Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[KevKevKev]

You are a natural writer, Anon. I loved every minute of it.

Regarding the kissing, do you think your girlfriend needs to kiss in order to have sex? I understand that's a boundary a lot of people come up with, but it's also a boundary that gets changed because it's hard to have foreplay and sex without kissing.

[oberothbeta]

Anon, your story is so well written and is a thrill to read. Love how you've gotten through the initial apprehension to where you are now.

[octavian]

Both Anon and oberothbeta have written excellent and highly erotic accounts.

[parheliam]

Now I'm eager to see if there was a next time and how the dynamic between you 3 changed during it.

[anondesires]

Messaging between me and him carried on along the same lines throughout the week, him being in disbelief and asking questions about it. He would tell me how if he suddenly got fantasies like that that he wouldn't be able to handle it. I told him he wouldn't have a choice and that I felt like that too. He couldn't believe it could just come out of nowhere, he seemed to be insisting that maybe I had always been into it, like that seemed more believable to him which was humiliating in itself. I insisted I hadn't and I was as horrified as he would be when I realised I was turned on by the thought entering my head. He told me he wouldn't have let her find out about it, I pointed out that she had figured out his foot thing.

He said he couldn't imagine what it's like for me. He couldn't understand that I both didn't want it and did at the same time. He asked if I could understand what this might be like for him, he said as much as he feels sorry for me that this was basically the best thing ever for him. I told him I could imagine it would be hot if it had been the other way around, I joked that I couldn't imagine him having a hot girlfriend though. He said that he worried about it coming between us, he felt like he wouldn't be able to help but take advantage of it. I told him I appreciated his honesty and concern and we agreed to try not to let it come between us. I told him about our safe word. He thought it was hilarious that we have a safe word for it, to prevent me getting cucked too hard. I said I hadn't used it yet which he found even funnier, having watched her get fucked and going along with it instead of stopping it. I said the safe word was a hangover from sex games we used to play but didn't elaborate.

He got tested on the Tuesday, I found that out from her, he hadn't mentioned the testing or going without condoms to me. The results came in on Friday and he was all clear. Hearing her tell me that scared me. The realisation that he would actually cum inside her pussy and I would no doubt be eating creampie and not just any creampie, my best friend's creampie, the contents of his fucking balls. I hated the idea, it tormented me but turned me on. I was fixating on it, trying to convince myself I wouldn't want to, that I wouldn't do it but then I would remember the image of him cumming while he fucked her, remembered the urge I had to go down on her after. As I got hornier I knew I would do it and it turned me on more. I was thinking about it Friday night after she had gone to bed, we had had sex a couple of hours earlier but I found myself jerking off as I thought about the creampie situation, cumming as I realised I would do it. I still both hated and got immense pleasure from this fantasy.

On the Wednesday (that same week), she had been teasing me about it all but it wasn't having the usual effect, it was annoying me. I don't know if she had got overconfident with it or if I wasn't in the right mood but she was surprised by it too. I guess this felt similar to the time shortly before he came over, I was horny but wanted to prove that I wouldn't just roll over every time she teased me. I grabbed her and kissed her, asserting dominance, holding her firmly. She was enjoying it, getting horny. I remembered how he had fucked her mouth and I wanted the same. I had been seeing how long she would go without sucking me but it felt like time to end that. I held her arms down and offered my dick to her mouth. She looked at me reluctant, sulky and defeated which kind of made it hotter. I grabbed her by the hair/head and told her to suck. I wasn't faking dominance, I didn't feel unworthy, it felt natural and good. This wasn't that unusual but I wonder if maybe I do still enjoy both dom and sub, I just can't dom all the time like she wants, especially combined with performance anxiety. She sucked and looked like she was enjoying the situation, I called her a good bitch, she looked at me a bit angry and defeated but it just made it hotter. I told her she couldn't do or say anything to stop me, it seemed to turn her on. I fucked her mouth then pulled her hair/head back as I painted her face with cum.

We both laughed about it and she went to wash her face. The rest of the night was close and affectionate, I wondered if we needed moments like this for balance? Does anyone else have these moments of dominance? Are they a healthy and necessary part of your relationship? People keep telling me that she might lose all respect for me and leave me. I don't feel like general respect has been lost in our relationship and she clearly respects that I have the strength and ability to dominate because she brought it up that time before he came over.

[parheliam]

I think you just saved your relationship.

[WarrenOldcuck]

I agree, you did totally the right thing. You don't have to roll over and accept everything all the time. One thing about their first time together, I think she could have been a bit kinder to you when answering his questions. Sure, she going to admit he's bigger but on the "who's best" question she could have been more diplomatic by saying that you're both good but in different ways or that it was a bit different because of his size. Just my thoughts, but I'm glad you're doing OK and wish you all the best.

