Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[wannabecUKold]

Many thanks Anon for that fascinating insight into how things are going between you and your girlfriend. She really seems to be enjoying herself and especially the powerplay of hearing you agree that you want her to cuckold you again, in whatever scenario she dreams up. It sounds like she is not pressing yet for an actual replay. Has she made any mention of that yet? Would she prefer the ex again or the best friend? Enjoy.

[elina]

Dear Anon

I hope you are doing well and that you and your Girlfriend is not just having conversations but that you are also connecting physically. Especially, as I have stated before, I suggest you should now spend a lot of time servicing your Girlfriends wonderful pussy with your mouth, maybe as She is exploring alternative options to test your reactions while She is licking you.

I admit that I did not anticipate to what extent this would actually awaken your Girlfriends latent desires, allthough given that She admitted to you that She had a wide spectrum of previous sexual experiences and looking at the way that She fucked your ass while interrogating you, it is clear that She is fully able to take charge. I think many of us reading this story dearly wish our Wives would do the same to us.

I am not going to suggest that you start experimenting with a chastity cage at this stage. What I do think is appropriate for you to think about is whether you should experiment with staying chaste for a certain period of time. What is likely to happen then is that the longer you go without cumming, the more easy it will be to agree to whatever your Girlfriend proposes, and the more eager you will be to support Her. Having seen how your Girlfriend reacted earlier, I do think that if you raise this topic with Her, She might take to that idea like a duck to water as well. Also be aware that not all chastity cages will work equally well for all males and most cages will require a gradual approach to prolonging the lock up time, especially for someone who has never been locked in a cage before.

Sincerely
elina

[anondesires]

Many thanks Anon for that fascinating insight into how things are going between you and your girlfriend. She really seems to be enjoying herself and especially the powerplay of hearing you agree that you want her to cuckold you again, in whatever scenario she dreams up. It sounds like she is not pressing yet for an actual replay. Has she made any mention of that yet? Would she prefer the ex again or the best friend? Enjoy.

She hasn't mentioned planning a next time yet, we've been in our own bubble since Saturday's experience. There's plenty of vague talk of possibilities but no actual plans.

[anondesires]

Dear Anon

I hope you are doing well and that you and your Girlfriend is not just having conversations but that you are also connecting physically. Especially, as I have stated before, I suggest you should now spend a lot of time servicing your Girlfriends wonderful pussy with your mouth, maybe as She is exploring alternative options to test your reactions while She is licking you.

I admit that I did not anticipate to what extent this would actually awaken your Girlfriends latent desires, allthough given that She admitted to you that She had a wide spectrum of previous sexual experiences and looking at the way that She fucked your ass while interrogating you, it is clear that She is fully able to take charge. I think many of us reading this story dearly wish our Wives would do the same to us.

I am not going to suggest that you start experimenting with a chastity cage at this stage. What I do think is appropriate for you to think about is whether you should experiment with staying chaste for a certain period of time. What is likely to happen then is that the longer you go without cumming, the more easy it will be to agree to whatever your Girlfriend proposes, and the more eager you will be to support Her. Having seen how your Girlfriend reacted earlier, I do think that if you raise this topic with Her, She might take to that idea like a duck to water as well. Also be aware that not all chastity cages will work equally well for all males and most cages will require a gradual approach to prolonging the lock up time, especially for someone who has never been locked in a cage before.

Sincerely
elina

I think I mentioned early on that she doesn't like receiving oral, she prefers to give. I've been aware in the last few weeks that she's starting to like me giving her oral and will even request it. This seemed hot to me. I'm also aware that I can't remember when she last sucked my dick other than the time she was tied up and I asked her to show me what she wanted to do with my friend's dick. It might've been a few weeks now. Since I realised a few days ago, I'm deliberately not initiating it to see if she even still wants to.

