Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

anondesires, if you think it was intimate and passionate with a dildo, just wait until there is a REAL cock, horny and hard, pushing to slide between your and her kissing lips. You're a guy, you know what it's like to be super horny, that hard pulsing feeling in your cock and all you can think about is getting it satisfied.. Now you will experience being at the receiving end of that intense desire, with her, and letting yourself go and follow her desires. She will show you the way. Your heart will beat so hard you'll think it's about to explode! You will lose yourself in her kissing sucking lips and the passion of the moment, and both or you will open your mouths to accept that cock. It's pure love <3

[Dream Weaver]

Ouch. When and how did you learn they are fucking?

They haven't/aren't. If you're referring to where I said "That's already happened a few times and he's always been reluctant because of the guilt of going behind my back." I meant they've been alone together before with her teasing him, like last week when we tried to record something but nothing much happened.

It's funny how she's so honest with you (and vice versa), but you are basically playing a game with your friend. Trying to bait him like a fish. He (probably) considers you his friend and won't do it under most circumstances.

And even if you succeed, he gets to have a guilt trip from hell.

I'd rethink your approach.

[anondesires]

It's funny how she's so honest with you (and vice versa), but you are basically playing a game with your friend. Trying to bait him like a fish. He (probably) considers you his friend and won't do it under most circumstances.

And even if you succeed, he gets to have a guilt trip from hell.

I'd rethink your approach.

That wasn't the plan, although the week before I guess you could say it was, I just wanted to see what happens when they're alone together.

The plan was that she was going to tell him that she told me about his foot fetish and possibly reassure him that we're not going to judge him for that. She was going to say that we both have secret fantasies too and offer him into our circle of trust. Past that, it was a a web of "what if he says this or that?" and trying to consider different eventualities. I think she was going to follow up that her secret is that she's a slut. I was expecting her to start the conversation at some point but it never happened.

[KevKevKev]

Anon, I've noticed that you and a few other people in this thread have said that you can't satisfy your girlfriend, and I think that's incorrect. She needs more than one guy to keep her happy and satisfied. She wasn't sexually satisfied with you or in her previous relationships where she was stuck with only one guy, or only one cock. She wouldn't be happy and satisfied with a guy who didn't want to share her and let her experience all there is to experience. You are giving her everything she needs to be satisfied in that regard.

It seems like she has some domme tendencies while you're more on the sub side. You're giving her that. She wants to play around with you and her sharing a cock. She's playing around locking up your cock so that you have to delay gratification and focus entirely on her, and it sounds like she wants to play around with your friend's foot fetish, too. In short, you are giving her everything she needs to feel sexually satisfied. You should feel proud that you are able to provide all of that for her. This kind of thing isn't just your fantasy, it's hers, too, and you're fulfilling her fantasies.

[wannabecUKold]

Sounds like a great first date to me. Everyone getting used to the idea of being together. Not every meeting needs to lead to sex. The build up is half the fun. Never be pushy is the important thing. If she wants to lead it, let it happen. More will come, trust me!

That was my immediate reaction.
The sexual tension - you could have cut it with a knife.
Imagine the thought bubbles coming out of their heads.
"I want her pretty body" "I need his cock but daredn't" "No, Don't do it; Yes yes do it"
Next time - with some alcohol inside them, they'll be bold.
And maybe the gf sends a quick text to best friend "Anon enjoyed seeing you flirting with me, ha ha ":

[leander99]

Before all this started, how much had you and your GF discussed the future - getting married, starting a family? If you had started making those sort of plans, I think you need to bring them into your ongoing discussions now as well as it will give you a much more stable base to discuss what you want and how to integrate your cuckold fantasies and her sexual needs.

We haven't really discussed marriage and kids much other than that we both want them. We're not financially ready for those things yet. Now doesn't seem like the time (to me at least) to discuss those things. Wouldn't waiting until we figure this out and decide if it's what we want first be better?

You should talk to her and let her know you intend to marry her.
Then propose, if you are certain she will agree. The actual marriage can wait a bit if you need to.
Honestly, it is time for you to man up and get past your fears. Deal with it!

You already know you are ging to marry her, right? And you know she will do what she is going to do.
So let her know, and give her the security she needs. Give yourself the certainty you need as well.
Then you can just go with the flow, without having to think things over.
If you are going to be together for life, then you already know what will happen will happen.

Or in less vague wording: if she fucks your friend, then that's what happens. You are still ging to marry her.

It isn't that hard. Maybe you are overthinking things.

[marriedky]

This is the greatest thread I’ve ever read. Please keep sharing

[parheliam]

Before all this started, how much had you and your GF discussed the future - getting married, starting a family? If you had started making those sort of plans, I think you need to bring them into your ongoing discussions now as well as it will give you a much more stable base to discuss what you want and how to integrate your cuckold fantasies and her sexual needs.

