approach.

No one way of dating works for all women is my answer. Each woman should make the decision that works best for them and not feel pressured one way or the other to conform to what others are doing.

[2inUPMichigan]

My wife detests the idea of hotwifing or cuckolding but I have seen her make out with someone else before, she doesn't know that I know, I'm desperate for her to want it but she doesn't seem interested. Anything I can do to make her consider her own sexual needs?

It sounds like you would consider that her needs would be met if she were to become a hotwife. What if she already considers her needs met?

I don't know your personal situation but if she actually detests the idea of hotwifing, why would you want her to consider doing something that would make her think badly about herself? If someone has an aversion to hotwifing then encouraging it would not be very healthy.

Could the incident you saw be one of the reasons that she detests the idea of hotwifing? Could she regret what happened so much that she can't forgive herself? Did you see her actively involved in the situation you watched or could it have been something else? There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

[excitedPotential7]

My wife detests the idea of hotwifing or cuckolding but I have seen her make out with someone else before, she doesn't know that I know, I'm desperate for her to want it but she doesn't seem interested. Anything I can do to make her consider her own sexual needs?

It sounds like you would consider that her needs would be met if she were to become a hotwife. What if she already considers her needs met?

I don't know your personal situation but if she actually detests the idea of hotwifing, why would you want her to consider doing something that would make her think badly about herself? If someone has an aversion to hotwifing then encouraging it would not be very healthy.

Could the incident you saw be one of the reasons that she detests the idea of hotwifing? Could she regret what happened so much that she can't forgive herself? Did you see her actively involved in the situation you watched or could it have been something else? There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

Great questions. She was definitely a willing participant in what I saw. I think you are right on the money about it being that she regrets so much what she did. But that would be the second incident of her semi-cheating. In the very beginning of our relationship, I caught her sexting an older man.

I do believe that her needs are being met so you are right again there. However, due to those two events I feel like she would really enjoy hotwifing. We had talked about it a few months ago and she seemed very willing after confirming that I wasn't rrying to leave her but then she went cold and never brought it up again.

[2inUPMichigan]

***
Please remember this is not a regular discussion thread.
Only VHW'S are to answer the questions.
All other posts can and most likely will be deleted along with responses to them.
******

Thank you
2inUP

[excitedPotential7]

Anyone have any thoughts on my last comment

[Sexilexi]

Question:

I have never done a DP but I am very curious about it, {I do love anal sex specially with well hung me} if you have done DP before is it pleasurable/painful or its just another male fantasy?

Hey Alicexg…

I have yet to try it but want to when the opportunity arises. I am sorry I can’t answer fully but I just wanted to comment so others could remember your question. Cuz I’m also curious too. Hehe

Imo I feel like it will be a bit of both pleasure and pain… but once you get a groove .. should be fun. I feel like it’ll take a lot of work too haha

-Lexi

[Sexilexi]

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before. Would you recommend a swing or hotwife lifestyle to your daughter? If single, would you recommend more of a "sow your wild oats/play the field" sort of attitude about dating and men? I think the stigma around women who seek variety is lessening (it differs by region), but is certainly still there. Men can sow their wild oats, but women are sluts for the same behavior.

This is a great question Imo. I agree with 2up’s response. I would always give pros and cons. I try to remain open to all possible “dating” ways when raising my kids. There’s usually only one way to do partnership broadcasted in our society. (Monogamy mainly)

So I try to make it somewhat normal in our home that it’s ok to explore all possible partnerships.

Good luck either way!!!

-Lexi

[jane]

i agree with 2inup and lexi, i wouldn't suggest this to my daughter, at least i do not think i would, but certainly not for someone perhaps under 25. dealing with sex and relationships is hard, especially when you don't have experience. that's why most hotwifing is after people have been married a while. i am more open to things now and letting her know different choices are okay than my mom was with me. i think it's a case by case situation what people are up for and can handle. i will let her know she is in charge of her sex life and no one else.

[irishstag41]

Do you wonderful hotwives have hotwife friends in your everyday lives . My wife and are thinking of socialising/becoming friends with a couple with our same dynamic. Is this common? How do you meet hotwife couples in your area?