[parheliam]

Mate, dis you had a second meeting with him? It sounds to me that your ideas shifted a bit, because at the begining you did not want to hear about cleaning after him and now you say you jerkoff with this in mind. I also do believe that your girl needa to be a little bit "corrected" because if you will play the submissive game long term and be just a tool in the process you may end up without her. I mean..you need to bring something to the table. I understand she loves you and you are the whole relationship package minus the sex, but whatbif, in time, she'll fins the whole package including sex. Where did it leaves you?

[anondesires]

Mate, dis you had a second meeting with him? It sounds to me that your ideas shifted a bit, because at the begining you did not want to hear about cleaning after him and now you say you jerkoff with this in mind. I also do believe that your girl needa to be a little bit "corrected" because if you will play the submissive game long term and be just a tool in the process you may end up without her. I mean..you need to bring something to the table. I understand she loves you and you are the whole relationship package minus the sex, but whatbif, in time, she'll fins the whole package including sex. Where did it leaves you?

2nd meeting... and 3rd (both weekends since), plus she went over to his place without me and fucked him Wednesday last week (that's when I started to consider posting on here again but couldn't without explaining everything that had happened since). My ideas have shifted continuously, that's what scares me the most. Surely everyone can worry that their other half might find someone that's a better package or more complete package? (He isn't either of those things.) I just need to make sure that our relationship stays strong.

[anondesires]

I agree, you did totally the right thing. You don't have to roll over and accept everything all the time. One thing about their first time together, I think she could have been a bit kinder to you when answering his questions. Sure, she going to admit he's bigger but on the "who's best" question she could have been more diplomatic by saying that you're both good but in different ways or that it was a bit different because of his size. Just my thoughts, but I'm glad you're doing OK and wish you all the best.

I think if he had asked her who fucks better after they had calmed down she would probably have given him a diplomatic answer. While she's feeling submissive and taking a pounding, she'll tell you the way she thinks you want to hear it.

Thanks

[anondesires]

You are a natural writer, Anon. I loved every minute of it.

Regarding the kissing, do you think your girlfriend needs to kiss in order to have sex? I understand that's a boundary a lot of people come up with, but it's also a boundary that gets changed because it's hard to have foreplay and sex without kissing.

It's definitely a key part of how I get her in the mood. I don't think she "needs" it, she didn't kiss the other guy I watched her with but it probably helps her get in the mood. It still pains me to see it, but I'm accepting it's part of it and probably not the same as when we kiss.

[joel68]

I am a bit confused.

So you posted about the first time he came over. Then the texts between you and him. Then watching the video. Him getting tested for the second session so it’s raw.

But has she fucked him since? If so, did you watch them fuck?

[JeffBingham]

I am a bit confused.

So you posted about the first time he came over. Then the texts between you and him. Then watching the video. Him getting tested for the second session so it’s raw.

But has she fucked him since? If so, did you watch them fuck?

Check out the post above from 7:40 AM

[joel68]

I did. Great! But can you please give us a narrative of the other times?

[elina]

Mate, dis you had a second meeting with him? It sounds to me that your ideas shifted a bit, because at the begining you did not want to hear about cleaning after him and now you say you jerkoff with this in mind. I also do believe that your girl needa to be a little bit "corrected" because if you will play the submissive game long term and be just a tool in the process you may end up without her. I mean..you need to bring something to the table. I understand she loves you and you are the whole relationship package minus the sex, but whatbif, in time, she'll fins the whole package including sex. Where did it leaves you?

2nd meeting... and 3rd (both weekends since), plus she went over to his place without me and fucked him Wednesday last week (that's when I started to consider posting on here again but couldn't without explaining everything that had happened since). My ideas have shifted continuously, that's what scares me the most. Surely everyone can worry that their other half might find someone that's a better package or more complete package? (He isn't either of those things.) I just need to make sure that our relationship stays strong.

Dear Anondesires,

Thank you for writing up all of this.

First, Looking at it in perspective, I think this actually is bringing you and your friend closer together.
It is really good to see that he has concerns for you and while he truly enjoys fucking your Girlfriend (From the way you have described Her, I don't see who wouldn't) he also still wants to ensure you are allright and that it will not negatively impact your friendship.

Second. I think it is incredibly interesting to see how mixed you emotions have been throughout this process and how your thoughts about different activities have evolved, as you say; My ideas have shifted continuously, that's what scares me the most.