We haven't really discussed marriage and kids much other than that we both want them. We're not financially ready for those things yet. Now doesn't seem like the time (to me at least) to discuss those things. Wouldn't waiting until we figure this out and decide if it's what we want first be better?

It seems to me you need to first decide what the outcome will be. Don't be in such a rush with everything else. I'll say to you what i said in my previous post (although i think you did not read it as until it was approved the conversation got carried away). You are blaming yourself and despise as a man for being unable to make your girl cum. However it seems that the problem is not only with you, she wanted the same open relationships with her previous boyfriends. So i think you should reconsider and enjoy this cuckold fantasy and then get over and continue your life with a girl which will be more than happy with your size and performance.

[anondesires]

Next time - with some alcohol inside them, they'll be bold.

We'd had a couple of cans, not loads, he had to drive home after. She was a bit tipsy.

And maybe the gf sends a quick text to best friend "Anon enjoyed seeing you flirting with me, ha ha ":

She doesn't have his number on her phone. Even if I were to give it to her, it would seem weird and suspicious if a new number starts messaging him along these lines. She was trying to convince me to let her message him from my number pretending to be me but I was having none of it. I said it fell into the category of lies/games which she reluctantly agreed.

[sucker00]

Anon,

It seems pretty evident to me that your friend has established that he's attracted to your GF and wouldn't hesitate to bed her, but he also respects you enough to not make a move on her. I think you're position of not being deceitful with him is the right position for you to have taken. But at the same time, this also makes things harder to move the ball, because you can't rely on him making a move to get over the hurdle of breaking the ice of this dynamic which means you either remain to afraid of your emotions to do anything about this, or get over your fears and press forward. And keep in mind, that usually, the fear and anxiety that we conjure up in our heads is usually worse than the reality. That said, given your latest discussions on this thread, maybe an angle to take is, to tell your friend that you and your GF are getting serious and that she's always found your friend to be attractive, and that she wants to "sow her wild oats" with your friend before you and her take your relationship to the next level of commitment. This breaks the ice in an open and honest way with your friend, without you coming off as weak cuck. This is more of a position of, you love your girl and would do anything for her, and that you're confident enough in yourself and relationship to not be scared of her having sex with someone else. I think the "stag + hotwife" dynamic presents the male in a different light that being a cuck who is cheated on, even though the outcome is the same.

[Wantsomefunto]

Agree with the last post in that it is time you message him and break the ice is some manner as to what your and the GF want

[venus-can99]

As others have suggested above on how to break the ice with your friend, IMO he is also nervous, concerned about pushing things too far. It may be time for 3 of you to have a chat and it may or may not have the desired result - he may shy away or he may start fulfilling your fantasies. As some others and even you had mentioned in an earlier post if you feel this is too risky it may be good to look at some sites that specialize in this

[hubudig2]

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but I'll say it anyway because it feels like you're being ganged up on.
Ignore everyone that's pushing you to progress, they're just impatiently hoping for drama.
There's no rush, live in the moment, enjoy whatever's happening between you both right now.
You clearly enjoy this being out of your control, you've learned to enjoy letting go of control, there's no reason to start steering anything now.
If she really wants this, she'll make it happen. It's a good sign that she didn't just rush into it at the first opportunity and that she's cautious of messing things up, it means she values everything that's at stake for you.
Also, it's good that she's willing to do this the right way instead of taking the easy route and lying and potentially digging a hole that you can't get out of.

[Jeremie11231]

100% agree with Hubudig2.
Such good advice.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Ditto hubudig2.

[elina]

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but I'll say it anyway because it feels like you're being ganged up on.
Ignore everyone that's pushing you to progress, they're just impatiently hoping for drama.
There's no rush, live in the moment, enjoy whatever's happening between you both right now.
You clearly enjoy this being out of your control, you've learned to enjoy letting go of control, there's no reason to start steering anything now.
If she really wants this, she'll make it happen. It's a good sign that she didn't just rush into it at the first opportunity and that she's cautious of messing things up, it means she values everything that's at stake for you.
Also, it's good that she's willing to do this the right way instead of taking the easy route and lying and potentially digging a hole that you can't get out of.

Yes; I agree, let your Girlfriend move at Her pace,
But quitly reassure Her that whatever She choosed to do, you love Her more than ever.

Sincerely
elina

[Cgi69]

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but I'll say it anyway because it feels like you're being ganged up on.
Ignore everyone that's pushing you to progress, they're just impatiently hoping for drama.
There's no rush, live in the moment, enjoy whatever's happening between you both right now.
You clearly enjoy this being out of your control, you've learned to enjoy letting go of control, there's no reason to start steering anything now.
If she really wants this, she'll make it happen. It's a good sign that she didn't just rush into it at the first opportunity and that she's cautious of messing things up, it means she values everything that's at stake for you.
Also, it's good that she's willing to do this the right way instead of taking the easy route and lying and potentially digging a hole that you can't get out of.