[tempus_fugit36]

Hello Hot Wives, I am trying to understand what could lead a hot wife to make her husband Pussyfree (my case); by saying that, I can state that:

1) before I got into ED problems for a few years (I am all good now) me and my wife enjoyed each other on the bed
2) during my erectile disfunction problem, which took me a few years to get my erections back, I took the decision to allow her to have sex with other men at our house, and despite she was reluctant at the start, she truly enjoy it.

My point is, knowing that different females things in different ways, but:

1) why my wife never even wanted to allowed me to have sex at least once with her after I got cured? Would it be most likely because of the size of their cocks?
2) the most my wife does in sexual terms is to excite me and train me to ejaculate very quick; as it is today after so many years I end up coming with a few her touches only. What could possibly be the reason why he wanted me to become a sexual incompetent like this?

She says she loves me but never answers to these questions, therefore I would like to hear the opinions of you, who knows better than I.

Thank you

[tempus_fugit36]

Hello Hot Wives, I am trying to understand what could lead a hot wife to make her husband Pussyfree (my case); by saying that, I can state that:

1) before I got into ED problems for a few years (I am all good now) me and my wife enjoyed each other on the bed
2) during my erectile disfunction problem, which took me a few years to get my erections back, I took the initiative to allow her to have sex with other men at our house, and despite she was reluctant at the start, she truly enjoy it. Why did I take his initiative? Because she was in need for sex and the most she tried to excite me, the worst I was (psychological side effects).

My point is, knowing that different females things in different ways, but:

1) why my wife never even wanted to allowed me to have sex at least once with her after I got cured? Would it be most likely because of the size of their cocks?
2) the most my wife does in sexual terms is to excite me and train me to ejaculate very quick; as it is today after so many years I end up coming with a few her touches only. What could possibly be the reason why she wanted me to become a sexual incompetent like this?

She says she loves me but never answers to these questions, therefore I would like to hear the opinions of you, who knows better than I.

Thank you

[Farmgirl]

Do you wonderful hotwives have hotwife friends in your everyday lives . My wife and are thinking of socialising/becoming friends with a couple with our same dynamic. Is this common? How do you meet hotwife couples in your area?

I have had a few friends over the years that were Hotwives locally. I've never tried meeting other Hotwives, they were just into it and we heard about each other. Though we each knew it, we didn't hang out and discuss things. I have a lot of friends, but I and my Number1 don't "hang out" with people.
I know many people see friends as someone to hang out with. I see friends as the people you don't have to hang out with but are the ones that you can count on when you have a problem. They are the ones that could care less what they might hear about you.

[Farmgirl]

Hello Hot Wives, I am trying to understand what could lead a hot wife to make her husband Pussyfree (my case); by saying that, I can state that:

1) before I got into ED problems for a few years (I am all good now) me and my wife enjoyed each other on the bed
2) during my erectile disfunction problem, which took me a few years to get my erections back, I took the decision to allow her to have sex with other men at our house, and despite she was reluctant at the start, she truly enjoy it.

My point is, knowing that different females things in different ways, but:

1) why my wife never even wanted to allowed me to have sex at least once with her after I got cured? Would it be most likely because of the size of their cocks?
2) the most my wife does in sexual terms is to excite me and train me to ejaculate very quick; as it is today after so many years I end up coming with a few her touches only. What could possibly be the reason why he wanted me to become a sexual incompetent like this?

She says she loves me but never answers to these questions, therefore I would like to hear the opinions of you, who knows better than I.

Thank you

If you have a loving wife, a loving Cuckoldress, then she does this because you let her know that you wanted it. If you didn't really like it, you would put a stop to it.
This is more of the "my wife makes me" nonsense. Loving Cuckoldresses do things for their husbands, not to their husbands. I am fully aware that cuckolds love the mental image of their wives doing things to them, and a good Cuckoldress loves giving her man what he wants.

[2inUPMichigan]

Hello Hot Wives, I am trying to understand what could lead a hot wife to make her husband Pussyfree (my case); by saying that, I can state that:

1) before I got into ED problems for a few years (I am all good now) me and my wife enjoyed each other on the bed
2) during my erectile disfunction problem, which took me a few years to get my erections back, I took the initiative to allow her to have sex with other men at our house, and despite she was reluctant at the start, she truly enjoy it. Why did I take his initiative? Because she was in need for sex and the most she tried to excite me, the worst I was (psychological side effects).