She would take charge in the past, maybe get on top and ride my face for example but she would do it to provoke a dominant response from me, not to enjoy riding my face or being in charge. Now she seems to enjoy it for what it is. She did it on Sunday or Monday, I assumed she wanted to be dominated but she resisted that. I probably could've overpowered her but I found it hot that she was enjoying it and asserting dominance. I also tried to copy a couple of things the other guy did to her but she had the complete opposite reaction to when he did them which was also weirdly hot.

She tried a new technique the other day that she had been reading about, she was edging me while telling me about a fantasy of hers and then completely stopped for a few seconds (denial?). For those few seconds I felt completely submissive and frustrated. She was just experimenting and wanted to know how it made me feel but I sense that's going to become another tool at her disposal.

I think you're right that I would probably be more likely to agree to her proposals if I hadn't cum for a while. The problem is that I'm too aroused at all times, there's too much going on right now. It is hot that she's able to use my arousal to manipulate me but the thought of being permanently aroused scares me. Who knows what mad things I would agree to. I imagine it would remove the clarity/regret and keep me "in the moment".

[sucker00]

Anon,
I'm curious how the dynamic in your relationship has been since she had her tryst and given what you relayed in your response to Elina's post.
On one hand, it's not possible for your normal life routine to become hyper-sexualized every waking moment that the two of you are together, but at the same time, I can see it being equally difficult for it not to be....at least in both your minds. How much time are the two of you focusing on this dynamic as compared to talking about normal daily stuff? It sounds like the dynamic is moving quickly and there's a lot of mental processing for both of you of where this is headed. Thanks again for sharing your journey with us.

[anondesires]

Anon,
I'm curious how the dynamic in your relationship has been since she had her tryst and given what you relayed in your response to Elina's post.
On one hand, it's not possible for your normal life routine to become hyper-sexualized every waking moment that the two of you are together, but at the same time, I can see it being equally difficult for it not to be....at least in both your minds. How much time are the two of you focusing on this dynamic as compared to talking about normal daily stuff? It sounds like the dynamic is moving quickly and there's a lot of mental processing for both of you of where this is headed. Thanks again for sharing your journey with us.

It's been like when we first got together again, trying new things and figuring out what we like. Sex is our top priority again, everything else can wait. It feels better though, it's more honest, more familiar, more daring. Which event are you referring to as a tryst? I'd say since that first conversation where I brought up her past again, it's been pretty full on but there's a pattern to it.

In the morning, we might not mention it, it can go either way. In the evening, we'll have dinner, talk about our days and current affairs. Once dinner is cleared up, it's usually game on. We would normally watch TV or something, sometimes we still do but we'll usually get distracted from it.

[venus-can99]

Sounds like you guys are enjoying sex again - which is great.

[joel68]

Has there been any more talk from her about your friend?

[JackCUK]

Sounds like things are going well for you guys, I'm glad to hear it. Thanks for keeping us posted.

One thing I meant to ask before, you mentioned that your gf had got some ideas from a book she read - maybe online? Can you tell us what the book was? Apologies if you said and I missed it.

[anondesires]

So I asked about my friend again, the weekend is approaching and I still didn't know what the situation was with her still asking me not to mention it to him. She braced herself and agreed to revisit it. She told me that the details of the encounter weren't accurate, that she had panicked while telling me and lied about some of it. She asked me to tell the story back to her and she would correct me.

[...]
Her: I think it was between Christmas and New Year. He was wearing those tight shorts and had something hanging inside his leg, I assumed it was a pair of socks or something embarrassing, we were all a bit drunk and I thought it would be funny to reach in from underneath and pull whatever it was out...
Me: And it was his dick? Where was I?
Her: I think you'd gone to [get drinks/snacks from a place down the street]. Yes it was his dick but I honestly didn't expect it to be, I wouldn't have done it if I did.
Me: So what happened? How did you see it?
Her: I was confused. It felt like a big slightly hard dick but I guess I didn't believe it was real. I was like "omg is that real? I'm so sorry" but instead of pulling my hand out, I reached in further to see if it attached *laughs nervously*. He didn't answer immediately and I guess my hand was in there waiting for him to answer. It started to get hard in my hand and I guess out of habit I encouraged it with my hand a little. I think he said something like "why? do you like it?" and it snapped me back to reality, I pulled my hand out and freaked out. I begged him not to tell you about it and he said he wouldn't [...]