This!! Good advice.

[anondesires]

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but I'll say it anyway because it feels like you're being ganged up on.
Ignore everyone that's pushing you to progress, they're just impatiently hoping for drama.
There's no rush, live in the moment, enjoy whatever's happening between you both right now.
You clearly enjoy this being out of your control, you've learned to enjoy letting go of control, there's no reason to start steering anything now.
If she really wants this, she'll make it happen. It's a good sign that she didn't just rush into it at the first opportunity and that she's cautious of messing things up, it means she values everything that's at stake for you.
Also, it's good that she's willing to do this the right way instead of taking the easy route and lying and potentially digging a hole that you can't get out of.

Thanks, this is pretty much what I've been doing and thinking but it's nice to hear it from someone else that they think I'm doing the right thing and for others to agree.

[anondesires]

On Monday night, she finished setting up a profile on Feeld. She had started doing it a couple of weeks ago but couldn't be bothered to fill it in and find/crop suitable photos. Within a day she already had 30 likes. She responded to 3 of them and was chatting to 2 of them last night. I noticed she would be slyly touching herself as she was tapping away on her phone next to me. She said I could read her conversations if I wanted, I said maybe some other time, the idea seemed too intense at that time and I still haven't seen them although curiosity probably would've got the better of me if her phone was sat next to me at all times.

The jealousy of it was getting to me, with them getting all of her attention, me having to fill her in with things on TV she hadn't noticed because she was too distracted. I considered how if I had set up a profile, I would have no chance of competing with these guys, she wouldn't even respond. My own girlfriend would swipe left on me.

I wondered what she was saying to them, had she told them I was her cuck boyfriend, that I couldn't satisfy her and she needed someone like them to give her what she needs? After I thought it, I tried to backtrack (This seems to be how my mind works, is it the same for others? My mind will throw me something extreme that'll turn me on and shame me and then I'll try to have a reality check to prove to myself that the thought was too extreme and not true). Anyway, I considered that I wasn't a true cuck and then flashed back to sitting in the doorway, stroking my dick as I watched her cum on a bigger cock. I flashed back to eating her pussy after she had come home from being with other men, not knowing what she had been up to. I flashed back to sucking a bbc dildo with her while being locked up. I don't think I had any claim to not be her cuck boyfriend anymore.

The thought of these big dicked guys, vying for her attention, hoping for the opportunity to fuck her, to cuck me. It made her more attractive to me. I wanted to go down on her. I tried to initiate with her but got just a brief kiss. She let me go down on her, she was already wet. She continued on her phone throughout. I wondered if she was telling them how she wanted to suck their dicks, I wondered if she told them she didn't suck my dick anymore. After she cum, she thanked me and wanted to cuddle for a bit but didn't offer anything in return. I felt cucked again. I waited until she went to bed to relieve myself and deal with the shame of it.

Around lunch time today, she messaged me to check I'd be ok with her meeting one of them tomorrow (Thursday) evening. She said it'll just be a brief meetup at a coffee shop, nothing more. She asked if I wanted to go with her, she said she'd understand if I didn't but said she'd feel safer with me there. That sounds like I should go with her but I've not considered this situation before. Has anyone done this before? What do you do? Sit there quietly while some guy makes moves on your girlfriend in front of you? I know I did that when that guy she already knew came over but that was like being a fly on the wall watching 2 people do what they've done before. I will probably be watching a complete stranger seduce my girlfriend to the point that she'll want to fuck him, in one sitting. It took me a long time to reach that level with her. Somehow that seems preferable to sitting at another table or standing outside.

[Jeremie11231]

Being there at the coffee shop might not be as bad as you think. It would probably feel remarkably like any social coffee meet-up, and the other guy will just act normal toward you. Most guys who would be on Feeld would understand your situation, or might even have handled similar couples before. She might not even like him when she meets him in person. If she does, it's a chance for you to demonstrate that you are nice and agreeable and won't interfere if things move forward at a later meet-up. My guess is that your girlfriend also really likes the feeling she gets seeing you interact with a guy who is interested in her, and also proudly showing off that she is the one who makes the decisions and that she has a boyfriend wrapped around her finger enough to accept that. So, she might want you there for her own comfort and safety but also to show off the power arrangement she has managed to establish, even at this early stage.

[elina]

On Monday night, she finished setting up a profile on Feeld. She had started doing it a couple of weeks ago but couldn't be bothered to fill it in and find/crop suitable photos. Within a day she already had 30 likes. She responded to 3 of them and was chatting to 2 of them last night. I noticed she would be slyly touching herself as she was tapping away on her phone next to me. She said I could read her conversations if I wanted, I said maybe some other time, the idea seemed too intense at that time and I still haven't seen them although curiosity probably would've got the better of me if her phone was sat next to me at all times.