But why should you be scared about that? To me, this just shows you have ab open mind and are able to process and accept things as they happen. You are not doing anything that is morally wrong in my opinion. All three of you involved in this are consenting grown ups. You are definitely engaged in activities which are outside of some peoples sexual norms. So what. These are largely cultural. To me, a lot of this is hypocracy. Look at all the people who are putting on a very strict moral fascade and then end up being caught cheating on their wives or worse. (Look at the list of people who is in the Epstein files and the current debacle in the US)

I have strong feelings about indiduals who exploit minors and commits acts of any kind of rape. But you are not doing anything like that. Your consciense should be clear.

I fully understand how difficult it is for you to accept that you actually are sexually turned on by being cucked. On the other hand, many of us posting on this site would consider your Girlfriend the absolute and perfect Dream Girl we would gladly submit to and support.

Please continue your story but go on Youtube and play the "Always look at the bright side of Life" to get some perspective on this.

Sincere regards
elina

[anondesires]

Also you said all this came and went so how are you doing now mentally and emotionally? How is your relationship with your girlfriend and your friend?

Everything seems good. I still don't "want" them to do it but I guess I've accepted that she needs it, nothing bad comes of it and that I get pleasure from it. She's right that she's satisfying my ultimate fantasy, I should be grateful and sometimes I feel genuinely grateful to her (and him) and realising that is humiliating in itself. I still wish it wasn't my ultimate fantasy

With him, I've already alluded to it but we've got this thing going where he'll ask if I would do something if it were the other way around. The other way around being that he had a hot girlfriend and he developed cuck fantasies instead of me and I was fucking her. So if he's feeling guilty about wanting to do something or feels like he's pushing his luck or taking advantage, he'll ask "if it were the other way round, would you do (or feel bad about doing) _____?". But it works in reverse too, I might tell him that if it were the other way around I'd do _____, sometimes just as banter but sometimes to encourage him. It really plays into this thing where I'll imagine being in his position and then realise that I'm in my position. Hard to explain it, hopefully it makes sense and someone can relate?

So last Tuesday, he messaged me telling me he wants some pussy the following night, that he could ask the girl he's been seeing but it's more tempting to invite my girlfriend over instead. He asked me if it were the other way around, would I invite his girlfriend over. I messaged back that I would and wouldn't feel bad about sending her home to him full of cum. It feels like I'm getting back at him but the reality is that he's going to do that to me. The next thing I know, she's coming to me, telling me he's invited her over, asking if I would be ok with her going.

A deeper question if you don't mind me asking: Now that it's happened, have you changed how you feel about your girlfriend? Do you feel distant or closer to her after the fact? And how does she feel about this, id guess she'd be feeling ecstatic since she's getting to have her cake and eat it too but Im curious how you and her interact day to day, if she's a bit more dominant.

We feel closer but it does feel like somethings changed, somethings missing but also we have something new to bring us together and tease each other about. She tells me she loves having her cake and eating it, I don't think she'd change a thing. She's aware she might get bored of fucking him or get tempted by someone else and is glad that it doesn't matter if she does.

I think she's more confident and confident in that she can dominate me if I let her. I think that "if I let her" part might be significant to our dynamic, I'm not sure yet. Generally though, we're the same as we've always been, it's just the sexual flirting and teasing is more than it's been for a long time and usually a different dynamic/subject to what it was in the past.

[anondesires]

@anondesires i strongly suggest you to search on the hub (black and orange- i don't think i'm allowed to mention the name) MaryBarrie for the ultimate cukold experience (since you were having issues recalling your girl)

Thanks for this, I hadn't seen her before, some hot stuff there.

[venus-can99]

Anon - thanks for the very expressive posts detailing your exchange with your best friend and interactions with your sexy gf. Sex is one aspect of a relationship but IMO you mean a lot more to her than just a stunt cock. She is right when she says she can have her cake and eat it too. She has a very loving and supportive bf and a big cock on the side when she needs it.

[anondesires]

With him, I've already alluded to it but we've got this thing going where he'll ask if I would do something if it were the other way around. The other way around being that he had a hot girlfriend and he developed cuck fantasies instead of me and I was fucking her. So if he's feeling guilty about wanting to do something or feels like he's pushing his luck or taking advantage, he'll ask "if it were the other way round, would you do (or feel bad about doing) _____?". But it works in reverse too, I might tell him that if it were the other way around I'd do _____, sometimes just as banter but sometimes to encourage him. It really plays into this thing where I'll imagine being in his position and then realise that I'm in my position. Hard to explain it, hopefully it makes sense and someone can relate?