So far she agreed this was true.

he said he wouldn't as long as I did as he said. I agreed. He stood up and told me to get on my knees.

This is where it became a lie. She said this lie probably came easy to her because she had thought about it a lot, not just when she was trying to think about how to tell me but as a fantasy. She imagined him blackmailing her to do all sorts of things. She said the idea of him having the power to make her do anything and her doing it to protect me and/or our relationship is a hot concept to her.

The truth is she then asked to see his dick. He refused to show her or do anything more, she was knelt between his legs at this point and she reached in and took it out herself. She admired it and stroked it to full hardness. She said she remembers wanting to "corrupt" him, not liking that he was so restrained, she wanted to feel from him that he wanted more. She tried to tease him by opening her mouth over it like she was stroking a cum load into her mouth. She asked him "do you want me to suck it?".

She then asked me if I thought she did and giggled (it's become a bit of a theme with these confessions/fantasies). I said no. She asked me if I hoped she did it. I admitted that part of me did.

She said he pulled away from her and put his dick away while sighing "you have no idea", she assumed that to mean that he wanted it a lot and struggled to stop it and do the right thing. She reminded me that she was quite drunk.

So a week or two after this, the next time they were alone together, he told her that he didn't want to harm our relationship but felt like he had a duty to tell me about what happened and was letting her know that he was going to tell me. She panicked and threatened to tell me something about him if he did. She wouldn't tell me what this was but she's essentially been blackmailing him, not only so he wouldn't tell me but she's been teasing him and stroking his cock whenever the opportunity has arisen.

I told her I had noticed that they had got more flirty but I didn't know there was anything behind it. She said it was probably him venting his frustration with her.

She said she can't tell me much more without revealing his secret but otherwise this is everything there is to tell and if I were to ask him, he'd probably agree that it was accurate. She then asked me what I want to do about it. I asked what she meant. She said I could ask him about it, he'd agree, it'd be awkward between us all but she/they'd be tempted to carry on teasing, it'd just feel even more forbidden for him. She was like "ooorrr... we could carry on as we are... I could let you in on the secret and we could have some fun with it/him...?" I asked what she meant by that. She suggested that if I was ok with it, she would try to push him further, see how far she could make him go, she said she could set up a hidden camera and I could watch the video back after. She said I could deliberately give them opportunities alone to do things and she would work with me so that she could tell me all about it after.

I told her it seemed too risky and I didn't like the idea that he would feel like he had one over on me. She told me he wouldn't feel like that, he would feel guilty which would be a bit cruel of us but that I would actually be in the position where I could make him squirm, that I would have one over on him. I understand what she means but I'm not sure I'm buying it. I asked what happens if he decides to confess to me, I would be forced to either admit that I knew and allowed it anyway or act like I've been cheated on but then not break up with her. She admitted she didn't have an answer to that one but said he's unlikely to confess after so many incidents and so much time.

I said that I don't know what to do about it, she told me that I don't have to decide now. She asked if I still wanted to ask for his version or discuss it with him. I told her there's probably not much point, that my main problem before was that he had done wrong by both of us whereas now it seems like he was trying to do the right thing but she had corrupted him. She pointed out that I had already decided then, that we would continue as we are, it was just a matter of whether to push it further, by how much and when. I said I didn't want her to push it further but I wanted to see the kind of things they had been doing and hear about them from her before and/or after she had done them. I asked if that meant she would let me in on his secret, she agreed to.