The jealousy of it was getting to me, with them getting all of her attention, me having to fill her in with things on TV she hadn't noticed because she was too distracted. I considered how if I had set up a profile, I would have no chance of competing with these guys, she wouldn't even respond. My own girlfriend would swipe left on me.

Yes, but your Girlfriend did not select you to be a good fuck that She could dispense of when there was another better fucktoy for Her. She told you She selected you because She wants to have a good longterm relationship with someone who can offer much more than just sex.

And the way She is proceeding now clearly demonstrates that She remains committed to you, but both of you have now learned that you have a strong cuckold-fetish and She also has a strong need for sex with males with larger cocks and better stamina than you do.

I wondered what she was saying to them, had she told them I was her cuck boyfriend, that I couldn't satisfy her and she needed someone like them to give her what she needs? After I thought it, I tried to backtrack (This seems to be how my mind works, is it the same for others? My mind will throw me something extreme that'll turn me on and shame me and then I'll try to have a reality check to prove to myself that the thought was too extreme and not true). Anyway, I considered that I wasn't a true cuck and then flashed back to sitting in the doorway, stroking my dick as I watched her cum on a bigger cock. I flashed back to eating her pussy after she had come home from being with other men, not knowing what she had been up to. I flashed back to sucking a bbc dildo with her while being locked up. I don't think I had any claim to not be her cuck boyfriend anymore.

The thought of these big dicked guys, vying for her attention, hoping for the opportunity to fuck her, to cuck me. It made her more attractive to me. I wanted to go down on her. I tried to initiate with her but got just a brief kiss. She let me go down on her, she was already wet. She continued on her phone throughout. I wondered if she was telling them how she wanted to suck their dicks, I wondered if she told them she didn't suck my dick anymore. After she cum, she thanked me and wanted to cuddle for a bit but didn't offer anything in return. I felt cucked again. I waited until she went to bed to relieve myself and deal with the shame of it.

Dear Anon, many of us here understands that you feel ashamed. Only you can determine what you feel so nobody can argue with that. At the same time, many of us don't think you have anything to be ashamed off. You are the way you are and as long as you are not forcing anybody to do something they don't want to do, I don't think you have any objective reason to feel shame.

Around lunch time today, she messaged me to check I'd be ok with her meeting one of them tomorrow (Thursday) evening. She said it'll just be a brief meetup at a coffee shop, nothing more. She asked if I wanted to go with her, she said she'd understand if I didn't but said she'd feel safer with me there. That sounds like I should go with her but I've not considered this situation before. Has anyone done this before? What do you do? Sit there quietly while some guy makes moves on your girlfriend in front of you? I know I did that when that guy she already knew came over but that was like being a fly on the wall watching 2 people do what they've done before. I will probably be watching a complete stranger seduce my girlfriend to the point that she'll want to fuck him, in one sitting. It took me a long time to reach that level with her. Somehow that seems preferable to sitting at another table or standing outside.

Anon, I think you should go along. Your Girlfriend wants you to, She has told you She will feel safer that way.
Also, I think it will be better for you to meet the guy. Also, ask to read the conversation your Girlfriend has had with this particular person before the two of you go together to meet him.

Many of these meetings will lead to nothing. Look at the number of threads here where really attractive Ladies have been struggling to find the right Bull. The guy may not show, the guy may turn out to be something different than expected. If you don't feel like talking, I am sure your Girlfriend will handle that. If you are OK with this, simply tell the guy that you love your girlfriend and you want Her to be happy and sexually satisfied and leave it at that.

Sincerely
elina

[user322]

No matter what fears you may have, no matter what advice you may get here, your girlfriend will lead you towards the cuckold lifestyle

Everything's fine with you, you're in good hands

If you want your friend to fuck your girlfriend, leave them alone together. I think something will happen.

[ddriver86]

You should definitely go if she asked you to. But take some control and step up her game.

Tell her that you will and to make it more fun and to show your support and love for her, that you will wear the chastity device the whole time.

See how she reacts to that.

[Topnotch]

Well they should be meeting soon I guess?

[Mark605]

In my opinion, you need to set boundaries for her. I highly recommend that you stop sucking on the dildo and stop letting her peg you. You need to show her that she can't just do anything. Part of her desire for you resides on the fact that you are man enough to set limits on her. If you fail to do that, she may lose any sexual desire she still has for you. And in that case, you will be relying solely on her "love" for you, which is a bit risky.

You even stated in a previous post:

"I don't think I mind so much doing it on a dildo just for her to get turned on by, it seems harmless enough and an easy way to turn her on a lot".

It's a big mistake to believe it's that harmless. You sucking on a vibrator in front of her makes her perceive you differently. If you don't mind, that's fine, but it's not as harmless as you think.