It was another night (and morning) of lots of discussion. We had sex but it was slow and passionate which felt right and we both enjoyed it but I couldn't help wonder if that's what sex is for us now, whether she feels like I've admitted defeat and expects nothing more from me now. I'm probably just overthinking it.
The subject did come up about the things she's read about and wondered if I was into or not:
Chastity cages:
I said it had never crossed my mind and I didn't see the point.
She said she found the idea weird at first, she read into it, thinks she understands the principles but has no interest in trying it. She said she likes the idea of me having to tell her if I masturbate thinking about her fucking another guy but would prefer for me to do that voluntarily, she's not interested in enforcing anything.
BBC:
She's fucked 2 black guys before but said they weren't particularly big. She commented on how much cuckold porn was about BBC and said she'd love to experience guys like that which got my dick hard. She noticed, smiled and added that she's thought about me sucking one. She said she's not particularly bothered about the interracial aspect, mostly the big, dominant, muscular guys with big cocks.
I said it was a hot idea but probably just because of the porn influence, not something I'm particularly bothered about either. I admitted that seeing her with a bigger cock was a thing for me and seeing her be properly satisfied. She said that was hot to hear.
Creampie Eating:
She said she found this one weird, gross and didn't understand why it was a thing at first. She read about it and watched videos of it, still found it weird. She said when she properly tried to imagine the emotions she might be feeling after, she started to get an understanding. She said when she pretended that she had fucked my friend and asked me to show forgiveness, she imagined that she had just been fucked by him and it felt good to have me go down on her, made her feel less guilty and dirty, felt like I loved her unconditionally.
I told her it wasn't something I wanted but admitted that when she pretended she had fucked my friend, I had a weird urge to go down on her. The thoughts of his cock having been in her pussy and potentially cumming in her entered my mind and made the urge stronger. This was a tough one to admit. I also admitted that when I watched videos of it, the thought that she might force me to do it turned me on but I reiterated that I didn't want her to.
Pegging:
I said that pegging had never crossed my mind, it was a strange experience but I admitted that the way she had used it had achieved what she had intended it to. I said that the threat of her doing it again scared me but I'd remember to use the safe word next time.
She said she didn't enjoy it at all and didn't like the smell
Female Domination:
She said that being dominant wasn't in her nature, I agreed that it was difficult to imagine. I pointed out that I had already seen a slight transition in the past few months and that in a conversation we had had earlier where she was talking about the guy she's arranging to meet, she was much more dominant about it than a couple of days ago. She no longer talked about it like she was suggesting it and grateful to me for letting her but talked about it like she was deciding and I was going to be grateful to her. She said she hadn't noticed and it wasn't deliberate but on reflection realised what I meant. We agreed not to try to force anything and see how it goes.
Gangbangs:
She said she's always liked this idea and has enjoyed mini-gangbangs in her past. I said it was a hot idea.
Humiliation:
I said I wasn't really sure. The subtly humiliating things she had said so far had turned me on but I couldn't really imagine getting turned on from direct verbal abuse. She wanted to try it, apologised in advance but said she had to confess that she had lied in a conversation way back near the start of all of this. (We had been talking about her experiences and big dicks and she had told me that she didn't prefer big dicks). She said that wasn't what she meant, she was scared of upsetting me and it came out wrong. What she meant is that she prefers the meaningful sex we have to the meaningless sex she's had with big dicked guys but felt that she had a hunger or a craving for big dicks and what they do for her. She noted that my dick was hard and asked if I was ok with it, I said it was hot.
She took the big dick dildo off the bedside table and put it next to mine for comparison. She said "you know you're dick is a bit smaller than average, right? a.k.a. small". My heart was thumping, from the gut punches but my dick was hard. She said my friends dick was similar to the dildo (almost twice as long and thick). She had a hand around it and mine, her hand looked so small and weak around the dildo by comparison. She asked me to imagine how different it must feel in her pussy, how much pleasure a bigger dick can give that I just can't compare. She said "humiliation turns you on, right?", I nodded reluctantly, she was relieved because she felt so mean but said it felt like a thrill to be so mean and it turn me on. I asked what she would have the urge to do if me and him were both stood with our dicks out like how she had the dildo next to my dick. She asked if I really wanted to know. I said I did. She put both hands on him and took it deep in her mouth, she looked as if it gave her mouth pleasure, it was so fucking hot and I told her so.
There's probably some others but I can't think of them right now.