Apparently she threatened him that she would tell me about his foot fetish. She didn't know for sure that he had one at the time but was desperate and was convinced enough having caught him looking at her feet a few times over the years. She's been with a couple of guys that had foot fetishes and apparently she has sexy feet. I don't see it or understand it personally. She looks after them, they're clean, smooth and well proportioned I suppose but they just look like feet to me. He denied it at first so she took off her socks in front of him, teased him with her bare feet and put them in his face. Apparently he acted like nothing was happening but she put her toes in his mouth and he licked them. When she said before that she had stroked his dick when the opportunity had arisen, she meant with her feet.

I told her this was cool and all that she had figured this out and manipulated him like that but a foot fetish wasn't on the same shame level as being a cuckold. She told me to stop being ungrateful and reminded me that I... WE currently had one over on him, that he wasn't going to feel like bragging about licking her feet and having his dick made hard by her feet. It was a fair point I guess.

So that's the situation, I want to find some sort of hidden camera, probably just something USB that'll connect to a laptop that stays on while it's closed and unsuspicious looking.

[anondesires]

One thing I meant to ask before, you mentioned that your gf had got some ideas from a book she read - maybe online? Can you tell us what the book was? Apologies if you said and I missed it.

I've tried to find this out for myself but she won't tell me. I think she doesn't want me wising up to her tricks. All I know is it was on Kindle but now she's read a few of them. I figured there would only be like 1 book about cuckolding aimed at women on there but there's loads. "How To Cuckold Your Husband", "How to Get Your Husband to Beg to Be a Cuckold : A Hotwife's Guide", "How Does It Really Feel to Cuckold Your Husband?: A Hotwife's Guide". I assume it must be something along those lines but I don't know which one or which one got her started.

If I find out, I'll post them here.

[elina]

I think I mentioned early on that she doesn't like receiving oral, she prefers to give. I've been aware in the last few weeks that she's starting to like me giving her oral and will even request it. This seemed hot to me. I'm also aware that I can't remember when she last sucked my dick other than the time she was tied up and I asked her to show me what she wanted to do with my friend's dick. It might've been a few weeks now. Since I realised a few days ago, I'm deliberately not initiating it to see if she even still wants to.

She would take charge in the past, maybe get on top and ride my face for example but she would do it to provoke a dominant response from me, not to enjoy riding my face or being in charge. Now she seems to enjoy it for what it is. She did it on Sunday or Monday, I assumed she wanted to be dominated but she resisted that. I probably could've overpowered her but I found it hot that she was enjoying it and asserting dominance. I also tried to copy a couple of things the other guy did to her but she had the complete opposite reaction to when he did them which was also weirdly hot.

She tried a new technique the other day that she had been reading about, she was edging me while telling me about a fantasy of hers and then completely stopped for a few seconds (denial?). For those few seconds I felt completely submissive and frustrated. She was just experimenting and wanted to know how it made me feel but I sense that's going to become another tool at her disposal.

I think you're right that I would probably be more likely to agree to her proposals if I hadn't cum for a while. The problem is that I'm too aroused at all times, there's too much going on right now. It is hot that she's able to use my arousal to manipulate me but the thought of being permanently aroused scares me. Who knows what mad things I would agree to. I imagine it would remove the clarity/regret and keep me "in the moment".

Dear Anon,

Thanks for your reply to this and the other updates you provided.

I don't think anyone of us (or very small part of the population) is 100% dominant or 100% submissive. I think most of us are somewhere on the scale in between. Also, if you read a lot of threads here, it is quite common for a Hotwife or Cuckoldress to be on the dominant side towards Her cuck, and on the submissive side with Her Bull (or sometimes several bulls). Also, we all evolve over time and discover new things.

Also from your conversation with your Girlfriend it appears to me that neither of you have been 100% honest, that is not strange or even a bad thing in this context. It appears that both of you are doing so for fear of exposing yourself in a way that would risk the relationship, not because you would prefer to lie. Now you are learning togehter and experiencing that being open to each other does not risk the relationship. It does result in changes in preferences. Isn't it wonderful that this Wonderwoman you are married to now actually loves you providing cunnilingus for Her to the extent that She sometimes requests it?