My point is, knowing that different females things in different ways, but:

1) why my wife never even wanted to allowed me to have sex at least once with her after I got cured? Would it be most likely because of the size of their cocks?
2) the most my wife does in sexual terms is to excite me and train me to ejaculate very quick; as it is today after so many years I end up coming with a few her touches only. What could possibly be the reason why she wanted me to become a sexual incompetent like this?

She says she loves me but never answers to these questions, therefore I would like to hear the opinions of you, who knows better than I.

Thank you

Maybe the answer has nothing to do with the concept of "pussy free" and other men, and instead has to do with her feelings of grief and loss over those years of dealing with ED.

While you were dealing with those physical and psychological issues related to ED, she was dealing with some of her own. If the two of you never talked about that time and how it effected each of you then it is time to do so.

[tempus_fugit36]

Hello Hot Wives, I am trying to understand what could lead a hot wife to make her husband Pussyfree (my case); by saying that, I can state that:

1) before I got into ED problems for a few years (I am all good now) me and my wife enjoyed each other on the bed
2) during my erectile disfunction problem, which took me a few years to get my erections back, I took the initiative to allow her to have sex with other men at our house, and despite she was reluctant at the start, she truly enjoy it. Why did I take his initiative? Because she was in need for sex and the most she tried to excite me, the worst I was (psychological side effects).

My point is, knowing that different females things in different ways, but:

1) why my wife never even wanted to allowed me to have sex at least once with her after I got cured? Would it be most likely because of the size of their cocks?
2) the most my wife does in sexual terms is to excite me and train me to ejaculate very quick; as it is today after so many years I end up coming with a few her touches only. What could possibly be the reason why she wanted me to become a sexual incompetent like this?

She says she loves me but never answers to these questions, therefore I would like to hear the opinions of you, who knows better than I.

Thank you

Maybe the answer has nothing to do with the concept of "pussy free" and other men, and instead has to do with her feelings of grief and loss over those years of dealing with ED.

While you were dealing with those physical and psychological issues related to ED, she was dealing with some of her own. If the two of you never talked about that time and how it effected each of you then it is time to do so.

Thank you very much for sharing a bit of a HW experience on this sensible topic. We did talk together about it, but we never got into a solution out of my wife stating that there are a few reasons why she doesn’t want to have sex intercourse with me, the ones that hurts the most was saying that she never got so much sexual satisfaction after she have intercourse with these two regular individuals; when I asked for details she mentioned the size and the fact that they are there to satisfy their masculine needs only, there is no love or care involved and this kind of play never existed nor never would exist with me being her husband. She also mentioned that she sees me as a husband, a good one, who cares of her needs and allows her to look for satisfaction elsewhere, but she doesn’t see me as a dominant man as she have now.

[Sexilexi]

Do you wonderful hotwives have hotwife friends in your everyday lives . My wife and are thinking of socialising/becoming friends with a couple with our same dynamic. Is this common? How do you meet hotwife couples in your area?

Irishstag - Good luck to you and your wife!

The only thing that is “common” in the lifestyle is the fact that for every couple out there -there is a different way/path of playing in this lifestyle. Lol.

With that being said - do you!!!! If y’all want like minded friends then go for it. Sometimes that could make this lifestyle a bit easier.

How to find couples? Just google lifestyle apps and pick the one best for you. SDC has always been a plus for us. I’m sure there are others.

Happy looking!

-Lexi

[alicexg]

We have memberships at some LS websites like SDC and SLS we also participate in events like Fetish Factory (they promote events every week) and Caliente Resorts, so yeah we have many friends in the LS, I know personally many HW in the area, for us is fun because we can go to events together and socialize.

Do you wonderful hotwives have hotwife friends in your everyday lives . My wife and are thinking of socialising/becoming friends with a couple with our same dynamic. Is this common? How do you meet hotwife couples in your area?

[2xboto]

Hello hot wife's , I'm curious now that you feed your boyfriend fucked cum Filled pussy to your cuck . How does that make you see him now?
Do you think of him as your subservient sex slave . That your his dominate ? Does it turn you on to see him lick your boyfriend's cum out of your pussy besides the physical feelings ?
It seems a woman loves to be dominated by a man . In this case a hot wife to her fuckbuddy , so your cuck would now take the place of your bitch ?
I was looking forward to that with my wife and encouraged her to fuck other cocks so I could taste her pussy afterwards .
She did fuck someone but kept it a secret for a long time

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum 2xboto.