My turn
I have been away with hubby many many times to vacation spots throughout the world. So going with Robert was more an act of being with my lover in a remote area of the world where I could be free without the obligations of being a mom or Mrs R.
Hubby and I have shared some moments this week. We have had a few disagreements over some issues that I will leave alone and not mention. I came back home to a man who was emotionally battered. I have no idea how he does it but I realized that hubby needed me to be his wife coming back. I started teasing him right away with my posts here, soon, I realized that his silence was a message to me that he was confused and needed his wife back. I set a lot of rules for game play this time. I mentioned to him that there was NO way he could use the safe word, and cancel my vacation once I asked him for the last time if he was sure about me leaving the USA and going away with Robert. I asked him if he understood that going away will almost guarantee that I will come back feeling love for NOT JUST HIM but for Robert as well. I also told him that there would be a chance that I might walk away from Robert as I have other men in the past once they get too close to me. Coming back this time, I told hubby right away that my heart is with Robert more than I expected. But that I am learning to balance my love for both men and that he needs to understand and be patient with me.
I hope everyone reading this understands that I am not a slut. I dont seek a man for sex because I am unhappy with my husband. That would be easy for me. To fall out of love with my husband and have an affair like most unhappy married spouses may do. But, for me to be in love with my hubby, for me to lust his body and sex, for me to be proud to be his wife, and then be asked by my hubby to leave with Robert, to be asked to fall in love wiht him, to be asked to LET go, to not be his wife, to be Robert's only sexual partner, to deny hubby, to be asked to push hubby's buttons, to be asked to live life on the edge with hubby, to become a cuckoldress to hubby///////THAT IS A LOT TO HANDLE! THAT IS A LOT TO DEAL WITH!
So coming back to hubby, missing Robert, fulfilling my husbands urges to re-claim me, that is a LOT!
To be in love with hubby, more than I have ever been, and to feel a lot of love for a new lover in my life.
That is a lot to deal with.
It makes me want to quit being hotwife!
It makes me wanting to just be a married housewife!
But like hubby, I am not sure that I can turn back.
My sex with hubby is beautiful!
I am trying to love 2 men.
I am not sure how much longer I can do this!
But I am trying.
I will write more later.
I know most of you are waiting for the juicy details of my vacation.
I will write about that later.
I just needed to vent!