Also quite interesting that your friend who to you has been portraying himself as a dominant big-dicked-gift-to-the-Ladies-guy who wanted to fuck your Girlfriend and humiliate you, has a foot feetish!! How sweet!! Even more wonderful how your Girlfriend found out and exploited it. My admiration for this wonderful young Lady keeps growing. It will be very difficult to keep your secrets from Her, but when She actaully just appears to love you more the more She learns, maybe this is a good thing.

So by now, you have discovered your cuckold desires, Your Girlfriend is discovering what cuckolding is and now wants to cuckold you, both of you have discovered that your friend has a foot feetish. Maybe just an indication that most of us are into something we struggle to talk about and are afraid that our friends and better halves would find appaling?

Sincerely
elina

[Colliercuck]

I think I mentioned early on that she doesn't like receiving oral, she prefers to give. I've been aware in the last few weeks that she's starting to like me giving her oral and will even request it. This seemed hot to me. I'm also aware that I can't remember when she last sucked my dick other than the time she was tied up and I asked her to show me what she wanted to do with my friend's dick. It might've been a few weeks now. Since I realised a few days ago, I'm deliberately not initiating it to see if she even still wants to.

She would take charge in the past, maybe get on top and ride my face for example but she would do it to provoke a dominant response from me, not to enjoy riding my face or being in charge. Now she seems to enjoy it for what it is. She did it on Sunday or Monday, I assumed she wanted to be dominated but she resisted that. I probably could've overpowered her but I found it hot that she was enjoying it and asserting dominance. I also tried to copy a couple of things the other guy did to her but she had the complete opposite reaction to when he did them which was also weirdly hot.

She tried a new technique the other day that she had been reading about, she was edging me while telling me about a fantasy of hers and then completely stopped for a few seconds (denial?). For those few seconds I felt completely submissive and frustrated. She was just experimenting and wanted to know how it made me feel but I sense that's going to become another tool at her disposal.

I think you're right that I would probably be more likely to agree to her proposals if I hadn't cum for a while. The problem is that I'm too aroused at all times, there's too much going on right now. It is hot that she's able to use my arousal to manipulate me but the thought of being permanently aroused scares me. Who knows what mad things I would agree to. I imagine it would remove the clarity/regret and keep me "in the moment".

Dear Anon,

Thanks for your reply to this and the other updates you provided.

I don't think anyone of us (or very small part of the population) is 100% dominant or 100% submissive. I think most of us are somewhere on the scale in between. Also, if you read a lot of threads here, it is quite common for a Hotwife or Cuckoldress to be on the dominant side towards Her cuck, and on the submissive side with Her Bull (or sometimes several bulls). Also, we all evolve over time and discover new things.

Also from your conversation with your Girlfriend it appears to me that neither of you have been 100% honest, that is not strange or even a bad thing in this context. It appears that both of you are doing so for fear of exposing yourself in a way that would risk the relationship, not because you would prefer to lie. Now you are learning togehter and experiencing that being open to each other does not risk the relationship. It does result in changes in preferences. Isn't it wonderful that this Wonderwoman you are married to now actually loves you providing cunnilingus for Her to the extent that She sometimes requests it?

Also quite interesting that your friend who to you has been portraying himself as a dominant big-dicked-gift-to-the-Ladies-guy who wanted to fuck your Girlfriend and humiliate you, has a foot feetish!! How sweet!! Even more wonderful how your Girlfriend found out and exploited it. My admiration for this wonderful young Lady keeps growing. It will be very difficult to keep your secrets from Her, but when She actaully just appears to love you more the more She learns, maybe this is a good thing.

So by now, you have discovered your cuckold desires, Your Girlfriend is discovering what cuckolding is and now wants to cuckold you, both of you have discovered that your friend has a foot feetish. Maybe just an indication that most of us are into something we struggle to talk about and are afraid that our friends and better halves would find appaling?