So last Tuesday, he messaged me telling me he wants some pussy the following night, that he could ask the girl he's been seeing but it's more tempting to invite my girlfriend over instead. He asked me if it were the other way around, would I invite his girlfriend over. I messaged back that I would and wouldn't feel bad about sending her home to him full of cum. It feels like I'm getting back at him but the reality is that he's going to do that to me. The next thing I know, she's coming to me, telling me he's invited her over, asking if I would be ok with her going.

Also, in person and when you're horny, it's difficult to not reply before you've flipped it around and considered that it's going to happen to you. By message, I almost dare myself not to think about it from my perspective before sending. I hate that I like this shit!

She's even started joining in with this ("if it were the other way around")...

[elina]

We feel closer but it does feel like somethings changed, somethings missing but also we have something new to bring us together and tease each other about. She tells me she loves having her cake and eating it, I don't think she'd change a thing. She's aware she might get bored of fucking him or get tempted by someone else and is glad that it doesn't matter if she does.

Hm, to me it seems more like She's having Her Cakes (cream-pies at least) but that you are then one eating them

Sincerely
elina

[Dream Weaver]

The dominance issue in your message near the top. Unless a girl has a little sadistic streak, almost definitely during the actual act, most of them want to be taken. Most want to give up control. It doesn't matter if it's the cucked husband or the other guy.

I think the guys that want to go all in and be a little starfish and not do anything but be told a story are not very successful.

[Holy crap, true story as I'm typing this my own wife came in and wanted to do it, so I guess I'm field testing the theory real time]

My own wife wants me to give it to her. She rarely initiates (which is why this is so funny), but she'd been out of sorts the last week and was feeling a little guilty about not giving me attention, she admitted it to me).

Strangely, she's not really into foreplay, just lubes me up and wants me to go to town. Then, fairly quickly it went into a 69. Long story short, she wanted me, not somebody else.

[parheliam]

Surely everyone can worry that their other half might find someone that's a better package or more complete package? (He isn't either of those things.) I just need to make sure that our relationship stays strong.

I beg to differ. It's not your job to make your relationship stay strong. it should be 50-50. However, i don't want to get up in your head before knowing all the details. You said they meet 3 more times, two weekends and one time when she went to him, but what is the chronology?

Surely everyone can worry that their other half might find someone that's a better package or more complete package, but in your case is a different aspect. You are compromising a lot and your girl is taking advantage of it. She met with him once, then twice, then she went to him. What if he would have asked her instead of you, you think you would have been involved in the decision? Today she's going to him, tomorrow she spends the night, next time they go for a getaway weekend. Are you able to cope with that? How far are you willing to go?

Looking forward to hear the other stories and how you and your dynamic changed, but please write them in the order in which they happen so we can write here our advises and conclusions.

[karmacanuck]

Mr Anon - this story is incredible. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.

Your friend has a really interesting way of effectively getting your permission to do things lol. Do you have a limit in your mind of a line that would make you stop this whole thing, considering your apprehension at using your safeword?

[anondesires]

You said they meet 3 more times, two weekends and one time when she went to him, but what is the chronology?

4 (more times) now, 5 total.
First time was 22nd June.
Second time (me watching) was 29th June.
She went over to his alone 2nd July.
He came over again 6th July.
She went over to his again 9th July.

You are compromising a lot and your girl is taking advantage of it. She met with him once, then twice, then she went to him. What if he would have asked her instead of you, you think you would have been involved in the decision?

I assume (like with how other things have progressed) that at some point the trust will be there and I won't be involved in the decision. So far the 3 of us seem to have a good understanding and communication.

Today she's going to him, tomorrow she spends the night, next time they go for a getaway weekend. Are you able to cope with that? How far are you willing to go?

I can't see them going away for a weekend or even spending the night. The 2 of them don't really get on like that. I could see the 3 of us going away for a weekend. When she has gone over to his place, she wasn't there for long, she just stopped by on her way home from work. It's hard to say how far I'm willing to go because I don't see it going much further.

Looking forward to hear the other stories and how you and your dynamic changed, but please write them in the order in which they happen so we can write here our advises and conclusions.

I wasn't planning on writing about the other meet ups, it's all much the same plus I can't specifically remember what happened or how I felt, the 3 times blur into 1. I'm happy to answer questions and mention anything that's new or interesting.

[parheliam]

I wasn't planning on writing about the other meet ups, it's all much the same plus I can't specifically remember what happened or how I felt, the 3 times blur into 1. I'm happy to answer questions and mention anything that's new or interesting.

Would have been interesting to tell us at least the one where you watched, even if the 3 times blur into 1. How was he different, how was she, how about immediately after?