Sincerely
elina

Elina, this is so insightful, this is where we keep something in and allow it to have power over us, and the longer we keep it in, the more power it has………..shame, fear, guilt (all undeserved and absolutely no need for)
But once we let it out, we have the power, and we share share that power, in this case with his girlfriend.
And then they can turn it into a positive……more transparency, more communication (and especially erotic communication) a deeper connection, a mutual understanding and acceptance…………we all want to be accepted, and it is so beautiful to be accepted by the one we love
I will add, that just because some might not accept our particular fantasy, sexuality or whatever, that does not mean we are less, or that we deserve any shame or guilt or fear.
It is what it is, and everyone is different, just as some like chocolate and others prefer vanilla……..there is nothing we with that and it deserves no judgment.
But it is extremely rewarding to share this journey (life and love) with someone that accepts us as we are, that vulnerability in being able to communicate and share is something I cannot put into words, but it touches me deeply

[anondesires]

She messaged me an hour or so ago asking if I'd be ok with her going out for drinks after work with her male colleague. He offers most weeks but she's always turned him down before. It won't be just the 2 of them, there's a couple of other guys that go. She made it clear that if I agree, I can't be upset with her if anything happens.

I instinctively typed out "It's ok with me, go ahead, have fun." but then paused for like 5 minutes before daring myself to send it. I'm still at work myself but my stomach is churning already. I think I'll try to work as late as I can.

She told me to let her know if I change my mind, she said she won't be upset.

[joel68]

Sounds like she is really getting into this, big-time. She is also making sure your feelings are taken into consideration. You really have it good right now.

Any more about your friend with the big one? Has she mentioned him at all? Have you?

It appears that there are interesting times ahead for both of you.

[Pecannut]

Wow! That is so hot. She is an amazing woman. It is so great that she keeps you updated and involved. Enjoy the ride!

[Wantsomefunto]

Good move! She needs to explore like this. Do you know anything bout these guys

[anondesires]

I got home, she's still out, it feels more real now. She said there's 3-5 guys in the group, aged maybe 25-35 (she's 24), they're all flirting with her, she's enjoying it. They might go to another bar afterwards, she checked I'm still ok with it. She's drinking, she left her car at work, they've offered to give her a lift home. I'm just trying to distract myself.

[sucker00]

Has she been texting you details about the night? Does she dress up for work, i.e. is she looking hot today?

[joel68]

I believe there’s a good chance she is going to get some cock tonight. Maybe more than one, lol.

[anondesires]

Has she been texting you details about the night? Does she dress up for work, i.e. is she looking hot today?

Not much, twice since she's been out. She works in an office, I think she looks hot in officewear. I can't help but keep remembering and then edging myself and wanting her to get fucked. If I were to just cum, I wouldn't want her to anymore and I'd call it off. My horny brain doesn't want that to happen so here we are, I still find it so fucked up as a concept.

[Dream Weaver]

Has she been texting you details about the night? Does she dress up for work, i.e. is she looking hot today?

Not much, twice since she's been out. She works in an office, I think she looks hot in officewear. I can't help but keep remembering and then edging myself and wanting her to get fucked. If I were to just cum, I wouldn't want her to anymore and I'd call it off. My horny brain doesn't want that to happen so here we are, I still find it so fucked up as a concept.

Anything easy ain't worth a damn.

[playwifeplease]

I believe there’s a good chance she is going to get some cock tonight. Maybe more than one, lol.

Agreed, this girl is a 'livewire' and now she knows she has permission.. watch this space! Enjoy the ride Anon

[Topnotch]

Just roll with it. Text her, tell her you just wanted to check in with her, make sure she was ok. See what she says, or doesn't say

[sucker00]

If I were to just cum, I wouldn't want her to anymore and I'd call it off. My horny brain doesn't want that to happen so here we are, I still find it so fucked up as a concept.

Therein lies the dilemma! You're so horny because of all this and want to cum, but then it will ruin the "high" that you're on, being on the edge of your seat.... cuckold angst! Maybe your gf should get you a chastity cage to make sure you're well behaved while she's out, not behaving.